Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen

[AlanBama]

very well-stated by Joel.

jg's right Ron, you are probably a lot stronger than you realize or give yourself credit for.  I know I was (am).    Folks'll be amazed at what they can do when they HAVE to.

hugs to you,

Alan  

PS - sometimes I get a case of the "whineys" and one of my good friends has to bitch-slap me back into reality.    They're like "Bitch, you worked full time with no T cells for YEARS, so don't complain about feeling bad now".
I'm glad I have someone in my life like that, and hope you do too.   We've got several here willing to step in, I'm sure.....

[aztecan]

Ron,

I think Joel said it beautifully, as did JG and Alan.

So, remember, you are a pretty amazing fellow who has helped and affected many people's lives in a positive way.

HUGS,

Mark

[rondrond]

Oh Joel,

I can't put it into words...

At the end of every conversation/meeting with Mom, I say I love You and she says I love You, and we hug....

Mom knows that I appreciate her as I send her everything I write, she is my inspiration. ...she is always there....

...which is the source of my despair..I can't ever imagine her not being here....

I have had a good life, even though I think of what would have happened if I had just 'flounced' out the door that day and went on my merry way....

Uncle Ronnie and the twins..Daniel/blond  Dewayne/brunette



ronnie/Bobby, Katie, Dewayne, Robert, Daniel



I am grateful for my life and the part I have played in the Katie and the boys lives.

I am a Gay Man, and I miss my Gay life. I have attracted many men, yet none have stood the test of:

 I have a curfew.

I have HIV. I have met other men who are POZ, and the one I attract are in denial. They drink and do drugs. They smoke like a chimney...and then wonder why they feel so bad.... I ran.  I have met those who are Neg and want to be POZ...I ran.

I have responsibilities at home.. I have a disabled sister. It was worse when the boys were younger. I took them with me wherever I went. I must confess, I used them to drive away undesirables. Their driving away everyone else just happened.

I can go out now that they have moved out, but I've discovered that being Gay in the 70's and 80's is NOTHING like being Gay today. I don't fit in.

I fail on the eligible listing of:

Do you have  your own place to live?

Do you live alone?.................................X

Do you have  your own car?

Do you have a job?..............................X

Do you have any diseases?....................X

3 strikes and I'm out. I'm left sitting pushing the stool  to the floor, drinking my one drink, listening to the music, and then going home alone.

I have to ask myself where I'm at in my life everyday....then I go from there, no two days are alike....

[rondrond]

very well-stated by Joel.

jg's right Ron, you are probably a lot stronger than you realize or give yourself credit for.  I know I was (am).    Folks'll be amazed at what they can do when they HAVE to.

hugs to you,

Alan   

PS - sometimes I get a case of the "whineys" and one of my good friends has to bitch-slap me back into reality.    They're like "Bitch, you worked full time with no T cells for YEARS, so don't complain about feeling bad now".
I'm glad I have someone in my life like that, and hope you do too.   We've got several here willing to step in, I'm sure.....

thanks Alan..I call it 'controlled hysteria'...

and  yes, this is not the first time Joel and jg have cut me off at the pass....  "just..not the face...please.."

[rondrond]

Ron,

I think Joel said it beautifully, as did JG and Alan.

So, remember, you are a pretty amazing fellow who has helped and affected many people's lives in a positive way.

HUGS,

Mark

thank you Mark.

It's just that sometimes it seems that I might just shoulda kept my mouth shut. After an intense one on one with Daniel, Katie will say.."yes, you were right, you're always right, but did you have to tell him how wrong he was?"

[denb45]

I can go out now that they have moved out, but I've discovered that being Gay in the 70's and 80's is NOTHING like being Gay today. I don't fit in.

I fail on the eligible listing of:

Do you have  your own place to live?

Do you live alone?.................................X

Do you have  your own car?

Do you have a job?..............................X

Do you have any diseases?....................X

3 strikes and I'm out. I'm left sitting pushing the stool  to the floor, drinking my one drink, listening to the music, and then going home alone.

I have to ask myself where I'm at in my life everyday....then I go from there, no two days are alike....

 Being Gay in the 70's and 80's is NOTHING like being Gay today. I don't fit in.

I fail on the eligible listing of:

Do you have  your own place to live? YES

Do you live alone? NO

Do you have  your own car? YES

Do you have a job? NO

Do you have any diseases? YES

Ronnie you're not alone.......I don't fit in, I have never fit in........even tho I try to, I don't, YES I live with my otherhalf BOB, we are both disabled
and most all of our peers can't or won't deal with that............so, we both DON'T FIT IN, and because of this we have NO FRIENDS........when I worked, it was my whole life, I had FRIENDS, I was happy...............life was good untill I GOT SICK, then my life changed FORVEVER!!!..........and here's the real sad part........speaking of my HIV+ Peers (the local Guys that have HIV) none of them talk to me cuz, I'm in a discordant relationship (with someone who's NOT POZ)......maybe they are all jealous? I don't know? but, most of them want a romp-in-the-hay, but I'm not interested in that, so, I have no FRIENDS because of those things I just mentioned.......at least you have a supporting family....it's a lot worse for me ronnie...........so, I don't think you have it so bad, as you might think you do.....as for dating and someone for you, you have a lot to offer, and you would make a GREAT husband/boyfriend/lover to more than you even think    Id say you have it pretty dam good compaired to most of us here on this forum............even tho you may be lonely.........your life isn't all that bad as you make it sound hon 

[bear60]

Denb.....I can sure relate to what you say about:   NOT FITTING IN.
Guys
This is my last post until next weerk.  Kurt and I are in Cape May (NJ) and the person who owns this computer is leaving today with computer in hand.
Long story short:
Since I am not among the "RICH" folks, I make do as I can. So, as a way to  get a week at the shore, I trade services with the person who owns this house. Kurt and I were here last year.  He gets his "beach fix" and its a nice getaway for both of us.  Last year he was in a lot of pain because of his knee and could not walk in sand.  This year he has a new tiitanium knee and can navigate the worst terrain.  Its nice to see him doing well.
Last night we went out to dinner at a really good restaurant (BUT not expensive), and played Scrable. Simple pleasures.
Lois, our dear friend, joined us for 4 days ......she has the computer.
So we will be here for the rest of the week and no computer and no cell phones and only a phone that is for local calling ( to order pizza!!!).
Thats what we used to do on vacation....get away from it all.  I dont get it any more with people who are attached to their cells phones.  Another acquaintence of ours stopped by to pay us a visit.  He walked in with laptop...set it up on the kitchen table ....got on his email and started getting calls on his cell phone.  In between doing "business" he visited with us. Then....when  he left I sort of wondered what just had happened.  Did he visit with us really?
So...see you next week.  Ron....take care of yourself.

[Jeff G]

One of the many things I have in common with Ronnie is my past , working in a bar for years coupled with my history of drug abuse makes who I choose to associate with a factor .

I no longer wish to be a part of any situation that involves drug use or even places where people drink more than one or two alcoholic beverages . I often remind myself when I'm lonely that I made a healthy choice when I decided to make changes in my life to avoid fair weather friends hell bent on destruction . At one point I realized with this kind of change comes uncomfortable growing pains .

Its taken awhile but I'm beginning to make friends with people with values , quality people that makes for friendships that are healthy and positive .

 

[rondrond]

 Being Gay in the 70's and 80's is NOTHING like being Gay today. I don't fit in.

