Revealing your status to a partner

[StuckKidd]

Hey!

It's me again! Thanks again for all your help!

So I've just started talking to this dude, its pretty new.
thinking about when and how to bring up my status?

Any tips.Advice?

[MrAlwaysAnxious]

Hi,

I hope you are well.

The person I am currently dating (we moved in together quite recently) knew about my status a few hours prior to our first date. I told him because I figured it was better to not waste my time on someone who could not see past three letters (HIV).

I recommend that you tell this person about your status when you feel comfortable (and also safe) doing so. I can almost certainly say that only you know when the time is right. However, remember that your time is valuable. If he cannot accept you, or see past those three letters, he does not deserve the love you have to offer.

I hope that helps.

[StuckKidd]

Hi yes! this helped a lot!

Did you call them or text them? like was in person?

I'm really nervous about having this conversation because we've been talking for a couple of days but connected instantly and I feel like it might too late to bring up.

Any tips on how you did it? like what did you say?
Sorry for all the questions - just really anxious about this.

[Jim Allen]

I can only share my experience and what works for me, keep in mind this will be different for everyone.

Generally, what works for me is doing it early on so I know where I stand, no point wasting time and I do it face-to-face. Do keep in mind once you disclose the person may have questions, so be prepared for that.

I'm very comfortable with myself so depending on the situation I would go with something like:

"Just so you know, I take medication for a very manageable condition, it's not a concern but I am living with HIV. "

Or

" Wanted to tell you something you may not know. I'm healthy but I do have a very manageable medical condition that means I have to take daily medication,  I am living with HIV. "

Whatever happens, don't just blurt it out and keep in mind you can't control how someone might react, just the delivery of the message.

I know poz.com have a lesson on this topic that includes the scenario about disclosing to potential dates https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/disclosure

Best Jim

[BKKKevin]

Also best to disclose before any physical contact (even kissing) as allows the person time to become accustomed and learn about it without any personal fears & misconceptions getting in the way of acceptance...

[StuckKidd]

UPDATE: Had the convo and it went well! Did it now before any kissing and other stuff so he can come to terms without fearing for himself. he really took the time to research so that was great advice!

Thanks guys!! Love you all!

[Jim Allen]

Glad to hear it went well 

[Genomity]

UPDATE: Had the convo and it went well! Did it now before any kissing and other stuff so he can come to terms without fearing for himself. he really took the time to research so that was great advice!

Thanks guys!! Love you all!

Hi, I'm glad it worked out for you.

I wonder how is it going now between you two?
Also I wonder if you can share how did you meet him? Online or?
What's interesting all about it is that when you browse online all guys have 'Negative" status....  If you met online was your status set as Poz or Neg?

[StuckKidd]

Hey!
It's going pretty well between us. It's hard to believe that I believed this part of life was unavailable for me.

We met online but not like a dating website. It was through social media. I don't really have my status up but neither did he.

[MadDog125]

Honestly I'm curious to know how it goes.  I had kinda planned on being a spinster for my remaining years. 

[harleymc]

Enquiring minds need to know whose partner/partners you are planning to reveal your HIV status too.

Do they play together or separately?