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HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: as81 on December 03, 2011, 02:42:31 am

Title: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on December 03, 2011, 02:42:31 am
Dear Sir,

I am an Indian male and of quite good health. Under an act of sheer stupidity, I had protected intercourse with a sex worker yesterday. Only a minute after I started gentle humping inside her vagina, I suffered a condom burst.  I quickly withdrew and ejaculated outside with the help of my hand. Then I wiped it off with a cloth and went back home, then washed my penis with soap and water. My penis head  must have been exposed to the vaginal fluids for sure for at least 30 seconds, however there was no abrasion or wound on my penis. I immediately went to a senior doctor (Internal Medicine) and told him about the case and requested him to start PEP (Post Exposure Prophylaxis) treatment. He had a look on my penis and did not see any abrasion or wound or cut. Then he asked me about the HIV status of the sex worker girl and I told that it was unknown to me. So, he refused PEP treatment to me (I don’t know why). He told me that do now worry as the percentage of getting infected by a condom break only in one sexual encounter does not necessarily lead to HIV transmission. He gave me an anti anxiety pill and advise me to get tested for HIV after 3 months. Since then I am highly worried and tensed about getting infected. I would assume that the girl was HIV positive so what are my chances of not getting infected ? I go to sex workers rarely that is once  every two months. This time the condom bursted to my horror. Please advise as I am feeling suicidal.

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: RapidRod on December 03, 2011, 07:11:49 am
Your doctor was correct and if you are feeling suicidal then seek professional mental help.
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Andy Velez on December 03, 2011, 09:52:49 am
Even IF the sex worker is HIV positive, the risk for transmitting HIV in the incident you have described is very low. Transmitting HIV from female to male is significantly harder than from male to female. You had a single brief possible exposure during which you were protected until the condom broke. Taking all of that into consideration I would say the chance of transmission is very unlikely.

It's not a situation in which I would consider PEP to be warranted. You can for your peace of mind get tested at 13 weeks just to reassure yourself. I certainly expect you to test negative. In the future make sure the condom you use is the right size for you and is fresh.

I don't see this as an HIV situation.
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on December 03, 2011, 11:58:22 am
Hi Rapid,

Your reply brought a nasty smile to my almost dead lips. You have a good sense of humor. But I  am really worried that I might brin a bad name to my family and friends in case I test positive for HIV. So self death will be the only solution to avoid the humiliation. In India, the society is still very primitive in thinking, hence I think of suicide.

Hi Rapid,

I understand your point on this matter, however, my concern is this that i was exposed to her vaginal fluids for at least 30 seconds and the virus must have transmitted to my bloodstream through the urethera when the condom broke. I understand statistics which prove that the risk of transmission is only .03 percent in my case but when it comes to individuals, it is terrifying for sure. I am a good person and I know it. Just because  I was unmarried and sex was inaccessible to me, I went in for paid sex with a CSW and now I might will have to pay for it with my life and social embarassment being a part of Indian society.

Please do not take my reply in an offensive manner but a lot is going through my mind due to this misadventure
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Ann on December 03, 2011, 12:05:35 pm
as,

Spare us the "I have to kill myself because of Indian society". We have several hiv positive Indian members in these forums - living in India - and they're getting along just fine. So knock it off.

In over ten years of working in this forum, I've yet to see the insertive partner (that's you) end up hiv positive over a condom break. I do not expect you to be the first.

Don't expect to be able to use this forum for the next three months to go on and on about this situation. You just need to test to confirm your negative status.

You need to make sure you read through the condom and lube links in my signature line. A correctly used condom rarely breaks. In your situation, you most likely accidentally left an air bubble in the tip when you put it on. Air bubbles cause breakage.

Ann
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on December 03, 2011, 12:11:40 pm
Thanks Ann,

Yes, I understand that only confirming negative will bring peace to my mind. I have promised myself to abstain from paid sex or sex with an unknown partner till I am alive. I hope to be forgiven by God for this mess. I am sorry to if my words have brought irritation to you or anyone in this forum. May god bless all.

