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Author Topic: FUCKING SHIT!!  (Read 29528 times)

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Offline CaptCarl

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  • Located in the Palinsville subdivision, JesusLand
FUCKING SHIT!!
« on: May 21, 2011, 10:37:40 pm »
Although I've not made it general information around here, it's time I shared this with you all. For the past few weeks, I've been getting sick a lot. A whole buch of random symptoms that occur sporadically, back pains, abdominal pains, headaches, the odd spot of projectile vomiting. The only consistent symptom has been a fever. Nothing too high, but running between 99.5 & 100.5. So with all of these things mixed together, I have been out of work for almost two weeks. Made a few trips to the Doc, as well as tests, blood work, x-rays, and a CT scan. I was finally feeling pretty good yesterday, even the fever seemed to be gone. I made plans to go to an Apocalypse Party today...


Then the phone rang. It was my doc, telling me that she had a partial read on the CT scan, and it showed a blood clot in my lung. She was doing the phone work to get me admitted to the hospital, and I needed to be there right away. So here I am. They started the treatment within an hour of my getting here, using Hepirin, a blood thinner. It will take a few days to to run the entire protocol, so I'm looking at being here 'til Wednesday. So far it's not too bad. But then my doc comes in to talk to me. She has the rest of the CT scan results, and they're not good. In fact, they're downright fucking ugly: There seems to be a "mass" in my liver. As most of you know, I had a liver transplant Twon and a half years ago for that very reason. Having it come back so quickly was a most unpleasant surprise. Adding to both the "unpleasant" as well as the "surprise" aspect is that there are also masses in my lung as well. Cancer is scary, been there, done that. But got through it. When cancer metasticizes, it goes from being scary to just being fucked....


The biopsy is scheduled for Monday morning, and will provide the dfinitive answer. Til then, nothing to do but wait.



Right now my biggest source of concern is for Norm. He has been through so much with my health issues for the last five years. I don't give a shit about me, but this is grossly unfair to him. I know this is hurting him very deeply, and there's nothing I can do about it, and it FUCKING PISSES ME OFF!!!


Thanks for letting me vent.



CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline leatherman

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2011, 10:44:06 pm »
My thoughts are with you, Carl  :-*
good luck with this treatment!
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline Jeff G

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2011, 10:54:39 pm »
Hi Carl . You are one of the people I admire greatly , your strength and honesty has been and will be an inspiration to me . I'm sorry for what you and Norm are dealing with and you both will be in my thoughts . 
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Offline WillyWump

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2011, 11:07:41 pm »
Hey  Buddy,

I'm taken aback by all this. I wished I could wave a wand and make everything OK. But keep your chin up for us.

I'll be sure and send up some thoughts and prayers for you and Norm when I lay my head down tonight.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline tednlou2

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2011, 11:58:20 pm »
I know there is nothing we can say to make this better, except that we care for you and Norm as a member of our group.  You know we'll all be sending positive thoughts your way that these "masses" aren't serious, and you'll be all better soon.  I can't even imagine and I'm heartened that you're more concerned for Norm.  Our partners and good family and friends are so awesome and often unsung heroes standing by us.  

All the best for a positive outcome!
« Last Edit: May 22, 2011, 12:00:28 am by tednlou2 »

Offline bocker3

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2011, 12:16:19 am »
Carl,

I'm so sorry to hear about your test results.  There isn't anything I can say to help, but know you're in my thoughts and here's hoping things take a better turn.

Hugs,
Mike

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2011, 12:36:18 am »
I hate that you are having to deal with this. It sucks and it is unfair. I wish you both strength and hope your test come back with some good results.

