Risk after Oral w/o ejac & Penis to Penis contact. VERY swollen nodes.

[myname3]

I'm scared beyond all comprehension regarding a recent exposure. The line for me is still blurry regarding HIV and oral transmission. Doctors have quoted 1/1000, 1/2500, 1/5000, some website such as this one state is does happen but rarely, but the forums here say it doesn't happen. When people quote that it doesn't happen they post studies that were done between serodiscordant couples - which leads me to believe they were on meds and therefor had lower VL. So I'm not finding much reassurance. Regarding rubbing penises together, I've found little information at all.

- I performed oral on 2 occasions (hours apart, same partner)
- rubbed/massaged our penises together, independently as we kissed and by wrapping either my hand or his around them and masturbating as we kissed
- I'm cut, he's not
- May have shaved my pubic region on the morning or the days prior. Could have had shaving rash/shaving nicks?
- 23 days ago
- brushed my teeth at least 3-4 hours prior. Since eaten food and drank alcohol
- first instance <5 minutes
- second instance <10 minutes
- no ejaculation through oral or masturbation
- no precum from him (that I remember), if so it was little
- both drinking alcohol
- No ulcers or cuts in my mouth. Previously had VERY sore lips around this time, raw in parts. If I recall they had healed by this time
- Noticed a very slight inflammation above my front tooth,  don't believe this was present at the time. This isn't an 'open wound' - pressing a tissue against it does not draw blood. But it does seem aggravated. This was noticed 2.5 weeks after the encounter, I don't think it was present then

Since the event:

- felt fine until 14 days later. Swollen node on the front right jaw (I believe submandibular)
- 21 days later, (submandibular) nodes swelled more. Now visible without touch. Right jaw is completely swollen, unable to feel my jaw. Jawline now visible due to swelling, and I'm NOT skinny
- partner assured me he was 'fine', now admits to not having been tested in 6 months and has been traveling the world that time. Says he's been safe but I don't believe him
- no other symptoms I'm aware of, slightly sore throat on 2 separate days which disappeared within hours

Doctors have told me the risk is low, but not impossible. When I've asked have they witnessed conversion from only oral, they've said no. I'm unable to find anything else to explain my severe node swelling.

I had a test last Friday (21 days post exposure, 7 days since initial node swelling, day of extreme swelling) but won't have the results until this coming Wednesday/Thursday. I was tested for gonorrhoea (as an explanation for node swelling?) and HIV via AG and AB.

I've read that the submandibular nodes swell with gonorrhoea infections and that the epitrochlear nodes usually swell with HIV infection, and to my knowledge, the epitrochlear nodes are not swollen.

I had posted this Q on another websites forum, they've now closed the conversation BEFORE I added that we rubbed our penises together, hence registering here. I've been racking my brain and that's absolutely everything that occurred, apart from kissing which I know has me at 0 risk.

[Ann]

Name,

You haven't had a risk and you do not need further hiv testing.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[myname3]

Thank you for your response Ann, I was hoping to hear from you.

I am very switched on about what precautions I need to take to be safe, and much of that comes from reading your posts years ago.

Have you witnessed anyone having these symptoms (only a very swollen node in one area) and later being diagnosed with HIV; or indeed gonorrhoea and that being the responsible factor?

Was my research regarding which nodes swell correct in your experience?

How reliable could I consider this test, when the results return?

Thank you.

Thank you.

[myname3]

Name,

You haven't had a risk and you do not need further hiv testing.

Ann

Might I request that this thread be kept open until I am able to post conclusive - hopefully negative - results, to benefit both myself and others.

I'd also greatly appreciate the input of others on my Q's above re: gonorrhea and my lymph node swelling.

[jkinatl2]

Might I request that this thread be kept open until I am able to post conclusive - hopefully negative - results, to benefit both myself and others.

I'd also greatly appreciate the input of others on my Q's above re: gonorrhea and my lymph node swelling.

This thread will remain open, but you have used up your three free posts. You will have to buy a subscription to keep on posting.

As for others' input, you will find no deviation from Ann's advice. Those of us who are permitted to give risk assessment on this forum are all on the same page regarding HIV/STD transmission.