Author Topic: I feel bad!! (Read 16729 times)

flyman · « **on:** December 09, 2013, 10:16:34 pm »

Today I was a bystander in watching two very promiscuous older guys have sex at a campground. They both had no protection and the top asked the bottom if he wanted him to ejaculate in him and he said yes. I had condoms in my pocket and feel I should have interjected and offered them a condom. I feel very bad even though I am sure they had no intention or desire to use one. I was simply a bystander and wasn't invited in any of this. Ghezz the top did ask the bottom very clearly if he wanted it, what should I have done?

Jeff G · « **Reply #1 on:** December 09, 2013, 10:22:32 pm »

Quote from: flyman on December 09, 2013, 10:16:34 pm

Today I was a bystander in watching two very promiscuous older guys have sex at a campground. They both had no protection and the top asked the bottom if he wanted him to ejaculate in him and he said yes. I had condoms in my pocket and feel I should have interjected and offered them a condom. I feel very bad even though I am sure they had no intention or desire to use one. I was simply a bystander and wasn't invited in any of this. Ghezz the top did ask the bottom very clearly if he wanted it, what should I have done?

I don't think your input ( no pun intended ) was something they were interested in at the moment . I would have assumed that if two consenting adults choose not to use condoms then its their business .

flyman · « **Reply #2 on:** December 09, 2013, 10:25:24 pm »

Thanks, It was obvious they were in that lifestyle. Wasn't like a spontaneous act, more like this is what we do.

wolfter · « **Reply #3 on:** December 09, 2013, 10:26:34 pm »

Quote from: flyman on December 09, 2013, 10:16:34 pm

Today I was a bystander in watching two very promiscuous older guys have sex at a campground. They both had no protection and the top asked the bottom if he wanted him to ejaculate in him and he said yes. I had condoms in my pocket and feel I should have interjected and offered them a condom. I feel very bad even though I am sure they had no intention or desire to use one. I was simply a bystander and wasn't invited in any of this. Ghezz the top did ask the bottom very clearly if he wanted it, what should I have done?

How close were you to witness all this? And why did you stay tuned in so long? How do you know they're promiscuous? Sorry for all the questions.

Wolfie

oksikoko · « **Reply #4 on:** December 09, 2013, 11:38:33 pm »

Quote from: flyman on December 09, 2013, 10:16:34 pm

Today I was a bystander in watching two very promiscuous older guys have sex at a campground. They both had no protection and the top asked the bottom if he wanted him to ejaculate in him and he said yes. I had condoms in my pocket and feel I should have interjected and offered them a condom. I feel very bad even though I am sure they had no intention or desire to use one. I was simply a bystander and wasn't invited in any of this. Ghezz the top did ask the bottom very clearly if he wanted it, what should I have done?

Were it me, and it has been, I wouldn't have been too interested in hearing whether or not a third party thought I should use a condom or not, and I don't see any way you can possibly be even remotely responsible for anything that may have happened there for lack of a condom.

Of course, they were out on display, so maybe they were hoping for pointers and encouragement from the peanut gallery? Did they respond to applause and catcalls or were they in their own coital world?

Context really is important for us to get to the bottom of this.

GSOgymrat · « **Reply #5 on:** December 10, 2013, 01:27:41 am »

"Pardon the intrusion, but can offer anyone anything? Lubricant? Condom? A refreshing beverage perhaps?"

I'm confident that is how Emily Post would have smoothed over such a sticky situation.

mecch · « **Reply #6 on:** December 10, 2013, 01:59:29 am »

Quote from: flyman on December 09, 2013, 10:16:34 pm

Today I was a bystander in watching two very promiscuous older guys have sex at a campground. They both had no protection and the top asked the bottom if he wanted him to ejaculate in him and he said yes. I had condoms in my pocket and feel I should have interjected and offered them a condom. I feel very bad even though I am sure they had no intention or desire to use one. I was simply a bystander and wasn't invited in any of this. Ghezz the top did ask the bottom very clearly if he wanted it, what should I have done?

Do you understand the sarcasm of the responses?
Do you expect us to "clutch our pearls" in shock and dismay to mirror your feelings?

Thanks, It was obvious they were in that lifestyle. Wasn't like a spontaneous act, more like this is what we do

Is this your first time at the rodeo? Get out some more and you'll see all sorts of things that will shock your delicate sensitivity...
What is "that lifestyle"? People who bareback? People who cruise in public places? Perhaps, people who bareback in view, in public cruising grounds / sex clubs, etc?
Very promiscuous older fellers who do that, mind you.