Ford

Offline northernguy

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2011, 01:03:44 am »
Hey Carl, I'm really sorry to hear you're having to go through this again.  What can I say, but I'm thinking of you, keep your chin up, and feel free to vent to us anytime.
Apr 28/06 cd4 600 vl 10,600 cd% 25
Nov 8/09 cd4 510 vl 49,5000 cd% 16
Jan 16/10 cd4 660 vl 54,309 cd% 16
Feb 17/10 Started Atripla
Mar 7/10 cd4 710 vl 1,076 cd% 21
Apr 18/10 cd4 920 vl 268 cd% 28
Jun 19/10 cd4 450 vl 60 cd% 25
Aug 15/10 cd4 680 vl 205 cd% 27
Apr 3/11 cd4 780 vl <40 cd% 30
Jul 17/11 cd4 960 vl <40 cd%33
April 15/12 cd4 1,010 vl <40 cd% 39
April 20/12 Switched to Viramune + Truvada
Aug 2/12 cd4 1040, vl <40, cd% 38
Oct 19 cd4 1,110 vl <40 cd% 41

Offline Raf

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2011, 01:08:02 am »
I can't find the right words...so I'll just say that my thoughts are with you carl.
Dx: 05/14/2008
Latest HIV Meds combo I've been taking:

Kaletra + Combivir (since 05/16/2008 - 05/09/2019)
Acriptega (05/10/2019 - today)

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2011, 01:35:43 am »
sending you positive energy and love. 
Jake

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2011, 02:33:35 am »
Oh Carl,

Matty the Damned sends you his love and support during this grim time.

:-*

MtD

Offline BT65

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2011, 04:49:51 am »
Carl, I don't know what else to say except this is fucked up stuff, and it sucks.  I'm keeping you and Norm with me in my thoughts and sending lots of love. :-*
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline Theyer

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2011, 05:23:59 am »
Dear Carl.
I am so sorry to read whats going on for you,
mhtv
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2011, 06:11:49 am »
Sorry to read this man.  Nothing I can type here will make it better, but please know I am sending you my best wishes and lots of positive energy.


Offline skeebo1969

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #14 on: May 22, 2011, 06:57:42 am »


   The Cap,


      Damn dude, this crap really blows.   I feel for both you and Norm... The two of you will be in my prayers.  Hang in there tough guy.

   Thomas
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline anniebc

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #15 on: May 22, 2011, 07:16:57 am »
Hey Captain, just wanted you to know that I'm thinkig of you, and to let you know that I need you and the your crew need's you, so I'll give you the same advise I give to the others when they are having a few health problems:

Do as you are friggin told
Don't back chat the nurses
If the Doc say's jump you ask "how high"
If the news is good then you will go out and celebrate
If it's not so good, then you take it like the amazing man you are.

You know your crew will be here for you, all you have to do is yell out...and remember, empathy is your pain in our hearts.

Aroha :-*
Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline wolfter

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #16 on: May 22, 2011, 07:47:07 am »
I don't have the correct words this morning.  If there is anything we can do, let us know. 
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline J.R.E.

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  • Positive since 1985, joined forums 12/03
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #17 on: May 22, 2011, 08:18:51 am »
Carl,

Sorry to hear you having to go through this.  Wishing you well and a speedy recovery.

Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune / Epzicom Eliquis, Diltiazem. Pravastatin 80mg, Ezetimibe. UPDATED 2/18/24
 Tested positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of Oct 2nd, 2023, Viral load Undetectable.
CD 4 @676 /  CD4 % @ 18 %
Lymphocytes,absolute-3815 (within range)


72 YEARS YOUNG

Offline karry

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #18 on: May 22, 2011, 10:01:05 am »
Hi Carl,
Sending you lots of good vibes and  virtual hugs. Wish you a speedy recovery.
Karry
Take it a day at a time....and be positive about it too!

Offline jb1973

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  • To thine ownself be true
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #19 on: May 22, 2011, 10:32:25 am »
Carl,
Being fairly new to the forums, I don't know many on here yet. But, I did want to tell you that I would be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts. Stay strong for not only Norm, but your friends family, and most of all yourself. Hugs.

JB
??Infected - 08-09??
3/3/11-tested POZ
3/18/11 - CD4-534 VL-6,600
6/24/11 - CD4-642 VL-10,800
10/11 - CD4-580 33% VL-9,900
1/12 - CD4-602 ?% VL-9,700
3/12 - CD4-552 27% VL=10,684
8/12 - cd4-550 24% VL=9.865
Started Isentress/Truvada
10/12- CD4-613 31% VL=UD

Offline Buckmark

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #20 on: May 22, 2011, 10:50:47 am »
Carl,

I am really, really sorry to hear this news.  I remember you talking here about your liver transplant, and I can't imagine how iit feels to be facing a similar situation again.  I am thinking of both you and Norm.