I fail on the eligible listing of:

Do you have  your own place to live? YES

Do you live alone? NO

Do you have  your own car? YES

Do you have a job? NO

Do you have any diseases? YES

Ronnie you're not alone.......I don't fit in, I have never fit in........even tho I try to, I don't, YES I live with my otherhalf BOB, we are both disabled
and most all of our peers can't or won't deal with that............so, we both DON'T FIT IN, and because of this we have NO FRIENDS........when I worked, it was my whole life, I had FRIENDS, I was happy...............life was good untill I GOT SICK, then my life changed FORVEVER!!!..........and here's the real sad part........speaking of my HIV+ Peers (the local Guys that have HIV) none of them talk to me cuz, I'm in a discordant relationship (with someone who's NOT POZ)......maybe they are all jealous? I don't know? but, most of them want a romp-in-the-hay, but I'm not interested in that, so, I have no FRIENDS because of those things I just mentioned.......at least you have a supporting family....it's a lot worse for me ronnie...........so, I don't think you have it so bad, as you might think you do.....as for dating and someone for you, you have a lot to offer, and you would make a GREAT husband/boyfriend/lover to more than you even think    Id say you have it pretty dam good compaired to most of us here on this forum............even tho you may be lonely.........your life isn't all that bad as you make it sound hon 

dennis,
why can't you live next door? Why do all the wonderful people I can connect to here on the forums, have to live outside of my neighborhood?

I am on my pity pot. I miss my friends, and this has been triggered by JW's illness and my knowing that our lives are going to change again. I'm  in an adjustment period. It's allowed. I miss going two blocks down to my bestest friend Marty. Sometimes, I would have to make a stop for reinforcements, especially Ray,....

knockknockkcnock....??.."he must not be in?..."f**that, he's here"....and I pull out a key and open the door, being greeted by 4 doggies, who were glad to see us....."dang it's dark in here, Marty, you cheap sob, turn on a light" ...

and a lamp would come on and Ray would head for the kitchen,claiming that he was hungry...feed me....Marty loved to cook, and seemed to only want to eat when he was cooking for others....

And Marty would jump up from the chair he had been sitting in, in the dark, alone...and we would pull out the cards or some new game Marty had found, that no body knew the rules to but him.....

Marty was especially bummed out. He used to vbe a phlebotomist and had been infected by a needle stick by a patient. When tested, Marty went straight to diagnosis AIDS.....he also would not take meds as he believed that AIDS was a conspiracy to rid the world of us....and that the meds were part two of an insidious plot...

Ray and I would just look at each other....our sweet, beautiful Marty....we were not only friends, but worked together at the bar, and he insisted on living his life like there would be no tomorrow...he lived it hard, partied hard, ...Ray and i would have to hold him back sometimes and be there when he overdid it and couldn't get up the next day, sometimes the next....

"Where's Daniel"...it was summer and Marty had promised the boys that he would teach them how to play 'disc golf' after we all went swimming at Burger's Lake...Ray could be heard in the fridge in the kitchen..."feed me"...Marty ran to the kitchen...slapping Ray's hands to get out that....it's for dessert....

After eating a scrumptious meal..Marty was an excellent cook, ....we would go by my house, pick up the boys and headed for the lake...

Marty died, in San Francisco. There was a gorup htere he had found that fueled his conspiracy beliefs. While there, he had found a doctor, who had a new treatment ...he did not survive the treatment...or whatever... alll I know is my Marty was gone....

[denb45]

dennis,
why can't you live next door? Why do all the wonderful people I can connect to here on the forums, have to live outside of my neighborhood?

Ronnie I wish I did live next door to you, you sound like a wonderful person, I'd be very happy to have you as my neighbor.......you & katie would like Bob & me, we cook, and stay home most of the time, were nice guys too  ............but, I can at least come here and read the things you post, I enjoy them, keep posting PLEASE...........your FANS are waiting for whatever you have to say next, we all look forward to it EVERY DAY 

[rondrond]

Denb.....I can sure relate to what you say about:   NOT FITTING IN.
Guys
This is my last post until next weerk.  Kurt and I are in Cape May (NJ) and the person who owns this computer is leaving today with computer in hand.
Long story short:
Since I am not among the "RICH" folks, I make do as I can. So, as a way to  get a week at the shore, I trade services with the person who owns this house. Kurt and I were here last year.  He gets his "beach fix" and its a nice getaway for both of us.  Last year he was in a lot of pain because of his knee and could not walk in sand.  This year he has a new tiitanium knee and can navigate the worst terrain.  Its nice to see him doing well.
Last night we went out to dinner at a really good restaurant (BUT not expensive), and played Scrable. Simple pleasures.
Lois, our dear friend, joined us for 4 days ......she has the computer.
So we will be here for the rest of the week and no computer and no cell phones and only a phone that is for local calling ( to order pizza!!!).
Thats what we used to do on vacation....get away from it all.  I dont get it any more with people who are attached to their cells phones.  Another acquaintence of ours stopped by to pay us a visit.  He walked in with laptop...set it up on the kitchen table ....got on his email and started getting calls on his cell phone.  In between doing "business" he visited with us. Then....when  he left I sort of wondered what just had happened.  Did he visit with us really?
So...see you next week.  Ron....take care of yourself.

I love beaches, making sand castles. Enjoy your vacation. have a safe trip and we'll talk to you next week.

[rondrond]

One of the many things I have in common with Ronnie is my past , working in a bar for years coupled with my history of drug abuse makes who I choose to associate with a factor .

I no longer wish to be a part of any situation that involves drug use or even places where people drink more than one or two alcoholic beverages . I often remind myself when I'm lonely that I made a healthy choice when I decided to make changes in my life to avoid fair weather friends hell bent on destruction . At one point I realized with this kind of change comes uncomfortable growing pains .

Its taken awhile but I'm beginning to make friends with people with values , quality people that makes for friendships that are healthy and positive .

 

In the 70's 80's , my coming out, and living as a gay man meant that you lived your Gay life at/through the bars. It's where you met and made friends, lovers, and pickups. Even events scheduled outside the bar, originated from the bar...most parades, started and ended at the bar. Everytime you found yourself lonely...go to the bar.

This was my indoctrination into Gay life and how I lived most of my gay life and I find that I am criticized by th 'new gay community' for just living the only way I knew how. Today, there are a lot more options, but because of what I've been through, I find that I am not accepted in most of todays gay social circles...publicly.  In private, these same critics, want to swing from the trees with me...and become upset when I only advise caution and discretion.

luv ya jg

[denb45]

In the 70's 80's , my coming out, and living as a gay man meant that you lived your Gay life at/through the bars. It's where you met and made friends, lovers, and pickups. Even events scheduled outside the bar, originated from the bar...most parades, started and ended at the bar. Everytime you found yourself lonely...go to the bar.

This was my indoctrination into Gay life and how I lived most of my gay life and I find that I am criticized by th 'new gay community' for just living the only way I knew how. Today, there are a lot more options, but because of what I've been through, I find that I am not accepted in most of todays gay social circles...publicly.  In private, these same critics, want to swing from the trees with me...and become upset when I only advise caution and discretion.

luv ya jg

I feel the same way you do ( I'm 52) but, you must admit, the past is the past.........it's gone forever......never to return..........EVER..........let the past DIE...........and begin something NEW, you'd be suprized just what that can be, and what it means to many others 

[rondrond]

Knocking at the door woke me up at 11am. It was Charlotte. I guess her back pain is under control. Katie was still in bed too, so I left them to it.

