Author Topic: Risk assessment. (Read 21324 times)

paquiqua · « **on:** February 17, 2015, 09:14:48 am »

Hi! I stumbled on this forum after what I assumed is a high-risk exposure.

A little background from me first: 31-year-old male but I've only been sexually active for a little more than 3 years a half. In this three years I've only had anal sex (me being receptive) 5 times (there are two more times I don't really count because penetration was very slight). All of them with condom. Although I'm reluctant to oral sex as well, I have given oral sex in a few occasions (probably as many as I've had sex).

I've had a couple of problems during one time in which I gave oral sex: after I gave oral sex and went back to my room to wash my mouth, I noticed I started to bleed from my gums.

Another scary incident was a guy who I was kissing and who started bleeding on his lower lip and we realized this as he started to give me oral sex.

Both these incidents scared to death that that I might've contracted HIV or other STDs. I'd remained untested for those three and half years...until 6 days ago in which I had an unfortunate encounter.

I met a guy at a bar and we hit it off; very friendly, interesting, intelligent and knowledgable. He wanted to give me oral and I didn't object. Everything's fine. Then we went to another bar and had some more drinks. In a little while he got turned on and told me to go to a private part of the bar. He wanted me to give him oral and I said I didn't feel comfortable with it. I gave him oral with a condom. Then he wanted to penetrate me, I said I didn't want to and didn't feel comfortable doing that in a bar. We went back to the counter and had some more drinks. I wasn't drunk and even though he told me he couldn't drink more alcohol he wasn't drunk either, I mean, in a way that you'd act out of inertia.

After a while we went back to that private part and I gave him oral again with a condom; he wanted to penetrate me and I ultimately agreed to; he had me put him another condom and it wasn't going down well and then he realized it was upside down so he turned it over (a very dumb mistake, I know! $:-\$ . Unfortunately your mind goes rather blank int these situations) and then proceeds to penetrate me. He was a little too rough on me and it felt a little rough...this was one of those fruit-flavored condoms but I'm not sure if they have some kind of added-on lubricant? Anyway, in less than two minutes, he takes his penis out and tells me the condom is broke: I was in absolute shock and could barely react; I just turned and watched him taking it off and right after releasing some pre-cum fluid but no visible ejaculation. I was so impressed I could barely think: the one thing I did was wipe my ass with a tissue. There was fecal matter in the tissue.

He told I shouldn't have to worry because it was less than two minutes, that he didn't ejaculate and that he's safe and knows how to protect himself. Afterwards we went to another bar and had a couple more beers. He could tell I was deeply worried and he gave me his number and again reassured me that I didn't need to worry about anything. I couldn't help not to trust him, despite his reassurances. When I got home, about 3 hours after the incident, I went to clean my behind properly.

I could barely sleep because all the thoughts in my head that I could've been infected from him. Hours later I went to the toilet for number 2 and I was over I noticed a red element which seemed like dried blood. That sent me over the edge! I started looking info on the internet like crazy and that's how I found this forum and about the PEP treatment. This took me hours. Finally, with all the necessary info, I headed to an ER.

I had to wait there for about 1 hour and a half and I could barely stay conscious; I just wanted to pass out due to the direness and despair of my situation. After I told them my story, weirdly enough the doctor told me that PEP was not recommended in my case but it could be offered, which sounds really weird to me. I think it may have to do with the fact that she thinks my partner is negative because he sounds so confident and told me I could get tested and that I don't have to worry...which seems very deceiving in retrospective considering HIV doesn't show after weeks in the system.

The doctor asked me if I was negative and I couldn't say the truth and said I was but that I hadn't been tested in two years.

She gave me PEP only for ONE day and then referred me to a clinic the next day for to get tested. I was so terrified to get tested I waited until very late to go to the clinic, I had no more PEP but didn't miss the single doses I was given. In the clinic I talked to a very nice and friendly female doctor and she gave me PEP for two more days. I had to get tested for HIV on Saturday.

My mind was in such a haze I even forgot to confirm the appointment for Saturday. Then on Saturday I went to the clinic and basically kind of begged them for PEP and an appointment. They gave me no PEP but they did give me the appointment. I talked to another doctor and when he asked me my status I had to tell him that I'd never been tested. He told me I needed to get tested in order to continue with PEP; otherwise the treatment would be detrimental.

After thinking it so much through and been filled with terrifying fear, I decide to take the plunge and get tested. The result is negative; I couldn't believe it for I thought I was so sure it'd come away positive. However, now I'm on PEP treatment for a month and today is my sixth day. One of the morning pills (not Truvada) I took about 4-5 hours later and I'm worrying that'll hinder the whole thing.

I also had to adjust the time for the night pills because the first one they gave me at the hospital was at 2am (the second one I also took at that time but after that about 4 hours earlier, so kind of at 11pm).

Btw, I'm in contact with the guy at the moment and he told me he could get tested no problem the first time I wrote him. Later, after I asked him if he could get tested so I didn't have to go through PEP he told me that he couldn't tell me at the moment when, so I'm assuming he's either positive or has no idea on his status. I don't know if it makes it better the fact that he told me he's only insertive and knows how to protect himself and what to do and what not; he keeps telling me I exaggerate and that I should calm down, that he didn't ejaculate inside me and that his penis was dry when he took it out.

