POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Positive Women => Topic started by: Positivelyhopeful on May 22, 2012, 05:16:04 pm
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Hi Ladies,
I'm a young woman (25 y.o.) who's recently been diagnosed and I've been handling most of it well except that my biggest dream seems to have been crushed. I've always looked forward to being happily married with kids and now that doesn't seem very possible. Where I live its difficult to find a suitable partner even in the best of situations but being positive makes it even worse. I love children and I'm so good with them, being an only child for my parents how will I handle not having children of my own? Its absolutely devastating. That's the part I cry about most. I guess you all cant change the situation but I just wanted to vent a bit since I haven't told anyone about my status.
Keep offering the wonderful encouragement you have been.
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Adopt. You get to be Mom and Dad, make unilateral decisions, work your ass off and never enjoy being home more.
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Dwl. That's a wonderful option. I'll def ask you to be the Godparent too. ;) Thanks for lightening the mood Em.
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You're most welcome. There's a kid out there who's already waiting for you.
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I worry about that too positivelyhopeful, I worry about being alone and not having kids, but then I remind myself that there are all sorts of definitions of motherhood, adoption like emeraldize pointed out or being a step mom and many others. Not to mention, there IS still the possiblity of meeting someone and going about it the old fashioned way! Do you ever look at thebody.com? I read some of the women's personal stories on there about all the things they've done since becoming diagnosed including getting married and having kids and it really does boost me up.
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@Em: Thank you!
@Liz: I haven't looked at that site. I definitely will. Its just that where I live people aren't very accepting or open-minded about it. I'd probably have to find someone online or via some other medium but I'm an optimistic person so we'll see. It'll be difficult for me to disclose though, I'm sure.
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Did not know I could not post here. Deleted
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I had my daughter at almost three years positive. I just trusted my doctors and did what they said.
Some irresponsible moment I became pregnant. Her dad left so for the first six years I was a single mom. Then I went online and met my hubby who has been positive for almost 23 years now.
I was on a study that covered my medical cost with my pregnancy.
I also had my daughter natural birth.
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Idee thats amazing!!!! Well, not that your daughter's dad left but atleast you've found love. I am so happy that you have a happy ending to your love story. I pray that I will too. Crossing my fingers and toes about it. :) Thank you all for the uplifting words.
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I met my husband on a site called love is postive. I don't know if it is still up but it worked for me.
I know you'll have a happy ending.
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http://www.lovepositive.com/
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Thanks Idee. You are truly an angel.
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Hi, I am a 36yo hiv+ woman , diagnosed in feb 2008 . I am 10wks pregnant right now. I will say that I am undetectable, and have been since April 2008. My husband, whom i married just last yr, obviously knows and gets tested regularly. I do not have to change my drug regimen but will have to take AZT during the birth, ans baby will have to take it for the first six wks. This is just my personal story, but I wanted to share it with you.
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Hi, I am a 36yo hiv+ woman , diagnosed in feb 2008 . I am 10wks pregnant right now. I will say that I am undetectable, and have been since April 2008. My husband, whom i married just last yr, obviously knows and gets tested regularly. I do not have to change my drug regimen but will have to take AZT during the birth, ans baby will have to take it for the first six wks. This is just my personal story, but I wanted to share it with you.
Thank you so much for your response and wonderful story. I wish you all the best in your marriage, pregnancy and subsequent motherhood. I hope I will be as blessed as you are and find the deep rooted love that looks beyond imperfections. I am genuinely happy for you. Kindly keep me posted as you journey through pregnancy. Believe it or not I anxiously await the fetal movements and sleepless nights. I know, I'm crazy.
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Hi Positively hopeful,
Never give up!!! I am 37 have been positive since 2000 , Have been very lucky have been healthy I am on treatment and viral load undetectable.
I have tried to remain hopefull and positive over the years but have often felt as you do that my dreams of meeting someone special and becoming a mum would never come true.!!
After a couple of unsuccessful relationships, 3 years ago I met my now hubby , he is negative and totally supportive. I am 12 weeks pregnant and over the moon!!!!! I never dreamed I would get here!!
You are young please stay strong ! the right person is out there for you - be carefull not to pick wrong one just because they accept your status ( a mistake I have made in past!) your day will come ! remember you are the same wonderful person as before u got yr status and the right man will appreciate that ! Good luck take care :)
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I was infected at 28 yo and had the exact same fears. Not even a year later I found myself pregnant by accident (from the man in question) and now have a healthy lovely 2 year old boy and I'm confident I'll also have more in the future despite not being with his dad even before finding out I was pregnant. If we knew what was going to happen in the future then it wouldn't be any fun. What will be will be, trust in that if nothing else. I truly believe there is a reason for all of this, even if we don't know it yet xxxx
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I had my child 2 years ago from a man i met on poz personals, you can still have kids and lead a normal life, the world hasn't ended. Kids are not a bed of roses lol, i thought i was going to be at my happiest after having a child only to find out its not a walk to the park at all. Hopefully your dreams will come true one day
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Wow.! I've been wondering this same thing, this is good to know.
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I remember being young and newly diagnosed with HIV AND 5 months pregnant with my son - needless to say I ignored the idiot doctors I had then that told me I should abort (ignorant!). My son is negative and 18 years old. I have a good friend that is an OBGYN and it is very easy to have a baby without passing the virus - the chance is less than 2%. HIV negative woman have higher chances of having babies with other ailments. Please do not despair and find doctors who can give you better information!
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Hi PH
I can't add anymore to what the ladies have already said, I live in NZ so I'm always late to the party, I just wanted to say never say never, and never give up on your dreams.
There is a man out there just waiting for you to walk into his life and when that happens you can start making babies..just think of the fun you'll have doing that.... ;D
Aroha
Jan
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HI AM POS NOW FOR 25 YRS AND I HAVE SIX KIDS WHO ARE NON INFECTED . BY THE GRACE OF GOD NOT ME. JUST PRAY AND ALLOW GOD TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION FOR YOU.. AM NOT A DOCTOR OR THE BEST PERSON TO TELL YOU HOW AND WHAT TO DO BUT THERE ARE SITE FOR US JUST BECAREFUL ON THEM. I'LL KEEP YOU IN PRAYER...... GOD BLESS YOU....