always confused`

[livinginfear]

so ive been on here before, but i forgot my username so i had to create a new account. anyways, im going to get help bc i seem to constantly obsessing over my fear of HIV contraction. The other day i was deep kissing this guy and i had a cold sore in my mouth. ever since i have had a sore throat. is there anyway i could have contracted HIV? i didnt taste any blood or anything in his mouth, i think he was clean...please help..

[Andy Velez]

If you have been in this Forum before then you should have learned by now that using the term "clean" in relation to someone's HIV status is insulting and insensitive.

As far as this kissing episode is concerned you were not at risk for HIV in anyway. Read the lesson on transmission which gives you all the basics about the subject. You can find a link to it in the first thread in this section.

There's no need for testing nor for further concern about this recent incident.

[Ann]

Living,

I totally agree with everything Andy has said to you. Hiv is not an issue here in the slightest.

However, you should not be kissing anyone when you have a cold sore in/on your mouth. "Cold sore" is another way of saying HERPES and you will spread your herpes to other people by allowing your cold sore to come into contact with any part of their body. Keep your herpes to yourself!

Ann

[livinginfear]

im very sorry for insulting you, as i am very new to this, i am not always politically correct, and i meant in no way to insult you, and for that i am sorry. on another note, i wanted to thank you so your reply. however, i am still confused, as i read on the CDC that deep kissing is a small risk. im just tryin to firgure out how i can know for sure that kissing is ok, bc i want to be happy, fun, and safe when kissing, but i get canker sores alot, and so afetr i am done kissing, i am afraid that i have gotten soemthing from them into my cankersore, like their blood or something. bc the next day i had a sore throat and i still do now 2 days later? what are the chances of me getting infected thru my cankersores, and has it ever happened before?? im sorry if i am being annoying...

[Ann]

living,

Saliva is not infectious where hiv is concerned, whether or not you have a sore in your mouth. The CDC is overly cautious and conservative.

But as I said, you should not be kissing people when you have sores in your mouth. You could give THEM something. You may also be more open to bacterial infections when you have sores in your mouth, but not hiv. Saliva is NOT infectious for hiv and it contains over a dozen different enzymes and proteins that actually destroy the outer covering of the hiv virus and make it unable to latch onto a new host. Saliva is NOT infectious.

You did not have a risk of hiv infection. Just stop kissing people when you have sores in your mouth, please!

Ann

[livinginfear]

ann,
 so i understand that saliva is not a carrier, but the only thing that worries me is maybe he was bleeding in his mouth and i did not notice, or somehow blood creeked in my sores. is that in anyway possible??

[RapidRod]

Get the help you need. You didn't have a risk.

[livinginfear]

ok, so im still trying to get over this fear, and its been a while since ive had had a panic attack, but i still just trying to figure out my risks. i keep hearin that youre only at risk if you have unprotected anal sex, but then i hear stories of people getting it without ever having sex. I have been seeing a guy for about 2 weeks now, and we have given eachother hand jobs, fingered eachother, and he put my penis in his mouth for about 10 seconds. are there any risks with those sexual acts. every site say something different. i always bite my nails, so im always scared that semen will get into a cut or something on my hand. also, is there any possibiity that the other guy could touch his pre-enjaculation on his penis before fingering me, bc then it cud still enter me without having sex right? i know this is alot, and i sound stupid and naive, but im trying to get as educated as possible. im sorry to bother you, i just always have these worries on my mind. any help would be great. thanks.

[milker]

hi living,

soon very experienced people will give you answers. I just want you to know that we're reading your post and you will have your answer soon

[Bucko]

Living-

There are two sexual means of transmission:

1) Having vaginal sex without a condom.
2) Having anal sex without a condom.

There is a slew of anecdotal evidence (stories told) but no real hard scientific evidence that giving blowjobs is somewhat risky. There is no risk to getting a blowjob.

You also understand, I hope, that in order for the virus to be transmitted sexually one of the parties involved must be HIV positive, right?

The only other means of transmitting the virus is by sharing IV needles used booting (injecting) drugs.

None of the activities you described puts you at any risk at all. I urge you to read our lessons page and get educated about sex and HIV, then have all the safe fun you like.

Brent
(Who promotes a sex-positive attitude)

[Andy Velez]

Bucko's given you the real deal about risks.

"I've been hearing stories" is not a good way to learn about HIV transmission. There is an endless supply of totally undocumented and unreliable "stories" out there. As he suggested, read the lessons about Transmission and Testing and you'll get the informaiton you need to know.

I'll also add there have been some reports of transmission via giving oral to the person giving oral, not to the person being sucked. However, through longterm studies of sero-discordant couples among whom there was lots of protected intercourse and lots of unprotected mutual oral, not a single sero-negative partner became infected.

So giving oral is something you have to decide about whether you are comfortable with doing that without a condom or not. Otherwise the other activities which you mentioned such as mutual masturbation (and concerns about nicks on fingers and such), are not activities which will put you at risk for transmission.

Unprotected intercourse, whether vaginal or anal, are the activities which are of concern and which can be effectively dealt with by consistently using latex condoms.

Cheers,

[Ann]

Living,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann

[livinginfear]

ok, so i have been dating this guy in ireland for about 4 weeks now, and his HIV status is unkown. Because of this i have been very cautious of what I do with him. The only thing i have done to him is jerk him off, but in return, he has given me at least 5 blowjobs Without me wearing a condom, 1 rimjob, and 1 fingering. I read the website, but still wasnt sure if these were risks. Am I at risk from recieving blowjobs or getting fingered or rimmed? I checked his hands and mouth before and there was no blood. PLease help me and explain, I really am so confused with how I will ever avoid getting infected. PLease respond. Thank you.

[Andy Velez]

First of all, please keep your comments and questions in this one thread. We've told you that before so please cooperate. Thanks.

Secondly, you've been around here long enough to know the basics about HIV risk. As long as you always use a condom for intercourse, you're covered literally and figuratively as far as HIV is concerned.

Maturbation, fingering, receiving a blowjob and other activities you've mentioned are not putting you at risk for HIV transmission. Re-read the lesson on transmission on this site. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

No need for testing nor for further concern as of now about HIV. However, I will mention that we suggest that anyone who's sexually active ought to get a full STD panel done regularly -- at least annually and every six months is even better. There are other STDs out there and some of them are much easier to acquire than HIV.

Cheers,