I had my follow up for my Oral Surgery. There must be a lot of bad teeth in Fort Worth because there were people standing against the walls. I was one of them. I was hoping the line would move pretty quickly as my leg started to swell and turn shiny red. People started noticing it.

To my relief, a lady came with a roster of names and took almost half the crowd with her. I don't know where. All I saw was vacant seats, which I immediately sank in and after taking one deep breath of relief, got right back up as my name was called. ..typical.

This Doctor was even younger than the one who had performed the surgery. I swear he looked to 19 or 20. I know that I am not good at people's ages, but.....he was young. Ran his gloved fingers along my gum line and declared that the tiny hard marble I was feeling was just bone and nothing to worry about. I was in the waiting lounge for 30 minutes. In the actual exam room for 5 minutes.

The next time I have a follow up and I am feeling..ok...I will save my $20.00 copay and stay at home.

So I am driving and see a reminder for State Inspections and mine is due, so I zipped in and had my yearly oil change/State Inspection. This must be a bad year for cashiers.

This lady kept freezing the computer, and they had to keep calling for one of the mechanics who knew how to fix it...They were watching him, you would think they would pick it up as it happened 3 times before she got to me. There were 4 people before me and we were in the lounge and I started getting nervous as ...

...nobody was passing the inspection for one reason or another. This poor kid. He had a semi-new Celica, 2000,, and it was decked out with all the accessories...beautiful. It didn't pass. Turns out he had only had it for three weeks. I told him that I would take it back and have the dealer get it inspected...it didn't pass because of.something to do with the battery having been disconnected and something not being reset afterwards.??...

..after paying, the woman told me to have a nice day and I was.."it's already done?" and she affirmed "yes"...and these guys were still in the lounge that had been there ahead of me.

I put it down to they were having problems getting inspected and drove off. One mile down the road, I noticed that the number "08" was still showing as the year.?? and got all flustered and suddenly, I didn't know what year it was, but something kept saying it already 2008..

So I called Katie while executing a somewhat illegal U-Turn in front of Ridgmar Mall before the light through one of those rush hour traffic road rage paths made across a medium.. I figured I could use it even though I wasn't in road rage but consumer rage..

...and she verified that it was already 2008. I pulled in and this mechanic came out thinking I was going to have some complaint, and I did. I pointed to the sticker and he thought that I had just arrived wanting an inspection...

I spluttered that I had already paid for one and had not received my sticker. So, after showing my receipt, he took it to the inspection bay and I was greeted by my former cellmates..err..loungemates....with raised questioning eyebrows....

Got my 2009 sticker, which I looked at cautiously, like twice before driving off...and decided to go to the store real quick to pick up a few things...while I was out and driving that way....another $51.00 fill-up. I just can't get used to it. Those number just leap, and bound and I swear they skip a few...

I had just mailed off last months payment to the gas company...at least I only fill-up once a month....

I got a notice from Dr G for an appointment on the 15th @1pm...I hate afternoon appointments, especially right after the lunch hour...I'm always waiting for them to get back from lunch...

So,  after waiting for a month, I should get my ECHO and hopefully my Pulmonary Stress test on this one visit. She is already going to get an earful on how my leg has been tingling like a beehive and going completely numb from hip to toe. I'm going to be pushing to see a cardiovascular specialist, which she ignored last visit. knockknockknock..."hello in there...I'm telling you there is something WRONG here"..

I am already thinking that they are dragging out these appointments to one thing at a time to get these co-pays...

Then the next day on the 16th, I have my appointment with my ID, Dr D and should have a new set of numbers .....I sure hope those numbers move a little faster than the last time. 

 She is going to get an earful on my rash...why do symptoms appear in between visits?....by the time I get to see the doctor, I'm symptom free...

The boys' birthdays are all at the end of this month. Robert will be 30, and the twins 27. ...I am not only getting old, but ancient.

[Robert]

...nobody was passing the inspection for one reason or another. This poor kid. He had a semi-new Celica, 2000,, and it was decked out with all the accessories...beautiful. It didn't pass. Turns out he had only had it for three weeks. I told him that I would take it back and have the dealer get it inspected...it didn't pass because of.something to do with the battery having been disconnected and something not being reset afterwards.??...

Ronnie..

I had to get a new battery the other day.  While I was there I asked them to "inspect" the car as it's due by the end of the month. They said the same thing.  Because it's a new battery they had to reset something, blah, blah blah.   They told me to come back in a week after I had driven 50+ miles and then they could do the inspection.

Beats me.

Happy birthday to the boys. 

good luck with the Drs. 

one of your persistant readers...robt

[OutOfDarkness]

I hope you get some treatments and answers you need from your doc about your leg.  Can you see a specialist or go back to one.  I think DVT would be under cardiovascular or pulmonary specialist.  Good luck, you shouldn't have to suffer like this.

[rondrond]

Ronnie..

I had to get a new battery the other day.  While I was there I asked them to "inspect" the car as it's due by the end of the month. They said the same thing.  Because it's a new battery they had to reset something, blah, blah blah.   They told me to come back in a week after I had driven 50+ miles and then they could do the inspection.

Beats me.

Happy birthday to the boys. 

good luck with the Drs. 

one of your persistant readers...robt

Things are really getting crazy with cars nowadays. I am still waiting for flying cars....

Robert's birthday  on the 27th and the twins on the 28th....weird...but, it has had some real tense moments as family decided that since they were so close together to celebrate all on one day...the 27th...which would cause sibling rivalry to come into play....

There will probably only be an exchange of phone calls as Robert just got married in June to a ready made family, she had two children..and Katie and I haven't even met them yet...

Her ex is in Colorado and they go between...I keep saying..."boy those must be some ugly kids that you must be too embarrassed to bring over here"..

anyway, he's gotten real involved in being a Daddy' figure...Dewayne is always working. He is a manager of a Walgreens Pharmacy and is a workaholic.

Daniel is working construction in some other state, right now I think he is in Oklahoma....it changes, following the circuit...I thought he was going to work on an Oil Derrick in the Gulf outside of Houston, but, then we got a call from Oklahoma....I was glad, because drilling for oil is a dangerous job...lot of people get hurt...like losing body parts, and they call it an accident..

We keep telling him about the gas drilling going on here, with the Chesapeake Company..they have already sent notices and been having meeting with land owners ...apparently Fort Worth is sitting on top of this HUGE gas field...and if you own land, and the mineral rights,. .and your close enough to a gas pocket..woohoo....but then that is dangerous work too...

I keep thinking of a  song...'Hello in There'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSufO2FlpAQ&feature=related

There are some physic people in the world, or, they have some good computer programmers....mail run brought an advert from Rescue Rooter, with two coupons....now how did they know that we were needing a plumber?  Calling them tomorrow....

Was going to weed eat around the yard and ran out of wire. Couldn't find a package of two that I bought last month. I had it in my hand in the dining room....and now it's NO where to be found...I have been through everything, everywhere....except..

the basement...couldn't think why I would have put it down there, but, it wasn't up here...so I decided to give it a go and the key to the basement wasn't in it's designated spot. ....I remember that I busted the seat out of my white shorts, so had thrown them away..and I started to think that I had thrown the key away....trash pickup was on Tuesday...I had mowed the front yard  and was in my camouflage pants..

turning all those pockets out netted me a big fat nothing....started looking in things...where the hell was that key?  After turning the house upside down...called Mom and stated that I needed a copy of her key to the basement...sigh...

Jw is still in the hospital. He has extreme anemia and they can't figure out where or why. Either he is losing blood somewhere they can't find, or his body has stopped making blood.