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Ann on December 03, 2011, 12:36:42 pm
as,

There is nothing for god or anyone else to forgive you for. You had sex and that is something human beings are designed to do. If you believe that god designed us, that means he or she designed us to want to have sex, so what's the problem?

As long as you are treating the person with whom you have sex with respect, then there's nothing for which to be forgiven. Hiv is NOT a punishment sent from god to people who have sex.

The doctor did the correct, responsible thing and he followed the PEP prescribing guidelines. He did not prescribe serious medications that come with many side-effects to a patient who did not need these strong medications. He obviously fully expects you to ultimately test hiv negative and so do I.

You need to get productively busy with other things while you wait for the appropriate time to test. The good news is that the earliest you can test is at six weeks.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative is highly unlikely to change, but must be confirmed at the three month point.

Test at six weeks to put your mind at ease, then confirm that negative result at three months.

Ann
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on December 03, 2011, 12:46:50 pm
Thanks Ann,

I truly believe in God and Destiny. Sex workers are also human beings and have a right to live and earn as they desire. On the contrary, if commercial sex is legalised (Indian point of view as commercial sex is illegal here) it will bring down the count of rapes cmmitted in the society. Sex is a beautiful thing and is not bad at all but life is also precious at the same time.

Neverthless. I hope for mercy from God in these unfortunate times. Your kind words have brought me hope and I was looking for it desperately.

Heartful thanks,

as
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on January 06, 2012, 08:11:19 am
Hi Ann/Rapid,

Hope all you guys are doing good.

I just needed to update you that today i.e. approximately 36 days after possible exposure, I have caught flu i believe. I have bodyache, headache, a sore throat and fever. Just needed to update regarding the weather changes here in Delhi as well. Its winter here in this part of the world and it was not extreme until yesterday, when it started raining and the weather became too cold.

My worries are as follows :

Has the seroconversion started ?
Can it be a possible HIV symptom?

Kindly advise as once again I am losing sleep.

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on January 06, 2012, 09:46:01 am
Hi All,

Just needed to add one more thing - Doctor has mentioned "URT" on my prescription which according to my amateur research, means upper respiratory tract (URT) infection. Also, fever is 101 degree celcius and bodyache including headache are considerably powerful.

My eyes are looking for your answers please

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Andy Velez on January 06, 2012, 03:44:32 pm
Neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV. Only an HIV test taken at the appropriate time after a risky incident can give you that answer.

There is nothing HIV specific about any of the symptoms which you are reporting.
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on January 09, 2012, 10:42:55 am
Thanks Andy,

However I just have a few questions out of curiousity :

1. I have also developed dry cough (some websites state that it is a very strong indicator of hiv infection if accompanied with fever). Kindly advise
2. My fever keeps on coming and going. When I have paracetamol (prescribed by the doctor), the fever goes away. It pops up out of nowhere the following day. I think that the infection is really serious.
3. I had fatigue, bodyache and headache only on the first day. Headache was experienced though again today. Its been 3 days since I am ill. I am taking medication prescribed by the doctor. Now, only dry cough is there and nothing else.
4. I did not experience nausea, diarreha, rashes and sore throat (only if dry cough and sore throat are two different things)
5. I saw an online video posted by some German lady doctor who suggested that Rashes AND/OR Fever accompanied by one or more of the symptoms like fatigue, bodyache, nausea, sore throat, diarreha is a positive sign of HIV infection.
6. Do the HIV symptoms coe one by one or all together and do they go away with medication ?
7. Do the ARS show up just between 2-4 weeks of initial infection or after that as well?

I understand that only testing will prove the infection's presence however please clarify the aforesaid doubts if possible.

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Andy Velez on January 09, 2012, 10:52:43 am
There is STILL nothing HIV-specific about any of your symptoms. ARS symptoms come on all at the same time if they are going to show up. The average time to seroconversion is 22 days.

You would do yourself a big favor if you stop surfing the net about HIV. All you do is feed your worst fears and to no good purpose.

I think you are at the 6 week point now post-risk so you can do an initial test. Assuming you test negative, which is what I expect, then in all likelihood you will continue to test negative again at 3 months.
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Ann on January 09, 2012, 10:59:56 am
as,

1. A dry cough indicates an URT, which you have already been diagnosed with. It is not hiv specific.

2. Your doctor prescribed paracetamol because paracetamol will bring a fever down. Many illnesses, including URTs, are accompanied by a fever.

