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Author Topic: Feeling Hooked on Xanax :(  (Read 6151 times)

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Offline RobbyR

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  • Posts: 903
Feeling Hooked on Xanax :(
« on: May 05, 2015, 08:21:22 pm »
I made a response to Cleardot's forum about anxiety, & touched me because I relate to it because as most here know I've battled mental health issues & anxiety for a long time. I'm currently feeling much better, more so than a long time, & have found a good doctor & therapist who care about me, but what I'm still battling now is addiction to Xanax. Not a major addiction, but definitely dependency.

The former psychiatrist I was seeing way back (no longer seeing him) prescribed me Xanax along with an anti-depressant & I began taking a fairly low dose as-needed (.5mg) for anxiety/panic disorder. Almost two years later now, & I'm on Lexapro & Remeron for sleep, & a beta blocker for blood pressure, which is helping my anxiety a lot, but I am still dependent on Xanax. I ran out of refills recently & about freaked out. Luckily, I have been tapering down for a long time, weaning myself down, the highest dose I've taken recently is probably less than .25mg, but I find myself still needing to chew on a piece of a Xanax to sleep at night.

I know that's a very low dose, & basically my anxiety is under control enough by my other meds now that if I wasn't dependent on Xanax, I could do without it. But how do I get off of it for good? Like I said I've been tapering way down for months, it's been 7-8 months since I've taken a full .5mg dose. Now, I'm down to less than .25mg per night. I break the .5mg pills in half & into tiny pieces & put it in my mouth & let it dissolve. This is such a low dose, is this actual dependency, or just making myself think I need them?

This week I ran out of Xanax & about freaked out but my new psychiatrist (even though he himself never prescribed me xanax) was kind enough to write me a new 30-day amount. This will help me for the time being, but I still really want to be free of it eventually. I have a history of chemical dependency & while my anxiety is much much better, I do want to be able to not be hooked on it. But how do I get there, without having a meltdown? Thanks so much to anyone who comments, & to Cleardot for his post which I related to a lot.
"I survived because I was tougher than anybody else".--Bette Davis

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Offline zach

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  • Posts: 3,586
Re: Feeling Hooked on Xanax :(
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2015, 08:35:33 pm »
have you told the prescribing doctor about your addiction history? benzo addiction and withdrawal syndrome can be some nasty shit.

have you been varying your dose on your own or under your doctors guidance? dose reduction and weaning off should be done carefully.

last... is your current doctor aware of all medications you're taking?

robby, i ask these questions because you've had a history of being very evasive with your doctors. you're not doing yourself any favors if that is going.

med seeking behaviors is a hallmark of addiction. daily use of benzo over such a long period of time is not usually recommended.

i hope you'll discuss this issue with your prescribing doctor, they need all information in order to most effectively treat you.


Offline tednlou2

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  • Posts: 5,730
Re: Feeling Hooked on Xanax :(
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2015, 12:53:35 am »
When most people think of addiction, they think of someone taking more and more, running out early, calling their doc they lost their pills, etc.  You actually seem to have things under control.  .25mgs per day is about as low dose as you could take.  I guess what matters is that you feel dependent, in order to sleep.  And, you don't want to feel dependent.  Do you freak out, when you don't have your other meds?

You are already down to a very low dose.  Perhaps you could take it every other night for a while and then every third night.  What's going on a night that you need the .25mgs that isn't happening the rest of the day?  Is that when your anxiety hits?  Have you tried just going without it for a night?   

Offline RobbyR

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Re: Feeling Hooked on Xanax :(
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2015, 02:23:05 pm »
Yea I def don't think I'm a major addict. If at all. I do feel very dependent on it though, which I don't like. I've been tapering way down for a long time & really want to be free of it eventually. I'm also struggling with alcohol a bit, but nothing out of total control I don't think. I've been in a lot of pain & just trying to take every day day by day. I don't think I could skip a night without a tiny bit of xanax but ultimately I want to get there. I barely take .25mg now as it is, so I don't think thats enough to keep me physically hooked. I just want to get to where I don't feel I need any of it. My anxiety is much much better than it used to be. Sleep comes & goes sometimes it's good sometimes not so much. I'm thankful to be alive & for every day that's halfway decent.
"I survived because I was tougher than anybody else".--Bette Davis

Atripla
2010-2015

Stribild
2015-2016

Genvoya
2016-

Offline Grasshopper

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  • Posts: 737
Re: Feeling Hooked on Xanax :(
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2015, 04:46:34 am »
Now, I'm down to less than .25mg per night. I break the .5mg pills in half & into tiny pieces & put it in my mouth & let it dissolve. This is such a low dose, is this actual dependency, or just making myself think I need them?

That sounds like such a low dose that can't have any real effect. Oké....accept the fact that you are making yourself think you need it. Fussing about that just add more to your anxiety. Keep working with your doctor and therapist to resolve your other issues. Once those get better and you feel better and comfortable....the need for the tiny bit of Xanax  may disappear.  But do yourself a favor, and mention this issue you have with the Xanax to your doctor and therapist. Perhaps one day without you knowing they might prescribe you a Xanax placebo (to test your dependency)

good luck and hope you feel better

Offline mecch

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  • Posts: 13,455
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Feeling Hooked on Xanax :(
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2015, 07:12:12 am »
Globally, and from a distance, it seems Robby that you are anxious and obsessive about the idea of being dependent and an addict, perhaps more than any actual dependency.  You are carefully breaking things down into smallest pieces possible sounds like anxiety about meds and the possible absence of supply panic, as well.
I would suggest you have a session with your therapist precisely about your addiction anxiety and like zach says bring in a list of all your medicine.
Maybe most docs are going to say there is no medical downside to a person taking .25 of xanax a day. I dunno maybe. So if there's no medical problem, maybe the real problem is emotional and the therapist can help you shift your attitude so you can take the drugs that give you the relief you need.  Or get off the drugs if that is really your preference.  But why the preference?  If some complicated fears about addiction, don't in fact apply when its only .25 of xanax and it helps you sleep, maybe the addiction phobia can be put aside for this molecule.   
« Last Edit: May 09, 2015, 07:15:52 am by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline zach

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  • Posts: 3,586
Re: Feeling Hooked on Xanax :(
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2015, 07:31:22 am »
not for nothing, addiction isn't your problem robby, if you're really only taking such a small amount of xanax (but i've never known an addict be honest about their intake)

just stop taking it and problem solved

you're letting anxieties, about every bump little in the night, completely dominate your thinking... you stay down in a worry well... until you can really address that, it's going to one thing after another. you'll just keep finding something new to fret about

man, the xanax is supposed to help you with anxiety, but you're taking less than a therapeutic dose... so why are you taking it? recreation?

 


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