(Curious here. What exactly is "older" - just wondering. 45? 60? 70?)

You did register that there was a semblance of dialogue between them. Do you want me to cum in you? So there's that. Also maybe there was a question before the act started, Do you want to use a condom?

These are "negotiations" that I have overheard and done myself in my barebacking days. No, its not safe sex, nobody is fooling themselves. But its something of a "nicety" -- flimsy as it is.

Also Ive passed out condoms to strangers many a time but never to a couple in the act who are oblivious to other people's presence or not engaging the voyeurs in anyway.

Also I've been in group situations in sex clubs where someone will be going at someone bareback and another will join in and ask for a condom and someone will produce one and no big deal. One will be barebacking and other not. Round robin. Is this overheating you? Most of the time these were men who were impossible to "read" as to their "lifestyle" or their sexual habitudes.

What you get is what is before your eyes. The action unfolding. I think some of the sarcasm is a warning to you not to presume you can "assume" a lifestyle and more to the point - why bother? But maybe, Is this what made you feel bad - that you discovered that people bareback?

So I'm going to ask. What exactly about this act you saw as a voyeur is making you feel bad. Maybe if you put words to it, we could understand and comment.

If its the bareback, or the anonymous barebacking, I suggest you need to steel your nerves a bit if you want to continue enjoying yourself cruising in public. Maybe of course you were there having a picnic and just saw this, so I shouldn't assume YOU were cruising. My bad.

Back in the 90's when I lived in New York I would cruise in sex clubs in Paris sometimes and the practices were less safe and bareback sex was out in the open - a shock to my delicate NY sensitivities. In fact, I remember in 2002, 2003 I did feel disturbed in certain clubs where there was so much barebacking. Like you I talked about my feelings to my friends and also I just never went to those places again. I remember two in particular. It was "too much" and a buzz kill for me so I didn't go back. Maybe thats what you need to do.

flyman · « **Reply #7 on:** December 10, 2013, 05:49:21 am »

Well many questions so here goes. Older? Well I guess fifty's would qualify in my thinking although I wish I were back to that age.

First rodeo,No, but have not seen much barebacking. Simply know the risk and always try to help but this act was ongoing and they enjoyed my viewing and wanted me to join in. I guess after the fact is when I felt bad but the responders are right, it wasn't my place to be the sex police. I have passed out a condom or two before in the past but it was not their first rodeo for sure.

Maybe if I had gone to finishing school I would have been more skilled in handling the show as the poster pointed out, Emily Post and all.

Jeff G · « **Reply #8 on:** December 10, 2013, 06:51:34 am »

Remember guys, a gentleman always supports himself on his elbows while having intercourse .

flyman · « **Reply #9 on:** December 10, 2013, 07:39:20 am »

LOL, you folks have made my day. Thanks

Dan0 · « **Reply #10 on:** December 10, 2013, 09:33:16 am »

Quote

If its the bareback, or the anonymous barebacking, I suggest you need to steel your nerves a bit if you want to continue enjoying yourself cruising in public. Maybe of course you were there having a picnic and just saw this, so I shouldn't assume YOU were cruising. My bad.

I'm going to go out on a limb and just 'assume' that when one is in a public park with condoms ready for rapid dispensing that they are not necessarily there for a picnic. If he had said, 'I have some in my car that I could go get, I would buy it. Who goes around the parks (at least in my neck of the woods) with accessories unless it's 'lock and load' time?

flyman · « **Reply #11 on:** December 10, 2013, 10:35:47 am »

Ha good point. Of course I was there looking for a little fun. That said I only do oral and on the few occasions I might meet someone there I would always use a condom. Its just that kind of place.

buginme2 · « **Reply #12 on:** December 10, 2013, 11:06:41 am »

This wins the most bizarre post of the day.

Was one of the guys George Michael? I hear he's got the AIDS now. You should have tackled him.

flyman · « **Reply #13 on:** December 10, 2013, 11:08:20 am »

Theyer · « **Reply #14 on:** December 10, 2013, 01:25:53 pm »

1990 or 91 a very Good Club in Barcelona had Guys patrolling the back room making sure all was safe , wish I could remember its name , Good soulful House from 2 am onward . One off the Patrollers carried a feather duster.

mecch · « **Reply #15 on:** December 10, 2013, 01:35:37 pm »

You never really put your finger on what made you feel bad...
That you couldn't do anything about something that upset you?

