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Author Topic: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)  (Read 8020 times)

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Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« on: August 13, 2014, 11:25:25 pm »
Ok, Well, here it is, my big confession lol, at least it feels that way.

So, I'm 25, M, from England and straight (If that matters). On Dec/13 I got a HIV test that was Negative. So I know I contracted HIV this year after testing positive just last week. Considering I have had sex once this year I know who gave it to me. Problem is, is that it was a one night stand with an American girl and I didn't even catch her name as she rushed out of my apartment that very same night. Obviously I have been dealt a pretty shitty hand here as I have always been told "You're not at risk" and therefore had always done these tests just for my own piece of mind. As a matter of fact this most recent test I basically had to demand it from my doctor who thought there was no point. Again I heard the words "You're not at risk". Those four words mean nothing to me now. If you have unsafe sex, you are at risk, simple.

Anyways on a positive note since my diagnosis last Thursday I cant say my life has changed for the worse so far. As a matter of fact I feel somewhat relived as this will now force me to get to the doctors every 3-6 moths for blood work and medical checks that i would've never done without being HIV+. It also means that I will have to live a healthier lifestyle as I now know I have no choice in order to help my immune system fight. I know HIV can cause death as it progresses to AIDS, I'm not stupid, but my doctor has told me "don't worry, this is a manageable chronic condition these days, similar to diabetes, and as long as we find you the medicine that works for you, with side effects you can live with, and you adhere to the drug regime, you will live to be an old man and live a normal life". I believe him.

This brings me to the next part of how this has effected me. I now see things for what they truly are now. All of a sudden friends and family are way more important than possessions and other crap we think we need. I have a new found love of nature and scenery. I appreciate things I would of normally taken for granted before my diagnosis. I have started to love myself again and realise life is too short to work in some office for someone you hate, so i quit my job on monday and am going to start volunteering for some local charities. I'm also going to follow my dream of making music (a passion of mine I've always wanted to pursue). I know i have a long road ahead but I'm done worrying about it and I'm going to start living again.I have since found a psychiatrist and some support groups in my area also to help me through this too.

Another thing people talk about is the "Stigma" well, this how I'm looking at it. I own that information. Legally in the UK you don't have to tell anyone as long as they are not at risk of infection ie you don't wear a condom etc. So no one will ever know about it apart from people who love and care for me and they won't stigmatise me at all. I have told my parents and they are so great with it, I love them to death and they act as my confidents in the process so i cant talk to them about it openly if i need to. I refuse to tell anyone It's just no ones business but my own. Plus I've kept bigger secrets than this before ;). At the end of the day its just a virus and the way medicine is going we will have a cure before I'm 60 (I hope lol). Anyways so anyone out there who's in the same boat as me, just diagnosed, confused and angry, cry it out and then start to think about what's important to you, love life again. I guess I'm just lucky to realise this stuff right away.

I also hope some of you find it helpful so comments are always welcome. X
Thanks for reading, Peace and love.

Offline mlc83

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2014, 01:01:31 am »
Sorry to hear about your Diagnosis.. and welcome to the forum fellow European!

I was recently diagnosed as well and really understand what you mean when you say that you started appreciating things that before you would normally take for granted!

I think your positive attitude is really inspiring! 

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2014, 07:06:25 am »
Im really happy you guys like the post! I think it's paramount we don't make that big of deal of it because from a Medical stand point I've spoke to 2 doctors who have personally told me that diabetes is worse. The prognosis for a HIV+ person is similar if not better than that of a normal person these days. Also by the time we are 60 the virus would have been around 70 years, and we have already cured 15 people from HIV as of this date so it's hard to believe we won't have a cure at some point over the next 30 years. So let's not worry! Stay happy and try to think of it as just a little part of you, not you're entire being.  ;D

Offline Ptrk3

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2014, 09:36:21 am »
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but glad to hear your diagnosis was discovered so early after diagnosis, so your immune system has not been relentlessly attacked for years.  Many people (me, for example), don't find out for years when damage has been done.  Good for you for being on top of things.  Your positive attitude will serve you well.  Also, I hope you are right and a cure comes well within your lifetime.  Best wishes for a full and healthy life to you and everyone with this infection.
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Offline leatherman

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2014, 10:10:17 am »
already cured 15 people from HIV as of this date
not to burst your bubble; but only one person has been "cured" of HIV. For that person, HIV was eradicated from his system more than it was "cured". The other patients have all had to remain on medications to keep the virus suppressed.