Hugs (from one motorcyclist to another!)

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline bear60

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #21 on: May 22, 2011, 11:15:03 am »
Big {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}
Thinking of you.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline sharkdiver

  • Member
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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #22 on: May 22, 2011, 11:49:06 am »
Hey Captain,

This is fucked up indeed!   My thoughts and love is with you.

Sharkie

Offline CaptCarl

  • Member
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  • Located in the Palinsville subdivision, JesusLand
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #23 on: May 22, 2011, 12:00:56 pm »
Thank you everyone. Been hanging in there so far, making calls, sending emails, and napping  in equal measures. Also been thinking about how to handle this if it is cancer, but I cannot make these decisions alone, Norm has to be in on it too. Meds keep me kinda fuzzy but what can you do? I kept looking wistfully out the window yesterday, looking towards the east. I was hoping to see Sandia Crest collapse most gracefully during the Apocalypse, thereby wiping out several Mega-churches, as well as entire neighborhoods of spoiled white rich folks. Any way, not too much to report at this time, other than the food is consisstently bad...

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline Joe K

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #24 on: May 22, 2011, 12:10:52 pm »
Hey Carl,

At times like these, I find myself at a loss for words. Just know that you and Norm are in my thoughts. Get well and stay strong.

Joe

Offline woodshere

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  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #25 on: May 22, 2011, 01:45:08 pm »
Hang in there Care!
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline phildinftlaudy

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  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #26 on: May 22, 2011, 01:49:56 pm »
Carl -
I'm sending positive thoughts and energy your way and also Norm's way -
Hoping that you are getting the best possible care and treatment.
If anyone can get through this with strength and perserverance it is you.
If there is anything you need on this end that I can be of assistance with, just give a shout.

-Phil (who is bummed out, about this, but also maintaining hope 'cause I know the type of person you are)
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline pozniceguy

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #27 on: May 22, 2011, 02:09:06 pm »
Hang in  there  Carl   you  can be  well again  there are  so  many people sending positive  energy  to  you including me...   now  id  when the  friends, partners and family  are more important than ever

Nick
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #28 on: May 22, 2011, 02:33:00 pm »
Carl, as I told you yesterday (by now I am probably sounding like a broken record), I am thinking of you and Norm and sending you mah best.  Luff ya and hope that you come back to us in the best of health very soon.  :-*
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline eric48

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #29 on: May 22, 2011, 05:22:30 pm »
leaves me wordless...

Hoping dearly you will go through this safely

Eric
NVP/ABC/3TC/... UD ; CD4 > 900; CD4/CD8 ~ 1.5   stock : 6 months (2013: FOTO= 5d. ON 2d. OFF ; 2014: Clin. Trial NCT02157311 = 4days ON, 3days OFF ; 2015: https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT02157311 ; 2016: use of granted patent US9101633, 3 days ON, 4days OFF; 2017: added TDF, so NVP/TDF/ABC/3TC, once weekly

Offline gemini20

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #30 on: May 22, 2011, 06:27:33 pm »
Dear Carl,

Thinking of you and your partner as you face up to yet another health challenge.

I truly hope that you both get all the love and support you need to cope with whatever comes your way over the coming days.

Sending positive energy and thoughts in your direction.

Best wishes,

Emma
Diagnosed 11th September 1991
Current CD4 count 484 (26%); viral load undetectable (December 2011).
Restarting boosted Prezista 08/04/11

LabRat

  • Guest
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #31 on: May 23, 2011, 09:57:09 am »
Carl,
So saddened to read about your health. Like the rest of the crew, you and Norm are in my thoughts and my prayers. I'll light a candle for you tonight.

Offline Basquo

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #32 on: May 23, 2011, 11:15:37 am »
Damn, Captain. I hope it's better than worse.

Offline Assurbanipal

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #33 on: May 23, 2011, 03:26:30 pm »
Would I knew what more to say that would offer comfort and support... but it says a lot about you, as a man, that your first concern is for your partner.  . .

