Six months today!

[AaronbytheC]

Wow, I cannot believe that it's been six months since the worst day of my life!   

I'm posing this here in the hopes that it will be of some inspiration to someone who is in need of a glimpse into their future!

So six months ago, on a Saturday, I called into the Home Access test line to pick up my annual results I've done since the mid 90's.  Instead of the normal automated "Your test result was negative" I got a "Please call back during normal hours"...  Crap I knew I was in trouble!  To top it off it was the beginning of a 3-day weekend so I had to wait even longer to get a live person who with no compassion told me my test was Positive. 

Those were some dark days, at one point I honestly held my 9mm in my hand and took stock of my life.  I was disgusted in myself for letting this happen to me!  I was so uneducated and afraid I really felt I had no options.  At my darkest point I realized that checking out early was silly, selfish and stupid...  I mean what would that help?  What's the worst that could happen, everyone disowns me, I loose everything material in my life??   If that did happen I could go somewhere where no one knew me and start over!  That thought was almost empowering...  A fresh start!

Once I realized I wanted to live I got busy educating myself.  I found this site and all of the wonderful people on it.  I posted and asked questions, many people took the time to send me personal messages of hope and help, it was a blessing!  (and I truly thank all of you who did that for me!)  Even though I live in a rather rural area, I found a local support system, a doctor, the ASO and I read, read, read about HIV.  The first few months, so many doctors visits, blood draws...  Sometimes I could not got 5 minutes without the thought "I have HIV" running threw my head!  I wont lie, the first few months were rough and sometimes challenged my resolve, but again I had people on this board to talk to, open and honest, non judgmental.  Day-by-day, week-by-week and month-by-month things slow returned to a normalcy.

Now six moths later, I've done what many recommended, took several labs to see where I was trending and then made an educated decision.  I chose to start meds as a way of taking control.  I go most of the day without thinking about HIV at all, the pillbox in my bathroom always reminds me when I go to brush my teeth though!     I feel like my old self again, I've started biking again, I'm even going to travel halfway around the world in February to a 3rd world country on vacation with no fear!  Who would have thought so much could change in just a half a year!

So for those of you just starting this journey, as many told me along the way: 
HIV is a Marathon, not a Sprint... You will get threw this and life will get better.   

[nychope1]

Great news! Glad you are doing well. Your posting will certainly inspire newbies.
Best to ya..

[40something]

Awesome news buddy !

[HippieLady]

Today is my 6 month "anniversary".

It does get better. 

[Hoover]

Aaron,

I was infected in March also!
There has been a great learning curve, but life here is also getting better.
Congratulations for taking charge of life and making everything better!!!

[WillyWump]

Aaron,

What a great example of how things really do get better! You went from staring at a 9mm to "back to your old self" and perhaps even better!

I love this:

"At my darkest point I realized that checking out early was silly, selfish and stupid...  I mean what would that help?  What's the worst that could happen, everyone disowns me, I loose everything material in my life??   If that did happen I could go somewhere where no one knew me and start over!  That thought was almost empowering...  A fresh start!"

Good Job buddy!

-Will

[pozniceguy]

so  glad you made the "right" decision... and happy you have made such good progress so quickly   ...you will definitely inspire others

Nick