Joe K · « **Reply #16 on:** December 10, 2013, 01:46:54 pm »

Quote from: mecch on December 10, 2013, 01:35:37 pm

You never really put your finger on what made you feel bad...
That you couldn't do anything about something that upset you?

I believe that what bothers the OP. is his judgmental attitude towards the "promiscuous older men" and the fact that they should have been using condoms. Seeing that they were not, he considered intruding into the business of strangers, to tell them what he thinks they should be doing. And now he feels bad, because he could not force them to follow his beliefs.

Joe

intaglio · « **Reply #17 on:** December 10, 2013, 05:40:43 pm »

Fly,

For some men I've known, having sex naked on a picnic table was called just another Tuesday.

Those two could be a couple out livening up their sex life. And being invited to join doesn't automatically mean you'd be allowed to engage in less-safe behavior without requiring you to don a condom.

As for Emily Post, et al., I stopped going to orgies years ago due to my inability to follow etiquette. The orgies were great, but writing the thank-you notes afterward quickly became unmanageable.

oksikoko · « **Reply #18 on:** December 10, 2013, 05:49:51 pm »

Quote from: flyman on December 10, 2013, 10:35:47 am

Ha good point. Of course I was there looking for a little fun. That said I only do oral and on the few occasions I might meet someone there I would always use a condom. Its just that kind of place.

Forgive me for pointing this out, but I find it ironic that you're sort of sanctimonious over the barebacking, meanwhile, you're cruising a park for sex, something several inveterate barebackers I know would never do.

flyman · « **Reply #19 on:** December 10, 2013, 06:50:21 pm »

Wow you guys are really wired to tight. All this judgmental nonsense. I think you should take your mind-reading skills to a place that others might be impressed. What a leap.
Simple facts are
1- I am older than the ones having sex.

2-I could careless about what they like or dislike or what their lifestyle is like.

3- I was only thinking of the risk [how judgmental of me] and thought afterwards that maybe I could have done a "good deed" and helped them out of maybe a bad situation caused by passion,booze, drugs who knows.

4-Now that I have experience the wisdom of this board [Ghezzzz]] I am relived to have my number 2 item reenforced Thanks.

mecch · « **Reply #20 on:** December 10, 2013, 07:12:40 pm »

Thanks for answering.

You do realise most people cruising and having sex in cruisy places are fully aware of the risks they are taking. If they wanted to use condoms, they would have. I doubt that the barebacking was an "accident" instigated by booze passion or drugs but who knows.

I know in the summer some of the hiv prevention groups go to the parks in Switzerland at night, sit on a bench, light a few candles and hand out condoms and lube and talk to who ever wants to talk about whatever. Maybe if HIV prevention is your bag you could get involved in public outreach where you live.

flyman · « **Reply #21 on:** December 10, 2013, 09:19:56 pm »

Naw I simply thought I should have made a simple statement like " I have rubbers if you need them" nothing more, nothing less.
My conscience is clear though thanks for all the thoughts, even the bazaar ones from some.

GSOgymrat · « **Reply #22 on:** December 10, 2013, 10:56:31 pm »

Quote from: flyman on December 09, 2013, 10:16:34 pm

Today I was a bystander in watching two very promiscuous older guys have sex at a campground.

I am assuming this was a gay campground and not KOA.

Quote from: buginme2 on December 10, 2013, 11:06:41 am

Was one of the guys George Michael? I hear he's got the AIDS now.

I didn't know he was HIV+ but based on his song lyrics I am not surprised.

flyman · « **Reply #23 on:** December 11, 2013, 07:44:19 am »

Yes a Gay camp ground.

Ann · « **Reply #24 on:** December 11, 2013, 07:57:33 am »

Fly, you had an opportunity to comment on the lack of condoms when they asked you to join in.

Habersham · « **Reply #25 on:** December 11, 2013, 08:09:55 am »

I had assumed it was a gay campground. The reasons people go there (closest I can guess is)

1) The have a fetish for walking around naked in public
2) They want to have sex in the bushes
3) They would like to have sex with strangers on picnic tables
4) It excites them to be watched while having sex
5) It excites them to watch others having sex
6) They enjoy the chance to not shower with others who don't shower

Did you not know any of this?

I'm sure my list is incomplete. My guess is there are not a lot of 20 somethings there as they can do this with their roommates.

flyman · « **Reply #26 on:** December 11, 2013, 08:42:11 am »

Ha, good list. It is a gay campground and has a large age spread. Nude at the pool and trails. Also girls are there at times so it is both.
As for me I go very seldom but do like your list but not #3 Funny how a simple post can generate so many different thoughts.