5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%
2014 VL UD - 48
2015 VL 130 Moved to Triumeq

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #34 on: May 23, 2011, 10:43:59 pm »
Hello everyone. I thought I would give you all an update on how things are going here. There is a chance that the mass in the liver is not actually liver cancer per se, but rather a form of Lymphoma. Apparently, there are no markers in the bloodwork for the liver cancer, and lymphoma is a sometimes occurence for people with HIV who have had solid organ transplants. According to the transplant center wher I had my surgery, when this pops up, it has a very high fatality rate. Not quite as high as Liver cancer, but pretty far up there. So basically it has the potential to downgrade me from "Completely Fucked" to merely "Fucked"

They didn't get the biopsy done today, because the Interventional Radiation is run by a bunch of fucktards on crack. I went through this shit with them the first time I had cancer too. Bunch of arrogant assholes. So they re-scheduled me for noon tomorrow. If they pull this shit again, I'll probably get arrested. I'll let you know how it all comes out.

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #35 on: May 23, 2011, 10:47:19 pm »
Carl:

Sorry to chime in late, but I wasn't able to slip away from the rapture after party.  Anyway, I want to echo the sentiments that everyone else has expressed so far and say that I'm thinking of you and Norm.
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Biktarvy. 
Last regimen:  Atripla (with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline anniebc

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #36 on: May 23, 2011, 10:54:46 pm »
I have everything crossed, and hoping for the best possible result...and I will be watching this space tomorrow.

If they pull this shit again, I'll probably get arrested. I'll let you know how it all comes out.

CaptCarl

Have no fear Carl the Crew will be standing by to help you throw a few punches then bail you out... ;)

Aroha
Jan :-*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline aztecan

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #37 on: May 24, 2011, 09:15:40 am »
Carl, this just plain sucks.

Please let me know if there is anything you or Norm need. I am not that far away.

As for those idiots at interventional radiation to pull out their butt plugs and get to work.

I am sending you lots of energy.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline chocaholic

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #38 on: May 24, 2011, 09:27:22 am »
Im sorry you're going through that (((((((((((HUGS))))))))

Offline Theyer

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #39 on: May 24, 2011, 04:00:52 pm »
Thanks for keeping us regulary up=dated Carl, completely fucked to fucked I guess thats progress, I too hate it when Hospitals employ dim wits whose empathy is on a par with crack heads. Good luck tomorrow
Theyer
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline weasel

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #40 on: May 24, 2011, 04:56:07 pm »


               Hi Carl ,
                           My prayers go out to you .

                                                Speechless .................

                                                 Carl  , your DeSoto pal
" Live and let Live "

Offline RAB

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #41 on: May 25, 2011, 03:53:28 pm »
Hi Capt.

Did you get your biopsy done yesterday?

I'm just sick about what you're going through and dealing with. 

RAB

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #42 on: May 25, 2011, 03:58:25 pm »
Yes, it was done yesterday (though that is all I know). He said it was pain-free this time.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #43 on: May 26, 2011, 04:26:21 am »
Hey everyone. I had th biopsy done on Tuesday morning. I requested, and received, 2mg of attivan to keep me calm. Which combined with the drugs they gave me @ IR made it an almost pleasant experience. This time around, they went right through the front, rather than through the back, Hey took six samples altogether. There was a bit of discomfort nvolved, but nothing that could have been considered painful. I was pretty out of it for the rest of the day. Should have the result later today (Thursday).

Been busy trying to get things in order. Have an attorney coming later to day to do a Transfer of Deed on Death, so that the house and property reverts to Norm without having to go through probate or any of that Bullshit. The local ASO is helping with this, as well as other paperwork we need to get in order at this point.

At this point, I just want to go home to my little doublewide in the mountains, and be with Norm and the dogs.

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #44 on: May 26, 2011, 05:03:37 am »
Hey everyone. I had th biopsy done on Tuesday morning. I requested, and received, 2mg of attivan to keep me calm. Which combined with the drugs they gave me @ IR made it an almost pleasant experience. This time around, they went right through the front, rather than through the back, Hey took six samples altogether. There was a bit of discomfort nvolved, but nothing that could have been considered painful. I was pretty out of it for the rest of the day. Should have the result later today (Thursday).