Anyway, I had a crisis last night with the PEP. I swallowed both Isentress and Truvada at the same time; I had never had a problem with it (or so I think) but after I swallowed them I had the impression that maybe one of them was stuck in my esophagus. I absolutely freaked out and started drinking more water, even called two hospitals for advice and they told me to eat bread or yogurt; had the former so I ate pieces of bread to make the pill go down but it wouldn't. Drank more water; I was in absolute desperation. After that I decided to warm some milk and drank some...that calmed me down and later it seemed the sensation that a pill was still there was fading. However, it took me like an hour and a half for it to go away. Then I found some info on the internet about a condition called Globus something in which people have a feeling of having a lump or a pill stuck in their throat when in reality there's nothing there. Hopefully that was it because I'm freaking out a little that any delay in the doses can completely mess up the treatment...which leads me to another question: is warm milk a perfectly acceptable drink to make the pills go down easier? My doctor didn't say anything about it, so I'm going to assume it's ok?

So...this is where I stand at the moment. I'm hopeful in that the treatment will work (the doctor told me it's very very effective but like everything in life, nothing is certain

) but I worry about that morning pill (Isentress) that I took a few hours late (the doctor told me that it was no problem but I still worry) and the Truvada + Isentress that, unless it was my imagination, took over an hour to go down my throat.

Also, I haven't been tested for other STDs (but will most likely in less than two weeks, when the doctor monitors my PEP treatment). In case I had STDs...would that affect the PEP treatment?

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this long-winded post (which has actually kind of calmed me down)

Jeff G · « **Reply #1 on:** February 17, 2015, 09:31:03 am »

PEP is very effective if initiated within 72 hours so you should fully expect to test negative when you you confirm your HIV test at 12 weeks past PEP. The window period for testing is 6 weeks past any possible exposure or pep and again at 12 weeks to confirm it . Due to the window periods and peoples honesty or lack there of the only HIV test that matters is your own test taken at the appropriate time, never ask another person to test for you .

You can read about testing here ... http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/HIVtests_5029.shtml
You can read about PEP here ... http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/Transmission_17146.shtml

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI.Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence .

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

paquiqua · « **Reply #2 on:** February 17, 2015, 09:36:07 am »

Should I assume that since you didn't directly address any of my other questions that they have no relevance on the outcome of this treatment?

Thanks for the prompt reply!

Jeff G · « **Reply #3 on:** February 17, 2015, 09:41:25 am »

That is correct ... the meds are powerful and forgiving so just take them everyday around the same time within 3 hours either way and you will be fine .

paquiqua · « **Reply #4 on:** February 18, 2015, 08:55:06 pm »

I've been experiencing night sweats (no fever, though) and some blandness in the stools when I go to the toilet...are these regular symptoms of PEP (Isentress + Truvada) or do they have to do with seroconversion? For some reason I'm also worried if the possibility of having an STD (don't know yet, have not been tested for other STDs) like hepatitis could really mess up the treatment.

Thanks again.

Joe K · « **Reply #5 on:** February 18, 2015, 09:26:55 pm »

We do not discuss symptoms as they may have many causes. If they concern you, consult with your doctor. The presence of an STI will not affect the PEP.

Joe

Jeff G · « **Reply #6 on:** February 18, 2015, 09:34:15 pm »

Nothing you mention will effect your PEP treatment … you are going to be OK .

paquiqua · « **Reply #7 on:** March 09, 2015, 07:28:49 am »

So I'm a few days (either three or five depending on what my doctor tells me) away from finishing my PEP treatment but today it dawned on me that I might've made a really stupid mistake on the first day of my treatment which might've jeopardize the whole treatment.

The first tablets that were given to me and I took were one of Isentress and one of Truvada to be taken together...I took them at around 1:30 am. The former, according to the prescription is supposed to be taken every 12 hours but since I took those two together I figured I'd take them from then on always together and so for some stupid reason I waited till around 1:30 am to take both pills together when I should've taken the Isentress maybe a good three hours and a half or so earlier according to the prescription. Instead of moving my doses of Truvada a few hours earlier to fit my prescription of Insentress I did the other way around and now I'm seriously worried that it might've messed everything up. I did it because I gave priority to Truvada and it should've been the other way around...I didn't think clearly and now feel so stupid

The next day (the second day of my treatment but third doses) I decided to move the time so that the time difference between my first and second dose was exactly 12 hours. On the third day there was the delayed Insentress dose I took about 4 hours later because the doctor wouldn't give it to me till I was tested for HIV.

In case none of that was clear, I can illustrate it a bit:

Day 1, first dose: 19-20 hours after exposure at roughly 1:45 am (Isentress + Truvada)

On this day I think I took my morning dose of Isentress between 9:30-10 am, maybe 10:30...don't remember that well. My night dose (Isentress + Truvada) that day I took about the same time as the first dose (1:30-1:45 am)

Day 2: I decide to move the time of my night dose from 1:30am to 11pm and to make the time between doses exactly 12 hours.

Day 3: Took my morning dose (11am) about 4, 4 hours and a half later (around 3:30 pm) due to the doctor not wanting to give me tablets till I got the results from my HIV test.

