Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
January 27, 2023, 10:29:52 pm

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 767642
  • Total Topics: 65582
  • Online Today: 213
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 87
Total: 87

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Do I Have HIV?

Welcome to the "Do I Have HIV?" POZ forum.

This special section of the POZ forum is for individuals who have concerns about whether or not they are HIV positive. Individuals are permitted to post up to three questions or responses in this forum.

Ongoing participation in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum (posting more than three questions or responses) requires a paid subscription, with secure payments made via PayPal.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There is no charge to read threads in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the other POZ forums. In addition, the POZ Basics "HIV Transmission and Risks" and "HIV Testing" basics, will remain accessible to all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Do I Have HIV?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Fingering and Kissing  (Read 159 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline ImnotOK

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Fingering and Kissing
« on: January 24, 2023, 07:15:43 pm »
Im currently in a relationship with a guy who just recently been diagnose with HIV. He is not yet undetectable and we have decided to go for safer sex like masturbation and kissing. What are the chances of acquiring HIV through kissing if I have like 1 dot like wound on my gums (like poke by a tiny needle because of brushing). Sometimes we just pat our lips together and I have like wound on my lips (because of the cold weather I have dried chapped lips that causes red patches with like blood mark - very flat and faded).

One time while we decided to masturbate again, because of pleasure he decided to rim my anus (is licking the anus a risk?). And on the next day, while he is masturbating (he said there is no precum), the hand he used to masturbate in his penis is the same hands he use to finger my anus (with lubricant).

Which of the activities here are likely to cause infection? If there is a precum on his finger that time, is the probability of infection higher? I always thought that with or without the fluid, there are small traces of the virus around the penis or the shaft, that is why Im worried he just inserted those traces of virus on my anus.

I have Prep but not yet been using it for I thought all we did was safe. Thats why I decided if my next HIV test will be negative, I will now be taking Prep even if we will just masturbate, kiss or he again tends to finger my anus. An direct and honest assessment is appreciated.

Offline Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 20,176
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Fingering and Kissing
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2023, 07:23:48 pm »
Quote
Im currently in a relationship with a guy who just recently been diagnose with HIV. He is not yet undetectable

Did he get his diagnosis after or before the relationship had started? Did you have any other sexual activities with him, such as condomless intercourse or giving him a blowjob before the diagnosis and when did you last test?
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline ImnotOK

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Fingering and Kissing
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2023, 07:35:34 pm »
He has been on treatment for 5 months I think and he did gain a lot of weight ever since. But last year his CD4 count was still below 200, like 130, so we decided not to have his viral load check because its quite expensive and we are in doubt that he is still undetectable. There was no oral sex involve and not sexual intercourse, just kissing (very subtle but open mouth kissing), masturbating and he fingered be 1 time. But we are planning it once he is undetectable (I just hope this decision will not cause me acquiring the virus since I have a little doubt on it if it is really true that being undetectable mean the virus cant be passed on).

Offline Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 20,176
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Fingering and Kissing
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2023, 08:05:59 pm »
To start with, read both of your posts three times. Kissing, fingering, masturbation and rimming (anilingus) aren't HIV risks to you; nothing you mentioned changes that.

Quote
we are planning it once he is undetectable

The issue with that is he needs to have a suppressed viral load for six months first, and you have not measured his viral load yet, so you don't know if his meds are working and even if he measured the viral load next month, you don't know if it has then been suppressed for the six months yet or not.

What you need to know is if the person living with HIV has a suppressed viral load (below 200 copies) for six+ months and then continues to take their meds, they can not pass on HIV sexually. https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=71864.0

Quote
since I have a little doubt on it if it is really true that being undetectable mean the virus cant be passed on

There are 23+ years of scientific studies and evidence to back the above up and the swiss statement to confirm this was published 15 years ago and all evidence since has done nothing but confirm it.  There hasn't been a single case to disprove it, you will not be a first.

Now, of course,  I can't guarantee that your partner keeps taking their meds, and there is always the risk of other STIs.

Quote
Thats why I decided if my next HIV test will be negative,

Well if positive it's from a previous encounter or some other activity then the ones mentioned here.

Quote
An direct and honest assessment is appreciated.

Talk to your partner about your irrational fears, and work through them if possible together and get his viral load checked and repeat again six months later.

Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier-acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms; testing is the only way to know.

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the "Do I have HIV" Forum, you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post, which will take you here. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread, and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be removed.
 








« Last Edit: January 24, 2023, 11:47:17 pm by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2023 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.