Keeping this simple; waiting for 12-week test.

[curiousgirl90]

Hi all,
First of all, I want to say what a good job everybody does on these forums. I have been poking around and I think I have an answer to my question, but I will ask it anyway.

I'll keep this simple: I am a female. My exposure was heterosexual and vaginal. Condom broke with ex-boyfriend who has had MANY women in his lifetime and most were unprotected. I know it's the act that is risky, not the person. He's assured me he is negative, but who can trust anybody these days? I did give him oral sex as well, but I realize the chances of contracting HIV from that are so remote it's not even worth worrying about, so I won't.

I received a negative result for each STI in a full panel screening at 8 weeks post-exposure. Can I be confident that I will continue to test negative at my 12/13 week test?

The nurse (whom I will probably have to see again) was irritated with my questions and told me (very rudely, I might add) that I will have to wait 6 months to come back. As I have no insurance, I will have to go back to that clinic for the 3 month test. The only free place here is mostly for homosexuals ... they made that very clear to me when I called for a free test. Kind of brushed me off because "heterosexuals are such low risk." I'm quite embarrassed to admit that I will have to lie when I go back to my clinic IF I get that nurse again and tell her I'm doing it for insurance purposes or something because I do not want to be lectured. It's odd because another nurse at the same place told me that results are accurate at 6 weeks, but not conclusive and that 3 months is "plenty of time." I can get my conclusive result in 2 weeks.

My mother thinks I'm being paranoid, and I probably am, but I want to be 100% sure of my status. I will save you the dramatics and just ask you a simple question: are my chances high/moderate that my 12/13 week will be positive given my 8 week negative test?

Thanks!

[jkinatl2]

Hey there

I am sorry you encountered such rude people. The nurse at the clinic should be reported. So should the person who made you feel like the other clinic was for homosexuals only. It's BOTH of those kinds of people who perpetuate the stigma regarding HIV and AIDS, and in my opinion, both have blood on their hands.

First off, you had a risk, yes. A low level one to be sure, but there you go.

However, your negative at eight weeks is HIGHLY unlikely to change. At this point in time, the window period for testing is three months. But this is likely to change in the near future. Most people seroconvert  within 22 days, and your test at eight weeks is pretty much locked down. Please test at three months, though. To be sure.

I am not sure what made me madder. The rude nurse who told you six months, or the dismissive misogynist asswipe who made you feel unwelcome at a HIV testing facility. The first doesn't know her science. The second doesn't care about women's health. You deserve better.

[curiousgirl90]

Haha, thanks. You brought a smile to my face for two reasons:

1. Telling me my 8-week is encouraging.
2. Being upset about the service I've received. I was really upset with the free clinic, I just wanted to shout in the phone, "Heteros get HIV, too!" The nurse at the clinic was SO RUDE, luckily the woman who took my blood was sweet as pie. I'm still going to lie and tell them I need a student visa or something because I left the clinic feeling so embarrassed. I shouldn't, though. Isn't that sad?

Alright, one more question before I buzz off and occupy myself for another two weeks. Have you ever seen an 8 week test turn positive at 12? If this is an inappropriate question, I understand. I know you guys don't really want to feed the fire, so to speak.

Thanks again.

[jkinatl2]

Haha, thanks. You brought a smile to my face for two reasons:

1. Telling me my 8-week is encouraging.
2. Being upset about the service I've received. I was really upset with the free clinic, I just wanted to shout in the phone, "Heteros get HIV, too!" The nurse at the clinic was SO RUDE, luckily the woman who took my blood was sweet as pie. I'm still going to lie and tell them I need a student visa or something because I left the clinic feeling so embarrassed. I shouldn't, though. Isn't that sad?

Alright, one more question before I buzz off and occupy myself for another two weeks. Have you ever seen an 8 week test turn positive at 12? If this is an inappropriate question, I understand. I know you guys don't really want to feed the fire, so to speak.

Thanks again.

I've been doing risk assessment on these forums for going on ten years - which is it's own Greek Tragedy, come to think of it. And even that long ago, who knows how many generations of HIV tests ago, I never saw - and have never seen - someone test negative at eight weeks and then test positive at twelve.

So you would be the first, if my memory serves.

[curiousgirl90]

10 years?! Wow. That is amazing.

Great! Thanks for your time and compassion. I hope that when I test in two weeks my experience is not as horrible as the first time. They're probably going to think, "You, again?" But, hey .. a girl's gotta know!

I'll post my result when I get it, no matter the outcome. Thanks again.

[Ann]

Girl,

I've also been here for over ten years and I have never, ever seen an eight week negative end up positive at three months. I don't expect to either.

I'm also pretty pissed off at the way you were treated. I'm a woman - and I'm hiv positive - and the man from whom I acquired my infection is totally straight. He got it from another woman. We're both just ordinary people - and neither one of us are in one of the so-called "risk groups".

