Haven't been here in a while, divorced now & loneliness is killing me

[tippytu]

So I finally divorced my husband after finding him on the Adam for Adam website two different times, oh and punching me and cracking my cheekbone, now I am super lonely... my first exhusband who I foolishly told thinking he would understand because we have 2 kids together is threatening to tell everyone in our tiny town. I've dated one guy who didn't mind my condition but we broke up. I was asked out by an ex and I just went ahead and told him, & he rejected me so fast it wasn't even funny. I've been asked out several times now but I make excuses because that rejection hurt and put me crying in bed for a day. Now I just feel like I'm
Going to die old and lonely..

[Almost2late]

Hi Tippy, I'm so sorry for your situation, I do hope you find a solution.. When he cracked your cheek bone, did you call the police? Bc honestly that is way over the line, you're better off alone at least for the time being.  We never know where our future will lead us or who we will meet, but you won't find out staying in an abusive relationship. Wish you well but I suggest you maybe call an organization in your area that might help abused woman. I hope you find the help you need.

[tippytu]

I already did contact help. No I didn't call the police I left and divorced him

[Almost2late]

My bad, you did say you're divorced, so sorry.
Now you also said that guys are interested in you because you've had others ask you out but you just don't want to go through the whole disclosure thing only to be rejected again, correct?.. I can understand that too..Have you ever tried an hiv support group?  Or have you ever thought of maybe getting with someone else who's poz online, like a poz dating site?
I think more than a relationship you probably need a friend for now and not necessarily of the opposite sex, just someone you could talk to.

[skeebo1969]

  Hi Tippy, it's good to see you around again.   I remember back in the day you telling your story.   I'll hold my opinion to myself about your ex husband..  I know, you are feeling sad right now, but to be honest it was for the best.  You hold the pen in your hand now for the next chapter in your life!

  I know you might not think so, but the strength you are showing in parting ways with the dead weight he gave you in marriage is remarkable, please never sell yourself short!

  I hope you know you are not alone.

  Thomas

[zach]

skeebo is wise, best i not comment either
((((tippy))))

[paintedroom]

Hi Tippy,
You will not be dying old and lonely,that is simply a falsehood born out of a natural and important period of grieving for your marriage,such that it was,and most importantly for yourself.This is a painful period of healing and it can take time.Allow yourself to feel it all,wring yourself out and understand that it`s an important part of catharsis which is an essential element in the certain to be rise out of the mire of very painful memory.It will take time and you will have to remember to have compassion for yourself.
As skeebo has also wisely said, you have shown great character in dropping the dead weight and those that have the strength to do that do NOT end up dying alone and lonely.You also have at your disposal the finest crew of desperadoes,brigands,mountebanks,yardbirds,malefactors,slippery eels and 3 legged asses here on this fair forum..so you will never really be alone.
And trust Zach to come up with such a pitch perfect feeling that i also wholeheartedly extend to you.XO

P.

[harleymc]

Hugs to you tippy.

Sorry you're feeling down.

You're way better off being out of that abusive relationship. Allow yourself a bit of grieving. Stockholm syndrome can hurt just as badly as love does.

[OneTampa]

Hello Tippy,

I agree with the other Board Members.

Glad you are saving yourself.

Take care of YOU now.

All the Best,

OT

[JosephP]

  Hello Tippy... Sorry you feel down and unwanted.. But give time to time and it will become better.. You are not going to die lonely. You may die old, but that is no burden! Chin up and forget those losers you married..

[donna2008]

Same with me loneliness from HIV is agony especially when your partners HIV - and thinks your trash because of your status hang in there I wish I had friends here in Los Angeles <3

[tippytu]

Both of my ex husbands are making my life a living hell right now. The first one is trying to take out daughter that I have raised on my own with no help from him for the last 6 years, he just started paying child support he owes me 23k, but he is going to try to use my HIV against me in court. & this will embarrass me and possibly ruin my career as I work in healthcare. And he says he is going to take our 11 year old daughter to get tested. And that I am disgusting and spreading HIV around because I dated one person since I got a divorce. The other is just constantly harassing me over different things and also says I'm disgusting cause I'm spreading HIV which I'm not I have been undetectable since about 3 weeks after I was diagnosed!!! I'm so ready for a break and to be happy. My heart feels like it is breaking daily and I'm tired of my children seeing me cry. And before you suggest it I'm on antidepressants, anxiety meds and go to therapy. But some days it's still too much and I find myself daydreaming about swallowing every pill I can get my hands on

[skeebo1969]

Both of my ex husbands are making my life a living hell right now. The first one is trying to take out daughter that I have raised on my own with no help from him for the last 6 years, he just started paying child support he owes me 23k, but he is going to try to use my HIV against me in court. & this will embarrass me and possibly ruin my career as I work in healthcare. And he says he is going to take our 11 year old daughter to get tested. And that I am disgusting and spreading HIV around because I dated one person since I got a divorce. The other is just constantly harassing me over different things and also says I'm disgusting cause I'm spreading HIV which I'm not I have been undetectable since about 3 weeks after I was diagnosed!!! I'm so ready for a break and to be happy. My heart feels like it is breaking daily and I'm tired of my children seeing me cry. And before you suggest it I'm on antidepressants, anxiety meds and go to therapy. But some days it's still too much and I find myself daydreaming about swallowing every pill I can get my hands on

Tippy, quit allowing your exes in your life.  They have absolutely no power unless you allow them.  Quit talking to them, the first one has no business even knowing your business.  If they call, allow them to talk to the children, but that's it.  You don't need to converse with them at all. 

Concentrate on your kids and being the best mother you can to them.  They'll never forget it.

If your exes try to push the issue, just ignore them. 

I remember years ago when I was going through a divorce, the judge instructed both of us that it was important to allow the other one to move on with their life.  It's the same for you, and if your exes cannot accept that--that's their problem not yours.