After that I decide to move my night dose half an hour earlier (10:30pm) and since then I've taken my morning dose at 10:30 am and my night dose at 10:30pm.

Outside of those time lapses I've followed the treatment almost religiously, haven't missed any doses and have taken them all strictly on time but again, I'm so worried that those lapses might've spoiled the whole thing.

How bad are those lapses?

Andy Velez · « **Reply #8 on:** March 09, 2015, 08:38:49 am »

No, the irregularity described would not destroy the efficacy of the treatment.

Finish it up and then you can test for the first time at 6 weeks after completing the treatment. If that result is negative then it's very, very likely to be conclusively negative at 3 months. Try to be patient while waiting and focus on other things in your life. Doing that will make the waiting time go much more easily.

paquiqua · « **Reply #9 on:** March 09, 2015, 09:12:02 am »

Thanks for the prompt reply!

The past few days, outside one in which I had some serious nausea, which prompted me to have an axiety attack, haven't actually been so bad but then I just happened to see my prescription bag and freaked when I read Isentress every 12 hours and realized that I didn't do that the first day of the treatment because I decided to take it together with my daily dose of Truvada exactly 24 hours after my first dose.

I wonder how it doesn't mess the efficacy of the treatment, though. Is it because Truvada is strong enough to protect blood cells from the virus for a few hours without the support of Isentress?

ETA: I also want to apologize for the impatient and insistent tone of my questions. Have a good day and thanks!

Thanks in advance!

Andy Velez · « **Reply #10 on:** March 09, 2015, 09:15:36 am »

You have largely followed the recommended pattern. A risk from a broken condom is at the lower end of risk scale. Until it broke you were protected by the condom.

Overall I would say the odds are in your favor that you will come out of this ok. You really need to work on focusing on other things because otherwise you are going to drive yourself crazy to no good effect during this waiting time. And don't bother saying you're too worried to do that because that response isn't going to fly here.

Just do it.

paquiqua · « **Reply #11 on:** March 09, 2015, 09:34:01 am »

You're absolutely right! That's what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks or so and it's been working rather well. It's just that everything can go wrong so easily and one gets hung up on what might be little mistakes.

Thanks again and I'll let you know about how it goes with my subsequent testing.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #12 on:** March 09, 2015, 09:48:19 am »

OK. Good luck with your test results.

paquiqua · « **Reply #13 on:** March 10, 2015, 01:05:02 pm »

Just came back from my doctor appointment and my numbers on my blood test were all good except an inflammation of the liver but my doctor told me that was normal for this treatment. I also told her about the aforementioned time lapses in my doses and she told me, even reassured me that they wouldn't affect the treatment, which is very reassuring and calming and that what's important is that I started the treatment on time and that I've taken my doses everyday; she even told me that she's never seen any patient on the practice she's in have a positive result after being on PEP.

What kind of surprised me a little is that she scheduled my HIV test a month from the last day of my treatment and not six weeks like I thought was regular practice. Your thoughts on this?

Andy Velez · « **Reply #14 on:** March 10, 2015, 01:24:23 pm »

The difference in testing points is something for you to discuss with your doctor.

We go with it being 6 weeks and then 3 months from the completion of PEP.

paquiqua · « **Reply #15 on:** March 11, 2015, 09:19:22 am »

Thanks!

I'll talk to my doctor about it.

Another question and this might be a really dumb one, sorry!

Does masturbation have any effect on the treatment?

What about when one is from time to time not to ejaculate right away, even when it's only pre-cum?

Any bearing on PEP or subsequent infection on the urethra or any possibility of those fluids going to the blood stream?

Jeff G · « **Reply #16 on:** March 11, 2015, 09:28:10 am »

Masturbation will not interfere with your treatments and you cant infect yourself if that's what you are asking . You will come out of this OK, PEP is very effective .

paquiqua · « **Reply #17 on:** March 11, 2015, 05:04:59 pm »

LOL thank you very much for the concrete answers!

I thank you all for being so informative and patient with my paranoia.

Good night!

Jeff G · « **Reply #18 on:** March 11, 2015, 05:26:46 pm »

You are welcome !

paquiqua · « **Reply #19 on:** April 07, 2015, 04:25:57 am »

I'm pretty much at the end of my wits at the moment and I may also have finally confirmed I have OCD and a serious phobia of HIV if my fears are unfounded.

Last week I went almost every night out to drink (I live in Berlin and here there's some kind of leather celebration during Easter) with my roommate and a visitor of his. On early Friday morning we go to one of the seediest sex bars I know for some drinks. We spent a few hours there and had quite a lot to drink; I was getting on a merry mood and was drunk but was at the same time rather lucid. Unfortunately my roommate and his visit left me alone in the bar and because I wanted to stay longer (I was in a merry mood and having a good time)...like 4 to 5 hours longer.

The thing is, even if I was quite drunk, I feel like I was quite lucid and can remember many small details, can remember the people I talked to and things I did and even how I got home. I even remember checking my watch several times during this period and going out to the ATM to get some money for one more beer (!!

).