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/how-many-people-have-been-cured-hiv-one-n161546

However, don't let that dampen your positive ;) attitude. My own positive attitude has kept me alive with HIV for over 30 yrs now, and the current array of medications has kept me pretty danged healthy. Right now it's more "age" than "aids" that is causing my problems. LOL

welcome to the forums and best wishes!
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline mecch

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2014, 10:16:44 am »
Im really happy you guys like the post! I think it's paramount we don't make that big of deal of it because from a Medical stand point I've spoke to 2 doctors who have personally told me that diabetes is worse. The prognosis for a HIV+ person is similar if not better than that of a normal person these days. Also by the time we are 60 the virus would have been around 70 years, and we have already cured 15 people from HIV as of this date so it's hard to believe we won't have a cure at some point over the next 30 years. So let's not worry! Stay happy and try to think of it as just a little part of you, not you're entire being.  ;D

Welcome to he forum.

I am certainly glad you are upbeat. 

I am going to be bit of the Devil's Advocate so for 1) I will apologise in advance and 2) hope you take what is constructive and ignore what is not.

It sounds to me that you are being a bit manic, naive, and prone to faulty logic in your "positivity".

First of all, who told you "we have already cured 15 people from HIV as of this date".  This is BIG news for this Forum, and I am sorry to say, I think you are mistaken.  A very few have been cleared of virus after stem cell transplant and chemo and which included 1) successful fights with otherwise terminal cancer, and 2) heavy to experience, very expensive, and life-threatening stem cell transplants.  That is hardly a cure in a sense meaningful and applicable to the millions of us HIV+.

Second, stick around this forum and search for threads about the diabetes comparison.  It will be an eye-opener.  The upshot is that this is a rather odd comparison of apples and oranges.  Its 2 different ball games and we don't need to go around ranking chronic conditions like this.

Third, I'm with you on the expectation of a "near normal lifespan" but you are doing 2 things with this new concept to living well with HIV.   
1) "The prognosis for a HIV+ person is similar if not better than that of a normal person these day."  I presume you are referring to the British observation that some HIV+ are going to do "better" than HIV- simply because the HIV+ see doctors so often.  But listen, the experience in life is going to be quite different and carrying HIV+ in the body for decades, and taking treatment for decades is not going to be the same as living virus free AND going to the doctor all the time....
2) you seem to have somewhat oddly aligned lifespan good news with an impulsive (IMO) action - to quit your job at a very young age, because:  "I have started to love myself again and realise life is too short to work in some office for someone you hate, so i quit my job on monday and am going to start volunteering for some local charities."

Ok great - it IS a privilege of youth to explore and discover ones calling.  But I am assuming you have the means to support yourself during this new endeavour.  It would be, IMO, a bit counter-productive to put oneself in economic peril due to a shock (like an HIV diagnosis).   I suppose, not knowing your bank account, that you are going to need to have a career -- something reliable, meaningful, and which bring in an income. 

With the prognosis of normal life span - all the more reason for young people with HIV+ to NOT "throw care to the wind" and rather to live life normally and a bit with the head to the ground - meaning career building - whatever that may be - financial independence and security, and yes, probably something young people don't much like to think about - retirement planning and saving...

___

I'm going to agree somewhat with your "So let's not worry!" stance but probe it a bit to make sure its not flippant and ignorant...  I daresay in one way of looking, in line with your overall logic (that HIV is uber no big wup), would be to take an HIV diagnosis and have no reaction much at all - just keep on trucking business mostly as usual. But that is not what you have done - you radically changed your actual daily life and your way of looking at the world.

But its great you have family support, health care, proactive attitude and some interesting balance and choices in your reaction...   
« Last Edit: August 14, 2014, 10:24:22 am by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2014, 10:58:13 am »
Firstly to this not to burst your bubble; but only one person has been "cured" of HIV. For that person, HIV was eradicated from his system more than it was "cured". The other patients have all had to remain on medications to keep the virus suppressed.

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/how-many-people-have-been-cured-hiv-one-n161546

However, don't let that dampen your positive ;) attitude. My own positive attitude has kept me alive with HIV for over 30 yrs now, and the current array of medications has kept me pretty danged healthy. Right now it's more "age" than "aids" that is causing my problems. LOL

welcome to the forums and best wishes!---------------------------

What about the 14 people in France functionally cured of HIV? with the "berlin Patient" thats 15 who live of meds...

Offline mecch

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2014, 11:03:23 am »
Yes adding in the french people is an interesting way of looking at it.
By the way, what about you?
Were you diagnosed in seroconversion?  I was!
Were you put on drugs during seroconversion? I wasn't  :( >:(

As for brass tacks matters, how are your numbers?
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2014, 11:20:20 am »
Mech i just typed a massive response but it got deleted somehow! Fuck...

