To Ann

[Biggums]

Hi,

Since you are the queen of info for me, as well as Peter (well he's the king I guess, not queen!), I thought I'd run this by you.  When I went for my test last week, the nurse gave me a brochure called "Using your head".  It was a guide to HIV.  IN it it said one can get HIV merely from oral sex which I thought is contrary to what I've learned on here.  So I wanted to get your advice.

It also said to never, ever, ever brush your teeth before sex, something I always did as a courtesy.  Is that wrong?

Confused

[Ann]

Biggums,

I'll give you my standard answer - There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. This shows us two things. One, condoms are very effective for the prevention of hiv transmission. Two, oral sex is much lower risk than previously believed. We now have the evidence that oral sex is a very, very low risk activity where hiv transmission is concerned.

Receiving a blowjob, or cunnilingus either way, are NOT risks. The only oral act that may be a little more than a theoretical risk is GIVING a blowjob. You'd mainly need to worry about this if your oral health is awful - and I mean awful.

The thing with brushing your teeth - if you do it seconds before giving head, that might not be a good idea. But ten - fifteen minutes? I wouldn't worry about it.

Over in the Am I forum, we don't recommend testing over specific incidents of giving head. We do, however, recommend regular sexual health care check ups for any and all sexually active adults.

Are you aware that you are MUCH more likely to pick up something like gonorrhea through giving head? Check out this article from aidsmap.com

At the end of the day, you'll have to weigh up the evidence and decide what level of risk you are comfortable with. You may decide to swallow, spit, not allow ejaculation in your mouth, or to use condoms. It's something you'll have to decide for yourself, but I hope you find the information helpful.

Ann

PS... I think technically, we might both be queens. I'll have to look that one up and get back to you.