Anyway, I decide to go to the dark room and I really don't think any details escape me here: unfortunately I played around quite a bit but the worst I did was getting kissed by a couple of guys and sucking a couple guys' nipples. The rest was just touching. I talked to a guy outside the dark room and he wanted me to blow him but I resisted and even told him I'm waiting to get an HIV test. I kissed him around his body and his neck and nipples. I also touch some guy in the dark room and as he proceeds to kiss me, OCD freak that I am, turn away and go to the toilet to wash my mouth. That's when I decide I've had enough partying and take a taxi and go home.

When I wake up seven hours later I feel, of course, terrible and with all kinds of doubts and second-guessing. What upsets me the most, besides having incurred in such behavior while not even yet getting tested after my PEP treatment, is the time I stayed there alone. If it had been less time it'd been rather ok but 4 hours and a half, maybe 5 hours is quite a bit of time. So of course I freak out that I may have blacked out and have done something risky during this time. During this time I did drink maybe three beers which came in big glasses, I had rather long conversations with at least four people and well, there's the time in the dark room and also the time outside in the bar just sitting and doing nothing, which does amount to a considerable amount of time; I'm just surprised it was close to five hours. Another thing that freaks me out: when I go to the bathroom the next day for number 2, I have a rather intense burning sensation in my anus during discharge, which is not diarrhea, btw, but rather clay-like in appearance. That of course frightens me instantly and makes me doubt and second-guess and wonder if I actually DID do something more during the time I was alone in that bar. However, I have to add that I did do go to drink almost every night during the week and that discharge the previous day going of the alcohol binge in which we went to that seedy bar was also considerably sore and with this burning sensation. So I chalk it up to that and I pray and hope it's that and not something else I could've possibly done.

Given the information that I recall from this night, even some very specific, small details (I even remember the guys I talked to and even one who just asked me where I come from and whom I also asked the same question and told me he came from Basque Country in Spain) and given my apparent level of fear that I would go away from someone the moment he started to touch my lips with his own and go to the toilet to wash my mouth, would you say it's possible that I had engaged in risky sexual activity and didn't notice? Like, someone remotely penetrating me?

Being consumed with fear and anxiety I decided to take the last two remaining doses of the remaining PEP I had and the next day I went to the clinic to get seen by a doctor. I was left very unsatisfied by this appointment because the doctor seemed cold and uninvolved and told me things like "drink less alcohol" and "maybe you need to get something else instead of PEP"; maybe that's the response I just deserve. My roommate already told me he'd give me a number of a good therapist. In the end I didn't get the PEP and can barely cope with the anxiety and thoughts of having possibly put myself at risk and not having PEP to go through it. Apparently many who are HIV+ didn't even suspect they engaged in risky situation to begin with and I'm sure it happened to many during alcohol binges in which they let themselves go and don't recall the events and the nagging feeling of maybe not remembering everything is such a distressing and terrible one.

I feel like such a moral failure and a failure in pretty much every regard. The funny thing is I wouldn't have gone out to drink if my roommate hadn't had this visitor from abroad but I have no one but me to blame for my spinelessness.

paquiqua · « **Reply #20 on:** April 07, 2015, 04:29:24 am »

I get tested next week, btw, but I think I'll postpone it for two weeks to get the six-week post-PEP you guys at the forum go by.

paquiqua · « **Reply #21 on:** April 07, 2015, 05:12:35 am »

Also forgot to add the burning soreness went away a bit over a day after that last alcoholic binge in that bar. I'll just chalk it up to the big alcohol intake in the past week. I think if I'd had anal sex (receptive), any pain concerning it would've lasted longer than that. I know I'm ridiculous in my obsessive overthinking but I just feel so alone (my roommate is as nice as he can be but I don't want to burden him with my paranoia) and have the need to express my admittedly irrational fears. I should get a test for OCD, as well. :sigh:

At the moment I do have some kidney pain but I think that has more to do with the tremendous anxiety I've been (it always seems to affect my stomach and kidneys).

I seriously can't wait this to be over so I can move on with my life and get some help.

paquiqua · « **Reply #22 on:** April 07, 2015, 09:27:11 am »

I'm sorry to be a pain in the ass, but I wonder if one of the mods could assess me on the last posts: is there a possibility that, even if I remember so many things about that night very well and clearly, I might've actually had sex and not noticed? Or maybe even (and I know this may sound even more farfetched) also shot up (which I've NEVER done in my life and have no desire to) ? I have a red mark in one crook of my arm which could look like an injection shot but which could also be a simply an infected arm hair, as well; but that's one thing that's sent me over the edge with the paranoia; the only way I can rationally explain the mark is the already mentioned infected arm hair or it's still some mark from the blood draw I had almost a month ago...which really doesn't make sense. I know this probably sounds all ridiculous but that's why I'm turning to you, much more rational and saner people than I am.

Jeff G · « **Reply #23 on:** April 07, 2015, 10:16:05 am »

You did not have a risk and do not need to test for this incident . HIV is sexually transmitted from unprotected anal and vaginal sex . We cant help you with your phobia so please get some help .

paquiqua · « **Reply #24 on:** April 07, 2015, 10:48:00 am »

Thank you so much for your reply!