He has high levels of potassium which is affecting his kidneys so they are giving him Lacex to pee out the excess potassium...

...all this peeing has made him so dehydrated that he can't eat as he states that everything tastes like dust. Even giving him candy doesn't work....cannot keep moisture in his mouth. ...

I asked Mom if she's doing .ok, and stated that she is probably getting lonely being at home alone...

she said "lonely?..who has time to be lonely?...I'm tired"....

[rondrond]

I hope you get some treatments and answers you need from your doc about your leg.  Can you see a specialist or go back to one.  I think DVT would be under cardiovascular or pulmonary specialist.  Good luck, you shouldn't have to suffer like this.

thanks OOD,
I'm guessing there must be some kind of protocol to get to the cardiovascular specialist. When I brought it up, DR G made referrals for an ECHO and the Pulmonary Stress Test...I guess that has to be 'ruled out' first before they send you to a 'higher power'....but I have been know to be a pain in the arrears.. and will bring it up again and at every visit until it happens...

[rondrond]

..*ring ring*..The phone started ringing e-i-e-i-eearly this morning...Those telemarketers are something else.

*ring ring* Then Katie's visiting nurse called and she will be here @4pm to draw Katie's blood.

*ring ring* Then Charlotte called and she has therapy so she won't be here today, BUT, she will come in on Saturday to make it up.

I called the Plumber and she stated that they would call back within two hours. That was at Noon...

at 12:10 *ring ring*  This is the plumber and I will be there within one hour

The kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes (no aide)....my bathroom is not presentable....

"Katie, get up, and take care of business"...I cleaned out from under my bathroom sink and scrubbed the toilet, after ..toileting.

Katie started to wash dishes.

15 minutes later....."Katie, the plumber is here."....

We seem to be running on a tight schedule here..all of a sudden...

I showed him my toilet and sink and there are two black streaks going down the wall....my freshly painted wall, I might add.."that's not good,, I'm going to have to get behind that wall"...

then took him to the kitchen sink....He started looking for a 'P' pipe...??...."huh?"..."There;s no "P" pipe..to control odors...

"It must be in the basement".."oh, you have a basement?".."yes"...

...then he reached under the sink and pulled back red hands...the faucet is rusted out and needs to be replaced....the whole 'shebang'....

I ran to my bedroo
m and popped open the Zantac....

He is writing up the estimate....

"I have these two coupons....can we combine them?"...he did.

"This is the total using a faucet off my truck...this is the total if you go buy one and have me install..."...@.@ 

I have never had any luck running to the Hardware Store and buying the cheapest thing on the bottom shelf. The threading will not fit or it will need a special adaptor to fit this 65 year old piping....

I make a management decision..."we'll take one off the truck". I figure if it don't fit, he'll have to follow the 'Picard directive' to 'make it so'... He brings in two models to choose from....Katie went all giddy...she loves to shop..

We decided on this faucet that you can grab a'hold of and the thing comes out in your hand and makes a sprayer.... o.o

We will have a hole where the old sprayer used to be, but that can be plugged up easily enough...I told Katie we could stick some flowers in it...

[rondrond]

..and now, everything that looks like a pipe and has a hole now brings forth water, and everything that is a dark circle accepts the water and takes it away, and if I push done on the lever....the offering is accepted....

it only took him 4hours....he was a very nice young  man..cute in his own way..(actually everyone is cute if you look at them right) ..he gave a lot of discounts and did not charge for a lot of things he had to do....

He had to go to Lowe's/Home Depot  to get a special tool for the kitchen sink thus justifying my claims that if I had done this, I would have spent all day at the hardware store trying to ''make it so"...upon his return, he also had bought us a plug for the hole that would have been left where the sprayer used to be..no extra charge..what a sweetie pie...

After going into the kitchen and seeing him on his back under the kitchen cabinet sprawled on the floor in front of me...I had to exile myself to the living room and sit on my hands...

Katie's old bathroom used to be the worst as it had a flat sink that hung on the wall...very old stuff, tiny little faucets....the plumbers wouldn't touch it claiming that it wasn't up to CITY CODE to have such archaic plumbing....

besides, they couldn't find parts for something that old...over the years, and especially after the remodel, most of the piping in the basement is no longer this black cast iron looking stuff, but rather now is tidy, white PCP...

So we got a modern, new faucet in the kitchen:




Mom showed up to check on what her money was being spent on and to bring me another key to the basement...

JW has been moved from ICU and into a room.

[OutOfDarkness]

Hi,
Funny you should mention a couple of things.  My refrig is on it's way out and can't get service for a few more days.  So I started wishfully thinking that maybe someone cute will be sent and it's been awhile since I have had an opportunity to flirt with someone. I know exactly what you mean by everyone is cute in their own way, it's all in how you look someone, I agree with that totally.  So I will be living out of a cooler for the next few days.  Oh yeah, I have a faucet just like your new one, it pulls out and you can push a rubber pad to switch the type of pressure?  They're great to have and easy to wash your hair if that's all you need to do.

So you know how it is with all this medical stuff, we all really have to be able to take the time out for ourselves to study medical things, doctors are so busy all of the time and after all they are only human and may overlook something or may not have all of the up to date options.  Hang in there and take care.

[rondrond]

Hi,
Funny you should mention a couple of things.  My refrig is on it's way out and can't get service for a few more days.  So I started wishfully thinking that maybe someone cute will be sent and it's been awhile since I have had an opportunity to flirt with someone. I know exactly what you mean by everyone is cute in their own way, it's all in how you look someone, I agree with that totally.  So I will be living out of a cooler for the next few days.  Oh yeah, I have a faucet just like your new one, it pulls out and you can push a rubber pad to switch the type of pressure?  They're great to have and easy to wash your hair if that's all you need to do.

So you know how it is with all this medical stuff, we all really have to be able to take the time out for ourselves to study medical things, doctors are so busy all of the time and after all they are only human and may overlook something or may not have all of the up to date options.  Hang in there and take care.

Yes, pulls out and has a rubber pad switch...I had to give Katie a quick orientation this morning as she didn't know how to make it work.

Charlotte did not show up today, as promised. I guess her back gave out on her. I've been stuffing clothes in the washer, and I have my 'wonder' bottle of Mr Clean/Febreze .....I am really amazed at how this stuff can clean fabric...especially my computer chair, which I also sit in to eat, and you'd think I would learn to put a napkin in my lap as many time as I've dropped food between my legs...

next chair will be leather....just wipe clean...

Katie had a bad case of the 'dropsies' ....I bought a Trail Mix that had these chocolate morsels and butterscotch morsels and they are tiny and like to leap in the air and land on the carpet....then they have the ability to blend into the carpet and turn invisible....

...they reappear as the wheels to the wheelchair run them over, leaving a lovely smudge...so I have the Mr Clean and the mop ready to mop the carpet before bedtime....this is a new trick for this old dog, introduced by former aide Cookie, who came bustling into the living room once after a spot on the carpet and I watched in amazement as it worked, the spot was gone.... 0.0

She has also tumped her tankard of water over so have to lift the vinyl carpet protector to make sure that the carpet underneath isn't damp...sigh...at least it missed the keyboard and hard drive....

She's bought a CD that says Blue Ray on it and it won't work in the CD player...it can't read it ...This is a brand new Toshiba ..it should read everything ...you just can't keep up with technology....

Th visiting nurse showed up today, instead of yesterday, to draw Katie's blood. Katie hadn't been up very long and when she called and said that she was on the way, started drinking water to 'fluff' her veins. It wasn't enough and the lady couldn't find a producing vein  and after the third stick gave it up.

