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Author Topic: Sleepless in South Africa  (Read 3071 times)

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Offline jayne doe

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Sleepless in South Africa
« on: June 30, 2008, 01:26:34 pm »
Hi All, thanks for such a wonderful and informative website, coming from a country like South Africa in which HIV is pandemic, this is a great source of real information.

I have read the lessons etc but I am still stressing as I have read on some SA websites that condoms are not 100% effective.  So here is my question.  About a year ago I slept with a fellow South African, we used a condom and as far as I could tell the condom remained in tact, in fact I checked it in the rubbish bin the next day and the guy had tied a knot in the end and all the stuff seemed to be in the bottom of the condom.  I have asked the guy his HIV status which he promises me is negative, but how can one ever be sure that he is telling the truth?  Do you think I need to test after this incident.  I feel so terrified of HIV that I can't just have a normal sex life as I am convinced I am going to get HIV.  Also is there anyway that seamen can somehow come out of the base of the condom and infect someone that way?  And lastly, does anyone know of a case where someone contracted HIV through a once off protected vaginal incident?

Thank you in advance for any answers.

Jayne
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Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Sleepless in South Africa
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2008, 03:46:31 pm »
Jayne, your fears and concerned are shared by many others. But I can tell you in confidence that as long as your partner(s) always use a latex condom each and every time you have either vaginal (or anal) intercourse, then you are well protected. Condoms really do the job every effectively. If one should break you would know it very visibly because it ends up looking like a fringed hula hoop on a guy's penis. It's not about teeny tiny holes. If it fails it fails big time.

It's true that nothing except sex by yourself is going to be 100% effective. But we know from long experience in the epidemic that condoms, properly worn, do a very effective job of preventing transmission. You don't have to be concerned about semen somehow working its way up the condom and leaking out. It just doesn't happen. Really.

And anyone who says they became infected while a condom was being used either is not reporting accurately or the condom broke or wasn't worn properly. Make sure the fella uses one everytime and you can enjoy a healthy sex life.

No, I don't think you need to get tested over that incident. We do in general recommend that anyone who's sexually active ought to regularly have a full STD panel done,which means at least once a year. Other STDs are much easier to get than HIV.

Cheers,
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Andy Velez

Offline jayne doe

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  • Posts: 3
Re: Sleepless in South Africa
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2008, 04:44:30 am »
Thanks Andy, I really appreciate your response.  So do you seriously think I can just move on from this and not worry about this incident anymore? As I have felt frozen by this for the last year and constantly imagining different ways that the condom could have failed without me noticing.  So can I assume in future that if all the semen is in the tip of the condom that the condom hasn't failed?

Thanks again. ;D
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Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 34,126
Re: Sleepless in South Africa
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2008, 08:24:20 am »
If I had any doubts I would say so. Move on, move on and enjoy your life, sexually and otherwise. And just make sure that any lucky fella you're with wears a condom for intercourse.

Cheers,
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Andy Velez

Offline jayne doe

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  • Posts: 3
Re: Sleepless in South Africa
« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2008, 09:58:01 am »
Thank you for your kindness and patience Andy, it is very much appreciated.  I think I will finally be able to stop stalking the poor guy and demanding to know his HIV status  ;D
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