3. Coughs have a way of hanging on after a URT. It happens.

4. Good for you.

5. Those symptoms are also positive signs of hundreds of other bodily infections, not only hiv.

6. They come on all at once and medications do not effect them, aside from paracetamol possibly bringing a fever down.

7. It is exceedingly rare for ARS to appear after 2-4 weeks. The illness that some people experience is not caused by the virus itself. It is cause by the process the body goes through while producing antibodies. Most people will produce antibodies within 22 days of infection taking place. This is why it is very rare for anyone to experience ARS after three weeks, and even more rare for someone to experience ARS at or after four.

We have repeatedly told you that you are highly unlikely to end up hiv positive following a condom break as the insertive partner. In over ten years of answering questions in this forum, I have yet to see the insertive partner test positive over a condom break and I do not expect you to be the first.

The end of this week will mark six weeks since you had the condom break. I suggest you go have a rapid test on Friday to put your mind at ease.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

If the illness you have been experiencing have anything to do with hiv seroconversion, you will test positive. Again, I'm fully expecting a NEGATIVE result.
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on January 09, 2012, 11:10:11 am
Thanks again Andy and Ann :)

I would be getting tested soon and would get in touch again only with the results.

I would pray to God that all the worried people in this forum including me test negative. This a nerve wracking experience for me. I never wish to experience it again if I test negative this time.

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on February 25, 2012, 11:24:19 am
Hi Ann,

I took an HIV Elisa 1 & 2 test today i.e. after 85 days after possible exposure on 1st December, 2011. It came back as "NON REACTIVE" . Under the "RANGE" field, it showed no value.

At the end it said " FOR FALSE NEGATIVE OR FALSE POSITIVE, TAKE A WESTERN BLOT"

Does it mean that I tested negative for HIV ?
Is it conclusive or should I retest after 5 more days so that the window period of 3 months is complete ?
Is this test reliable ?

One more problem -
I received unprotected oral sex from an escort 2 weeks back but withdrew after 10 seconds. After that I had protected sex with her before withdrawing after 5 minutes and then I ejaculated with my hand outside. I'm afraid that I might have been infected again as I used the same hand for ejaculation with which I removed the condom which had vaginal fluids on it. The vaginal fluids must have got transferred to my penis from my fingers while I was ejaculating. Today I found out that while I was masturbating, my foreskin was swollen and there were some white dots on my penis top. I had a tingling feeling after I washed it off. The white dots went away after washing but came back in the evening. I went to my doctor and he gave me some antibiotics for 15 days and told me to get tested for HIV HBSag, VDRL and Herpes. I am again in a soup i think now.

Now can this infection really affect my HIV Result ? I was not on any medication since past two weeks. I took some antibiotics for the flu which I had 36 days after the exposure. Can that also affect the result.

Please reply.

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Andy Velez on February 25, 2012, 02:24:10 pm
Non-reactive means you tested negative. You are HIV negative. There is no need for further concern or testing.

Get on with your life. 
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on February 26, 2012, 03:05:22 am
Hi Andy/Ann,

Thanks for replying. I know I am asking a bit too much but would like to know about the following. This will be my last post on this thread for sure -

Is it test conclusive or should I retest after 5 more days so that the window period of 3 months is complete ?
Is this test reliable or is there any possibility of a FALSE NEGATIVE?

Now can this fungal infection on my penis could have really affected my HIV Result ? I was not on any medication since past two weeks. I took some antibiotics for the flu which I had 36 days after the exposure. Can that also affect the result.

Thanks in advance!

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: jkinatl2 on February 26, 2012, 06:29:39 am
Hi Andy/Ann,

Thanks for replying. I know I am asking a bit too much but would like to know about the following. This will be my last post on this thread for sure -

Is it test conclusive or should I retest after 5 more days so that the window period of 3 months is complete ?
Is this test reliable or is there any possibility of a FALSE NEGATIVE?