Ann,
Guy #1 asked guy#2 to do the deed on him that's when I should have offered but didn't even though guy#2 was all for it so the rest is history. As for me, guy #1 asked me to join in during the act, I said "no thanks" [Ghez I'm writing a book LOL] As I have said, this discussion has eased my conscience.

Let's see who's on first? guy#1 guy#2 or Guy#3 I give up, hope they enjoyed it.

tednlou2 · « **Reply #27 on:** December 11, 2013, 07:24:54 pm »

There is a gay, nude campground around here called Camp Buckwood. If I was asked to join in, I would ask whether anyone wanted a condom. Hell, I may just deliver them to every campsite. Reading more and more articles how HIV infection is going up, especially in younger MSM. I don't think it is intruding on someone's business, when they are having sex in public. Inside their own tent is a different story. And, it is just asking whether anyone needs one. If answer is no, then leave it at that.

flyman · « **Reply #28 on:** December 11, 2013, 07:37:12 pm »

Yup good point, that's what I wish I had done. This campground does have free condoms also.
Hey, bottom line, these two guys were not new to this and both did exacticly what they wanted. I simply wish for MY own sake I said something like anyone want a condom. I would have never joined in with them anyway. I have offered condoms before in a different circumstance and was thanked afterwards. These two however were not new to this and i doubt if they would have stopped to suit up.

Jeff G · « **Reply #29 on:** December 11, 2013, 07:42:20 pm »

With a little practice you guys can run in and slip a condom on during the upstroke like a campground safe sex ninja ... and wear a cape, your gonna need something to wipe your hands on .

flyman · « **Reply #30 on:** December 11, 2013, 08:05:03 pm »

LOL. Yup I will be the old guy with a bag of condoms. Maybe I can get a business going. For one low price I will provide the condom, slip it on and provide the moaning for affect!!

tednlou2 · « **Reply #31 on:** December 11, 2013, 08:05:36 pm »

Quote from: Jeff G on December 11, 2013, 07:42:20 pm

With a little practice you guys can run in and slip a condom on during the upstroke like a campground safe sex ninja ... and wear a cape, your gonna need something to wipe your hands on .

I did come as condom man one Halloween. Pun intended. I found it last minute. Condom head dress and added a dildo for my taser. I will have to find photos of that awful costume. I think I was already infected, so I couldn't help myself at that point.

Edited for spelling

LiveWithIt · « **Reply #32 on:** December 11, 2013, 10:26:54 pm »

Quote from: flyman on December 09, 2013, 10:16:34 pm

Today I was a bystander in watching two very promiscuous older guys have sex at a campground. They both had no protection and the top asked the bottom if he wanted him to ejaculate in him and he said yes. I had condoms in my pocket and feel I should have interjected and offered them a condom. I feel very bad even though I am sure they had no intention or desire to use one. I was simply a bystander and wasn't invited in any of this. Ghezz the top did ask the bottom very clearly if he wanted it, what should I have done?

Mind your own business, they are probably already both poz, and if not they know what they are doing.

mecch · « **Reply #33 on:** December 11, 2013, 10:37:08 pm »

Quote from: flyman on December 11, 2013, 08:05:03 pm

LOL. Yup I will be the old guy with a bag of condoms. Maybe I can get a business going. For one low price I will provide the condom, slip it on and provide the moaning for affect!!

You mean a fluffer.

Ann · « **Reply #34 on:** December 12, 2013, 07:39:35 am »

Quote from: flyman on December 11, 2013, 08:05:03 pm

provide the moaning for affect!!

You could also provide the crappy background music.

Jeff G · « **Reply #35 on:** December 12, 2013, 07:46:45 am »

We have one of those crusey gay campgrounds near where I live but I have yet to visit . I call it Muddy River Anal RV Park because they advertise that you can swim naked in the creek . I hear that the place is really busy in the spring and summer and that they have cabin rentals or a bunk house if you like that kind of thing .

wolfter · « **Reply #36 on:** December 12, 2013, 07:51:30 am »

We also have a few gay campgrounds. The other Gregg was much more out there where as I used to be a bit of a prude. The first time, I was sure I'd find it repulsive and swore I'd be one of those wearing clothes the entire time.

Gregg was naked before the car stopped. After a couple of hours and a couple of drinks, I looked around and realized I had nothing to be embarrassed about. After that I truly enjoyed going and tanning nude. No panty lines.

Although, I think I got a bit of a burn in the wrong place the first time.

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Author Topic: I feel bad!! (Read 16729 times)