Mental wellbeing, acceptance, and long term success

[numbersguy82]

Hello. I'm Alan and I was active here on these forums for years, but not since 2012. Tonight I caught the documentary "Positively Naked" and afterwards felt compelled to return here. The aspect of HIV/AIDs that I care most deeply about is also the one that I struggle with the most with in my daily life, mental wellness. I was first diagnosed in 2010 and for the first years I went to monthly doctors visits, slowly told my close family and friends, and then after 2 years achieved the ultimate goal aka undetectable status.

However that period of control was very short lived, and within 3 years of becoming undetectable, my life was in free fall. I was off my meds, recklessly living in ways that I never would have imagined pre-diagnosis, and I was isolating myself.

I don't think I placed enough emphasis on community, fellowship, and most importantly the talk therapy piece and the roles that they took in successfully managing HIV. My family has a history of bi-polar and schizophrenia so it is impossible to tell just what role my diagnosis played in my current mental conditions, but to be 28/30 without any prior issues, to now dealing with (at times) crippling symptoms makes me all the more curious.

I'm glad to see this part of the forum is active and the conversations relatively current. I hope to engage and build back a part of my treatment that has fallen off, kinship- and hopefully make new friends and improve my overall opinions and feeling about HIV and AIDS, but also perhaps unlock more self love and acceptance for myself.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

that period of control was very short lived, and within 3 years of becoming undetectable, my life was in free fall. I was off my meds, recklessly living in ways that I never would have imagined pre-diagnosis, and I was isolating myself.

Sorry to hear that you have been struggling and slightly off the rails. How are you feeling/doing now, and from an HIV treatment standpoint, are you back on treatment?

I don't think I placed enough emphasis on community, fellowship, and most importantly the talk therapy piece and the roles that they took in successfully managing HIV. My family has a history of bi-polar and schizophrenia so it is impossible to tell just what role my diagnosis played in my current mental conditions, but to be 28/30 without any prior issues, to now dealing with (at times) crippling symptoms makes me all the more curious

Just wondering if are you currently engaged in any type of therapy or mental health support/care?

I'm glad to see this part of the forum is active and the conversations relatively current. I hope to engage and build back a part of my treatment that has fallen off, kinship- and hopefully make new friends and improve my overall opinions and feeling about HIV and AIDS, but also perhaps unlock more self love and acceptance for myself.

Well, welcome back and hope to hear more from you.

Not sure if you are interested but the next forum members' monthly gathering (Video call) is this upcoming Saturday, the 14th of Jan. Might be something you would enjoy joining.  https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=76748.0

[numbersguy82]

Hiya,

Sorry to hear that you have been struggling and slightly off the rails. How are you feeling/doing now, and from an HIV treatment standpoint, are you back on treatment?

I think I have found the eye of the storm so to speak, and I am feeling pretty optimistic which we all know can be difficult to do at times, so I amputting myself firmly in the "doing well" category.

Just wondering if are you currently engaged in any type of therapy or mental health support/care?

Oh yes definitely, I have been surrounded by a psychiatrist, talk therapist, and even peer sponsors on/off since 2014. I relocated to Boston last ear, so securing a full time psychiatrist has been challenging, as my diagnosis disqualifies me from telehealth options. 

Well, welcome back and hope to hear more from you.

Not sure if you are interested but the next forum members' monthly gathering (Video call) is this upcoming Saturday, the 14th of Jan. Might be something you would enjoy joining. 

Wow that sounds exactly up my alley! I look forward to it! Do you participate as well?


https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=76748.0

[Jim Allen]

Glad to hear you have some support around you from the psychiatrist and a peer sponsor.

Regarding the monthly meetings, I facilitate the meetings, so I am there and ill add you to the participants' list.