Then it turned out that she was the new Field Supervisor.. ..and asked if there was anything Katie needed, and Katie was still foggy from the missed attempts, and her meds were still trying to kick in...and she vaguely mentioned chucks, diaper....

and she goes"oh, I have plenty of those in the back of my truck", and zippity do da...we have two cases of big blue chucks, and diapers and Katie gets giddy again as she LOVES to shop....

...so I'm trying to verify just who this person is who has just showed up today bearing gifts....and I ask "are you her new Case Manager?"...and no, but she seems to have these 'powers' and 'connections'...and now I'm reaching through a fog with Katie....

"can you do anything about this new wheelchair business?"..."YES".. o.o ...o.0

So we seem to have got hold of something here...maybe they just received this year's funding....and Katie's got her name and number programmed into the phone so we don't lose it....and we're definitely going to find out just how powerful this woman is who has just popped in from the blue

This has happened a lot lately. You go through some dark times, and then a ray of light breaks through. Then the clouds roll back in and another ray of light breaks through. I am trying to focus on the rays of light and not the dark clouds.

[bear60]

Well Ron....I am back from my "get away" to Cape May and will be around to remind you that your life is pretty damn good all in all.  And here is proof:  your angel in disguise... your new Field Supervisor.

"She's bought a CD that says Blue Ray on it and it won't work in the CD player...it can't read it ...This is a brand new Toshiba ..it should read everything ...you just can't keep up with technology.... "
quote Ron

Ron...this "CD"..... would it be a DVD actually?
 I heard that this is going to be like the old war between VHS and Beta.  You gots to have de right player for dem Blue Rays.
We had a BetaMax and then everything went VHS.....sigh.

[rondrond]

Well Ron....I am back from my "get away" to Cape May and will be around to remind you that your life is pretty damn good all in all.  And here is proof:  your angel in disguise... your new Field Supervisor.

"She's bought a CD that says Blue Ray on it and it won't work in the CD player...it can't read it ...This is a brand new Toshiba ..it should read everything ...you just can't keep up with technology.... "
quote Ron

Ron...this "CD"..... would it be a DVD actually?
 I heard that this is going to be like the old war between VHS and Beta.  You gots to have de right player for dem Blue Rays.
We had a BetaMax and then everything went VHS.....sigh.

well, at least I knew that it ended in a 'D' 
We still have beta tapes of the boys lives from birth to @4years old. When, 'let's look at old pictures mode hits', they would get depresed thinking that we didn't think much of them to not have pictures of them..have actually found someone who converted them to VHS (for a price)...

Now the boys are in awe and wonder as they demand to know who is that woman that is walking, and ??running?? and laughing..."yes, that's your mother, Katie, and yes she did walk and run, she was a PE Major"...

[rondrond]

Well Ron....I am back from my "get away" to Cape May and will be around to remind you that your life is pretty damn good all in all.  And here is proof:  your angel in disguise... your new Field Supervisor.

"She's bought a CD that says Blue Ray on it and it won't work in the CD player...it can't read it ...This is a brand new Toshiba ..it should read everything ...you just can't keep up with technology.... "
quote Ron

Ron...this "CD"..... would it be a DVD actually?
 I heard that this is going to be like the old war between VHS and Beta.  You gots to have de right player for dem Blue Rays.
We had a BetaMax and then everything went VHS.....sigh.

oh, I forgot, Welcome back....it was sounding like y'all were having a pretty good time there.

[bear60]

Hi Ron
Thanks for the welcome back.

Cape May was quiet.  In a word....no gay night life.  We had to make our own.
 Well, so  we played with costume jewelry and board games and laughed a bit.  But no gay bars and no dancing till 2 am.  Sigh....thats all a thing of the past for us,  ..... pretty much.  Anyway there are no gay bars in Cape May.
I may post a photo later.

[rondrond]

Bought the replacement spool for the weed eater to replace the one that mysteriously disappeared...then sat around for two days as it was cloudy and I thought it was going to rain....it didn't.

Lined 5 bottles up next to the phone to call in refills. Sometimes it's all 7, some times 2...they just seem to get emptier faster these days, I could have sworn I just did this last week.

Somethings not right with my stomach. I can get a full feeling after just a couple of bites. I go ahead and eat, not believing how full I get from so little.

It has been so hot that I can feel it outside trying to get in. I also think that I am running a low grade fever as I feel hot and clammy, yet I know that the A/C is on and the fans is going..... 

I will be feeling all hot, then I will feel cool. Yet, it is in different areas, not all over. Early this morning I awoke and my left side of my face was warm, yet my legs and toes were freezing.

I stopped having night sweats after starting the Truvada/Viramune. So it must be some kind of fever....I feel clammy and my underarms will get moist so I have to change my shirt...

I feel 'oily' and I am constantly splashing water on my face as it feels dirty...

I have discovered a rough patch of skin on the side of my left foot (not the DVT side) and what's weird is that I can't see it...but I sure can feel it.

 Then Katie mentioned that she had a rough patch on her arm...same scenario...

We still haven't made it to get our haircuts. Have resorted to pulling out my hat collection. I never thought of it before as a collection, and never realized just how many hats I have accumulated.

I have an appointment with Dr G tomorrow.

[bear60]

"We still haven't made it to get our haircuts. Have resorted to pulling out my hat collection. I never thought of it before as a collection, and never realized just how many hats I have accumulated."

Hi Ron...I was just wondering where you are today?  Out getting a haircut? Hope you're ok .
By the way.......Kurt and I invested in a pair of clippers and attachments and have learned how to cut each others hair.

[Jeff G]

Hey bear... I already pm'ed him and told him we need our Ronnie fix for the day .

I got one of those trimmers , its hard for me to use by myself . I have get someone to do the back for me every time . 

[denb45]

"We still haven't made it to get our haircuts. Have resorted to pulling out my hat collection. I never thought of it before as a collection, and never realized just how many hats I have accumulated."

Hi Ron...I was just wondering where you are today?  Out getting a haircut? Hope you're ok .
By the way.......Kurt and I invested in a pair of clippers and attachments and have learned how to cut each others hair.

Yeah.......Bob & I have a pair as well, we have been cutting and trimming each other(s) hair FOR YEARS, Bob uses them a lot more than I ever do
I'm BALD, but they work great as beard trimmers....................maybe Ronnie taking a break form posting 

[Winiroo]

It rained real hard here last night. The electricity was out for a while.
He could be busy ?

Of course just because it rained at my house doesnt mean he got any. He lives roughly an hour south west of my city.

[rondrond]

My computer was hijacked by an insidious virus alert and a full system scan was called for....unfortunately these take HOURS...and use of the computer is absolutely impossible....

I haven't used my computer all day... after HOURS of waiting... the results:  it detected...nothing... ...typical

I swear sometimes it's just lonely....

I don't dare not let it do it's thing as I hate to think of the consequences...

So Monday I went to see Dr G and the place is PACKED....It took me 10 minutes just to get to the sign in book, and as I was signing in....the receptionist waves at me to just go down the hall to the left....

Dr G is to the right..??...must have looked helpless enough for her to ask "you are with the "Quit Smoking Group?"...."no, if I was here in a group, it would be the 'I Don't Smoke Group'...I'm here to see Dr G"...

