POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: EricMPLS on July 17, 2007, 01:05:52 am
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Hi everyone -- I've been lurking in these forums since June 19th, 2007 (the date I was notified of my HIV+ diagnosis) so figured there's no better time than the present to introduce myself.
I made a poor decision 3 months ago while on vacation in Mexico -- even though it'd only been 2 months since my last scheduled HIV test, the "usual" seroconversion symptoms prompted me to get tested again. I knew it wasn't good when the results weren't posting to my clinic's website. (can we say Western Blot). So yeah, found out for certain on June 19th -- been a rough few weeks since then with lots of ups and downs (as you can all no doubt relate)
My 1st labs were drawn the same day... VL 8,800 CD4 522 / 27%. When I 1st met the HIV Specialist 2 weeks ago, he pretty much told me I'm doing ok, and to come back in 3 months. After reading some comments here, I asked if I should get a resistance test - he said no, that it's only needed when starting meds. He didn't seem concerned with the low CD4% either... even though I thought I should be... maybe I'm worrying too much.
Based on a referral from one of the Health Educators at a local social/support group for newly diagnosed gay men, I met with a different HIV specialist today. He wants to check my numbers every month for a few months to determine my true baseline, as well as have a resistance test done right away. So yeah, having my 2 second labs drawn tomorrow. yay... lol. Unfortunately the new doc is heading to Sydney in a few days (for IAS) so it'll be a few weeks before I get those results. FYI - he did agree with the 1st specialist in that there's no immediate need or benefit to starting meds.
I think I'm through the worst of the depression. I'm back at work after taking some time off to accept this new part of me.. All my friends and even my backwoods family from rural Iowa have been incredibly supportive. At this point I'm focusing on making those.. umm.. positive changes in my life I should have been doing all along.
First on that list is to stop smoking cigarettes. Wish me luck with that - today is day 1 (wearing a 21 mg Nicotine patch).
I suppose I've rambled on long enough for my intro posting. Thank you for the support you've already offered by sharing your experiences here.
Have a great night. :)
Eric
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Eric, welcome to the forums. Try to relax and go with the flow. It's going to take several blood work ups to see where your numbers will stand. Don't get caught up in the numbers. Unless you are ill, live your live as normal as you have been. At least as it stands now your numbers are good/great and meds are not in the near future. Take care.
Rodney
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Hi Eric,
welcome to the forums, I'm glad you lurked and learned :)
The two different doctors have two different approaches. The first one must bet on the fact that you have a "low" VL and a good CD4 count, and that the percentage is high enough to not bother looking at numbers every month, but keep the body fight as you just got infected, and see the results after 3 months.
The other approach is more conservative, check the immune system every month to see what is the trend, but I'm not sure what's the value there, others may chime in. I mean if your CD4 was 200 and your VL 10000+ then yes, but in your case I don't see the rush for numbers and what value they will add compared to a 3 month draw. You have certainly read that the numbers go up and down every day!
Milker.
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The other approach is more conservative, check the immune system every month to see what is the trend, but I'm not sure what's the value there, others may chime in. I mean if your CD4 was 200 and your VL 10000+ then yes, but in your case I don't see the rush for numbers and what value they will add compared to a 3 month draw. You have certainly read that the numbers go up and down every day!
I suspect he sensed a bit of anxiety on my part and felt more careful monitoring (initially) might put me at ease. He did indicate there is growing evidence of a benefit to an early genotype test to determine whether or not I have drug-resistant strain(s) now - even if HAART is not needed. Something about how most drug-resistant strains convert to drug-sensitive types, but still retain portions of drug-resistance which may not be picked up by a later genotype test.
Thursday I have my interview with the state dept of health -- that should be fun right? :D
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Hi there, glad you found us and could feel comfortable. :)
Wish you the best in this new path you are starting, welcome to the forums.
Juan Carlos
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I suspect he sensed a bit of anxiety on my part and felt more careful monitoring (initially) might put me at ease. He did indicate there is growing evidence of a benefit to an early genotype test to determine whether or not I have drug-resistant strain(s) now - even if HAART is not needed. Something about how most drug-resistant strains convert to drug-sensitive types, but still retain portions of drug-resistance which may not be picked up by a later genotype test.
Thursday I have my interview with the state dept of health -- that should be fun right? :D
Oh yeah, I'd do the resistance test now. You know, at the beginning I wanted to get tested every day :D But even though my results were not what I wanted last time, my doctor said "see you in 3 months". I hesitated, and now I'm glad he did not ask me to come back next month, makes me feel like I'm in control and have time to get healthier, stronger, and see if I can fight this by myself rather than getting blood drawn every month and thinking about hiv too often.
I would go with the 3 month test but have a resistance test done now. The resistance test helped me understand what will be my options when I go on meds, and also told me that my virus was a baby maker faster than the average, which actually helped me expect my VL numbers.
There is a good thread about genotype, and newt's response that says it all: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=13416.msg166994#msg166994
Milker.
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Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry that you tested positive, but you seem to be making positive choices about your health. You have even disclosed to you family and friends. That takes many of us a long time. Keep informed and feel free to question your doctor. It is YOUR health and YOU are responsible for it.
Best Wishes.
Lost
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Hey there
I am going to chime in on this subject: quitting smoking. I hated quitting and needed help. My doctor was pretty good about support and prescriptions. I used Wellbutrin as a prescription drug rather than Zyban which is not prescription (I believe).
But my partner who quit a few years ago did it by using nicotine patches and gum. He became addicted to the patches and gum!!!!! So, then he had to get a prescription for Wellbutrin.
