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Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: GSOgymrat on September 13, 2013, 05:49:35 pm

Title: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: GSOgymrat on September 13, 2013, 05:49:35 pm
No this isn't The Onion. I'm at a loss...

Matty the Damned would know what to say.

Chinese ‘paranormalist’ arrested for exorcising a ‘haunted vagina’ with his penis

http://freethinker.co.uk/2013/09/09/chinese-paranormalist-arrested-for-exorcising-a-haunted-vagina-with-his-penis/

A man who claimed he could could use his penis to rid a woman of ghosts that had taken up residence in her vagina, was arrested in China after performing the “sexorcism” for which he charged $3,000.

Huang Jianjun was arrested in the Guangdong Province after he convinced A Xin that he could remove evil spirits from her vagina by having sexual intercourse. A day later, Xin reported the incident to the police, and Jianjun was promptly arrested.ghost

The victim allegedly came to the self-styled “ghost hunter” because she needed help seducing her boss who she had a crush on.

Xin, an employee of a spice shop was so infatuated with her boss that she sought Jianjun’s help to seduce her employer. Jianjun said could help the two fall in love by performing an exorcism.

The pair allegedly met in a hotel room where Xin was asked strip naked. Jianjun then convinced Xin that he needed to have sex with her and that it was the only way to get rid of the evil spirits. He caimed his dick would banish the vaginal squatters who were preventing Xin and her boss from falling in love.

Jianjun insists that he never had sex with the Xin and that he can’t get an erection due to diabetes. He is currently in jail awaiting trial in Guangzhou.
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: mitch777 on September 13, 2013, 05:56:49 pm
Well, all vaginas tend to scare me, but no offense to the ladies. I'm gay. sssshhh... :) boo!
Sexorcism. Hmmm... LOL!
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: Jeff G on September 13, 2013, 06:04:51 pm
The only evil spirits that ever flew out of me were from norvir .

I wonder why its an assault if she consented to the vaginal exorcism ? I would have my lawyer check up in there for evil spirits and if none are present declare the exorcism a success .   
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: mitch777 on September 13, 2013, 06:52:05 pm


I wonder why its an assault if she consented to the vaginal exorcism ? I would have my lawyer check up in there for evil spirits and if none are present declare the exorcism a success .   
Good point.  Seems like the ghostbusters might have done their job. Wish he was around 30 years ago. :)
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: WillyWump on September 13, 2013, 08:05:27 pm


ghosts that had taken up residence in her vagina

THIS is the best stuff I've heard all week.

I've had a skanky vaj a time or two back in the day, but this takes the cake!
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: anniebc on September 13, 2013, 08:12:27 pm
I don't really see what the problem is, she just paid $3000 to have sex, end of.

If she believed her box was haunted and full of ghosts more fool her.

Aroha
Jan :-*
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: WillyWump on September 13, 2013, 08:15:06 pm

.. her box was haunted and full of ghosts

Aroha
Jan :-*

our lovely Jan referring to it as a box, lmao! Can this day get any better!!  ;D
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: anniebc on September 13, 2013, 08:19:24 pm
Well, all vaginas tend to scare me, but no offense to the ladies. I'm gay. sssshhh.

No offence taken by this lady.

I have looked up, poked and prodded more vaginas than any of you will ever see in your life time, and some of them scared the bloody life out of me, so you are not alone.

Just to be clear this is when I was nursing.. ;D

Aroha
Jan :-*
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: mitch777 on September 13, 2013, 08:23:51 pm
No offence taken by this lady.

I have looked up, poked and prodded more vaginas than any of you will ever see in your life time, and some of them scared the bloody life out of me, so you are not alone.


Aroha
Jan :-*

Whew! And eewh! :)
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: anniebc on September 13, 2013, 08:26:05 pm
Whew! And eewh! :)

LOL @ Mitch.

Aroha
Jan :-*
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: wolfter on September 13, 2013, 10:11:44 pm
How can they prove a negative if he claims that he did indeed rid her vaj of "ghosts".  I suppose if they do find ghosts, she could sue in civic court for failing to fulfill their contract?  Perhaps she just needed the cobwebs removed.
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: tednlou2 on September 13, 2013, 10:35:22 pm
Who ya gonna call? 

I actually always enjoyed vaginas.  Well, unless there was ectoplasm. 
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: WillyWump on September 14, 2013, 09:29:05 am

I actually always enjoyed vaginas.   

Oh they are nice, so long as you don't look directly at them. It's definitely not all sprinkles and cupcakes down there. ;)
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: mitch777 on September 14, 2013, 10:19:28 am
Oh they are nice, so long as you don't look directly at them. It's definitely not all sprinkles and cupcakes down there. ;)

They can be dry and yeasty too. (I heard) Just ask Betty. :)
http://vimeo.com/24423906
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: BT65 on September 14, 2013, 03:26:27 pm
They can be dry and yeasty too. (I heard) Just ask Betty. :)
http://vimeo.com/24423906

I was like, "Just ask Betty," what?