After a 10 minute wait, my name is called along with a litany of 12 others and we are sent to reception area down the hall that has just opened to handle the overflow....So, I am standing in this line that is growing longer by the minute....and..

they open another overflow window and I am waved through a door and get to the receptionist....I hand her my letter confirming my appointment and she starts to talking nonsense.....I refocus and concentrate on her mouth that is repeating "this appointment is for AUGUST 15th....this is July"...??...I leave, very embarrassed and not worrying about my cognitive skills...or the lack thereof...

so, I go to the store and when I get home, Charlotte has already left and I can't help but notice that the floor had not been vacuumed and the kitchen not mopped....I only notice it as...

Katie is at the computer and I sit on the arm of the couch and turn my leg to show the bottom of my foot which is turning black from walking on a DIRTY floor...Katie gets the message....then Charlotte gets the message....then Jessie gets the message....

So,today I go to my appointment with Dr D.. and it's a RL(Real Life) event and it happens. I get my new numbers which I have posted in the signature line and I appear to be doing pretty good. 

My blood pressure is still doing good  134/85 

My weight SUCKS....263....I have done nothing different..still eat the same amount of food and my belt is still at the third notch. (Last month it was at the 'suck in gut' first notch)  Then she notices that my foot and leg are really swollen and that part of the weight gain could be attributed to my edema....I'm retaining too much water...ergo, I'm drinking too much water....but, I'm so thirsty....  

she has also noted that my shoulder appear to be broader, (to her) and that I could have some muscle gain, which could cause a weight increase...we have to ruminate on this weight thing....could be the meds....(need to look in mirror and check butt )

could be all of the above....

She gave me a new cream for the weird patch of dry skin on my foot..Triamcinolone Acetonide Cream. (I can pronounce it IF I have to) 

Then decided I needed another TB test. I'm sitting there waiting for this 'prick' thing that I remember from the last time....in comes this girl and right off I notice that she is carrying an orange capped needle...which I am very familiar with from my drug days and I say "you've got a needle'....

and she says "Yes, it's for the TB test....so I shut down my brain and she turns my arm up and injects this stuff in my arm and I smell and taste it and it's just like when I used to shoot up with meth and I don't feel well....the taste is in my mouth and then I start bleeding....

and she gives me a cotton ball, and I start applying pressure, and I'm sitting there not feeling well...I don't know why....I have never had problems with drawing my blood, I will even show them where to stick it...but those are butterfly needles...it was just that orange cap and the color of whatever was in it, and the taste and smell....

I was dizzy and Jason came in and stopped me from applying pressure and had me dab at it until it stopped bleeding and kept asking if I was alright...and I finally pulled it together enough to function....

I have to go in Friday to show them my arm...PT/INR next week, and labs in three months....Dr D is very happy with my last lab results...I haven't thought about it, I can't get that orange cap out of my mind ....I stopped and bought a bag of pretzels to get the taste out of my mouth...

I can't believe my reaction to this shot. It has been too many years. I have told my story to people and groups and have never had nightmares or anything....I have been clean since 1988.

I got home and Katie had Jessie vacuuming and mopping so I would know that it had been done....all I wanted to do was lie down and go to sleep...

[rondrond]

Great.....my belly is itching, no bumps, just itching. My armpits are sore. I've been shot by an invisible arrow in my left shoulder blade. It hurts to pick up my left arm.

I have drafted a plan of action for today to make the best use of my gas mileage. Katie needs to stop at the bank. Then I go to PMC and get show my arm....TB test=negative.

Then we  finally go and get our haircuts.

I continue rubbing in this anti itch cream and now, I think that after two days, it is going to go away.

We get home at 3pm and I go straight to sleep and wake up at 630pm. Take meds and suffer the agony of cooking dinner. Once again, I swear I am allergic to the kitchen.  I wonder if my legs could just break off, they hurt so bad....after dinner we are watching 'Dr Who' and I realize that Dr Who was Barty Crouch Jr in a Harry Potter movie.


Katie has been taping season premieres using the TV in the bedroom and we have caught up on Saving Grace, Burn Notice, The Closer, and The Middleman.

I have discovered a show on the Discovery Channel  called 'Dirty Jobs' with Mike Rowe. I have always just skipped over it thinking that I wouldn't like it and ...I like it. What a cutie and he's funny. Reminds me of some of the things I've had to do to survive.  He has a favorite saying that I like.."I've been in some bad places....this is another one."

[Winiroo]

I have discovered a show on the Discovery Channel  called 'Dirty Jobs' with Mike Rowe. I have always just skipped over it thinking that I wouldn't like it and ...I like it. What a cutie and he's funny. Reminds me of some of the things I've had to do to survive.  He has a favorite saying that I like.."I've been in some bad places....this is another one."

He is yummy

[rondrond]

The itching across my belly has finally stopped. I still have an ache in my left back shoulder blade.

I selected a hat to wear to the store. My hair has not grown out enough from the haircut on Saturday. They always ask "how do you want your hair?" and I always say "just a trim, I don't want to look like a chipmunk.."....

So, 'Chipmunk ronnie' is at the store, looking good in his hat,  and it is hot outside...100 degrees with promises of 101 for the next two days. I am still feeling the heat from outside and in contrast, my feet feel like I am walking on ice cubes...square, sharp, cold ice cubes....

One of the handicapped carts goes by with 3 children and mom and pop have abandoned it in the middle of the aisle looking at something....

I then remember the sensation of boiling water on skin, and that is more like what I am feeling in my feet. Not to be left out, my outer thighs turn to wood and I feel like a robot that needs a good oiling....I almost made the decision to stop and head for the truck, but was inspired down the furniture aisle, where I found this guy taking a good nap...ZZZzzzz..asnort...

I decided to join him, pretending that I was checking out the comfort of a chair

All of a sudden, it seemed that half the store had to come down this aisle and stare, so I got up, and as one of the lights had burned out in the refrigerator, headed for the light bulbs..and ...

there were no regular appliance bulbs...only the energy misers, in packages of three for $10.00...but guaranteed for 9 years.... I just knew that this would happen....forcing us to use these bulbs....oh, well, the fridge happens to have three lights, and they will all probably start blowing now that I have replacements... 

..and boy was it hot....I got home and sat under a fan for twenty minutes, and went to sleep. Awoke and took my 6pm meds, which I have to remember to call in at least two RX tomorrow....I swear I called in 5 refills last week, but only got two....I wonder if the mailperson delivered HIV meds to a wrong address if they would be stupid enough to try them?.....

You would think that that they would have you sign for delivery of stuff like that....but, I don't want to jeopardize getting mail delivery because it sure does save driving downtown and waiting....

So, when calling in I guess I'm going have to take a chance of shotting myself in the foot and ask if they sent the missing three out, as I did not get them....

Cooking dinner I was bent over getting a pan from down under and rising up got real dizzy and my sinuses started burning....Dizzy stopped, but the burn in the back of my throat didn't....

So, when sitting down to dinner, I wasn't feeling good and after two bite, food stopped going down, and I drank some green tea to help it down, instead I turned into 'old Faithful, and had to run to the bathroom and threw up. This was a surprise as I've been doing pretty good on the swallowing thing so have not been taking the Zantac....

I guess now, I will have to ..cannot get over the feeling that I got water up my nose for the duration of the evening...

The only thing on TV worth watching is 'In Plain Sight'....I just knew that her sister was making a play for the boyfriend, that drop dead gorgeous Raphael (Christian de la Fuente)....he was gorgeous with the long hair, and now the short hair, and ummm,umm,ummm,

http://www.usanetwork.com/series/inplainsight/video/

[bear60]

I suppose you have said something about this in a previous post...but which do you have...dish TV or cable?  I am seeing a slowly but surely expanding offering of movies and some prime time shows on the ON DEMAND channel.

