POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: lydgate on September 10, 2006, 06:31:30 am
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Just back from the hospital. With 7 stitches and 2 "staples." Still in shock, close to tears.
From the bar I went to the one late-night pizza place. Made eyes with a boy. We start talking. We laugh. We start walking home (my place). We smoke a cigarette. We sit on a bench. We're a little... cosy (i.e., we're making out, kissing). Four women approach us. "So, you were making fun of us." What?! No, we weren't, you must have someone else in mind.
"NO, bitch!." Kick with big heels. Arms. Stomping. Then, a bottle was broken over my head and I can feel the blood flowing. Brian is being kicked in the balls and is bleeding also. Then they run.
"Call 911" I manage to mumble. A crowd has gathered, there were lots of witneses, it was still "only" 2 a.m. on a Saturday night. Big commotion. Police arrives. Ambulance arrives. I look at Brian -- his face is a bloody mess. I look at myself in the cops' mirror -- mine is too.
At the hospital -- stitches, staples. Oh gawd! For the stitches, near my eye: about 17 "pricks" of lidocaine before the stitches could be done.
Leaving the hospital: my wallet's gone. Have to get the hospital to call the police to drive me home. And here I am, with a face and chest still caked with dried blood, wondering why bad things happen to good people. And hoping Brian is OK as well.
"Vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore."
Jay
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I am very sorry. What happened to you is something I always think could happen to me and one of the things I fear most.
Four WOMEN did that? >:(
I wish you both a quick recovery.
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(((((Jay)))))
That really sucks - so sorry it happened to you. Hope you heal quickly - especially the damage to your psyche, which can linger if you're not careful. Talk to a counselor at a crisis center or similar if you feel you're having a difficult time shaking off the emotional effects. Hope you're friend is ok too.
Ann
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Wow, very sorry to hear about your assault. I hope they catch the people who did that.
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Four WOMEN did that? >:(
I wish you both a quick recovery.
what Juan said!! what Ann said too. be careful out there sweety
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I'm so sorry for you :'( and hope you get over this quickly. I have been attacked twice, it's something that can linger in your system for a long time. I hope you both will be well.
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Jay,
I am sorry to hear that you were hurt!
Sometimes it's hard to believe how mean and nasty some people can be >:(
VERY SICK JERKS!!
FEEL BETTER, JAY
PEACE,
kELLY
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Very, very sorry mr :( & angry >:(. Get well soon
- matt
Now playing: Depeche Mode, I Feel Loved (Danny Tenaglia remix)
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I am so very sorry this happened. I can't believe it was women who did that :( That's just aweful :(
I hope the healing happens quickly, both inside and out.
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Wow, sorry to hear about that. Hope you will be okay. Cristy
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I'm sorry and angered to hear this Jay.
May swift vengeance and terrible retribution be yours.
>:(
MtD
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Jay,
I am terribly sorry for what happened to you and angered too.
Do get help to talk this over. I wish you heal from this, inside as outside.
big ((((((((HUG)))))))))
Pat
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OMG...this makes me so sad. I am sorry this happened to you
Feel better soon Jay
(http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g312/hckytwngrl/bighugs.gif)
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Jay,
>:( I'm sorry to hear this. I hope you have a speedy recovery.
Cliff
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How awful! I'm at a loss for words and totally saddened by this. My thoughts and well wishes go out to you and Brian both.
Take care
Jeff
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Jay,
Sending good thoughts for a quick recovery. I am so sorry that this happened to you. Big hugs to you.
Christine
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Jay,
So sorry this happened to you. Hope they catch the ones that did this.
Hugs
Teresa
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>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
This just pisses me off! Jay, I am terribly sorry this had to happen to you and Brian. Just want to make sure you both are okay...this I know, will take some to recover from emotionally...believe me I know! But you will recover and you will be stronger for it...in the mean time, I hope they catch the bitches so you can ram a stiletto down there throats!
I will not apologize for the way this makes me feel...it makes me so angry...
Jay, you and the rest of us deserve to live our lives free of fear...and...well...I am close to tears myself...
Again, I am sorry this has happend to you my friend, I wish you and Brian nothing more than a speedy recovery, and swift justice!!
Godspeed my friend!
Much love...
Jeromy
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Hello,
Sorry to hear this had happened. I am hoping they catch those responsible !! I have known some pretty tough women in my days.( I wouldn't want to mess with them. ) one was doing time for man-slaughter
That was quite a few years ago. Any idea, what brought this on....
Take care of yourself
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Oh man! Or it should be Oh Women?
After seeing remake of THE WICKER MAN last night, your encounter gives me chills.