I reckon I'm being completely irrational and WILL get help. Looking at it more rationally, whenever I've had anal sex, the pain always seems to be...more up there and it feels rather muscular (which would be a sign of penetration) than just soreness and burning sensation, not to mention it lasts for a few days; and simply: if I'd been penetrated, I would've felt it there, yes, and I don't even remember pulling my pants down, much less unbuttoning them. This has all been a big lesson for me; it makes me want to quit alcohol altogether, which should be really no problem for me because I have no dependence on it. I'll try to move on with my life but the anxiety is trying and debilitating for sure. I'll get help and you're all a big help in these most stressful times.

Thank you for your patience!

paquiqua · « **Reply #25 on:** June 29, 2018, 05:55:24 am »

Hello,

Last night I was fooling around with a guy in a darkroom.

He gave me oral sex (what I do on very rare occasions but this guy was interesting and sexy) and and we made out. At one point he changes the position of my erect penis to somewhere a bit closer to his body. Not too much time passes when I decide to grab my penis and change the position to somewhere around his left side. He does this one more time and I take my penis again and change to somewhere around his left side. All this during a make out and blowjob session in which I was always facing him (he never turned or anything).

I have never been active, so I have no idea how it feels to penetrate someone. I was also completely sober. I guess my question is for those who are active: does one ALWAYS know without doubt when one penetrates someone, or is it possible to penetrate someone without knowing, even if someone is totally sober? How plausible is this when one is facing the other person that the other person could place your penis inside one's anus? This seems highly unlikely to me, but given that I have never been active, I feel very ignorant about this. I guess would've been unlikely if I had penetrated him that I could move my penis to change its position with relative ease and without noticing, right?

I guess I am just quite anxious and would like to hear from more experienced voices. Is the one doing the penetration ALWAYS aware of the penetration? Have you heard of cases of people who want to be penetrated and try to without telling the other person?

Thank you very much in advance.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #26 on:** June 29, 2018, 06:30:04 am »

If you put a penis up your anus or visversa you would know about it ...

Move on with your life, I'm not going to play rounds of irrational "what ifs" with you, that is for your therapist.

Jim

Quote from: Jeff G on April 07, 2015, 10:16:05 am

You did not have a risk and do not need to test for this incident . HIV is sexually transmitted from unprotected anal and vaginal sex . We cant help you with your phobia so please get some help .

paquiqua · « **Reply #27 on:** June 29, 2018, 06:37:43 am »

Quote from: JimDublin on June 29, 2018, 06:30:04 am

if you put a penis up your anus or visversa you would know about it ...

Move on with your life, I'm not going to play rounds of irrational "what ifs" with you, that is for your therapist.

Jim

Sorry, I made a mistake: I meant if I put my penis on someone else's anus or if someone puts my penis on their anus, I would unequivocally know, right?

Yes, I am going to get therapy (again).

Thanks again.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #28 on:** June 29, 2018, 06:51:10 am »

Yes. As said you would know about it.

Jim

paquiqua · « **Reply #29 on:** August 05, 2018, 12:03:04 pm »

Hello everyone.

35-year old gay male here. I posted here last month due to a sex scare. I've been OCD and terrified of HIV and STDs for years. The last time I got tested for HIV was three years ago and it was negative. Since then I haven't had (to my recollection...this sounds weird but sometimes I feel that others my have inserted my penis into their anuses without me knowing...total OCD stuff, I know) anal sex and a few times oral sex. I have never tested for other STDs, though. In the last three years I've seen my health deteriorate. I chalk it up to a bad diet but what's been signal warnings for me were shingles last year and then an ugly wart close my mouth that looked like HVP and which took several months to disappear. This year I decided to start eating healthier, I got a bike and started exercising, quit sugar candy and alcohol and I have lost quite some weight in a few months. Health-wise I feel like I've been doing better and people tell me I look great, yet I cannot get over the shingles and the wart as huge signals that things are not right with my health. Over a couple of weeks ago I got a yellow stain in one of my thumbnails and this seriously freaked me out. OCD freak that I am, I started surfing on the internet and on a couple of pages it was stated that that could be a sign for HIV. I had already been thinking to go to the doctor to get tested but I got a bike accident and broke my elbow, so I had to focus on recovering first from that. But yeah, funnily enough, the yellow stain on my thumbnail finally made me go to the doctor. He told me it was (or looked like) a nail fungus and most likely did not have anything to do with HIV (but he did say it could be anything, as well). Around the time the yellow stain appeared I also bled a lot when going a couple of times to the bathroom, which scared me even more (hemorrhoids? Cancer?).

I kind of hate myself right now because I can't believe that a guy who is so uptight and reluctant to have anal sex (last time was three years ago before that HIV test) and who's always been very healthy could have a considerably bad health streak like this. Even when trying to be safe and cautious, I feel like I've done it wrong and failed. I just don't understand. So two days ago I got tested for all STDs. I will get the results next Saturday. Given all these different rather current health-related issues/incidents that I mentioned, I am definitely expecting to get at least one STD + HIV. I wish I could be more optimistic, but at the time I'm not seeing how I could be and I am most certainly preparing for the worst.

I just wanted to share this and offering a dime (or rather €13

) for your thoughts.

