Ex girlfriend has Hiv

[zhalla]

Hi,

This is my first post here, i've found out this forum a couple of weeks ago while searching for hiv info after my 3yrs girlfriend disclosed her status. It felt comforting finding out that there was hope and that hiv isn't the death sentence i thought it was.

So here's my story, my gf cheated on me last year and got involved with someone + (he knew of his status), they had unprotected sex so she also got it...

That person told her he was + short time after, so she soon found out of her status and avoided further sexual contact with me, claiming she just wasnt in the mood to have sex and that need some space.

Ultimately she confessed everything and asked for a 2nd chance, but i decided to break up with her because i loved and trusted her more than anyone and that trust is gone now... cheating is a dealbreaker for me...

Anyway, I still care alot for her and I want to support her, as a friend, in this tough times, but I have been having difficulties supporting her properly... I want to get close and talk with her everyday, but if I do that i'm hurting myself and giving false hope to getting back together.

I am sorry if this isn't much clear and if I am not using proper English, but would really like to hear some opinions and if anyone was in a similar situation.


Regards,
Z.

[jennynyc7]

Hi Z,

Yeah, cheating is definitely a deal breaker for most. You are taking the right steps however in supporting someone that you care for. All you can do for now is soak up all of the information that you can and be there for her as much as possible without of course, like you said, leading her on. I believe that if you are clear on your intentions she should understand, I know I would. I really commend you on being mature about the situation and not deserting her in a time of need. Is she doing ok? Is she on meds? I sincerely wish you the best. I urge you to invite her to join these forums as well. Take care.

Oh, and I am a poz female, recently diagnosed and doing wonderful.

j

[zhalla]

Hello,

Thank you for your kind words jenny. Yes, that's what i have been doing this last few weeks, educating myself the best I can and trying to be as supportive as possible.

I have stated my intentions to her, she understands but thinks that I broke up because of her status, which hurt and still hurts a lot. But I know she is having a real bad time, so I try to be more patient\tolerant.

She seroconverted in january and was diagnosed in february, she started truvada and stocrin(sustiva) 2 months ago and has CD4 350 and undetectable VL. She didnt have many side effects from the meds and the doctor was happy with the blood results, so I guess she is doing good.

I already showed her these forums, but I don't know if she actually joined, so I guess i'll remind her of the good these forums can bring to her.

Once again, thank you for your kind words, I hope you keep doing wonderful. Take care.

Regards,
Z.

[hotpuppy]

She's lucky to have a friend like you who cares enough to still be involved. 

Give her a hug, let her know you love her as a friend.  Stay strong.

If by chance being around her does lead to something sexual, be sure you have condoms available.  It's as much for her protection as yours.

Sometimes hiv neg partners will think too much about themselves.  The reality is that with a screwed up immune system I'm the one who has to worry about getting a sinus infection, cold, etc.  Those are really easy to pickup.

[ARMANDO]

GIVING FALSE HOPE IS NEITHER GOOD FOR YOU AND DEFINITELY NOT GOOD FOR HER!!