Music As Medicine

[Amosboy]

Friends,

I just recently decided to share a little of my world with all of you.  I have been generally pleased with the amount of real intimacy that I have found here.  I want to explore the affect of music and how I am convinced that it has been just as important in sustaining my health, attitude, and general well-being as the plethora of drugs that I have taken over the past ten years.  For the record, it has been almost 21 years since my initial diagnosis, though I did not seek treatment for 10 years, as a result of fear and denial.  Luckily, the HIV did not totally ravage my immune system, though I certainly did enough self-medicating with pot and alcohol to put myself in the grave many times over.  I suppose that is a bit of an exaggeration but I did my fair share of weekend escapes.

I truly credit my love of music for carrying me through the darkest of times, since I kept all of those self-destructive emotions buried deep within my soul.  It's funny that most people, even then, thought of me as such a free and loving spirit, so open and so honest.  All the while, I had the deep, dark secret that I could not share with anyone.  It was around that initial bombshell that I discovered Kate Bush.  Her CD entitled, "Hounds of Love", continues to be a touchstone for me when I feel disjointed and disconnected from joy or people.  When I listen to certain songs, I actually feel a tingling sensation in my head, and it rushes through my body, electrifying my senses.  It is similar to the emotions I feel when when I am sitting quietly on the shore of the ocean, early in the morning when not one soul is around.  I suspect that it is more about letting go and surrendering to something bigger than yourself.  I would not consider myself to be a religious person but most definitely a spiritual one. 

Perhaps, I am communing with something larger than myself when I am listening to music.  I imagine that when I am overwhelmed with these incredible sensations that my body is building itself up and beyond my physical body.  It is the exact opposite of what I feel when I am confronted with stress and uncomfortable situations.  We have all felt our bodies being torn down in moments when are hearts are racing and our heads are spinning.  I suppose I have learned to embrace those moments as well, throwing myself into the heart of the storm.  I would rather have intense moments that are quickly over than to spend days on end, incessantly dodging the inevitable pain. 

Music has continually brought me out of dark places, and at times, placed me in shadowy, angry mindsets.  I guess I am saying that music can be a powerful tool to alter your state of mind.  It can take to places of melancholy, sensuality, bliss, and ego-driven, raw sexuality.  Mostly, it heals, at least for me.  It is the friend that never leaves or disappoints.  I used to be overcome with the strangest of emotions when I listened to music, especially in the company of others.  It would transport me to a place of tears of joy (and of sadness).  Sadness, I say, because I would so want the people around me to experience the ecstatic, aural high that I was feeling.  I would usually end of crying, and then laughing at myself for crying.  Crying in a good way of surrender and willingness to bare my emotions in front of other human beings. 

I know, most of you are saying get this man some Paxil or Prozac, but it is all about intimacy and letting ourselves relate to others.  Music is the easiest way for me to relate.  I love nothing more than turning friends, family, or even strangers on to new music.  Once again, it is a universal healer and steps out of the bounds on any particular language.

Do other people feel this way about music?  Do you?

Let me get back on track now.  Who affected me the most profoundly after Kate Bush?  That would have to be Tori Amos.  Granted, I cannot always easily discern what she is trying to say (or mean) in her music but it touches me in that place where words really have no real meaning.  It is that universal language of evocative sounds.  I do want to interject that I am not purely driven by music that is solely female-oriented, ethereal, and as light as the breath of angels.  I enjoy my Depeche Mode, The Cure, Pet Shop Boys, VNV Nation, Front 242, Dead or Alive, RuPaul, Clan of Xymox, Wolfshiem, And One, and a myriad of other dark, EBM music.  However, my heart and soul feels the most healing from the female voice.

After Tori, I discovered Happy Rhodes, a woman who at one moment sounds like David Bowie and the other like Kate Bush.  Yes, we come back to Kate.  Let's see.  Happy Rhodes is a sage of sorts, sort of obsessed with themes beyond this world.  Maybe she is making her music in hopes of making her own transition easier.  After Happy came Charlotte Martin, who basically made the follow up CD to Tori Amos' "Little Earthquakes", at least it could have been.  The song structure was there.  The piano driven melodies were obviously inspired by Tori, so much that hardcore Toriphiles spit on her, which is so unfortunate.  I actually got to meet Charlotte at a concert in Atlanta and she was so real and unpretentious, all of which made me like her even more.  I finally got the opportunity to share with an artist the impact that her music had on me and my health status. 

MUSIC HEALS.

I guess there have been four female vocalists that have touched me on that healing, opiate-inducing level.  The last being Imogen Heap, also of the group, Frou Frou.  She is another artist who is incredible to witness live, talk about a sensory overload.  If you can find a way to let the music in, it will help.  As I said at the beginning of this long, rambling tangent, it is as vital to me as my medicine regimen.  I hope that this entry is well received and makes a difference to someone.  It is mostly about throwing this beautiful energy back into the universe for me.

I hope that all of you have found something real in this, and if you want to talk more about music, you know who to write.  Whatever means you can find to survive, embrace it and share it.

I finally decided to do just that.