Been busy trying to get things in order. Have an attorney coming later to day to do a Transfer of Deed on Death, so that the house and property reverts to Norm without having to go through probate or any of that Bullshit. The local ASO is helping with this, as well as other paperwork we need to get in order at this point.

At this point, I just want to go home to my little doublewide in the mountains, and be with Norm and the dogs.

CaptCarl

Mon Capitan,

You are constantly in my thoughts.

Enid's too. :)

MtD

Offline Theyer

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #45 on: May 26, 2011, 05:15:41 am »
I am glad the biopsy went as it did and hope that going home with Norm  to the dogs and the mountain comes soon,
with best wishes to all off you
mhtv
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline wolfter

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #46 on: May 26, 2011, 07:11:25 am »
Good morning.  Sounds like you're handling everything well and I wish you the best.

Take care of yourself.

Greg
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #47 on: May 26, 2011, 07:54:41 am »



    Cap, I hope you get to your desired place soon, with Norm and the dogs surrounded with love.

           Wishing you the best during this very difficult time...

           Thomas
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #48 on: May 26, 2011, 11:39:51 am »
Enid's too. :)

Did you show ol' Enid the pictar of my enormous horsey-cock I sent you for Christmans last year?

On a more serious note. The docs left a few minutes ago. They had the results of the biopsy. It is the liver cancer after all. It's too big to remove by surgery. Oncologist to be arriving later today to discuss "options" whatever they might be.

Carl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline thunter34

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #49 on: May 26, 2011, 11:55:22 am »

On a more serious note. The docs left a few minutes ago. They had the results of the biopsy. It is the liver cancer after all. It's too big to remove by surgery. Oncologist to be arriving later today to discuss "options" whatever they might be.

Carl


 :-\   (Can't think of words.)
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline woodshere

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #50 on: May 26, 2011, 11:59:04 am »
Oh I am so very sorry to hear this!  Thinking of you as always.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #51 on: May 26, 2011, 12:12:12 pm »
ugh Carlita, I didn't want to hear that (for your sake). "thinking of you" is an understatement at this moment. How about "pissed off"?
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #52 on: May 26, 2011, 12:59:01 pm »
Carl, I'm overwhelmed by your courage. Thinking of you.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #53 on: May 26, 2011, 02:37:29 pm »
What terrible news. I hate you have to deal with this.

Offline Joe K

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #54 on: May 26, 2011, 02:40:22 pm »
Carl, what horrible news and my thoughts are with you and Norm.

Offline Buckmark

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #55 on: May 26, 2011, 03:19:44 pm »
Carl,

I am angry to hear this news, and so sorry that you have to go through all of this.  We're all thinking of you.

Henry

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline MarcoPoz

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #56 on: May 26, 2011, 03:51:30 pm »
Capt. Carl,

Thank you for keeping us informed.  Hang in there and focus on your options.  You've been through tough shit before and still showed support here for others.  You're a good man, Carl.  Hang tough.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #57 on: May 26, 2011, 03:54:21 pm »
Carl -
I am continuing to send positive energy your way -
And thanking you for taking the time to talk with me the other day -
You truly are the epitome of what it means to be a great human being.

I will be keeping you and Norm in my thoughts -

-Phil
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #58 on: May 26, 2011, 04:02:58 pm »
Carl,

I am just getting in from being away most of the day and reading the update here is heart wrenching.  Extremely sorry to hear that you are dealing with this. 

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #59 on: May 26, 2011, 04:09:33 pm »
Carl,

Well isn't this just shit on toast?  >:(

I love  you babe. :-*

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #60 on: May 26, 2011, 04:16:43 pm »
(((((Carl)))))

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #61 on: May 26, 2011, 04:25:12 pm »
(((((Carl)))))

Ditto to that.

Cap,  I have the utmost respect for you.  While I pray for solutions, I do know the dire situation you are in.  I do hope, once again, you get to go home soon to Norm, the dogs, and the things you cherish most.

With saddness in my heart,

Thomas
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #62 on: May 26, 2011, 04:58:07 pm »
Sending my love to you, Norm and the dogs.

You are wonderful and courageous man.

love you,
Sharkie

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #63 on: May 26, 2011, 05:01:33 pm »
Sending my love to you, Norm and the dogs.