Listen, looking at penises is not all it's cracked up to be either.  Especially if they're flaccid.  Even if they're stiff, it's like looking at a piece of a branch that fell off a tree. 
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: britchick on September 14, 2013, 04:12:39 pm
((((((Betty Lol!)))))))))))

britchickx
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: anniebc on September 14, 2013, 05:38:55 pm
They can be dry and yeasty too. (I heard) Just ask Betty. :)
http://vimeo.com/24423906

That made me laugh.

I was like, "Just ask Betty,"
Listen, looking at penises is not all it's cracked up to be either.  Especially if they're flaccid.  Even if they're stiff, it's like looking at a piece of a branch that fell off a tree. 

Again Betty I have looked, poked, prodded and jammed swabs down a lot of penises in my time.

Looking, prodding and poking is not much fun, but hearing a grown man scream when you ram a swab up there is sometimes music to my ears...and the sight of those white knuckles holding onto the sides of a hospital bed is something to be seen, but don't tell the guys I said that.  ;)

Aroha
Jan :-*
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: WillyWump on September 14, 2013, 09:30:22 pm

Listen, looking at penises is not all it's cracked up to be either.  Especially if they're flaccid.  Even if they're stiff, it's like looking at a piece of a branch that fell off a tree.

lol.

Well at least ours doesn't look like a sad old man with a bad haircut.
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: Jeff G on September 14, 2013, 09:52:53 pm
lol.

Well at least ours doesn't look like a sad old man with a bad haircut.

speak for your self , mine looks like a baby elephant wearing an afro . 
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: Basquo on September 15, 2013, 01:18:27 am

Who ya gonna call? 


BOX BUSTERS!
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: anniebc on September 15, 2013, 01:38:54 am
BOX BUSTERS!

LOL.

Aroha
Jan :-*
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: mitch777 on September 15, 2013, 09:39:14 am
I was like, "Just ask Betty," what?

Listen, looking at penises is not all it's cracked up to be either.  Especially if they're flaccid.  Even if they're stiff, it's like looking at a piece of a branch that fell off a tree.

Sorry Betty, guess I should have described that better. tee hee.

btw- I want to plant a few of those Indiana trees. :)
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: klassykitty on September 15, 2013, 06:59:54 pm
@ Betty and Annie--Lol !!!!!!!

The best description I have heard, I will have to remember them.

Michelle 8)
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: WillyWump on September 15, 2013, 08:41:38 pm
speak for your self , mine looks like a baby elephant wearing an afro .

have you considered joining a circus?
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: mitch777 on September 15, 2013, 08:52:05 pm
have you considered joining a circus?
how would they promote that? :)
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: WillyWump on September 15, 2013, 08:56:15 pm
how would they promote that? :)

very carefully
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: GSOgymrat on September 19, 2013, 06:59:45 pm
Sweden is not the United States.

Public masturbation is now legal in Sweden*

http://thedailyedge.thejournal.ie/masturbation-sweden-public-1089505-Sep2013/

*As long as you’re not masturbating AT anyone.
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: mikeyb39 on September 20, 2013, 12:07:49 am
Sweden is not the United States.

Public masturbation is now legal in Sweden*

http://thedailyedge.thejournal.ie/masturbation-sweden-public-1089505-Sep2013/

*As long as you’re not masturbating AT anyone.
[/quote
Lets go now
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: GSOgymrat on September 20, 2013, 01:13:43 am
Sweden is not the United States.

Public masturbation is now legal in Sweden*

http://thedailyedge.thejournal.ie/masturbation-sweden-public-1089505-Sep2013/

*As long as you’re not masturbating AT anyone.

Lets go now

That's a long way to go to come.  ;)
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: OneTampa on September 23, 2013, 10:40:16 am
HGTV Host:  "I love what you've done to the place.  It has a few of your personal touches."  ;)
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: darryaz on September 23, 2013, 11:06:37 am
I have looked up, poked and prodded more vaginas than any of you will ever see in your life time, and some of them scared the bloody life out of me, so you are not alone.

I used to date a (male) nurse who got a huge amount of perverse pleasure from describing, in great detail, any particularly revolting genitalia he had come into contact with during the day to me........ during dinner.
Title: Re: Man Exorcises Haunted Vagina With His Penis
Post by: skeebo1969 on September 23, 2013, 12:11:16 pm
No offence taken by this lady.

I have looked up, poked and prodded more vaginas than any of you will ever see in your life time, and some of them scared the bloody life out of me, so you are not alone.

Just to be clear this is when I was nursing.. ;D

Aroha
Jan :-*

I poked one when I was 21 that I think may have turned rotten.  She cooked a mean plate of catfish out of love, but to be honest, it wasn't worth the work.