--- Quote from: mecch on April 26, 2013, 07:16:52 am ---Its partly "there but for the grace of God go I."
Consider this, Zohar: witnessing someone strip a dilemma down to a cold and existential binary, (cold, but compelling) and choose what most people consider the bleak path, or crazy path, or nihilistic path, makes one wonder... Well, how secure is my own, "healthy" or "sane", path? How secure is my own fortune, or am I deluded that I live in good fortune? How rational is the "common wisdom" choice? Is God keeping me on the good way? Is it my family and network? Is it my own strength?
Questions like those might arise. Can you see it now?
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I understand the point, but I'm still left with the feeling that the OP is coming across as a bit of a martyr. I mean, he's seemingly being critical of 'guys that give up', whilst at the same time questioning why he goes on with a 'life of hell'. Has the death of the friend made the OP consider forsaking his medication too..?
Jeff G:
--- Quote from: Zohar on April 26, 2013, 10:12:43 am ---I understand the point, but I'm still left with the feeling that the OP is coming across as a bit of a martyr. I mean, he's seemingly being critical of 'guys that give up', whilst at the same time questioning why he goes on with a 'life of hell'. Has the death of the friend made the OP consider forsaking his medication too..?
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Carl is a survivor and he will get through this too . He is in grief over the loss of a friend whom he has compassion and empathy for ... He is venting and your statement that he is coming across as a martyr is offensive and insensitive .
weasel:
Thank you ALL for your kind words . As we all know this HIV life can get to anyone , especially after we loose a friend from AIDS .
I am glad to have a group of people that care so much for so many and have time for me too :)
I don't tend to dwell on HIV daily , Sometimes that may be wrong ?
Weasel
P.S. Mecch , You and I think much alike ;)
weasel:
--- Quote from: Elkan on April 25, 2013, 10:43:54 pm ---I am sorry for your loss. I am also feeling very worried or rather afraid. Every time i hear someone dying from hiv i will think about myself. I am just afraid that i might be defeated by hiv at any second :(
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Hi Elkan , I know this is very new to you . I have been in your shoes , but that was a long time ago . Please do not read into this as " What will happen to me " , You will be fine !
I'm soon to be 59 :o and have had HIV half my life . Today's new HIV Peeps will more than likely live to a ripe old age and not suffer from maladies as some of us went for years with out MEDS and I am sure it did harm to our bodies :-\
But please Elkan , Take your MEDS and be happy where ever you can find happy .
Weasel
P.S. Feel free to PM me if you like :)
mecch:
--- Quote from: Zohar on April 26, 2013, 10:12:43 am ---I understand the point, but I'm still left with the feeling that the OP is coming across as a bit of a martyr. I mean, he's seemingly being critical of 'guys that give up', whilst at the same time questioning why he goes on with a 'life of hell'. Has the death of the friend made the OP consider forsaking his medication too..?
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I describe a ruminative thought anyone might have watching someone die. You really don't seem to get this. Ok fine. Don't see the point about the OP being a martyr. Martyrs are killed for their religion or principals. We don't know why the OP's friend chose this path.
The OP mentions his own pain in living. Yes, casually, martyr refers to people who "play the victim" due to constant suffering of some kind. But there's no victimhood displayed here. THe OP gives no agency to HIV. Maybe his friend had some issues, though...
Maybe you are not the type to have ambivalent thoughts.