I absolutely hate it when people trot out that tired, inaccurate bullshit about "risk groups". Sexually speaking, the ONLY true risk group is that group of people who have unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. It's not WHO you do, it's HOW you do it. I wish people would get those three letters in the correct order when giving hiv risk assessments.

If I were you, I'd be very tempted to report the woman who implied that straight folks don't get hiv. She obviously has no idea that the majority of hiv infections, world wide, are in straight people. A gay disease? How 1980s. It's a crime that thirty years into this pandemic there are still hiv-ignorant people and worse yet, that some of those people work in the health care profession. And work in the field of sexual health, no less. Criminal!

Don't lie when you go back (and I'm sorry you have to use the same clinic). If they give you shit, threaten them with reporting them to your state or county public health division. Seriously. I mean, how many straight people are they discouraging from testing, and how many hiv infections are they missing as a result? This burns my ass no end.

I hope you can also get a complete panel of STI testing. Some STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test. Is there a Planned Parenthood branch near you? They should be able to help. Also, if you live anywhere near a college or university, there may be another free clinic in the vicinity. Check out the Health Services Directory at POZ.com where you can find services via your zip code. Hopefully you can find a different clinic.

For future reference, there are two leading causes of condom breakage.

One is not using enough, or any, water-based lube. Lube is necessary even when having vaginal intercourse.

The other is having an air bubble in the tip. When you put a condom on, you need to pinch the tip between the finger and thumb of one hand, while rolling it down with the other. Once it's on, give it a firm stroke from tip to base. If there's air in there, you'll see it. If there IS air present, roll it back up and try again. Once you're sure there's no air in the condom, apply plenty of lube and go for it.

You can either watch your fella put the condom on to make sure he's doing it properly, or you can put it on for him. With a little bit of practice and imagination you can make the process of putting a condom on (correctly!) part of your foreplay.

Good luck - I hope you can find a new clinic and I hope you can find an affordable way to get a FULL sexual health check up. (Don't get me started on the American health system - I'm an ex-pat living in the UK and I thank heavens for the NHS.)

I fully expect you to get a conclusive negative result when you re-test. Aside from your understandable and JUSTIFIED anger (DO something about that place!), relax.

Ann

[curiousgirl90]

Ann,

Thank you for your reply. I have had a full panel along with the HIV test 8 weeks post condom breakage, and all those came out clear.

I would go to Planned Parenthood, but they charge $70 for an HIV test at the branch I go to which is just ridiculous. I made the mistake of putting down my parents' income when I went in there, so they have my information. I come from a rural area that is not well funded (and apparently not well educated) when it comes to sexual health.

Sadly, the clinic I did go to is at my university. They probably think I'm nuts because this is the third time I'll be seeing them this semester for an HIV test. The first was with said boyfriend because we wanted to get tested together (his results were negative, but we were not exclusive .. so that's my concern, plus it was my yearly), the second was for a full panel that they were offering during sexual health week after we broke up 2 months later (I used it as a baseline, plus I wanted to be tested for bacterial disease), and this will be my last one (closing the window period). Trust me, I hate getting HIV tests .. it's not fun for me because I really hate needles. I wouldn't have gone back so quickly if our relationship wasn't short lived haha. Is it a little excessive? Sure, but I want to be sure.

I made a joke with the woman took my blood about coming back so quickly and she was really nice. She was like, "Hey! No judgement here, you can always come here when you need to." It was the nurse who gave my results who was so rude. I'm just afraid of seeing her again. I didn't even ask questions about my HIV window period, she came in and told me results were negative and I wanted to see the paper. She sighed loudly and was like, "If you're REALLY THAT worried, come back in 6 months and that's it." Maybe I'm just being silly and maybe they won't even remember me, but who knows? They saw about 500 students during sexual health week.

I do hope that my tests come out negative, I am quite nervous. I'm just trying to stay busy until the day comes.

[curiousgirl90]

Hey Ann and jkinatl2,

I have some good news! I called the one free clinic who brushed me off before to ask them if they have walk-in hours or if I need an appointment. She told me the walk-in hours and if I can't make it, I can also try to walk in and they will squeeze me in but an appointment is definitely better. I told her I would be there in two weeks and she was SO nice and was like, "Okay hun, we will see you then!" I guess they must have fired their first receptionist. She was so helpful and told me they don't get busy on Mondays (walk-in day) so I am more than welcome to come in whenever I want.

This is great news because I don't have to deal with mean nurse and can get a free rapid test instead of waiting a week. I'm pretty happy now Anyway, thanks for your help and I'll be back in two weeks with my result.

[Ann]

Girl,

You're welcome. That's what we're here for.