Hows the tummy today?

[rondrond]

I suppose you have said something about this in a previous post...but which do you have...dish TV or cable?  I am seeing a slowly but surely expanding offering of movies and some prime time shows on the ON DEMAND channel.

Hows the tummy today?

Hi Joel,

The Zantac is doing it's job.

We have cable. It is this in between time of season finales and season premieres.....they take so long...and we just go from famine to feast...

tonight we had both TV's going recording on different channels. We used to stay up after midnite watching everything...

now...we watch them during 'dry' periods...

I refilled my RX's today. then I 'took charge' of my care management and called the dentist again to see if they had hired a new dental technician...
They had, so I got an appointment for deep cleaning...and he did state that it would be 'intense'....@.@

...and that it would take two sessions so I was scheduled for another appointment the following week...and these are September 9th and 16th....oh great...I thought...

as I have my EKG scheduled for the 10th...I should be in an excellent state for that....

I'm supposed to check with my Dr  about if I need to stop my Warfarin for this procedure as he stated that they would be going pretty deep under the gums.. 0.0

I'm already thinking.."Yikes...maybe I should just do some extra flossing"....as this is starting to sound like it's going to HURT.....a lot....and he then states that he looking at my XRays and that my teeth look pretty good and that I probably won't need to stop the Warfarin...that I probably won't bleed too much...o.0

I hope they have a hammer, or laughing gas...lot's of gas...though I only remember hearing him say they would 'numb'.....I already know that that 'numb' don't work too well.....and he's reading my mind, and saying" you are going to come, aren't you?...cause these appointments are hard to come by"..

so, I agree to be there, thinking maybe If I find two straps they could strap me down so I don't hurt anyone...*-*  ..and I have almost two months to dwell on it....great

[rondrond]

ring..ring...ring...ring...no name, just a number...I don't pick up thinking it's a telemarketer and then a voice I recognize comes through on the answering machine. It's my little sister.

She never calls, especially at 8am...she should be at work...The message was "when's the last time you talked to Mom?"....I get nervous, and immediately dial Moms number and get a busy signal.

Redial and busy signal...redial...call operator and ask them to check the line.....Mom has changed to Carter through the cable com[any and ATT can't do it anymore??....

Katie is waking up as I am calling Terry. She can't get through either. JW was just moved to a Rehabilitation Center yesterday and is doing alright...to my knowledge. Terry is gettin a busy signal also....

I start getting dressed and head for Mom's while Terry calls Kindred Hospital/Rehabilitation. Mom is not there and there is no answer in JW's room. ..??..

Both vehicles are in the driveway. I ring the bell and thankfully see a shadow in the glass by the door. Mom answer the door in her house coat and slippers...."are you alright?"...she is on her cell phone talking to Charter...

Apparently they just had to reset her signal??...Everything is ok. JW is ok..they moved him to another room as they are remodeling and he was in a room that they were doing next.

My stomach is all in knots....my meds have kicked in full force and I can only hug her and say "you need to call your daughters....they are freaking out."...(as was I)....

We visited for two hours, and then she needed to take a shower and head out to visit JW...

On the way home I decide to have a Jack in the Box Ultimate Breakfast moment and pull in....I've got to get something in my stomach to mix with these meds...much better....

[bear60]

I fixed my a BIG bowl of oatmeal ( Original kind...not that silly instant stuff) foe breakfast this morning cause my stomach has been in knots over ......finances. 
When my Mom was not doing well last year before she died.....I had to give up calling her phone number because she no longer was able to pick up the phone. If I wanted to speak to her I had to call the floor "desk" and get someone to put her on. She would be out wandering the halls or in some sort of hallucination and not pick up.  So....Ron..... be glad your Mom has the ability to use the damn cell phone........ and then be glad you are close enough to her so that you can hop in a car and check up on her.  AND be glad you have a car.  Oh I guess I had my little rant didnt I.
My Mom was 800 miles away. I couldnt just go check on her.

[rondrond]

I'm sorry you no longer have your Mom.

I;m sorry you think I don't appreciate my Mom..

I'm sorry  my Mom is 72 and still has all her brain and body functions..and is still independent and living her own life...

Im sorry I still have money...

I'm sorry I have a car...

I'm sorry my family is close and loves me regardless of my HIV and being Gay...

I'm sorry that you think I am a spoiled brat who doesn't have anything to complain about....

I'm sorry, that I don't 'fit in' and meet your criteria to be here...

I'm sorry that all of the above is just starting to fall apart and that I have not experienced all that you have...yet...

[bear60]

Ron
We all have our baggage to carry around.  Since you feel its ok to show us some of your baggage .....and it IS ok to do that......I felt it ok to show some of mine.

I know you appreciate your MOM or you wouldnt have rushed over to check up on her.  I just wish I could have done that for my Mom.

Joel
modified to add: I( think what is at the core of my feelings and what I am trying to say is that you and I have so much compared to so many. You and I, Ron, are very lucky to have loving families and a roof over our head and so on.  I am still recovering from the loss of my Mom, so if I fly off the handle a bit, just ignore me.
and as for this:
quote you "I'm sorry, that I don't 'fit in' and meet your criteria to be here..."
nothing could be farther from the feelings I have for you Ron. I really respect what you have been through and what you are doing to help your sister.  You have more right to be here than I do.

[rondrond]

Joel,

We're good...

I just ran so many scenarios in my head driving over there, and then seeing both vehicles there ran a whole 'nother' set of scenarios each one getting worse....up to and including I thought that I was going to have to break in as I forgot my key....and my last scenario was her having slipped in the tub and knocking herself out...

which has never happened...but I have a very good imagination...

Mom is very healthy but she is 72, and I have only started seeing her that way in the past 2 months ....

"The disadvantage of reading something online is not seeing your face, or hearing your tone of voice as you are saying it...

reading about *your Mom*  and then  damn cell phone..hit a sequence of buttons in an order that you did not intend....


now..I've got to wake up Katie as the aide did not show up...again...and go have my blood drawn....

[bear60]

Mom is very healthy but she is 72, and I have only started seeing her that way in the past 2 months ....   quote you
...............................................................
well...its hard to see our parents grow old and die.  It is entirely possible that your Mom will die before you do. Believe me I never thought I would outlive my parents. You know how it went...."You are HIV positive....you have 5 years tops to live...circa 1989".  So yea, its very very hard to readjust that view of things.  I hope your Mom lives a long time and you get to share wonderful moments .....its a real blessing to have her. 
And this:  The "damn" cell phone is a reference to how much I dislike cell phones....CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW! OPPS....dropped the call etc etc.

[denb45]

Mom is very healthy but she is 72, and I have only started seeing her that way in the past 2 months ....   quote you
...............................................................
well...its hard to see our parents grow old and die.  It is entirely possible that your Mom will die before you do. Believe me I never thought I would outlive my parents. You know how it went...."You are HIV positive....you have 5 years tops to live...circa 1989".  So yea, its very very hard to readjust that view of things.  I hope your Mom lives a long time and you get to share wonderful moments .....its a real blessing to have her. 
And this:  The "damn" cell phone is a reference to how much I dislike cell phones....CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW! OPPS....dropped the call etc etc.