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2014, 11:22:19 am »
Mech - I have only had HIV for 4 months so i still have a 2 month window to try and do what they did in France.

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2014, 11:22:56 am »
The medicine is toxic though and I'm trying to weigh up the pros and cons.

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2014, 11:28:18 am »
If i take meds and it works, i have a functional cure, If i take them and it doesn't then I've just take 7 years of meds i didn't need. :s

Offline mecch

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2014, 11:30:25 am »
The medicine is NOT toxic.
Also, the medicine IS life-saving...

You have a LOT to learn.

As for the french study - I believe it is a LOW proportion of people who are treated IN seroconversion - many people did not get the good result. 

My personal feeling is that if that sort of hypothesis is interesting, one would take treatment ASAP and six months after infection is CERTAINLY not ASAP.

I got it 3 or 4 months after infection and I know I was not "functionally cured" because i have had blips over the years since.   

Really, the French thing is optimistic for a "population" but it really nothing you should be putting personal stock in for yourself.. Highly unlikely you will have a "functional cure" due to early treatment, you have missed the boat, my dear. And even if you had been onboard, it would have still been unlikely.....

I am sorry to probe, but do you have actual numbers to post, or not? Seems to me you should have some numbers, dear...  Post them please.

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2014, 11:44:59 am »
CD4 - 450

VL - just over a million.

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2014, 11:46:17 am »
I'm not hoping for anything but at least proves cures can happen. I think you're missing the point a bit, this post was made to help people not to neg people out.

Offline mecch

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2014, 11:55:41 am »
I'm not hoping for anything but at least proves cures can happen. I think you're missing the point a bit, this post was made to help people not to neg people out.
A newbie calling HIV treatment "toxic" isn't helping him/herself, nor is it spreading "positivity".
Your other thread was naive.
I hope you stick around here!  ;D
Just that, you don't get to decide what responses you will have, and what information will be offered you, with a simplistic, self-centred attitude along the lines of "Please I only want replies from people who are going to confirm and share my prejudices and worldview." 

Let it all come in.   

If later on, you feel that someone is abusing you or you just don't want to deal with things outside your bubble, you can "block" that person. 

Before you do that, listen and consider with an open mind.  ;D
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline mecch

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #16 on: August 14, 2014, 12:00:19 pm »
1 million 4 mouths out is not a great response.  It was similar to mine, I never had much less than a million and then it started rising, not falling.  Thus I was on treatment fast.  I would guess, and I'm not a doctor, that if your vl continues like that another month or two, you will be advised to start treatment.

To live "positively"... you will have to change your attitude that treatment is "toxic".

In 10 years, the treatment may very well have been improved once again.
Treatment is your friend, ok?!
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #17 on: August 14, 2014, 12:04:07 pm »
I see what your saying but I'm going to choose the latter, and listen to doctors rather than a none medical professionals opinion on an internet forum. Cheers.

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #18 on: August 14, 2014, 12:06:21 pm »
If you think the information i have is wrong you should take it up with the English NHS. :)

Offline mecch

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #19 on: August 14, 2014, 12:11:39 pm »
What information?

By all means you should listen to doctors!

Wish you all success.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline WhenWhereWhyHow

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #20 on: August 14, 2014, 12:22:08 pm »
Do you have nothing better do than slate someone who made a positive post based on my own experience that may (or may not) help people? You aren't newly diagnosed are you? So why are you even on this part of the forum? Is it troll people that "Have a different view to you?". Im not looking for an argument and i understand my other post may have been a bit silly looking back on it. But that doesn't mean you have to dash peoples hope who may have found comfort in this post. Sometimes we need positivity. My doctors themselves provided all the factual information I just didn't pull it out my bum. So next time, please think before you troll.


X.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2014, 12:39:11 pm by WhenWhereWhyHow »

Offline mecch

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #21 on: August 14, 2014, 01:17:12 pm »
If i take meds and it works, i have a functional cure, If i take them and it doesn't then I've just take 7 years of meds i didn't need. :s

The reason people start meds is because they need it NOW to live well and live long.  Your reasoning is way out of whack here.  In all likelihood you are going to be on meds soon enough and it is NOT going to be a waste of time, those years on meds, if you are not functionally cured. In fact those years on med will have kept you alive and healthy. 

Your reasoning is all over the map.

Since you experience my input as trolling, I'll sign off for the moment on comments to you.  My apologies. 

Good luck.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Jeff G

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Re: My Somewhat Positive, Positive diagnosis. :)
« Reply #22 on: August 14, 2014, 03:00:51 pm »
This thread has been locked .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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