POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: DiamondsGlow on July 02, 2006, 03:24:02 pm

Title: Boyfriend claims I gave him HIV
Post by: DiamondsGlow on July 02, 2006, 03:24:02 pm
Well Wednesday I got a message out of the blue from an EX boyfriend who I have not seen in like two years and he claims I gave him HIV.

I went and got tested Thursday and will not get the results till Monday but am trying to stay calm and my doctor even said she does not think I have it.

The only way I could of got it is from my sons dad who was in the military and I would of been informed if he had HIV and I was tested while pregnant and my test was negative and my son was tested when born and he was negative.

My doctor was telling me that it shows up within 13 weeks to 6 months of exposure and if your test comes back negative at 6 months you likely do not have it.

My ex boyfriend entered boot camp 9 months after we split and they gave him a physical which included a HIV test and it came back negative and then he got another physical that included an HIV test when he joined the military and it came back negative. Their is no way he would of made it past two HIV test without it showing up especially when both the test were done over 6 months after we split, he had to of got it after he entered the military or boot camp or right before.

I know he has dated other girls since me and from what he told me he is engaged and my parents and doctor said they believe he is assuming I gave him HIV because I do have herpes and because of it he assumes I gave him HIV.

I am very sure they are going to tell me that my test is negative but still here and their I think what if it comes back positive and it scares me to death. :'(

Am I just worrying myself for nothing?
Title: Re: Boyfriend claims I gave him HIV
Post by: DingoBoi on July 02, 2006, 06:24:23 pm
polls are not to be used to do risk assessment and shouldn't be used in this forum at all.

This is not something that is voted on.
Title: Re: Boyfriend claims I gave him HIV
Post by: DiamondsGlow on July 02, 2006, 06:54:02 pm
This has been veiwed 71 times and only one person answered who posted none useful information and was being an ass.

Well posting on here was a waste of my time
Title: Re: Boyfriend claims I gave him HIV
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 02, 2006, 06:55:58 pm
Diamond,

We don't owe you anything, so drop the attitude. We do this for free. You WOULD have gotten responses (depsite the fact you posted a poll) in due time. I fancy after your latest hissy-fit, no one will bother at all.

MtD
Title: Re: Boyfriend claims I gave him HIV
Post by: jkinatl2 on July 02, 2006, 07:00:20 pm
not your monkey.

Your poll indicated that you were not being serious. Your attitude confirms that. Get a test if you are concerned, and especially if you have never gotten a test before.

Title: Re: Boyfriend claims I gave him HIV
Post by: Andy Velez on July 02, 2006, 10:10:08 pm
I don't know what the references to a poll are about, Diamond. Oh never mind, I see it above now.

I'm going to skip that since it makes no sense whatsoever and has no place here.

What is not clear from what you have written is when you took and HIV test in relation to the last time you had unprotected intercourse. Actually even the matter of whether your ex-boyfriend is actually HIV positive is not absolute.

The bottom line is that you need to get tested if you had unprotected intercourse outside of a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners tested negative together at an appropriate time, meaning at 13 weeks past the most recent unprotected intercourse. Your doctor is out of date about the six months waiting period. The CDC, which is quite conservative about such things, recommends testing at 13 weeks for definitive result.

Additionally, unless you are in the kind of relationship I described above you should make sure any guy you are with is wearing a latex condom everytime you intercourse. No exceptions, no matter what you think you know about his history or what he says or how great he looks. A condom is a must everytime.

Please clarify if there is something I am missing here.

Good luck on your test.
Title: Re: Boyfriend claims I gave him HIV
Post by: Sae on July 02, 2006, 11:20:06 pm
I find a few things confusing. 

If you tested conclusively negative during pregnancy, why would they test your child?  That seems odd.  I am aware that HIV tests, at least in Canada are done on all pregnant women, but not normally the child if the mother's test was negative, that makes it redundant.   But...ok.

You will have to wait for the test result to be sure I guess.  Its all about whether or not you had unprotected sex, and if your tests were conclusive depends on the timelines and you didn't cover them.  As for your ex's tests....this is about your results, not his.

13 weeks after any exposure, that's not for polls or opinion, just the facts.

I also found the poll very odd to say the least.

Sae.