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Hi Jay,
I'm also really sorry this happened. I'm not trying to make light of the situation, but were these real women or maybe drag queens? In any event, I always thought men were the more violent of the sexes. I know it'll take some time for the emotional scars to heal, but they will, for the most part. What you've experienced is one of my greatest fears. Obviously, being gay doesn't add to our safety. Man, I'm about ready to move to the campground where I always feel safe. Take care and keep us updated on things.
David
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Where did this happen?
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So sorry, Jay, this happened to you and your friend! Allow me to say one or two things about the subject of violence against gays and lesbians, please. First, you really should do everything imaginable and make sure these women are found and punished. Now, I am not sure how much the American police can be trusted on the subject and, for this reason, I strongly advise you to hire a lawyer --- if possible.
Second, when and if they are found, you really should press charges against each and every one of them. In case you decide to do that, you should also be prepared for retaliation/blackmail from them. It is indeed a tough choice, but it is the one a heterosexual person would do. Now, why gays and lesbians don't do the same beats me every single time! I know that the fear of being harrassed and, especially, beaten again is overwhelming. However, until we, gays and lesbians, don't follow these simple rules, there will be always attacks against us. Of course, this is easy said than done, but it is the right thing to do if, once and for all, you wanna live your life with dignity.
Know that there are --- or there should be --- ways to protect yourself and your friend from the blackmailing as well. You won't believe the things a good lawyer is able to do!
It is interesting noticing, and since we're discussing this sickening subject, that violence against gays and, get this one, especially against lesbians have increased considerably in France as a whole, but especially in Paris. It is even something that the gay press is urgeing Parisian gays and lesbians to tell friends who visit the city to be aware of...
Just when you thought that it was safe (and generally accepted) to hold hands and show your love and affection to your honey, in public, in one of the most liberal capitals of Europe, the violence starts all over again! But this time, and no one knows exactly why, the lesbians are in the front line.
So, Jay, I do hope you'll have a speed recovery and, hopefully, the police will do what it is paid for and these women will get the punishment they deserve. You are not alone in this fight! The first thing to do is to get in touch with a Human Right Association, AIDS Association and/or any organization you think might be able to help you out with this thorny matter. The important thing here is "to take action!"
Peace to you.
Val
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I am so sorry to hear this Jay. I hope you and your friend will both be o.k., and also I hope that these people are caught.
Remember though, that even if they are not, that doesn't mean they "got away with it".....the wheel of Karma is pretty far-reaching.
Hugs,
Alan :'(
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We share our society with animals. I sorry you ran afoul of four of them. I wish you a speedy recovery, you and your friend. The anger will be the hardest thing to overcome. Reach outside yourself for help.
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Wat wait wait......... WOMEN did this to you?
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Thanks guys, for all your good wishes. All of you know, I hope, that they mean a lot to me.
I'm fine. Reading old sci-fi novels, lounging on the couch, eating (what else?) ice cream. Last night already feels remote. I'm just baffled by the apparent motivelesness of the assault. Money? I had barely a few shekels. Homophobia? But they didn't call us fags or anything like that. Revenge for a (mis)perceived slight? Maybe. Just for the heck of it? That's the frightening one. The police do have their descriptions, there were many witnesses, and I do intend to press charges.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure Brian's OK, he was less hurt than I was; we hadn't gotten to the number-exchanging stage, so I hope to see him around.
Off to queer choir practice, for the first time, in a few hours. And now back to the adventures of Thorby ("Citizen of the Galaxy," Robert Heinlein) and cookie dough ice cream.
Jay
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Jay, what a terrifying experience. Hoping that you and Brian both heal quickly and completely.
There sure is a lot of violence and cruelty in this world.
There's good stuff too but it's foolish to pretend otherwise about the darker side.
Hoping your today is better than yesterday.
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Jay. I'm sorry to hear about this too. The ice cream helps. The queer choir helps. Just picking yourself up and trying to go on with your life helps. It's not easy. I know. But it helps.
good luck.
robert
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Hey Jay,
I'm pretty stunned right now. Sorry such a thing happened to you. It really is maddening. Has to make you wonder WTF makes people tick.
My gut reaction is to wish those people a slow, painful and miserable existence. Truth be told, though, they probably already have that and have to act in this manner to make themselves feel better about their sorry, trashy life.
Speedy recovery to you, and hopefully you can connect with "the boy" again. :)
Shane
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Why people do things like that is just beyond me. I know your good karma will bite them in their respective arses while you get on with your day!
*hugs*
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Hey hang in there! Its things like this that destroy your faith in humans!
Loads of luv and look after yourself
Marshall
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Dear Jay...I am horrified to read about you and your pal getting bashed...I hope the perpetrators are caught and convicted...It is good to hear you are getting back in the swing of things and going to choir practice. Take care and be well.
Jody :'(
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I'm so sorry to hear all this...sending you healing thoughts from NZ...and don't worry those responsible will get what's coming to them eventaully but hopefull sooner than later.