You are wonderful and courageous man.


I just want to echo what Sharkie wrote - your courage in the face of this is amazing.  Please continue to  post, vent, etc.  Big Hug!

Offline WillyWump

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #64 on: May 26, 2011, 06:01:12 pm »
My thoughts are with you Carl.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline bocker3

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #65 on: May 26, 2011, 06:10:39 pm »
Carl,

So sorry to hear this news.  Sending positive thoughts to you.

You and Norm are in my thoughts.

Big Hugs.......

Mike

Offline anniebc

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #66 on: May 26, 2011, 06:47:33 pm »
FUCK,FUCK,FUCK..why do bad things happen to good guys while the arseholes of this world , and believe me I can think of a couple right now, get to walk around as if they were God and owned the Fucking world.

Love you and thinking of you, but can't trust myself to call right now, hugs to you and Norm.

Aroha always
Jan :'(

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline AlanBama

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #67 on: May 26, 2011, 07:22:05 pm »
Sending you much love and positive energy....

keeping you in my prayers.

Hugs, Alan  :'(
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #68 on: May 26, 2011, 09:13:30 pm »
 :'(

This is awful, Carl.

Sending you many hugs and much love.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #69 on: May 26, 2011, 09:26:30 pm »
Thanks for your outpouring of support everyone. It definitely does help to sustain me at this time. When the bad shit happens we frquently don't know what to say, and sometimes don't say anything fearing that our words will be ineffective in consoling out loved ones. Let me assure you, even when someone says "I am at a loss for words" That is enough. The feelings behind them come through. Never be afraid that your words are inadequate, they are not.

THe oncologists came by today and offered a partial ray of hope in the form of chemoembolization. They inject radioactive pellet things into the main artery that feeds the tumor, thus killing the tumor. It won't cure the cancer, but it will kill the tumor, thus buying some extra time. How much time is anbodies guess. They will also be biopsying the largest nodule in my lungs to get a better handle on that. They feel that there is a chance it could be a fungal infection

1st one who makes a "Fungus AmonGus" comment gets capped ;)

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline thunter34

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #70 on: May 26, 2011, 09:28:35 pm »
1st one who makes a "Fungus AmonGus" comment gets capped ;)

CaptCarl


Phooey.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #71 on: May 26, 2011, 10:32:56 pm »
I've been trying all night to come up with a sentimental fungus poem but so far no luck   :)

Carl - from South Florida to New Mexico - know that you are in my thoughts

I will try to give you a call tomorrow - I think my last call to you actually benefitted me more than it did you  --- that's just the type of person you are!

Now, back to the fungus poem writing.....

Oh - and love ya!!
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline anniebc

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #72 on: May 26, 2011, 11:18:56 pm »
No too good with the poetry..but I did find this.



It's a Micharrzae fungus...google it if you don't believe me.. ;)

Aroha always
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #73 on: May 26, 2011, 11:33:31 pm »
No too good with the poetry..but I did find this.



It's a Micharrzae fungus...google it if you don't believe me.. ;)

Aroha always
Jan :-*

Looks like a mummy with a hard-on .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #74 on: May 27, 2011, 12:02:38 am »
No too good with the poetry..but I did find this.



It's a Micharrzae fungus...google it if you don't believe me.. ;)

I think I had that type of fungus in me before --- ::)
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline anniebc

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #75 on: May 27, 2011, 12:08:42 am »
I think I had that type of fungus in me before --- ::)

I'm not touching this one.. (post that is)... :D

Aroha
 :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #76 on: May 27, 2011, 12:13:11 am »
I'm not touching this one.. (post that is)... :D

That's okay --- that means more for me!!!  ;)
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Theyer

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #77 on: May 27, 2011, 06:53:49 am »
Take good care Carl,,who would off thought that we,maybe I should say I,is wishing a fungal infection on you,mad ain,t it ? Hope you get a break to go with Norm to see the dogs in the mountains soon.
love
mhtv
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline +/-

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #78 on: May 27, 2011, 07:34:12 am »
Hope all turns for the better with you very soon. Take care of yourself.

