Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 28, 2024, 09:11:54 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 772945
  • Total Topics: 66310
  • Online Today: 377
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 1
Guests: 353
Total: 354

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Stuggling  (Read 4678 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Pricho01

  • Member
  • Posts: 58
Stuggling
« on: December 01, 2013, 05:06:49 pm »
Hi I don't post on here a lot.... but I like to keep up with what people have to say...

I am finding that recently having HIV has "hit me" for the first time. The thing is I was diagnosed in 2005 and have always been able to get by.... and remain fairly positive.

Maybe its because I just hit 40...?

I am not sure but I feel so disappointed in myself and I am actually finding myself feeling scared about what the future will offer me as I age... how is it possible that my having HIV is now so scary??? almost 10 years later? Is this PTSD which I have read other people have struggled with??

I am also really lonely, I have had a few issues (mentally/addiction which has been resolved with meds and abstinence) and don't find making friends easy. I find myself sitting alone in my apartment most days, maybe I have too much time on my hands?

Does anyone else feel like this? What did you do to reduce the fear? Just venting I suppose... Not after sympathy, just a bit taken aback about why this is happening... fear is a horrible thing... Anyone?
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it! Sincerely, The Opportunist

Offline Dan0

  • Member
  • Posts: 577
Re: Stuggling
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2013, 05:33:20 pm »
The Big '40'! Honestly, I have more issues with being over 40 than being HIV positive. When you realize you now have more moisturizers in the bathroom cupboard than aspirin or you have to get bifocals, it stinks! Every hair replacement commercial you inadvertently find your hand on the back of your head without even thinking about it. That's what annoys me - but I also realize that it's inevitable.

The goal is to take as good of care of yourself now so that later on you (hopefully) won't have a rough go of it. I've met some great people at the gym and it certainly beats watch Law & Order re-runs!

Went through the same...getting older is a challenge!

« Last Edit: December 01, 2013, 05:37:26 pm by Dan0 »
"Honey, you should never ask advice from a drunk drag queen who has a show to do." - JG

06/2002 DX
10/2006 Atripla UD
10/2013 Stribild Still UD
04/2016 Genvoya UD

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 13,455
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Stuggling
« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2013, 11:34:30 pm »
Probably the 40 strikes you as a change in stage of life. I don't think the isolation is helping you at all.
Do you work? If not, are you able to work or what's the situation?  Getting out and contributing yourself to common projects, other people's needs, having that exchange, its very life affirming and helps with energy levels.
Work got me through rough patches, a gross breakup of a long-term relationship, losing friends because of that, then an HIV diagnosis, then some other shit, blah blah blah blah. There's always work and I know I can give something useful and get something back.  I know its not enough but its something. A routine, a mind change, a network of relationships that isn't that invasive...
If you can't work, then still, something like work, some kind of participation in a group that isn't necessarily friends, either. Some cause, etc. 
That's my suggestion.
40 is considered oldish for being a young person. Its considered quite young for being an old person.  You still got a lot of life in you and a lot to offer and a lot to receive.
If you do work and the question is about sitting at home afterwork or the weekends, maybe start a new project. Get a degree. Learn a language.  Do some creative project where you have to go out of the house.  Or do some volunteer work.  Coach a team. Whatever.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2013, 11:37:46 pm by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Dan0

  • Member
  • Posts: 577
Re: Stuggling
« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2013, 03:10:55 am »
How are you doing? I'm not certaint if you even have intenet/phone....if you do, please let us know. You're not alone.
"Honey, you should never ask advice from a drunk drag queen who has a show to do." - JG

06/2002 DX
10/2006 Atripla UD
10/2013 Stribild Still UD
04/2016 Genvoya UD

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,021
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Stuggling
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2013, 08:00:50 am »
Hello Pricho,

I understand your post. 

Mecch makes some very good suggestions. I am coming up on 29 years HIV positive and turned 60 this year and have done and am doing some of this things he listed (completed Masters degree, continue to work, do side interest gigs and mingle with a few family members and friends and just get out of the house).

Wishing you the best.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2024 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.