#sigh

Ptrk3 · « **Reply #30 on:** August 05, 2018, 12:32:28 pm »

Nothing from your post indicates that you have had a viable risk for HIV-infection: your OCD is working overtime and dealing with that issue is the health-issue on which you should focus.

Unprotected oral sex does not pose a viable HIV-risk, but could pose a risk for other STD's.

Your doctor has explained to you the causes for your recent health-related issues (anyone who had chickenpox can get shingles; a wart can be just a wart; and, nail fungus is minor).

I fully expect that your test for HIV-antibodies and for other STD's/STI's will be negative, based on the information in your post.

You need to work with your healthcare providers in dealing with your OCD.

paquiqua · « **Reply #31 on:** August 05, 2018, 12:41:22 pm »

Thank you very much for your post.

Yes, I am very much OCD and even a hypochondriac. I've been dealing for years with that.

Regarding the wart, it was pretty much a nasty filiform wart (or at least it looked like it). I read on the internet (I know) that such warts fall off because the immune system pretty much kills them but that they usually don't in people who are HIV+. My question: since the wart I had fell off, does that mean that I'm not HIV+ since my immune system is strong enough to kill the wart?

I guess I'm looking for some reassurances between now and the time I get my test results.

Thank you in advance!

(and yes, I am working and will keep working on my OCD and hypochondriac tendencies).

Ptrk3 · « **Reply #32 on:** August 05, 2018, 12:53:35 pm »

You are not HIV-negative because your wart fell off.

You are HIV-negative (for the activities described in your post) because you did not have a risk for HIV-exposure.

That is the only assurance I can give (moderators of this forum give risk-based assessments).

We are not doctors, dermatologists, or healthcare professionals.

paquiqua · « **Reply #33 on:** August 05, 2018, 01:12:04 pm »

Thank you for the direct answer.

I will work on my OCD and hypochondriac tendencies as soon as I get the results from my tests. I will put an effort on being rational about this.

Ptrk3 · « **Reply #34 on:** August 05, 2018, 03:15:39 pm »

You're welcome.

Good luck dealing with your OCD. I know it must be a burden to you.

paquiqua · « **Reply #35 on:** August 11, 2018, 05:56:50 am »

Thanks.

General question: since I have to work on the weekend, it'll be a few more days before I pick up my test results.

In case it turns out to be positive: what's the first thing to do treatment-wise or otherwise? I guess I just want to be prepared and know what I have to do beforehand.

Thanks.

CaveyUK · « **Reply #36 on:** August 11, 2018, 06:16:56 am »

We assist with risk assessment only on this forum. In the event of any positive diagnosis there is a corresponding forum where details around treatment can be discussed although to be honest everyones needs are different and so the doctor is the first port of call for next steps in that situation.

But as has been explained, from a risk assessment perspective you didn't have a risk, therefore delving into 'what ifs' is completely futile.

Your problem isn't HIV as you have had no risk, it is the irrational fears that you hold and the impact that has on your life. That is what you need to be focusing on, not HIV test results. Please don't put off addressing these issues.

paquiqua · « **Reply #37 on:** September 01, 2018, 02:10:55 pm »

So I finally gathered up the courage and went to get my results...almost a month after having taken the tests.

I was truly fearing the absolute worst, but to my shock it all came back negative. HIV negative and no STD's whatsoever...after the shingles, the filliform-looking wart and the yellow thumbnail.

I...don't understand. But those are the results.

The doctor recommended me to get a Hepatitis A vaccine, though and I had it taken.

I'm also going to have an appointment about Prep. I'm thinking of taking it because otherwise I will not be able to even enjoy the slightest amount of sex ever.

Thank you very much for your assistance!

Jim Allen · « **Reply #38 on:** September 01, 2018, 02:17:19 pm »

Quote

to my shock it all came back negative. HIV negative

No surprise here as you simply had no hiv concern and your "symptoms" have nothing to do with hiv.

Anyhow glad to hear you are looking into PrEP as an additional layer of protection going forward against HIV. If you keep having irrational thoughts and, hiv phobia tendencies than speak with your therapist

Jim

paquiqua · « **Reply #39 on:** September 01, 2018, 02:24:59 pm »

Thank you very much for the assistance!

Yeah, I am seriously considering PrEP...hopefully I can start having something resembling a normal sex life with it.

I am exhausted at the moment...waiting for the results completely drained all the energy out of me. I might even come down with the flu.

I'm just going to relax.

Again, thank you so much!

paquiqua · « **Reply #40 on:** August 17, 2019, 06:26:57 am »

Hello,

I was ready to post but I accidentally deleted the whole thing. It's a shame because it was really well-detailed.

36-year old gay male here and I haven't posted in about a year. Unfortunately I am back with a new issue.

The last time I got tested for STDs was August last year and the results came negative on all fronts. The only thing the doctor recommended was to get a vaccine against Hepatitis A and I did. Unfortunately I have anxious, probably hypochondriac tendencies, but in the last year I have tried to enjoy my sexuality and at the same time being careful about it (while at the same time trying to find a boyfriend). I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, I started working out this year and don't ever have unprotected anal sex. The past year I got oral sex probably three times but that was the extent of it. The past year I have fooled around a lot, though, and I usually do this in dark rooms. I have always been bottom and the last time I had receptive sex was about 4 years ago with my sex. I have never been actively top either and as far as I know I have never penetrated anyone. I say 'as far as I know' because due to my anxieties I have the constant fear that while making out with someone in a dark room, someone will take my penis und stick in their anus without me noticing it.