I'm glad to hear you were able to reach a more pleasant person. Getting hiv tests shouldn't be such a hassle. If I ran the world, rapid hiv tests would be available in every clinic or doctor's office and every nurse and doctor would know how to administer and interpret the tests. It's not rocket-science after all. They would also make sure their patients were tested at least once a year as a matter of routine. It would save so much heartache!

I'm quite confident that you'll be back to report your conclusive negative test result. You should be too.

Please make sure you read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can make sure your fella is using them correctly. A correctly used condom rarely breaks.

Ann

[curiousgirl90]

Hey guys, last question, I promise ...

I know I'm kind of contradicting myself here, but I want to dot my i's and cross my t's so to speak.

I can't become infected through oral sex, correct? I recall a time where I bit my cheek earlier that day then performed oral sex on my ex-boyfriend. Also, I do have slight gingivitis ... I bleed when I brush my teeth. I have never brushed my teeth a few hours before oral sex. Also, there has never been ejaculation, I did taste a little pre-cum though.

In either case, it was 8 weeks from last intercourse and 6.5 weeks from last oral when I got my test.

Thoughts? I don't want to be a worry wart and post excessively, this is my last one after this. Many thanks!

[Ann]

Girl,

Unless your oral health is absolutely terrible (think meth-mouth), then you're worrying unnecessarily. Saliva contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. Not only is the mouth a very inhospitable place for hiv, but the types of cells that hiv can latch onto and infect just are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. (I think JK mentioned this?) A six week negative is highly unlikely to change.

You've dotted all your Is and crossed all your Ts, now all you have to do is draw a line under it with another negative at three months. And that is exactly what you're going to get.

Ann

[curiousgirl90]

Ann,

Thanks. My mouth is definitely not like meth mouth. That makes me feel better. I just bleed when I brush. That was my worry. Plus, I bit my cheek earlier in the day so that was another concern. Thanks for clearing that up.

I made my HIV test appointment today with the non-profit organization. So far, so good. It's a rapid Clearview test.

I'm a little worried right now. I can't help it. I know all the fretting in the world will not change. I know my 8 week is super encouraging, but I'm afraid I might be that person that takes a teensy bit longer. Oh well. I hope I will come back with good news by the end of the week (12 weeks)!

[curiousgirl90]

Negative test thanks for your help! I hope my thread can help some other people some day.

[Andy Velez]

That's a happy result.

Just keep using condoms everytime for vaginal/anal intercourse and you will be well protected against the sexual transmission of HIV.

Cheers.

[curiousgirl90]

I am so sorry that I have to come back here.

I had sex with a 21-year-old straight male (though I guess that does not matter) on Wednesday.

We were wasted drunk, and I definitely know now (from experience) never to mix sex and alcohol. I remember specifically asking him to wear condoms and he complied. I checked repeatedly to make sure there was no slippage.

Here is my question: At the very end, he ejaculated on my stomach. I recall (vaguely) telling him to take off the condom and finish on me. I cannot remember if he took off the condom and then inserted himself back inside of me, or took off the condom and ejaculated on me right away. Does it seem impossible for him to have that great of timing? He did not have to stoke himself or anything. I DO remember him spilling some semen on my wrist and me being careful not to get it inside of me. Though I was drunk, I was being very careful.

Should I test because I'm a little bit hazy? Ugh, I wish I was more careful. I try so hard! Worst case scenario, he was inside me for a very brief amount of time before ejaculating on me. Best case scenario, he pulled out, took off the condom, and ejaculated on me right away.

:/ I need to be smarter. I'm feeling very guilty about this and will never have sex while I'm intoxicated again.

[Ann]

Girl,

This is going to have to be your call. With you being so adamant about him using a condom I really rather doubt you would have let him enter you without one, but you were there. I wasn't.

I hope you realise that getting his cum anywhere on your skin is not a risk. You would only have had a risk if he entered you without a condom. From what you describe, if he did it was very brief and unlikely to result in transmission.

If you do decide to test, you know the drill. The earliest you should test is six weeks and a negative at that point must be confirmed at the three months.

Good luck whatever you decide. And please do learn from this - excess drinking makes it more difficult to negotiate for and have safer sex.

Ann

[curiousgirl90]

You are totally right. I'm trying to go off my gut feeling that nothing happened, but I  suffer from (diagnosed) anxiety, so it's tough.

Another question, I was very sore and swollen at this time, would that make transmission easier? Thanks.

[Ann]

Girl,

In my experience, gut feeling is usually right.

Being sore and swollen isn't necessarily going to make transmission easier.

I really do think you're worried about nothing, but if testing makes you feel more at ease, then wait six weeks and go for it. Please understand that you won't be permitted to use this forum as a place to constantly fret about it.

Ann

[curiousgirl90]

I understand, thank you!