Hi…

[delilah07]

[i I have a job. It’s been a problem finding something I like while being around people who I think are nice. I found both in this job.
  My Mom passed away the ending of September. Her service is next Wednesday. I plan to fly out to see her one last time. My siblings will be there except for one.
My older half-sister. She is pulling one of her selfish stunts again where she thinks of only herself. She’s also an active addict.
 To much to go into about my older half-sister. I’ll just say we tried everything to help her. We gave up yesterday.
 At this moment I sit alone. Anyone I can talk with is at work or busy. My friends have been great. They have listened to me and I’m lucky to have them. My husband and daughter have been listening as well.
 Today is the day I tell my husband that I want to go to my Moms viewing. We just claimed bankruptcy last month. So we’re not wealthy. But I need to go. I need to see my Mom one last time. My sisters and I are going to dress my Mom. I’m kind of scared of this, but it’s just that we want to make sure she is dressed correctly.
 I miss my Mom. I argued so much with her when I grew up, when all I had to do was listen and learn. If I had I wouldn’t have been HIV positive.
 At times like this I used to call her. Now it’s about her and I can’t call. 
 My Mom was by my side through my HIV diagnosis. She taught me to care for myself again and again. She worried for me so I could smile and laugh. She hugged me through tears. I learned how to order my medication and talk with healthcare workers through her going through it with me.
 I wish she didn’t have such a painful few last years. She told me she prayed to God to be with my Dad again. But she was afraid to die, she was afraid of the pain coming back again.
 One day my Mom became unresponsive. The medical staff tried to revive her. Five minutes later they called my sister to say my Mom didn’t make it.
 When I received the call I couldn’t cry. I was hearing the news, but thinking on each word my sister had said to me. I finally told my daughter who began crying right away. I broke down because I could hardly get the words out to tell her. My daughter cried for three hours.
  Im weird. I usually feel nothing until I’m viewing the body. Then it all comes. The tears and last words. I wish I gave my Mom more hugs.
 
[/i]

[Jim Allen]

Sorry to hear that your mom passed away. Wishing you strength during this time.

[leatherman]

So sorry about your mother passing away.

I wish I gave my Mom more hugs.

to be honest, most people who lose a loved one think this same thing. We always wish we had shown them more love. I believe the best response of we, the people who are left behind, should be to remember this feeling of inadequacy and make sure to show even more love to the ones we still have with us. Try to make sure you don't feel like you did too little if/when you lose someone else.

[harleymc]

Sorry to hear about your loss.


 Take good time to be with your family, lots of hugs to you and them