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}
Jan :-*
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Just back from the hospital. With 7 stitches and 2 "staples." Still in shock, close to tears.
From the bar I went to the one late-night pizza place. Made eyes with a boy. We start talking. We laugh. We start walking home (my place). We smoke a cigarette. We sit on a bench. We're a little... cosy (i.e., we're making out, kissing). Four women approach us. "So, you were making fun of us." What?! No, we weren't, you must have someone else in mind.
"NO, bitch!." Kick with big heels. Arms. Stomping. Then, a bottle was broken over my head and I can feel the blood flowing. Brian is being kicked in the balls and is bleeding also. Then they run.
"Call 911" I manage to mumble. A crowd has gathered, there were lots of witneses, it was still "only" 2 a.m. on a Saturday night. Big commotion. Police arrives. Ambulance arrives. I look at Brian -- his face is a bloody mess. I look at myself in the cops' mirror -- mine is too.
At the hospital -- stitches, staples. Oh gawd! For the stitches, near my eye: about 17 "pricks" of lidocaine before the stitches could be done.
Leaving the hospital: my wallet's gone. Have to get the hospital to call the police to drive me home. And here I am, with a face and chest still caked with dried blood, wondering why bad things happen to good people. And hoping Brian is OK as well.
"Vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore."
Jay
Jay-
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hate it when I see stuff like this happen to people. Get well soon and my prayers are with you! :'(
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Dear Jay,
My heart goes out to you! I hope your body heals quickly, emotionally please take your time...
This goes to show that assholes know no gender boundaries.
Love and support,
Andrew
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Jay
I am so sorry for what you had to go thru and what you will have to go thru because of some inconsiderate FUCKS. I do believe stronly what goes around comes around. Wishing you and your freind a speedy recovery both physically and mentaly. Great Big Hugs. Rachel
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always, makes me sad, very sad, when someone has to see that side of human behaviour, makes it so much harder to believe in the good bits.
sometimes, the shouting just drowns out the whispers i think.
heal quickly, keep smiling
Kate
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sorry to hear this Jay. May Karma dish out its revenge slow and sweet and within sight so you can enjoy it!!
Andrew
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Hello Jay,
This is some terrible news that disturbs me. Those four ******* should have minded their own business. WTF? Anycase, I am hoping that you get better soon and take care of yourself.
Have the BEST Day!
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WTF?
I hope you get well quickly. Take care of yourself. We are all praying for your recovery.
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Fucking bitches!!!!
You wanna know the reason to be attacked? SIMPLY: You are a handsome guy, with a beatiful butt , firm pecs and a nice guy...
MEN, BELIEVE: THAT DRIVES ANY WOMAN CRAZY!!! (Specialy, because the last 3...You know, some crazy people simply destroys what they cannot have)....
Now, PLEASE: For the gay/queer pride that joins together every single fag around this planet, from ancient greek times... MAKE SURE YOU ARE EATING LOW FAT ICE CREAM....(Or you will regret later at the gym) -Ok, somebad humor from ine...But I do not care-
Get well...Wait, too straight...Let me re-phrase: GET HOT SOON!! :P
Alex
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??? ??? ???
Hugz
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Disgusting thing to have happen to anybody. I pray that I will still be living in a time were this sort of social intolerance has long been forgotten.
Matt
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Not much of an update. Police have nothing, doubt they will in the future.
What's odd though: meeting my friends and peers, yesterday and today, and listening to their comments of sympathy and horror, was more upsetting than the actual aftermath of the assault. Recited the "story" 20 times today; not looking forward to more of the same tomorrow (still have black eye and noticeable gash etc).
Jay
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Makes me so mad everytime i think about what happened.
Hopefully your eye and your gash will heal where they arent noticeable soon.
Hugs
Teresa
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Jay,
I hope you are doing better... Keep eating the ice cream..
Love
edited for being pissed off at the time.... and not being very nice...
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Well my thoughts and prayers go out to you both. This is a disturbing event. I'm sorry you both had to go through such a horrifying ordeal.Stay strong and get well soon....Much love...
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Hi Jay,
It is hard, because you can feel powerless in these violent situations, even though you are a very strong person, that is evident. I hope you continue to feel better.
Drew
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Jay,
Don't let the story get the best of you! Turn it around like Bush does and say you were fighting off terrorists or saving an old lady from a purse snatcher or some shit!
Specially with people you dont know! That will balance out everything.
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Very, very sorry mr :( & angry >:(. Get well soon
- matt
Now playing: Depeche Mode, I Feel Loved (Danny Tenaglia remix)
Sorry to hear about the awful attack. Those women should be ashamed of themselves.
P.S. Depeche Mode ...rules... ;D