As an aside but totally relevant to my issue, I went to the dentist last year after not having gone for many years. The dentist told me that my gums were swollen and some of it had receded but that through regular dental cleanings they would get healed...so I did. I got my dental cleaning last year and in June this year I got another one. The doctor told me that I had a predisposition for periodontitis but that in general my gums were in good shape because of the regular cleanings and good mouth hygiene.

However, one night at the end of July I went to fool around in a dark room (only kissing and playing around, again, no sex, not even oral) and I was observing someone get oral sex, he ejaculated so hard that the sperm hit my face and eyes. I washed it off after a couple of minutes but was of course extremely anxious about it. I went to the doctor the next day and he told me there was no need for a Post-Profylaxis because there was no risk of HIV infection. This same day I got my second vaccine against Hepatitis A.

I didn't feel particularly well the next couple days and I had to go on vacation. I got some diarrhea and a light fever. Around the fourth day of my holidays (27th July or so), my gums started to swell up very strongly and I got a lot of sores all over my mouth and this white paste on the upper side of my tongue. When I got back home from my holidays (31st July) I got an appointment at an emergency dentist (August 2nd, I think) and he recommended me to a jaw surgeon (!). I got x-rays and the surgeon said it was gingivitis, but that there was no sign of herpes based on the sores. He asked me, though, if I had any immuno-suppressive disease and mentioned HIV. I was, of course, freaked out by the question but on principle I said no. In the end since he recommended me a strong mouth wash and asked me to come back within a week. The swelling went considerably down, the white paste on my tongue and the sores went away and a week later I went to the surgeon. He said he saw a vast improvement but that there was still some swelling but that it looked good and that I didn't even need to take the prescribed mouth wash anymore. Every seemed fine but in the last couple of days I have noticed some bleeding by spitting in the mornings, when using dental floss and when brushing my teeth and most frightening of all: I have the sensation that some teeth are slightly loose and the positioning of the teeth itself feels odd, especially when biting.

I have a new appointment today with the dentist for a new check-up but now I have the feeling it could be related to HIV. So on top of the fear of having a periodontal disease and even losing some teeth, I also have the nagging feeling that I may be HIV+. So after my appointment with the dentist today, I'll probably go to another doctor to get a quick HIV test tomorrow. Sigh. So much stress.

I just wanted to get some advise and expert opinions on this and about the relation between gum disease and HIV. I just cannot really fathom having HIV since I cannot recall having unprotected sex in the last year and as I said, I don't drink alcohol and take no drugs, so I've always been sober and conscious, but I don't understand either how my gums could get so ill considering I got my cleaning in June...unless it is all stress-related. It seems all my efforts to improve my life and health just fired back at me, which is very disappointing.

Thank you for reading.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #41 on:** August 17, 2019, 07:53:23 am »

Like your doctor said getting cum in your face is no HIV risk, neither is getting your penis sucked, kissing or fooling around and if you stuck your penis in someone's anus you would have known about it.

In short what you posted was not an HIV risk , your left testicle could fall off and all your teeth could fall out it will not change that

You have to read what people have answered already to you before because my patience for magic HIV transmission is at an all time low this week. I do wish you well but don't post about no-risk HIV situations

Jim

paquiqua · « **Reply #42 on:** August 19, 2019, 11:00:07 am »

Thanks and I'm sorry.

Went to the jaw surgeon again and he said my gums were swollen and only one of my teeth is slightly slightly loose. He recommended me to get a full medical check-up, including an HIV test. I am kind of freaked out because if my nerves don't betray me, I really really couldn't have been exposed...for the life of me I can't remember having anal sex either as active or passive...I don't drink or take drugs so I would have known! Unless something went wrong on one of the three times I got oral sex, which I REALLY don't think was the case. No, I can't really conceive a scenario in which I was put at risk.

I'll probably go to a doctor tomorrow and ask to get a full check-up and blood work and I'm again really fearing the worst. If not HIV, then cancer?

I'm now starting to question the accuracy of my tests last year and if the hepatitis A vaccine I got was actually safe. Very scared at the moment

Jim Allen · « **Reply #43 on:** August 19, 2019, 11:31:51 am »

Hiya,

We have been through/over similar situations with you in the past. Now there are plenty of tests that they will run to rule things out when presenting with certain conditions. It's normal, HIV is one of those tests, my father had a heart attack 5 years ago and the 4th/5th test on the list was an HIV test.

Anyhow no need to panic unless you had an exposure and, so far nothing you posted was an exposure so unless there is something you have not mentioned here HIV is not an issue. Just to be clear nothing could "go wrong" getting your penis sucked and, you did not acquire HIV 4 years ago either also as your doctor said getting cum in your face is no HIV risk, neither is getting your penis sucked, kissing or fooling around.

