hi everyone

[ladybleu]

hello all ... just introducing myself, i haven't really participated in these forums before although i have looked on here for information and just to know other women are out there, in the past!  i tested positive a few years ago and am doing pretty well in general.  but i have a question for other poz women out there - i'm in a new relationship with a negative guy who doesn't consistently use a condom though he knows my HIV status.  i'm on meds and undetectable, and i know it's less likely for women to transmit to men anyway but it does freak me out sometimes.  how do other folks handle this?  also are there women out there using other forms of birth control than condoms with HIV meds?  and if so, what are you using and how is it working for you? 

[BT65]

Hi ladybleu,

I just wanted to welcome you to our little women's circle.  It's a good bunch here.  You just ask away.

I used to be in a relationship with a guy who's neg and who wouldn't wear a condom.  But I had my tubes tied years ago.  He never did test positive.  I'm not recommending it, I'm just telling you my experience.  Hopefully some other ladies will jump in here.

I invite you to join us in the "ladies thread."  It's where we talk about our daily lives, struggles, little triumphs, and general stuff.  The ladies here are very supportive, and try to help out any way we can.  Again, welcome.
  Luv,
Betty

[ladybleu]

hi Betty, thanks so much for the response and for your welcome.  i will try posting in the ladies thread.  i would love to hear perspectives from others on this.  sometimes i feel like i must be the only HIV-positive woman having unprotected sex with a neg man - i never hear anyone else talk about it.

[mpositive]

 Hi, I just happened upon your posting and well, tell your partner, he can most certainly contract HIV from you.  I contracted HIV from unprotected sex with a woman.  Never in a million years did I think it could happen.  Although my doctor says it is most likely from the actual intercourse, I often wonder if it was from the oral sex.  Me going down on her.  Anyhow, just a word from one who experienced it.

M

[BT65]

Ladybleu,

Please don't think just because of mpositive's post that we have men posting in this forum all the time.  Most men have the courtesy to stay out of our area.  Hopefully mpositive got the message.  But, continue to post and ask questions. 

[27years]

Welcome to the ladies forums, I have an implant for contraceptive, haven't had any problems with it, you might need to check with your Dr on that as some contraception might not be as effective because of the medication.  As for sex, I have had unprotected oral sex in the past with neg partner and he was ok with the risk involved.  As long as you have told him that is what is important, whatever risks he wants to take i think that his personal choice. 

[Ann]

Although my doctor says it is most likely from the actual intercourse, I often wonder if it was from the oral sex.  Me going down on her.

Going down on a woman is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Unprotected vaginal intercourse IS a risk for hiv infection, although it's much less likely to happen if the woman is on meds and has had an undetectable viral load for at least six months. For anal sex with the bottom being undetectable, the jury is still out as there have been no studies on this, only on vaginal and only with an eye to getting pregnant the old-fashioned way. Some couples are doing it this way, but they usually only have unprotected when the woman is likely to be ovulating.

Ann

[#1 mom]

I just wanted to say welcome to the site.