Now can this fungal infection on my penis could have really affected my HIV Result ? I was not on any medication since past two weeks. I took some antibiotics for the flu which I had 36 days after the exposure. Can that also affect the result.

Thanks in advance!

Regards,

as81

Your test is conclusive. The five days will not make a difference. You are reliably HIV negative.

Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Ann on February 26, 2012, 06:45:46 am
as,

I totally agree with Andy and JK; you are conclusively hiv negative.

The additional activities you are worrying about with the recent sex worker experience are nothing to worry about when it comes to hiv. None of the activities were risks for hiv infection. Yes, I read the whole thing. Touching your penis with her fluids on your hands was not an hiv risk.

If you haven't already tested for the other things the doctor mentioned, then you'd be wise to do so. All of them are MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv. However, you do NOT need further hiv testing.

You are conclusively hiv negative.

You do NOT need further hiv testing.

You do NOT have hiv!

Ann
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on March 07, 2012, 01:07:06 pm
A lot of thanks to Rapid, Andy and every member!

Special thanks to Ann - You have been very comforting and concerned and have given in-depth & humble replies to my queries regularly.

I wish you all the best of life..!!

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Andy Velez on March 07, 2012, 05:07:59 pm
OK. Now get on with your life and remember to always use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse. No exceptions.
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on March 12, 2012, 01:39:53 pm
Hi Andy/Ann,

Sorry to bother you people once again. I went to my doctor(urologist) for treatment of the bumps on my penis which were most probably caused by unprotected oral sex. He gave me an ointment to apply on it. Also, he said that I should get tested for HIV after three months as there are microscopic pores on the penis through which HIV can be transmitted through oral sex if the girl(escort) is HIV positive. Now I am in deep worries again as a urologist is saying this. Also, i went through CDC website which also says that HIV transmission through oral sex is possible. The girl performed oral on me for about 10 seconds after which i withdrew and ejaculated with my hand. What are the chances of acquiring HIV through 10 seconds of oral sucking ?

Please advise.

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Andy Velez on March 12, 2012, 02:02:40 pm
Very unfortunately medical practicioners sometimes are not as up on HIV issues as they ought to be. Your doctor maybe a fine urologist but he his out to lunch about receiving oral being a potential risk for HIV.

Receiving oral is one of the most common of sexual activities. To date there has never been a single case confirmed of transmission of HIV to a guy via his getting a blowjob. Not one. You aren't going to make history by becoming the first. It's very unfortunate that he has mistakenly fed your fears about this issue.

You were not at risk through getting oral sex. 
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on March 23, 2012, 12:13:19 pm
Hi Andy/Ann,

Hope you guys are doing well.

Just had a quick question :

Should I have an HIV Elisa done for reassurance that I am not infected with HIV after a brief session of oral sex ? Or should I just stop thinking about it anymore ?

Regards,

as81
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Andy Velez on March 23, 2012, 01:22:40 pm
How much clearly can I say that you did not have a risk!!! So there's no need for testing unless you can't let go of your fear and want the inevitable negative result to put the issue to rest for you.

But as far as needing a test because of risk, you don't need one. Got it?

Get on with your life. 
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: as81 on July 25, 2012, 01:59:57 pm
Hi Ann/Rapid,

Hope you people are doing well!

I went in for protected intercourse with a CSW. During the process she licked my testicles as well. However, after 15 days, I got mild tingling and a wart on my left scortum which made me visit my urologist yet again. He told that this might be an STD. He gave me medication and referred me to a dermatologist for the wart thing.

To my horror, the dermatologist (MD) said that HIV can be transmitted from the mouth through licking testicles, as there might be microscopic ruptures on it due to previous scratching. As a result he has asked me to get tested for HIV in 3 months time.

Can this genital wart on my scrotum and tingling in penis head also be an indicator of HIV ?

Kindly advise as I am getting anxious yet again.
Title: Re: Condom burst while having vaginal sex with a sex worker- feeling suicidal
Post by: Ann on July 25, 2012, 02:24:34 pm
as,

This dermatologist doesn't know his arse from his elbow when it comes to hiv. Saliva is NOT infectious.

I'm giving you a long over-due time out. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann