POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Maelrod on February 15, 2011, 04:25:00 pm
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I'm so happy for my Bf, he tested neg after 6 months but I'm sad cuz I decided quit our relationship of almost 6 years, I'm sure I love him, and my pos situation is a high risk for him . so just wanna share with you guys what's going on . His been a big support for me, a nice guy, beautiful person but my poz status make me leave him free...
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That is fantastic that your boyfriend tested negative!
That said, I would never have ended my relationship with my partner due to a virus but your situation may be different.
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I decided quit our relationship of almost 6 years, I'm sure I love him, and my pos situation is a high risk for him . so just wanna share with you guys what's going on . His been a big support for me, a nice guy, beautiful person but my poz status make me leave him free...
I am so happy that your partner has tested negative, but sad to hear that you have decided to leave him over your infection. As hard as it is, coping with becoming positive, I cannot fathom dumping a partner of over six years, just because I became poz. I went through that once, with a negative man, who stood by me, for me and would not be pushed away over some illness. Maybe you could give it some time, to think about both of your reactions, before you just walk away... because something kept you together for all those years.
A loving relationship can weather almost any storm, for me, I would hate to just walk away, not knowing if through some adjustments, we could still be together. Love is very hard to find and even harder to keep.
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It's No easy leave him, but going be harder if any day he turn poz just because me, I been praying all those time before just for him,
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1. Does he not get a chance to have a view?
2. Are there not condoms?
3. Nuff said, if this is the way it is to be, and respect
- matt
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Thats not only really sad, but also seems a little cruel and selfish.
Doesn't he love you? Aren't you doing the same thing to him - defining your relationship based on HIV - that so many of us have endured? How is it better to break someone's heart when protecting yourselves from HIV is so easy?
I have had several long term relationships with HIV negative guys in my 20 year dance with HIV. No one was infected, and all it took was condoms for anal sex. Period. We caught colds and the flu together, I ended up in the hospital a few times, we went skydiving and hiking (including a brutal fall with loads of blood) and no one was infected with HIV.
I mean, I am glad for your personal health, and the fact that your BF tested negative. But to leave him only because you are afraid that a condom will break, or that you or he won't use one, seems to be a mean thing to do, to all involved.
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OMG, you would dump him over HIV? :o
All I can say is if HIV is the ONLY reason, not just an excuse to leave him, get some condoms, get on meds and get your VL undetectable and you well never transmit it to him... It's really that easy.
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i say dont let stupid hiv win another battle.
id be lost without my neg bf.he has gotten me through this stuff. he has been my rock.
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Hey Maelrod ,
I have been with my husband for 32 years !
I was Positive BEFORE we were together .
Two years ago July Bob Proposed to me when Connecticut legalized marriage !
My life has been wonderful .
There have been times of severe distress , on both parties !
But we have stuck together !
I love my husband more than life itself !
I pray we have many many more years together .
I am lucky , I have Never really been sick !
Bob Has had heart surgery . A Triple bypass , An Aortic aneurysm this past spring !
Two Major Heart attacks after the bypass !
He just had more eye surgery for a detached retina .
Everynight I thank GOD for my Bob and Every morning I thank GOD to be alive :)
Things are not so easy . But life is good ;)
Carl
P.S. : My BOB is NOT HIV POS. Only GOD knows why that would be ,I just except it :-*
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I have been with my husband for 32 years !
I was Positive BEFORE we were together .
I think it is truly wonderful that you have had a long and happy partnership with someone who has accepted your status while he has remained negative.
However, the maths simply don't compute.
I don't know whether that is simply a typographic error on your part (did you really mean 22 years?) but what we now know as 'HIV' wasn't even discovered until 27 years ago at most, and testing was not generally available until barely 25 years ago, if that.
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I think it is truly wonderful that you have had a long and happy partnership with someone who has accepted your status while he has remained negative.
However, the maths simply don't compute.
I don't know whether that is simply a typographic error on your part (did you really mean 22 years?) but what we now know as 'HIV' wasn't even discovered until 27 years ago at most, and testing was not generally available until barely 25 years ago, if that.
Are you serious here? The CDC first reported, what would become known as AIDS in 1981 -- that means people were infected with HIV many years prior to that. So someone could very easily have been infected with HIV more than 32 years ago -- whether they knew it at the time or whether it had a "name". Perhaps you should read up on the virus and it's history.
I think you have alot of nerve coming in here and questioning the veracity of someone's story.
Mike
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I was a slow progressor, or a longtime non-progressor who finally progressed, and didn't achieve a (sudden) AIDS diagnosis until 2001, when I presented with KS. Prior to that I had no ill effects or OIs. However, I always knew that the last time I had done anything to acquire HIV had to be in 1982. The Aaron Diamond AIDS Research Center in NYC was interested in studying slow and non- progressors, and I volunteered. They confirmed, by a mysterious blood analysis, that my HIV had been acquired no later than twenty years previously.
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I was a slow progressor, or a longtime non-progressor who finally progressed, and didn't achieve a (sudden) AIDS diagnosis until 2001, when I presented with KS. Prior to that I had no ill effects or OIs. However, I always knew that the last time I had done anything to acquire HIV had to be in 1982. The Aaron Diamond AIDS Research Center in NYC was interested in studying slow and non- progressors, and I volunteered. They confirmed, by a mysterious blood analysis, that my HIV had been acquired no later than twenty years previously.
