POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors => Topic started by: rwt44102 on January 09, 2012, 11:16:19 am
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I'm a 23 year survivor. Last Spring I self-committed as I knew I wasn't thinking right. As soon as I landed in the psych. ward, I knew I had to get outta there. I'm on [more] meds. and being seen by a psychiatrist.
So, my question is: how do you all maintain a 'happy outlook'? I've lost 99% of my friends to AIDS. So, there's really no one left to talk to...suggestions?
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I know what you mean... I'm a 20 year survivor who is going through a bout of pretty serious depression/anxiety right now. I don't know what the answer is but as painful as it is right now, i'm going to get up and go for a walk and try to stop sitting and worrying about the future. The only thing we can do is take our meds, exercise, eat healthy, see a therapist and maintain our friendships with family/freinds/partner.
If you're a spiritual person, I think believing in a higher power can be helpful because what it all boils down to is a fear or dying and the unknown.
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I guess survivors come in all shapes and sizes and with various methods to cope with HIV.
MIne, I found a new husband after my first husband died and tried to move on.
Losing friends has been espercially hard, though, I will admit. I do volunteer work also.
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Welcome to the forums. I wish I had that magic answer, but each of us arrive at that contented and happy place differently. Not too long ago, I was in quite a bad emotional/mental place. These forums and developed friendships have been a blessing.
Best wishes and continue to reach out here....you'll find great support and develop some new friends.
Wolfie
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I am a 27 year survivor and know exactly what you mean.
I have lost many family members and friends and my first long term partner over the years. I also lost my mother in February 2010. There are times when I get overwhelmed missing their physical presence since a few of my friends and family members and I were really close and I was able to share my feelings and get such wonderful personal support.
I don't have a magic potion or answer either as others have stated here. I somehow just live off of the joy and love my family and friends brought me and the love I have for myself. I am also extremely grateful that my natural tendencies lean toward survival and a mostly positive (no pun intended) outlook. It helps to see our children doing well into adulthood even though they are off doing their own thing. Yet, I know that I will always remain a work in progress just like everyone else.
I sincerely wish you the best in your life's journey.
Please take care of yourself.
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}
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I guess survivors come in all shapes and sizes and with various methods to cope with HIV.
MIne, I found a new husband after my first husband died and tried to move on.
Losing friends has been espercially hard, though, I will admit. I do volunteer work also.
Me too Joel, only I had to do the same thing you did twice ( find another husband ) now I'm his caregivier, he used to be mine, and it's a full-time-job too ???
@ rwt44102 I'm a 25 yr. ( this JUNE 2012) survivor you have to take it in stride, after all of these yrs. and all that I have lost, I find comfort with the company of everyone here in these forums, it will get better, only if you want it too....hang-in-there buddy, and welcome ;)
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Hey rwt44102,
Like others said, it just putting one foot in front of the other and carrying on as best you can.
I will have 27 years as a pozzie this July. I really don't know how I have made it this far, but I did.
I think one of the keys for me is to get off my butt and do something. If I spend too much time alone with my own thoughts, I get depressed, morose or otherwise not in a good frame of mind.
So, I try not to do that. I work, which is a blessing for which I am grateful. I also am active in a faith community as well as keep myself busy socially.
I have lost many friends during the years to this bug, as well as my soul mate/life partner. Unlike others, I haven't met another partner. That is OK too, because I have made quite a few good friends, including some right here.
When I first came her, I felt lost and was in a dark place. Thanks to people here, I have left that behind.
Hang with us for a while, maybe you will find a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel too.
HUGS,
Mark
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Welcome Welcome , I agree with all the other darlings have said , No magic answers
{side effect off anti -bios they make me thick as a brick }
But I do recommend participation in this forum , I just cannot articulate why at the moment but did want to welcome you, welcome,
Theyer
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It is never easy. Some days are worse than others for me. On the bad days, I concentrate on ROUTINE. Just go through the motions....things will (hopefully) look better tomorrow.
I think many of us are suffering from PTSD. Love yourself, and be as good to yourself as you can be. You are your own best friend.
I do better when I keep myself busy at something. A Part-time job, volunteering, participating in my church....all these things help me keep putting one foot in front of the other. Having a loving partner and wonderful pets helps too.
Best wishes,
Alan
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Sometimes I find it hard, especially since I don't know many other female lts'ers, i.e. what it's like to raise children, experiencing grandchildren etc. But I try not to stay in a funk too long. I'll call and talk to someone, usually my best friend, and things get better.
I still work, and go to school, and that helps. I have gotten a bit close to a few people on these forums which also helps. And I have a cat who accepts me whether I have my make up on or not. :)
Talking about it helps, so just keep talking, er, posting.
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Betty
You know, having a pet is an important part of our lives too. We have a cat......and of course he's spoiled. He was diagnosed with hyper-thyroidism a year or so ago....and we have to give him HIS medication morning and evening.
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I am just naturally an optimist. I never think that Aids will kill me, I never think that if I stop taking a med it will get resistant to it. Not that I do, but I never bought that idea. My previous doctor did studies and I would take drug vacations and try new meds with him. It was nice taking a drug vacation, but right now my body is used to taking what I do and it's not a hassle to take them.
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Been thinking more bout this subject.... I need to have something to look forward too, this can be almost anything but ideally it will require a bit off work, effort, planning and be attainable. So much thrapspeak emphasis the here and now ..being in the present and I have no argument with that when my here and now is a reasonable place to be.However like many off us It just is not often.
So a plan, a trip a hope is usefull to fall into as it contains a hope it helps keep depression at bay. That's it the bleeding obvious post off the week.
loves
mhtv
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I completely forgot I posted this.
Thank you ALL for the thoughtful messages.
Hope is alive sometimes I know I just ned to "fan my flame" so to speak.