Now there is Chantix, the newest and best drug to quit smoking. If you can try it, everyone says its fab.
Thing is, along with the HIV diagnosis there is stress and anxiety. Talk to your doctor about this. Many people find they trade smoking for some other drug to help with the anxiety and stress. (Example: sleepless at night and anxiety attacks).
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I must confess, I've already cracked on the smoking thing. After making it 4 days, I was at an office happy hour and everyone was smoking... not just my co-workers, but every table around us. Granted, we were hanging out on the roof-top patio (can't smoke indoors in Minneapolis so every smoker was up there), but sheesh - how could anyone quit in that environment?? ohh... and I may have had a few beers at that point.. *may* haha
My regular doctor gave me a standing scrip for Chantix, so I think I might fill that tomorrow after work. (I'll use any excuse to go to Target.. LOL)
so my interview with the dept of health "Disease Intervention Specialist" was today... that was just odd. After telling him when my last neg test was... who I think infected me, who I may have exposed (1 each btw)... he said "I don't get this... you're smart and you know the risks.... why would you do what you did?"
f**k -- I don't know. I was stupid and drunk. It is what it is... and as much as I wish I could change it, I can't. The flip side is I couldn't imagine having that guy's job. He's going to have to make 2 horrible phone calls tomorrow.
Then again -- I was told of my diagnosis via phone.... what could get worse than that? I was so at work when my regular doctor called me.... I kid you not -- I went to my boss (while crying) and said I needed to leave NOW.
oh the memories.
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edited because I was rambling (a frequent affliction of mine)
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Glad things are going so fine for you. wish you the best.
Juan Carlos
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"He's going to have to make 2 horrible phone calls tomorrow."
As difficult as it may be, maybe you should make the 2 horrible phone calls tomorrow.
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Glad things are going so fine for you. wish you the best.
Thanks Juan Carlos -- I really appreciate that. :)
As difficult as it may be, maybe you should make the 2 horrible phone calls tomorrow.
Nah, I don't think so. When I ran into my Mexico vacation fling a few weeks after we both returned from our vacations (how ironic is that I met someone in another country who lives a mile from me?), he pretty much blew me off - and not in a good way. That really hurt -- and now.. well... yeah.
As far as the other guy goes, I asked a mutual friend for advice and he suggested it might be best if I weren't the one telling him.
believe it or not, I didn't take THAT decision lightly.
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Dear Eric,
Welcome to the forums. Just an observation: bad things seem to happen to you when your drunk (smoking, HIV).
Razorbill
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I love it when I get the "I don't understand, you're a smart person, why would you do that?" like this helps.. I'm not sure I'd keep seeing this person if all he can do is put guilt on you instead of moving forward.
Milker.
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Welcome to the forums. Just an observation: bad things seem to happen to you when your drunk (smoking, HIV).
yeah, I noticed that too. hindsight is always 20/20 though. I don't blame the smoking on being drunk (cause 3 beers does not a drunk Eric make) - I just REALLY wanted one of those cigarettes.. ha ha. Heck, I don't blame alcohol for my HIV -- inebriated or not, I still consented and will have to live with those consequences.
I love it when I get the "I don't understand, you're a smart person, why would you do that?" like this helps.. I'm not sure I'd keep seeing this person if all he can do is put guilt on you instead of moving forward.
Oh no, he was not a therapist - just the "sex police" from the dept of health and I have no intention of seeing him again. My therapist (I found one a week after my diagnosis) simply stated I need to learn how to forgive myself for what I did to myself. I'm still working on that.
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Eric, I'm a bit behind, but welcome to the boards. So sorry that you you tested positive. I agree that one of the first things is to forgive yourself. Throughout life we all do things that in retrospect we wish we could take back. But live only moves forward. It does take a while to adjust. I just passed my 18 months anniversary of being told I was positive. I'm to where I don't really think about it every day but I do remember all of the emotions, fears, and anxiety from those first few weeks. And they still come back from time to time. You seem to be doing pretty good. Finding a good HIV doctor that you trust is a very important first step. Listen to what the doctor says, but also keep yourself informed. It sounds like you have done some reading and have a good knowledge base. You will find lots of support here on the boards.
I didn't get my notification of my status over the phone, but I did get a call from my doctor's office that day in January 2006 when the nurse said "we need you to come in after work and we will wait if you can't be here by 5." That was about the same as receiving the notice over the phone. There wasn't much doubt about what they were going to tell me. But at least they did mine in person. I can't imagine being told with no one around to see how you were doing or how you were taking it. At any rate, I never got that call from the "sex police." I guess I was one of those who fell through the cracks. I kept expecting it. I was told that it would happen. But it never did. And at 18 months out, if they are that far behind, then we have a big problem here in Missouri. I had no idea who infected me nor how long I was infected. I did take care of notifying anyone I had been with in the past six months and almost all of them thanked me for telling them and called me back to let me know that they had tested negative (except one---and of course that made me a bit suspicious).
Anyway, you seem like you are on the right track and handling things in the right way. Best wishes and just know that you have lots of knowledgeable people here.
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Eric, welcome to the forum. This is the place for support and understanding for the most part. I am sorry to hear about your recent positive test, but you seem to be better off than I was. Man was I a basket case. Blixer and I found out that we were positive around the same time, so I too have known my status for about 18 months. You are already way ahead of the pack. Your numbers are decent for just coming out of the gate and you are on the best course of action (finding a good doctor) it is important to stay informed and watch your health. No more of that drinking (ok, one is not going to kill you) and smoking stuff. I quit years ago, it was hard, but also the best thing I could have ever done for myself. Good luck to ya, D