Mysterious as in being completely unverifiable scientifically. I think you'll find any competent HIV specialist would roll their eyes at that. Just as many of them also tore apart ADARC's David Ho for his painfully flawed research on triple combination therapy.
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Mysterious as in being completely unverifiable scientifically. I think you'll find any competent HIV specialist would roll their eyes at that. Just as many of them also tore apart ADARC's David Ho for his painfully flawed research on triple combination therapy.
If this is really how you feel, then either stop your meds, if taking them, or avoid them forever and come back with a report on your "mortality" a few years down the road.
Your ilk pop in here from time to time, but don't last long because our Mods are smart and can spot puppets and denialists pretty quickly. you've been here 3 days, let's see if you make another 3.
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Perhaps you should read up on the virus and it's history.
I think you have alot of nerve coming in here and questioning the veracity of someone's story.
Mike
mmm well I was there and living it, brother.
I was sitting in the office of Dr Joseph Sonnabend (know him, know the history???) in NYC in 1982 with my then partner, when you had barely got out of your teens.
I was not questioning the veracity of the OP (what's it got to do with you anyway?) but questioning something that could not have been known. Now 'It was *possible* that I was poz 32 years ago', is possible.
But then the OP could just as easily have typed 32 by mistake - let's wait and see.
Don't go down the road of questioning someone's knowledge credentials - it makes you look a bit premature.
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If this is really how you feel, then either stop your meds, if taking them, or avoid them forever and come back with a report on your "mortality" a few years down the road.
Your ilk pop in here from time to time, but don't last long because our Mods are smart and can spot puppets and denialists pretty quickly. you've been here 3 days, let's see if you make another 3.
Wow, what a long tortuous road to coming to the wrong conclusion!
I don't deny 'AIDS' - I have seen too many of my friends ill with it and die from it.
I don't deny 'HIV' exists or I wouldn't be on the meds.
I don't deny ARVs keep many of us alive.
I just don't happen to think it is as black and white as some think, and that HAART is not the long term answer - it is a 'holding' position until we find much more successful ways of dealing with it.
And I didn't shut my brain down the day I tested poz nor the day I started on meds.
Posting to people in a manner like this is frankly reminiscent of Stalinist countries - do what we say, think as we think, and don't utter a single word we don't agree with or else.....
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I just don't happen to think it is as black and white as some think, and that HAART is not the long term answer - it is a 'holding' position until we find much more successful ways of dealing with it.
And I didn't shut my brain down the day I tested poz nor the day I started on meds.
To exemplify that my mind is not closed and that I am not biased, I agree with what you said in regards to hoping for much more successful ways of dealing with HIV other than HAART --- a cure would be great (I could live with that)
Of course, my agreeing with the above is probably a mute point as I have been told that I am functioning with a third grade mentality --- so, I agree as much as any third grader possibly can.
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Taking things out of context, finding anything to disagree with - and in a mean-spirited and often quite accusatory, bad motivation-seeking, frankly ridiculous way - is not what inspires me, and I have seen a lot of that here but from just a small group of people.
Taking a broader picture, and seeing things in the whole and not a bunker-like mentality is what I see in others posting here, and that is the positive I see, not the negatives that abound on any forum when issues are so emotive.
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Wow, what a long tortuous road to coming to the wrong conclusion!
I don't deny 'AIDS' - I have seen too many of my friends ill with it and die from it.
I don't deny 'HIV' exists or I wouldn't be on the meds.
I don't deny ARVs keep many of us alive.
I just don't happen to think it is as black and white as some think, and that HAART is not the long term answer - it is a 'holding' position until we find much more successful ways of dealing with it.
And I didn't shut my brain down the day I tested poz nor the day I started on meds.
Posting to people in a manner like this is frankly reminiscent of Stalinist countries - do what we say, think as we think, and don't utter a single word we don't agree with or else.....
No sweetie -- save me your passive-aggressive bullshit. I've raised a daughter through her teenage years and you can't come close to what she dished out.
When I look at the totality of your posts, it is clear that you have a great disdain for the "medical establishment", yet you love pulling out names of folks you "know". Knowing someone does not pass knowledge onto you. You have stated elsewhere that ARVs don't save lives -- yet you say here that they are keeping you alive. So which is it? Yeah, yeah, you are now going to say that it is only prolonging life and HIV may get us all in the end -- true, but you can go pick your nits elsewhere. ARV's save lives - many folks responding to you here would be dead today without them (myself included, most likely) -- therefore -- the saved my life. None of us get out of here alive -- it's a fact.
Now -- spare me any future lectures -- you may be a couple years older, but your posts certainly don't match your age. Of course, that assumes that you are being truthful on here -- which I have my doubts about. It seems odd that someone with your "experience" would have only found this forum and decided to participate at this point -- no, me thinks something smells rotten in Denmark.
Mike
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I hear what you say. Good luck :)
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Folks, I already locked one thread a little earlier today.
Let's get back on subject here and without snarkiness, please.
Thanks for your cooperation with this request.