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Author Topic: tested poz earlier. guess we all gotta move on  (Read 5144 times)

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Offline absurdity

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tested poz earlier. guess we all gotta move on
« on: July 05, 2017, 07:07:39 pm »
I would never label myself being naughty sexually. I am a 21 gay man who had sex with 5 ppl before. 2 being top&bottom and 3 were marginal. I was being cautious. I was protecting myself. The reason I tested was because I did the first online hook-up with a stranger – only 2 days after the event so that was not the origin.

I told all the people I touched after the test, and no one was tested positive. I have no idea when I got it and how I got it.

I guess that is how life and its absurdity works.

My CD4 is 520. Viral load 10k. Pretty good. Probably caught it within last 3 years. But I can recall no symptoms of it.

I now graduated and got a well-paid job near San Francisco. I am about to be on my employer's insurance.

The biggest worry I have right now is the financial burden of getting treatment & meds. I wonder for a private insurance like Aetna PPO or Kaiser HMO or Anthem Blue Cross PPO, how much out of pocket does one normally pay?

Now practically speaking, the virus right now bring more annoyance than real troubles, assuming I can get onto treatment smoothly.

The notion that I need to get on meds reliably and regularly will also pose many real-life inconvenience and challenges in the future. Sometimes I think this would be scary, being afraid of losing insurance and the ability to afford medication or simple lose access to them. That will be my constant concern from now.

The social stigma and mental effects are more dangerous to me. I can imagine how people will distant me and how tears will flow around my family. How people will assume I am a sex-addict or "irresponsible homo" or "living bio-weapon". Now I know these are things I made up to myself. But it will happen again and again.

I've had many suicidal thoughts at the beginning, but as things stabilize I guess we all have to move on at some point, or stop at some point.

Any one in the bay area has any recommendations for areas to live / clinics to see? San Mateo? Foster City? Mtn View? Sunnyvale?

Offline Ptrk3

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Re: tested poz earlier. guess we all gotta move on
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2017, 07:24:33 pm »
You can check to see whether your antiretroviral medication's private insurance
copay can be covered by a manufacturers' copay assistance card, effectively reducing your out of pocket to as low as $0.

Peruse the information found through these links:

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/drug-assistance-programs

https://www.verywell.com/list-of-hiv-drug-co-pay-and-assistance-programs-49310

http://www.thebody.com/content/66047/hiv-co-pay-and-patient-assistance-programs.html
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 34,126
Re: tested poz earlier. guess we all gotta move on
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2017, 08:45:05 am »
Remember that you can always come here to talk about whatever is on your mind.  Getting adjusted to HIV is not something to do in isolation.

There are people here ready to share their knowledge and to lend support. Carry a little notebook to use of questions that come up so when you see your healthcare provider you don't have to depend on your memory to ask questions that come up.

Establishing a good working partnership with your doctor is a basic tool for staying well.

Welcome.

Andy
« Last Edit: July 07, 2017, 08:47:39 am by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Tonny2

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  • Posts: 2,937
Re: tested poz earlier. guess we all gotta move on
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2017, 01:52:41 pm »


        ojo         Hello and welcome to the forums, where you can post whatever you want and you will find info and support...Reading other member's experiences will help you deal with your diagnosis.

Yes, life goes on, we have to move on, you have the right to feel angry, sad, etc. but, at the end of the day, life goes on, just taking a pill a day will control de virus so you can take back control of your life...I'm not saying to suck it up, or get over it, what I'm saying is, that you will learn to livewith the virus, the sooner you  do it, the better...I think you need to focus in the present, start treatment, get UD, live your life. If you were to lose coverage in the future, then, you will worry about it, we will be here to help you with information how to get treatment or the options you could have...Stigma=ignorance, just live your life at the fullest...you have good numbers, I'm sure you will be UD very soon...well, best wishes, please keep us posted...hugs

Offline ChrisnTX

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  • Posts: 14
Re: tested poz earlier. guess we all gotta move on
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2017, 07:55:44 pm »
Hello and welcome to the forums.  I haven't posted in a while but saw your original and felt compelled.  Lots of great advice here but check out the one about stocking up on the meds and how to work that.  I can't remember who posted it but it was some of the best advice on here and has saved my ass.

I was diagnosed two years ago today.  First year was the most expensive with initial labs and three month visits with labs each time.  I'm on a high deductible plan and the cost is within what my employer subsidizes in my HRA/HSA. I have a $150 a month copay on my meds but that's covered by the manufacturers copay assistance plan.

Currently I see my ID doc twice a year and do labs once a year.  The cost is manageable and I usually just come in under my deductible.

Like you I was considering suicide and I'm so glad I didn't follow through with it.  Yeah it was tough to get my arms around the diagnosis and I still have down days but it's not the end of the world.

I've gotten some crap about it from some. I've gotten thick skinned and it doesn't bother me. It's a chance to educate or just weed out the uninformed.  I've met some amazing people and tend to forget the idiots quickly.

My family's been ok with it.  Give them and yourself some time and tell them when you are ready.  There's no rush.

Offline InRecovery

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  • Posts: 22
Re: tested poz earlier. guess we all gotta move on
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2017, 11:02:50 pm »
Absurdity, I used to wear long sleeves in the summer to hide my needle track scars. Deep south! After doing that for several summers, I decided I didn't care anymore. People will think what they want to think. They aren't going to know that those track marks are 23 years old, but I don't care because I know that life was 23 years ago. A real addict would know that those track marks are healed and maybe it will inspire them to stop using and realize that you really can be drug-free 23 years like I and many others have. Even having HIV is easier than being addicted to heroin. When people look at you like you have a deadly disease, use that opportunity to let them see how full your life still is.

