Newly Hiv poz and lost/depress!!!

[DCSC]

Hi i just found out last week that im poz. Since then i have been very depressed and lost of sleep. I keep thinking about hiv every minute of the day and had some moments about not wanting to live anymore. I'm 45 yrs old male and have no insurance or primary doctor yet. I would like to know if anyone was in this situation like me and what they did to get treatment.

The City Health and Human services has contacted me about my status and asked me a whole bunch of questions about my life. They say they will refer me to a city clinic and advice i take more blood test for STD(herpes,syphilis, etc..). Is this a wise decision to let them do so?

Question is... should i go to an HIV organization to get help or let the City guide me in the right direction?

Any feedback is welcome.

[Jeff G]

Hi DCSC . Im sorry you tested positive but happy you found us , welcome to the forums .

Its understandable that you are sad and in shock , the day we found out is something we all have in common and I want you to know that the forums can be a source of support as well as a comfort while you are adjusting . I have been living with HIV for over 30 years and Im here to tell you Im nothing special , so you can do it too .

The Heath Dept is mandated by law in most states to do contact testing for HIV , TB , Syphilis .... it may be uncomfortable becise of the unexpected nature of it but the interview they do is harmless and in your case they can guide you to a treatment center .

Im not sure what city you live in but you can Google ASO's or HIV clinics in or near your city if you wish to find one on your own .

Once again welcome and please know this gets better in time , that I can promise you .

[Habersham]

Hey DCSC,

I'm sorry this has happened and its a lot to deal with at first. They'll be lot's of questions and tests the first couple of months. Be easy on yourself and it will all be okay. Soon you'll only be thinking about it when it's time to take your pills. Honestly - it's kind of like taking a Claritin for me.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Jeff is right - arrange to speak with an Aids Service Organization if you can. They'll help you navigate the system.

Habersham

[DCSC]

Thanks guys, good to hear from someone that has been through it. i hope i can get over the depress part. I was always a happy guy until now. I guess i'm going to see how i feel in the short coming.

As for now...I can't sleep or focus. I feel like i need to tell somebody about my status but then again i might be jumping the guN in doing so.

 I will try to go a ASO soon to see if they can help me get back on track with my life.

[jkinatl2]

Hi i just found out last week that im poz. Since then i have been very depressed and lost of sleep. I keep thinking about hiv every minute of the day and had some moments about not wanting to live anymore. I'm 45 yrs old male and have no insurance or primary doctor yet. I would like to know if anyone was in this situation like me and what they did to get treatment.

The City Health and Human services has contacted me about my status and asked me a whole bunch of questions about my life. They say they will refer me to a city clinic and advice i take more blood test for STD(herpes,syphilis, etc..). Is this a wise decision to let them do so?

Question is... should i go to an HIV organization to get help or let the City guide me in the right direction?

Any feedback is welcome.

Hello!

I am glad you found this forum.

You mentioned two remarkably powerful allies in your health as an uninsured person; the city's Health Department and your local ASO. There is NO reason you can't utilize both.  The Health Department might even suggest it.

I would write more, but am slowly recovering from a wicked illness (not HIV related) and staring at the computer screen is like chewing tinfoil.

PLEASE use Google to learn what your local ASO can do for you, and take full advantage. They are there for you, and will lilkely be able to answer questions and address needs that your city Health Department can't or won't have time for.

[Ann]

Hi DC, welcome to the forums.

The emotions you're feeling right now are perfectly normal at this stage. Allow yourself to feel those feelings, but don't wallow in them. Get yourself out of the house and do all the things you normally would - it helps to get back into a familiar routine.

Please keep in mind that you're still the same guy you were before you got the diagnosis and given time, you'll be your happy self again. It really does get better.

Regarding telling someone else, it can really help. Choose carefully though, and remember that once you tell, you can't "untell". When you're more comfortable with your status, you'll find telling others easier - or at least I did. I'm very open about my hiv status these days and it's been no big deal. (Contrary to what I thought/feared in the very early days of my diagnosis.)

Regarding dealing with the health department, don't sweat it. It's routine. They may ask for a list of recent sexual partners, but rest assured they cannot tell anyone they subsequently contact who let the department know they may have been at risk. It's the law that they cannot reveal your name. It's a good, anonymous way of letting someone know they need to test.

You may find poz.com's Health Services Directory useful in finding an ASO near you. Put your zip code into the lower box on the page - the one at the top is for finding testing centers. You can search for more than one type of organisation at a time by holding down the Ctrl button while you select. You'll see what I mean when you go to that page.

You may also find the Lessons section helpful. Feel free to come back into the forums to ask any questions that may arise while you read.

Hang in there - you're going to be ok, really.

Ann