Offline brenner

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #79 on: May 27, 2011, 07:57:13 am »
mushroom head....mmmmm...mushrooms.   

sorry, shouldnt be stoned and online....carl...thinking of you.  big big squeeze.
Feb 23. 2011  poz diagnosed
Feb 28.  cd4 257, vl 262400, %21
Mar 14.  start Atripla
May 18.  cd4 639, vl 690, %33
Aug 19.  cd4 583, vl 60, %38
Nov 18.  cd4 450, vl UD, %38
2012
Feb.19   cd4 649, vl UD, %35
Jun 08.  cd4 524, vl UD, %34
Sep 16.  cd4 567, vl UD, %35
Dec 02.  cd4 592, vl UD, %35
2013
Mar 10.  cd4 688, vl UD, %35

Offline Jody

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #80 on: May 27, 2011, 09:18:23 am »
Dear Carl, sorry for all the trials and tribulations you and Norm have endured.  Keep your spirits up (easier said than done I know) and we will all hope for the very best for you.

Hugs from NY, Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline Assurbanipal

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #81 on: May 27, 2011, 03:50:44 pm »
Wishing you strength.... and time -- time with those you love and those who love you --time with Norm, time with the dogs, time at home...
5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%
2014 VL UD - 48
2015 VL 130 Moved to Triumeq

Offline camille07

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #82 on: May 27, 2011, 06:12:57 pm »
Carl- 

I'm so sorry to read this.  Just awful~

You're in my prayers. 

Hugs, 

Camms

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #83 on: May 28, 2011, 02:05:26 am »
Did you show ol' Enid the pictar of my enormous horsey-cock I sent you for Christmans last year?

On a more serious note. The docs left a few minutes ago. They had the results of the biopsy. It is the liver cancer after all. It's too big to remove by surgery. Oncologist to be arriving later today to discuss "options" whatever they might be.

Carl

Sorry to hear this carl, you had a liver transplant, right?  Is this common?  I'm really unfamiliar with your history.

Offline spacebarsux

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #84 on: May 28, 2011, 03:05:41 am »
Best wishes to you during this difficult time.
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline 47DegreesNorth

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #85 on: May 28, 2011, 03:32:20 am »
I'm sending positive thoughts your way from Seattle, I'm so sorry to hear about these troubles Carl :(

Offline Snowangel

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #86 on: May 28, 2011, 08:19:59 am »
Capt-
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.  My thoughts are with you and Norm. 
With love and peace,
Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Cliff

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #87 on: May 28, 2011, 11:38:31 am »
Carl, this is terrible.   :'(  I hate you're going through this. 

Offline OneTampa

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #88 on: May 28, 2011, 01:20:39 pm »
My thoughts are with you.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #89 on: May 28, 2011, 01:57:00 pm »
Mine's are too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

Off Crystal Meth since May 13, 2013.  In recovery with 20 months clean time.

Offline thunter34

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #90 on: May 28, 2011, 09:06:22 pm »
You weren't available for chatting earlier, so I drew you a picture!






(Not much of an artist, I know.)
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline denb45

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #91 on: May 28, 2011, 11:34:28 pm »
Carl  ??? SHIT  :'(  I hope that bob & my visit @  the Hosp. helped bring you some comfort the other day, I'm @ a loss for words, as I read this thread , stay strong my man, tell norm to call us, and you don't EVER give up ok, do that for me please, Bob & I love you very much....I'm @ a loss for words right now....I can hardley type any of thissss.../
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline leatherman

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #92 on: May 28, 2011, 11:45:58 pm »
thinking of you, Carl. :-*
best wishes to you, and Norm, through this terrible time. :-*
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #93 on: May 29, 2011, 12:02:40 am »
Hello Everyone. Sorry I couldn't update any earlier, but things went to hell pretty quickly today. I felt pretty decent when I got up actually, but around noon or so, it was all over but the crying. Chest pains, and a fever that went up to 104.0F conspired to really fuck my shit up. It was successful too. Let me start at the beginning, so I don't jump around too much.

Yesterday, I was supposed to have had a procedure to kill the tumor in my liver. They unhooked the blood thinner at 6:00 am  in prep for this. There was also a no food or water fast for 12 hours before my my appt. time at noon. I had puked up lunch, and didn't even try dinner, so that I went considerably longer without food than water. They also had to infuse me with three bags of frozen plasma so that my blood would be thick enough to do the procedure safely.