Brooks

[Eldon]

Hey Brooks,

Wow! Let me breathe for a second here....I must say that your overall tone is not off at all. In fact, you are right on target. What an introduction! In fact, Music IS made for the soul. Yes, it IS. Through the voice of music comes many messages that are sent to our very soul within. In fact, our body is made of a certain energy within. Through the cords and the waves of music it does tap into our central nervous system which generate the electrical energy that goes through our body. There is more to that, I will explain it later.

In truth and our reality in this life, there IS something greater. It is The Great Divine. Yes, God. Through him there is an universal energy that exists in this dimension and other multi-dimensions as well. The amazing part of it is that we are all a part of that Universal Energy. In fact, the very energy that you are sending through this message is well received because it is part of the very same source! With this type of energy, it goes well beyond the "traditional religions" that have been taught to us in this symbolist's society that we live in.

Tori Amos...my jaw just dropped when you said that. Not to mention the meditation, trance music that exists just as well. A prime example is Christopher Lobsinger. This artist has the gift from the universe. With female vocals, there is something within those chords and octaves on a variation of different levels that just sends a surge of energy to the soul within. I do agree that through music it is here as a part of our evolution to nurture our very souls.

You do not need to go on Paxil or Lexapro. You are connected to that Universal Energy (our source for our soul within us) that is there when we need it the most. Unconditional support. This is your confirmation.

During the very moment that you made your post, a member and I were chatting on Yahoo IM and we were discussing the very same thing concerning our Universal Energy! It was a clear indication of our discussion as our Universal Energy moves between us. With this Universal Energy, each and every one of us has access to it. It is up to each and every one of us to become aware of its actual existence within our very lives that we live today! You just need to "learn" how to tap into its awesome power!

As you read through the other posts you will find more of this very same Universal Energy at work in all of our lives! Yes, it is exciting! It is nurturing! It is fulfilling!

I want to thank you for taking the time out to open up and share what is within you with each and every one of us. In fact, that is what it is all about! Sharing with each other and supporting one another on our journey in this life! I love this surge or energy that is present right now! As you read this you will feel it come back to you just as well.

What you put into the Universe, is what you get out of the Universe! Universal Positive Energy!

It is the power of Positive thought!

I wish to extend to you a warm WELCOME here at the forums. Here you will find the encouragement, communication, understanding, support, some cries, some laughter, and many of your questions relating to HIV/AIDS answered.

We have a great group of Real People who will listen as well as answer you. We are here to encourage one another and to learn from each other.

Implementing a Positive Mental Attitude will also assist you on your journey in this life as well as a positive impact on your immune system.

Talking to other people helps us see that we are not the only ones with problems. Feel free to come and vent with whatever is on your mind from time-to-time as it is highly therapeutic.

In the interim, you may want to start taking a multi-vitamin, Omega 3 and eat a diet high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low-fat dairy and avoid processed foods, saturated and trans fats. This will also help you maintain a healthy weight.

Exercise at least three times per week for a minimum of 30 minutes.

Make the BEST of each and every Day!

[Queen Tokelove]

Brooks~~

Welcome to the Forums, my friend. This is a great place with great people as you already know. I love to listen to music. I listen to anything from Prince to Earth,Wind,& Fire or even rap. I use to be heavily into 80's music. I feel music is a way to express one's self. The music I can not tolerate is metal, country, and techno/house.

[Val]

Brooks,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your passion and inspiration with music. What a nice, enpowering post!
Music, for me, has always been food for the soul.  In fact, there is nothing I enjoy  more, more  exciting and rewarding than a live concert in a classic music hall.  Nothing in this world makes my soul happier and satisfied than a live orchestra playing any piece of classic music.  I would even compare it to an orgasm! 
Of course, I do enjoy all kinds of music and like to discover new talents as often as possible.

Val
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P.S. On the "Off Topic Section" I started a thread with some of the songs I like and that can be found on teh Internets.  Would you like to share some of your favourite music by starting "your selection?"  That would be lovely!

[allopathicholistic]

Hey Brooks, music?  You'll love Señor Val!   

Happy Holidays 

[DanielMark]

Hi Brooks,

Interesting thoughts you've shared. Music has been a lifelong friend to me, through my rocky start on this planet, through love, pain and all the rest.

Music does indeed have an ability to transport us to a place beyond ourselves. I won’t analyse that here, but I will be forever grateful for the experience.

Over the years, I’ve dabbled in song writing myself (tho I've never really cared for performing). Last December one of my holiday songs was picked to be included in a fund-raising event for the local food bank. For weeks before I twisted and squirmed inside, but being for such a good cause I decided to get up on stage with my guitar and let the chips fall where they may. In the end, it went okay.

When all the world seems to have gone insane, music is a grounding force for me. When friends cannot be there, nothing like a listening session under a good set of headphones to feed the soul.

Right now I’m listening to selections from Phil Collins LOVE SONGS. Some very beautiful harmonies on this release. Very soothing and calming in the morning hour.

Daniel

[AlanBama]

I totally agree.   One of the most relaxing things I can do is sit down at the piano.

If I really want to forget all my troubles, all I have to do is pop in a DVD of a musical, such as Chicago, Phantom of the Opera, Moulin Rouge or Jaser's fav, The Lion King.   

[NightmareHall]

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