scared about a recent encounter with CSW

[imanidiot1]

First off I really am an idiot.  I am in a relationship with someone I care about very much yet I decided to visit a CSW...and now i am concerned that I am putting her at risk as well as my future by making such a dumb mistake.

We took part in covered vaginal sex and she went down on me (covered).  My concern is that i went down on her uncovered but the week before (actually 8 days before) I busted my lip open (on the inside - my bottom teeth cut my lip when hit playing a sport) and it was not pretty.  By the time i visited the csw, my lip was definitely healing, not fully healed but most of the gash had healed (literally sealed back up) and the rest definitely had a protective layer - the wound literally stopped bleeding that night and had no issues prior to or after the encounter...  I was also mouth washing and such to keep it clean (after i hurt it - not with the csw).  In two days after the encounter my lip had completely healed (sorry for the info just trying to be complete).  Anyway, i only went down on the csw for literally 15 seconds total of oral to genital contact and it was just my tongue.  I did not really penetrate her or anything it was light licking and I only did it for so long because i was freaked out i even started - she had no visible signs or anything and appeared to have good hygiene (not sure any of this matters - again trying to be complete).  I have no idea of her sexual bill of health - and that is the scariest part because she could be riddled with stds or have none (i can see it going either way with an escort of her type as she was not a street walker and did not appear to have any drug habits but she is also having sex for money...soooooo yea).

I have been doing a lot of reading, as everyone on here seems to do when they are concerned (and rightfully so) with STDs etc, and even though I have read a lot of reassuring scientific data to help put me at ease, it also seems like I find quite a bit of articles that seem to negate what i have read on here and medhelp (as well as some of the scholarly articles I read). 

I am going to get tested soon (I wish i read articles on this site first because i purchased the HIV RNA test already and am going at 7 days after exposure and having gonorrhea and chlamydia tests done as well - which sounds like I should have just waited but taking action seems to help) but I am still nervous and obviously will need to get tested again if I want true peace of mind.

I know you guys/gals will probably say that I am overreacting and that I did not have any risk...but I am just finding that really hard to believe based on all the conflicting things you read...and as much as i believe in science - shit happens sometimes and no one really can say why.

In short:
1. Do you guys/gals run across cases similar to mine frequently, unprotected oral on female, as described above?  and if so is it safe to assume they have not reported back on any hiv infections?  I guess the scientific articles would say no but that does not mean someone has not been the exception to the rule etc.

2.  Do i need to be concerned based on yours/others experiences and should I include any other tests?

3.  i know i was clean prior to this event as i was tested a while back and have only been with my gf and then the csw (once) since but should i abstain from being intimate with my gf?  I am totally for using protection but I am just very nervous and feel like a piece of shit for doing what I did let alone being near her after the fact when I am concerned with my sexual health.

4. Sorry this is so long - i dont have anyone that i feel comfortable talking with about this - and i have read enough conflicting material on the internet that I feel even more lost (and I know I need to focus on science and not everything else but it is extremely difficult to ignore especially when some are adamant about the dangers of oral [giving or receiving]).

Thanks in advance for the moral/scientific support...but something tells me I am going to be in some serious pain (mental/emotional) until I get tested and receive results).

[Jeff G]

1. Do you guys/gals run across cases similar to mine frequently, unprotected oral on female, as described above?  and if so is it safe to assume they have not reported back on any hiv infections?  I guess the scientific articles would say no but that does not mean someone has not been the exception to the rule etc.

We never ever see cases where cunnilingus leads to HIV infections because its not a risk . More on that in a bit .

2.  Do i need to be concerned based on yours/others experiences and should I include any other tests?

You did not have a risk for HIV in this incident and do not need to test for HIV . A test for other stds are a good idea .

3.  i know i was clean prior to this event as i was tested a while back and have only been with my gf and then the csw (once) since but should i abstain from being intimate with my gf?  I am totally for using protection but I am just very nervous and feel like a piece of shit for doing what I did let alone being near her after the fact when I am concerned with my sexual health.

You did not have an exposure to HIV so you need not worry about that aspect .


4. Sorry this is so long - i dont have anyone that i feel comfortable talking with about this - and i have read enough conflicting material on the internet that I feel even more lost (and I know I need to focus on science and not everything else but it is extremely difficult to ignore especially when some are adamant about the dangers of oral [giving or receiving]).

Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth -there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

[imanidiot1]

Hi Jeff,

I really appreciate the prompt reply (especially in my given state of emotional distraught).

There was no mention of the gash I had in my mouth.  I realize the other data you have provided would make this point moot but for the sake of my sanity is there any reason the cut in my mouth (with basically a 6-7 days worth of healing/scabbing etc) would put me at further risk?

I am sure a lot of this is guilt and anxiety, and I really am an ass for doing this and putting myself and my gf in a potential harmful position, but I just keep getting horrible thoughts swirling around. 

As a side note does this mean I can only post one more reply (not saying that I would but just curious).

Thanks Jeff and it really is amazing the kind of support and wealth of knowledge you guys/gals provide for total strangers when I am sure there are other things that the moderators/administrators could be doing for themselves.

Thanks again.

[Jeff G]

I read all of your concerns carefully and I am confident there was no risk for HIV ... it really is safe to move on now with your life .

And you are correct . You get 3 free questions . 

[imanidiot1]

Long story short - recently broke up with a long-term gf.  Got very drunk and was dumb enough to have sex with a csw (not a street walker but a prostitute none the less).

I have read through the forums over and over and I know there is probably "no concern" but I need to ask just in case.

I shaved the base of my penis an hour before the encounter.  Had unprotected oral for about 10 min then had protected vaginal sex for only a few minutes.  My concern is:

1. I currently have razor burn, do I need to be concerned about the vaginal intercourse?  This happened Sunday so I have time to take Prep or whatever if I need to (better safe then sorry).  We had sex in the shower and again it was brief but I am concerned that the razor burn could have been an opening for sti's. 

The feedback is appreciated and please let me know if I should go now to planned parenthood or something to get Prep.

Thanks again.

[Jeff G]

Please only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . You attempted to create another account today and if you try it again you will be permanently banned . You have used all of your free questions so rest assured I have read your concerns carefully before doing this assessment .

A razor burn is not cause for concern in the transmission of HIV for the same reasons I outlined in your early concerns ... The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

You had protected vaginal sex and that is not a risk for HIV, an intact condom means no HIV . Getting a BJ and cunnilingus is not a risk . The bottom line in all our assessments are if you cant accept you didn't have a risk you can test for peace of mind . You will test negative for HIV if this is your only concern . If you are going to worried sick every time you have sex you need to talk to your doctor and tell them you are suffering anxiety and illogical thoughts . Sex is supposed to be fun but it does not sound like its very much fun for you so do yourself a favor and get some help . YOU DO NOT NEED PEP