I lost both my parents over 20 yrs ago (1988) my Mom was 65, and my Dad was 75, I miss not having them around, but, the reality of any of this is, (if they were still alive TODAY) my Mom would be 85 and my Dad would 95  my Dad was 44 yrs old when I was born, and my Mom was 33, so you can see how and why I outlived them 

[rondrond]

Mom is very healthy but she is 72, and I have only started seeing her that way in the past 2 months ....   quote you
...............................................................
well...its hard to see our parents grow old and die.  It is entirely possible that your Mom will die before you do. Believe me I never thought I would outlive my parents. You know how it went...."You are HIV positive....you have 5 years tops to live...circa 1989".  So yea, its very very hard to readjust that view of things.  I hope your Mom lives a long time and you get to share wonderful moments .....its a real blessing to have her. 
And this:  The "damn" cell phone is a reference to how much I dislike cell phones....CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW! OPPS....dropped the call etc etc.

Yeah, she's just always there when you need her...questions,  but no blaming....

I see those commercials on TV about dropped calls...I have never had a dropped call. I have a Nextel phone with Walkie Talkie and GPS that I used when I was working.....it doesn't have service now, but I kept it as I had  paid for it..I never like that GPS feature either...

we would come in the warehouse at the end of our route to restock and turn in money and they would pull up our route and there was a red line that showed exactly where you have been all day....it was accurate up to twenty feet...

one day I was late as I had to stop and get it inspected and they pulled up my route number and saw that I was outside the front door walking in...for some reason..that scares the hell out of me...

I use a Tracfone/prepaid....I only use it for emergencies. Only two people have the number...Katie and Mom. I'm not much one for talking on the phone while I'm driving or out in public.....

It used to irritate me when I would be stocking a machine and somebody would catch my attention to ask me a question. I would stop working and suddenly they would hold up their finger and be on the phone...with me standing there when I could have been working....

Or they come up to me and start a lively conversation, looking at me all the while and so I think they are talking to me and talk back and answer questions and they look at me and hold up that finger and then I see the earpiece...

You've probably heard the joke about the guy who went to the bathroom and was sitting in his stall and then he hears a voice "Hi, how are you?"....and though confused, you answer his questions and suddenly you hear..."I'm going to have to go now, some idiot is trying to talk to me  through our conversation."....I've been there....I've done it...and I wasn't embarrassed, I was mad....

edited for mucho typos...

[rondrond]

I lost both my parents over 20 yrs ago (1988) my Mom was 65, and my Dad was 75, I miss not having them around, but, the reality of any of this is, (if they were still alive TODAY) my Mom would be 85 and my Dad would 95  my Dad was 44 yrs old when I was born, and my Mom was 33, so you can see how and why I outlived them 

Hey Dennis,
good to hear from you.

Wow, life is so strange. When I was born my Mom was 16 and my Father was 17. There is only 16 years difference in our ages. I have had friends who were older than my Mom. I went to Jr. High School with my Mom's youngest sister, who was two years older than me.

I've got cousins out the wazoo. Some I've never heard of, but they've heard of me...I went to High School with Dane Moore and we were friends. At graduation, we were sitting by each other..alphabetical order..Moore/Myers....and in walked my Grandmother. I shouted out to her  "Grandmother"..as Dane shouted out...'Aunt Pinky"....??..Grandmother's maiden name was Moore...Dane and I were cousins..and I  didn't even know it...he had heard of me, but didn't know that I was me...

[rondrond]

I had my blood drawn for my PT/INR. I hate afternoon appointments. The parking lot was FULL. I had to park across the street and It was HOT and I had not brought my parasol 

As my blood was filling the vial. it stopped and didn't fill it completely. I looked down and told her that she needed to pull back on the needle, that she was in too far for that vein....I know, I used to play with it years ago...

She didn't listen at first and gave me an explanation that the vials had compression that stopped automatically when it was at the right fullness to mix perfectly with the additive....and she popped a new vial  on...nothing...I had to sit on my left hand to not take over and again I said..:"just pull back a little"..and BINGO...a gusher...

Decided to pick up a few things at the store since I was there and I found myself in the Garden area..I have two planters on the front porch that I WANT to put Junipers that have been trimmed to look like they are spiraling up...*how elegant*

Well, those were $40.00....and up...so I walked on and saw these Rose bushes that didn't look too rosy for $10.00.....kept walking and say the trays of small flowers for $8.00 for like two little plants....walked out...

I have some packets of flower seeds in this house somewhere.....of course, I can't seem to find them at this moment....Katie thinks she might have given them to a previous aide...

But I did find the brushed stainless steel switchplate covers that I bought for my bathroom long ago and far away when I had repainted and cracked them putting them back on....My little electric screwdriver is a little more powerful than I had thought...

..and, I don't like them..

Before Daniel left on his working 'Tour' he had done some cleanup in the back yard and bagged all these leaves, dirt and twigs and they have been under the deck for months as they are HEAVY...

I decided to add dirt to the path on the side of the house as it washes away over time as it is a downhill slope...and put landscaping timbers across the path at intervals giving a tiered look and pull out the wheelbarrow and plop a bag in it, rip it open and start shoveling.....

being in the heat and rain in that plastic had done a better job than any compost pile I had ever done before...Used all the bags and my back wakes up and screams..."that's a shovel in your hand and you're performing manual labor"...not allowed..wrannnggranngrranngrangrangrang....ouchEEEE....

I was at it for an hour, which seems to be my time limit on doing anything  before my body starts to freeze up, swell up and loudly protest...

Now I am hopefully going to be seeing a cardio vascular specialist in September, I can now start..*.bitc*....*.complaining*...damnit, my back hurts....what. about my back?....I've been reading a lot about bone loss in long term HIV and I am taking calcium/magnesium, and I drink 1% milk.

We eat Chicken breast, skinless, boneless, brown rice and beans, soup (progresso, low sodium, low fat). I use that butter...Smart Balance...
My blood pressure is getting there...

I mimic Mary Ann Wilson RN on Sit and Be Fit every morning, work out in the yard, and am down to the third notch on my belt....and I am stuck..it has remained the same now for over two weeks with no more progress....

Last week I started making our portions just a little smaller...instead of a chicken breast for each, I cut one in half...(tea for two)...instead of a cup of brown rice, it's now one half cup...

and I am stuck...the scales won't go down....I have started doing push ups standing and pushing against the wall as my back will NOT allow me to lie on the floor...

There used to be a clothe line in the back yard, made of Iron ..looks like a jungle gym at the playground..one side was destroyed by a falling tree during a tornado....Daniel uses the remaining end to do chin ups......


after a careful look around to make sure nobody is around, I have grabbed hold and.....I can't even get myself off the ground...pitiful.

I still try now and then, as I think that curling up from the bottom tightens the stomach muscles better that sit ups...and I can't get on the floor....

Katie keeps saying to buy some Saran Wrap and wrap up in it to lose weight...0.0 ...??...o.0.....nope.

[Winiroo]

Katie keeps saying to buy some Saran Wrap and wrap up in it to lose weight...0.0 ...??...o.0.....nope.

It would just be water weight anyway. You'd get the same effect taking a water pill.
Saran wrap isn't very comfortable to walk around wearing.

[bear60]

Gushers?  Yikes.  I keep thinking if it was oil (instead of blood) you'd be rich! 

[denb45]

Gushers?  Yikes.  I keep thinking if it was oil (instead of blood) you'd be rich! 

Yeah, no shit.....if I would have invested in Oil  or Microsoft 10 or 15 yrs ago, I'd be Rich right now, what a fool I was back then, but then again, if my Mother had nuts, then, she be my father instead of my mother  LOL!  too bad there is no such thing as a DO OVER