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Author Topic: Probably fine, but panicking nonetheless, please help!  (Read 693 times)

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Offline Scottish123

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Probably fine, but panicking nonetheless, please help!
« on: November 02, 2021, 04:31:46 am »
In the early hours of Sunday morning I had a random hookup with a guy. Something I havenít done in years and donít want to be doing as I am in a relationship, but unfortunately I found myself very, very drunk and made a bad choice.

Back at his for around 30 mins, if that, I rimmed him (something ive never done), I Ďkindaí sucked him (more licked the tip of his penis to be honest), fingered him then he sucked me. He ejaculated onto himself and we were done. I was a little worried that a small, 24 hour-old cut on my fingertip may have touched his cum.
Then through all my panic yesterday I began to wonder if I had inserted my penis into his anus at any point and perhaps forgotten but considering I remembered everything else in detail Iím sure I would have remembered that, a consultant at the hospital I phoned yesterday suggested this before I did. It would also have been very much out of character for me to do this.

So despite calling my local sexual health clinic and being advised I should test for other STIs but not HIV, I cannot help worrying. Im in a real panic. The guy has blocked me on the Ďappí I used to find him, though I appreciate contacting him wonít necessarily do me any good. I suppose my paranoid has me wondering why he would block me but there could be many reasons for this.

To summarise, I will do my STI tests in 2 weeks but I am still incredibly worried about HIV. Should I take a HIV test at 6 weeks and would a negative test be accurate? When is it safe to resume sex with my current partner as I can only get away with abstaining for so long.

Thanks in advance

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Probably fine, but panicking nonetheless, please help!
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2021, 04:51:34 am »
Hiya,

Sounds like you feel bad/guilty and some unconscious bias is triggering this into irrational HIV fear.   

Look, fingering and touching his cum isn't an HIV risk, the condition of your finger is irrelevant. The same can be said for rimming and receiving a blowjob. As for giving a blowjob, it's such a minute HIV risk that we don't recommend testing outside of yearly routine and from what you posted it wasn't even that.

I see no HIV risk in what you posted about the encounter on Sunday.

Quote
When is it safe to resume sex with my current partner as I can only get away with abstaining for so long.

Well if you mean condomless sex you are out of luck, as nobody here is going to tell you that it's safe.

I'll just mention the same thing I do whenever anyone mentions being in a relationship. If you engage in condomless intercourse with your partner you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. Often within relationships, condomless sex is based on trust or past test results, however, this does not prevent HIV, and any condomless intercourse is accepting the greater risk of acquiring HIV.

Test more frequently for HIV & STI's if you do engage in any condomless intercourse.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as Ďsafeí in terms of HIV might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and, the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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Offline Scottish123

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Re: Probably fine, but panicking nonetheless, please help!
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2021, 05:03:49 am »
Thanks for such a quick response. I completely agree guilt is playing a big part here - I will admit this isnít my first worry about this sort of thing but I will be doing my best to make sure itís the last. I will do my best going forward not to worry about HIV, as you point out I need to realise what I did wasnít a risk

Regarding condomless sex with my partner, I am not worried about me acquiring anything from them, more about me passing anything on. We are (supposed to be) in a monogamous relationship and I donít worry that my partner has cheated on me. So I will have my STI tests at the 2 week mark, hope for negative results, then try to move on with my life without worrying about this.

Thanks again for your response.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Probably fine, but panicking nonetheless, please help!
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2021, 05:08:31 am »
You're welcome.

Quote
Regarding condomless sex with my partner, I am not worried about me acquiring anything from them, more about me passing anything on. We are (supposed to be) in a monogamous relationship and I donít worry that my partner has cheated on me

All I can do is point out the obvious risk to you and recommend testing more frequently.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Scottish123

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Re: Probably fine, but panicking nonetheless, please help!
« Reply #4 on: November 03, 2021, 08:20:35 am »
Hi again Jim. Been alone with my thoughts for a couple of days which is never good! Trying to take comfort in your replies and the fact I know I tested neg for chlamydia, gonohrrea and HIV not too long before Sundayís encounter and there were no other risks within that period (they were taken probably needlessly after I received oral over a month ago, but of course panicked as usual.

My local sex health clinic has arranged for a urine test for me for the 2 week point and has arranged a blood test for me for the 45 day point. They seem more concerned about Hepatitis from that point of view. I take it I should take some solace in that? All the details of the encounter I mentioned above are accurate, there may have been some touching of the penis to outside the anus or perhaps penis to penis during mutual masturbation but I am confident there was nothing else.

Sorry for going over old ground, my anxiety is horrendous.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Probably fine, but panicking nonetheless, please help!
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2021, 08:26:16 am »
Quote
I received oral over a month ago, but of course panicked as usual.

Quote
there may have been some touching of the penis to outside the anus or perhaps penis to penis during mutual masturbation but I am confident there was nothing else.

Quote
my anxiety is horrendous.

Receiving a blowjob wasn't an HIV risk to you whatsoever, neither is touching the outside of their anus. So far, the only thing you have mentioned that could be an HIV risk to you is if you are having condomless sex with your partner and we have discussed that already.

Regarding the anxiety, before it gets worse you really should consider getting some professional support.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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