Offline LeftyBowler300

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  • Posts: 106
Re: tested poz earlier. guess we all gotta move on
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2017, 03:48:06 pm »
Hey absurdity,

Who you tell is solely up to you. Family don't have to know. Friends don't have to know. Especially if you think they'll judge you.

I've only told 3 people. Mom, Dad, and Partner of 4 years. Me and my parents are close, so I knew I could trust them. Siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, friends, etc.. None of them "need" to know, so none of them know.

I put a week's worth of HIV medicine in a pill box mixed with multivitamin, allergy pill, probiotic pill etc (hiding in plain sight) then store the pill bottle in a safe spot where no one will find it or "accidentally" come across it.
Apr 1, 2017 DX - CD4 8 , VL 820,000
OI's: Disseminated Histoplasmosis, Thrush, PCP
Apr 17, 2017 started Genvoya, Bactrim, Sporanox, Azitrhomycin
Jun 9, 2017 - CD4 42 (3%) , VL 100
Jul 17, 2017 - CD4 57 (4%) , VL 53
Sep 16, 2017 - CD4 57 (4%) , VL 130 - Ugh..
Oct 20, 2017 - CD4 63 (5%) , VL 100
Dec 1, 2017 - CD4 56 (3%) , VL <20
Mar 15, 2018 - CD4 73 (5%) , VL <20
Nov 5, 2018 - CD4 104 (7%), UD
Jan 26, 2019 diagnosed with HIV-associated DLBCL (lympoma) with 6cm mass near liver w/ abdominal fatty tissue involvement
6 rounds of RR-EPOCH
2 rounds of high dose methotrexate
(8 rounds of IV chemo total)
11 Lumbar punctures with intrathecal chemo
June 5, 2019 - Complete Response/Remission
Feb 20, 2020 - CD4 187, VL UD
Aug 2020 - CD4 247, VL UD
Stopped all prophylaxis
June 2021 - 2 years remission

Offline kentfrat1783

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  • Posts: 421
  • Instagram: kentfrat1783
Re: tested poz earlier. guess we all gotta move on
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2017, 08:24:12 pm »
Hi,

I was just diagnosed two months ago and going through a lot of the same issues.  My CD4 count was 2, had PCP and unsure of my viral load (but from what I've been reading it had to be in the hundred-thousand range).  I do a lot of research online and make sure it's a reputable site. 

Now onto a few things you mentioned:

1)  I am also on an HSA plan ($3,000 deductible and $5,000 out of pocket).  The blood work I have done every three months comes in just under $2,000 (based on first round of work) and since I was in the hospital 7 days for PCP I already had my deductible met.  Once that is met I have to pay $35 a month for the $2,700 a month medication.  Just going to stink in January when I have to pay full cost. 

2) I am currently on a total of 3 Rx's and 4 OTC meds and I just use my phone to keep me on track.  And worrying about what others think of you taking a pill?  Who cares.  Most people these days take Rx's and I know I don't ask them what they are taking nor would I expect them to ask what I'm taking.  Now when people come to the house I may put the Rx's away but that's more I don't want them to mess the bottles up (surprising what a 3 year old can do). 

Also, if you are able to initally set the schedule with a schedule you currently have that would help.  I take my first set of pills when I wake up in the morning (I do have to get up the same time each day) and then take the other Rx's when I go to bed.  Keeps it simple.

3) The thoughts you have are normal and I wouldn't be helpful if I didn't say I had them too.  It isn't anything I'd actually do but I consider it the stages of dealing with this.  Do talk with someone if you can or just write out your emotions here.

4) Other then my sister, mom, dad, partner and best friend no one else knows about my status.  If I want to tell them I will when I want too.  I also live in a small rural town so they are still a good 40 years behind other parts of the nation.  I've only had good responses and support.  Not to say that some friends/family may disown me but if they do they are the ones with the issues.  I didn't change.

5) Check the local health department for potential case management, Rx help, and just have a good resource of information.

Just keep looking at the bright side and wish you the best. 
Date - CD4 - Percent - VL
08/23/23 - 366 - 26%
06/20/23 - 349 - 21% - UD
04/15/23 - 229 - 19% - <20
11/14/22 - 486 - 24% - 73
10/12/22 - 316 - 19% - <20
06/20/22 - 292 - 21% - <20
01/25/22 - 321 - 22% - <20
09/22/21 - 278 - 19% - <20
02/02/21 - 225 - 19% - <20
06/08/20 - 257 - 20% - <20
03/17/20 - 285 - 19% - 101 (2.00)
12/17/19 - 290 - 20% - <20
09/17/19 - 218 - 16%
06/18/19 - 173 - 16% - <20
03/13/19 - 170 - 16% - <20
January 2019 - Started Triumeq
12/05/08 - 174 - 18% - <20
08/28/18 - 166 - 15% - <20
05/08/18 - 106 - 11% - <20
03/05/18 -   90 - 10% - <20
12/11/17 -   60 -   8%
09/07/17 -   42 -   6% - 54 (1.70)
May 2017 - Started Atripla
05/11/17 -    2 -    1% - 169,969 (5.23)
OI's: PCP
Dx`d May 11, 2017
Location: US

 


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