Partner wont test.

[Jason650]

I was diagnosed in the middle of last month and have a low cd4 200-280 count and a viral load some where in the 130,000 range, im 26. Ive been with my partner for 3 1/2 years and hes 52 and refuses to get tested he says there is no way that hea going to be able to beat it and goes on like normal and its been tearing me up stressing me out he says all the tine when i ask him to get tested that if im doing this bad hes going to be doing worse this cant be true right?? It effects everyone differently correct? His counts can be higher and be could be better than mine. I dont think he will ever get checked and he attributes all his issues like lossing sight in one eye and joint paint to age. He wont get tested and i fear one day he will get sick and that will be the end. He doesnt understand the severity of hiv. Has anyone else started treatment at such an age?

[CaveyUK]

Well 52 is still pretty young. Certainly way too young to be taking a fatalistic approach to something like HIV.

The thing is that left untreated, HIV is just the same as it was in the 80s. Eventually, your immune system becomes so corroded that you will get sick, develop AIDS and eventually die an excruciating horrible death. Not to mention, any unprotected sex with others could spread HIV.

If someone finds out their status though, they can get on simple medication, suppress the virus and live a long and healthy life without a worry of being infectious to anyone else.

Given he has a partner who is positive, it's such a no-brainer to get tested that I struggle to see his perspective.

If he was confirmed as positive, your numbers and progress of the disease are completely independent to his as you rightly state. He may genetically cope with the condition better and have higher numbers, or could be significantly worse - and if he is worse, then there really is no time to lose.

It's a recoverable situation but you do need to stress the urgency and importance for him to test otherwise the potential outcome could unfortunately be all too predictable.