I wish you well, I hope you feel better soon but allowing you to continue to post irrational theories on HIV transmission is not doing either of us any good. I think you should really consider talking to therapist about your HIV Phobia

Jim

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no HIV risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

paquiqua · « **Reply #44 on:** January 28, 2020, 06:54:27 am »

Hello guys,

I am back with yet another situation.

This past weekend (from Saturday to Sunday) I fooled around with a guy in a club and he then asked me to turn to feel my behind. I told him not to penetrate me and he said he wouldn't. He started rubbing his erect penis against my butt crack and his penis was in vertical position. It may have lasted a minute overall but it did get a bit more intense and it started to feel as if his penis kind was getting deeper into my ass and that's when I separated my torso from his and immediately pulled up my pants. I NEVER do any frottage or rubbing like this and I was completely sober. His penis was also dry and as I am pretty much celibate regarding sex for some years now I THINK very strongly there was no penetration as I most definitely would've felt it. Still I can't help but feel pangs of doubt...most likely anxiety-related regarding an activity I NEVER partake in. I went today to a clinic that specializes in STD's and the doctor denied me the PEP treatment, though, and he says that the window for treatment closes at 48 hours (it was more than 48, but much less than 72, which I thought was the limit), which shocked me as I used PEP some years ago with likely more than 48 hours post-exposure.

What are the HIV and other STD-related risks concerning a situation like this? Should I try to go to another clinic before the treatment window (I must be at 54-55 hours as I am writing this message) closes?

Thank you in advance for your assessment.

ETA: regarding the previous issue the last time I was here, I got full tests in September and they all came negative.

paquiqua · « **Reply #45 on:** January 28, 2020, 07:59:22 am »

In case this post wasn't seen in the other thread where all my other posts are stored:

Hello guys,

I am back with yet another situation.

This past weekend (from Saturday to Sunday) I fooled around with a guy in a club and he then asked me to turn to feel my behind. I told him not to penetrate me and he said he wouldn't. He started rubbing his erect penis against my butt crack and his penis was in vertical position. It may have lasted a minute overall but it did get a bit more intense and it started to feel as if his penis kind was getting deeper into my ass and that's when I separated my torso from his and immediately pulled up my pants. I NEVER do any frottage or rubbing like this and I was completely sober. His penis was also dry and as I am pretty much celibate regarding sex for some years now I THINK very strongly there was no penetration as I most definitely would've felt it. Still I can't help but feel pangs of doubt...most likely anxiety-related regarding an activity I NEVER partake in. I went today to a clinic that specializes in STD's and the doctor denied me the PEP treatment, though, and he says that the window for treatment closes at 48 hours (it was more than 48, but much less than 72, which I thought was the limit), which shocked me as I used PEP some years ago with likely more than 48 hours post-exposure.

What are the HIV and other STD-related risks concerning a situation like this? Should I try to go to another clinic before the treatment window (I must be at 54-55 hours as I am writing this message) closes?

Thank you in advance for your assessment.

ETA: regarding the previous issue the last time I was here, I got full tests in September and they all came negative.

ETA2: I have felt rather unwell from last night to...well, now. Fatigue and weakness. Could it be an HIV- or STD-related syndrome?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #46 on:** January 28, 2020, 08:35:56 am »

Hiya,

General guidelines on PEP is within 72 hours, the sooner the better.

However, I see no HIV exposure from what you posted just fears and certainly no reason for PEP or testing outside of the standard yearly routine.

Move on with your life, PEP and testing over nothing is not an coping strategy. Consider PrEP to give you an additional layer of protection and peace of mind for the future and talk to a therapist regarding your ongoing HIV paranoia

paquiqua · « **Reply #47 on:** January 28, 2020, 08:49:57 am »

Thanks for the reply.

Are there any risks to contract other STD's through simple rubbing?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #48 on:** January 28, 2020, 09:00:51 am »

Look sex comes with risks.

As someone who is sexually active, it's a risk you have to learn to accept and cope with. You can reduce your risks like by using condoms during intercourse.

The levels of risk for various STIs depends greatly on differences in how the diseases or infections are transmitted. Some infections (Not HIV) are transmitted primarily by skin-to-skin contact, however, there is no need to stress or freak out or run out and test for STI's after every sexual encounter.

Simply use condoms to reduce your risks/exposure and test at least yearly for HIV and the far easier to acquire STI's out of standard routine.

Quote

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other easier to transmit STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

paquiqua · « **Reply #49 on:** January 18, 2022, 01:37:02 am »

Hello,

last night I had a date that ended in sex with a male. As we were lying in bed naked, he asked me to get on top of his torso so he could perform fellatio on me. I complied and sat on top of his torso and as he was giving me oral pleasure he was masturbating himself with one of his hands. I asked him not to come because my naked back and buttocks were due to my position close to his penis. He came anyway and as he did some of the semen was sprayed on my buttocks, that is to say my bottom. A couple of minutes after I cleaned the buttocks area. I am concerned that some of that fluid found its way to my rectal mucosa and was absorbed by it. He told me he was negative, but that's a useless statement, I know. Should I be worried? Maybe ask for PEP? What are the chances of an HIV or STD infection?

PS: there was no penetration. I just sat on his torso while he performed oral sex on me and with one of his bands masturbated himself.

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