POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: nottosure on August 03, 2006, 10:53:59 am
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I am a man and last week tried to have unprotected sex with my new boyfriend. He tried to have anal sex with me but he was not excited enough and was limp. After a few times of him trying to get it in we just gave up. Sorry for being graphic.
I freaked out and went ahead and got tested for hiv the next day which was negative of course. I am now waiting for the 3 month period to go again.
I looked under the are you at risk section but did not see anything for "almost" did it. I am just wondering if my risk is any less since there was no real penetration?
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You were never penetrated.
I fail to see any HIV risk in the scenario as you described it.
However, you tried to have unprotected sex? How come? Until you and your partner have reliably tested negative, and have decided on a mutually exclusive relationship, using a latex condom is essential to avoid STDs, including HIV.
As Ann says, to consent to having unprotected penetrative sex is to consent to the possibility of getting an STD, including HIV. It's so easy to avoid HIV sexually, and I urge you to do so.
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It doesn't seem to me from what you have reported that there was any penetration. If that is so then I don't see any risk nor any need for testing.
However I do want to ask how come you were trying to have unprotected intercourse? You need to know that everytime you have unprotected intercourse you are putting your life at risk. It's as stark and as simple as that. So what does it matter if you get all anxious afterwards about it when the thing you really need to do is to not put yourself at risk in the first place.
You can have all the sex with whomever you want to as often as you want to. But if you are going to have intercourse, whoever is the insertive partner must be wearing a condom. They provide very effective protection.
This time I don't see any cause for concern about the incident but you need to learn from this experience and quit gambling with your life. It doesn't matter how much you like the guy or how great he looks or what you think you know about him. A latex condom is a must everytime.
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Thanks for the quick reply. We were both drinking and it was a heat of the moment thing. I know it was STUPID of us about 2 minutes after.
So even though there was contact and pushing beteween us(sorry for being graphic again) the risk should be fairly low?
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Not,
The risk in the event you describe was not "fairly low", it was non-existent as penetration did not take place. What happened would fall under the heading of "frottage", which is a fancy way of saying that you rubbed body parts together without penetration. Frottage is NO risk.
Make sure you and your partner(s) are using condoms from now on for penetrative intercourse. Check out the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can be sure they are being used correctly. A correctly used condom rarely breaks and they are excellent protection against hiv transmission.
Use them.
Ann
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Again thanks for the quick responce. I will take this experiance to heart and make sure I use protection no matter what.
Would it be possiable to get STD's from "Frottage" like gonnarea or clamidia in my case since the urethra was definatly in contact with the rectum?
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I will start in saying this board is a godsend. I have read some of the other boards and the responces were almost mean when someone is going through such a difficult time.
I posted my problem in another post about my almost penetration experience and was told there should be no risk. I don't believe any penetration was involved since he was semi flacid, just a lot of pressure even though we gave up after a few minutes it was still uncomfortable.
With the possibility of almost penetration in mind I am still going to go ahead and get tested at 4 weeks and 3 months just to make sure. I know the for sure window is 3 months.
My question is is what are the percentiles for accuracy at say 4 weeks and 6 weeks?
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Zero on the 4 weeks and a very good sign of what you will test out at 13 weeks. Four weeks is to early.
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You would be better off testing initially at 6 weeks rather than at 4. At 6 weeks all but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will have done so. (The average time to seroconversion is 22 days after an exposure). The earlier negative should be confirmed by a re-test at 13 weeks.
Given what you have described I would expect you to test negative.
You do need to learn from this experience. You can have all the anal sex you want in either role as long as the insertive partner is always wearing a condom. No exceptions.
Cheers,
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Could all that contact back there have transmitted other STD's?
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Nottosure,
Please do not create a new thread with each new question or comment. You should be posting in your original ( http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2503.0 ) thread.
Thanks,
Morgan
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not,
I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.
If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.
Please also read through the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Ann
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Could all that contact back there have transmitted other STD's?
While not extremely likely from the experience you describe, skin to skin contact does carry some risk of spreading other STD's which are far more infectious than HIV. Fortunately, for all of the common bacterial diseases such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis there are very easy effective treatments that can cure these problems.
As you should know by now if you're paying attention - get regular STD screenings when you're sexually active to stay healthy!