Irishman Wants Job

[RapidRod]

An Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes
a little maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers,
represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Irishman says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to
draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks?
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the
Irishman.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the
same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture
that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to
represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and
dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire
this Irishman, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again,
but represent the number 100."
The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the
picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere
you go One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that
represents a hundred!"
The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each
tree and says, "A little dog come along and craps by each tree. So now you
got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd,
which makes one hundred."

[CaptCarl]

Rod,
   Thanks for the early morning laugh! A joke every morning is the BEST way to start the day

[Ann]

Two Oirishmen were driving around, looking for work. When they passed a sign saying "Tree Fellers wanted", Mick turned to Paddy and said:

"What a shame there's only two of us!"

[allopathicholistic]

  I wanna hear these "live", with the accent an everything 

[Just John]

Do you Guys realise how racist these jokes are?? ---- NO?

Oh well;

Paddy and Murphy were on a camping holiday in Florida when they spoted a guy shouting for help and struggling to escape from an alligators jaws.

Murphy turned to Paddy and said "Oh Bejeysus Paddy what should we do"??

Paddy said "let him struggle, serves the flash yankee bastard right for buying a Lacoste sleeping bag in the first place"!!