I wound up waiting until 5:00 pm for my procedure... No fucking food for 32 hours, no water for close to 20 hours. When Norm questioned the stu pid fucking cow masquerading as a nurse, she told him that my INR was 7.5, and left the room. So Norm tried to get it out of her what the fuck thta was supposed to mean, but she ignored him. So went to the head of nursing and complained quite vocally. I woke uo about this time and saw that it was 4:15 in the afternoon. I melted down. It's a good thing that I cant breathe deeply or they would have have heard me clear up to Santa Fe. I called my ID doc on her personal phone and explained the situation in no uncertain terms what was going on. I told her that I would rip out my IVs and leave if I wasn't being worked on by 5:30. And I meant it. Norm kinda freaked and got the head nurse and brought her to my room. And I told her the same thing. Plus I gave her the backstory about my previous dealings with IR, which I will explain.

The first time I got diagnosed with cancer, the kind folks at IR would make appointments for my treatment, and then not treat me. I would be there for several hours past my sheduled appointment time, with IV tubes hooked up, and they would come in remove everything, and send me home. Never an explanation, never an apology. Ever once. This resulted in my going NINE FUCKING MONTHS WITHOUT TREATMENT!!! And whe they finally did, they did alcohol ablation, wherein they injected ethanol alcohol into my tumor. The pain was stunning, and Norm could hear me in the waiting room. The doc stopped after only 5 mg ( I was supposed to get 30 mg) and basically called me a wimp for not tolerating the pain. He had Norm come in and help me get dressed and sent us home. Before walking out of the room , he looked down at me then at Norm and told him that I wasn't going to make it, and to get ready for it. Then walked out.

So when I realized t how long i was waiting yesterday, I freaked because of seeing this as a continuation of an earlier pattern. The head nurse was quite angry about all of it, and dressed my nurse down pretty good, plus wanting to know why I hadn't been put on an IV drip of hydrating fluids. The cow bleated and mooed in protest, but it fell on deaf ears. Head Nurse then went to the phone and started making calls. The chief oncologist came, I told him the story. He got me down there within 10 minutes, telling me to share the entire story with the IR staff, which I did. They were very good to me there, and took the time to explain that the INR level had to be at least a 2.0 to perform the procedure safely. I was back in my room by 6:45.

The oncologist who has been in charge of my treatment came to see me this morning. She asked me when the plasma transfusion was started and finished. I told her that it was started at about 10:45 am and finished around 1:15. She got a look of pure rage, because she had left orders for it to be started at 7:00 am, so that the levels were high enough when my appointment time came round. I also told her that the bags would run out, and not be changed for up to 40 minutes apart. Everything I went through yesterday, HAPPENED BECAUSE THAT STUPID FUCKING TWAT OF A NURSE COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO FOLLOW DOCTORS ORDERS

I believe that she has been terminated over the incident.

That's how my day went yesterday, todays 104 fevers were a walk through the tulips by comparison.

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline denb45

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #94 on: May 29, 2011, 12:27:31 am »
I fucking HATE UNMH, they were like this w/ bob during his heart-attack & triple by-pass-surgery back in 2002 and again in 2005, I see that fucking place hasn't changed much at all, Carl, I still have no words, forgive me, it's hard for me right now, I do understand your hospital delmila tho, bob & I send you out the very best, call me, if you need too, you know where to reach us if you need ANYTHING.......ok  :-*
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #95 on: May 29, 2011, 04:08:50 am »
This is absolutely awful.  There's nothing quite as frustrating as not having all the information about your own healthcare and being unable to interject when necessary to speed things along.  I'm so sorry all this is happening to you on top of everything else.

Offline Cliff

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #96 on: May 29, 2011, 04:28:04 am »
That's terrible.  I'm glad you continued to speak up for yourself and that there was some resolution (termination).  Hang in there, mister.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #97 on: May 29, 2011, 09:31:37 am »


   Cap,  It really irks me that on top of everything  you're being subjected to this kind of treatment.   I think that nurse found out quickly she messed up with the wrong dude, to bad...NOT.

   Hang in there tough guy.

     
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

 


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