POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: anonomous on July 13, 2012, 10:28:47 am
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Hi I would like to know I was diagnosed positive via a Elisa and was told to do a western blot what is that? Do you think I should retest in 2 months time as I've been hiv for a month now please anybody what should I do?
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I've split your post from that of other members. You are actually not confirmed as HIV positive until you have had a western blot test done. It is a more sensitive and specific test and anytime someone tests positive they always have a western done.
A negative result on western blot trumps a positive on a regular HIV test. So until that is done you might still not be HIV positive.
Please clarify your situation.
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Good day Andy
Well i went to a goverment clinic cos i had the tummy runs due to soup i had the night before,the runny tummy lasted a day and then my husband started with the same thing,the clinic suggested we have an hiv test done,my husband had a finger prick and came back negative then i had mine done and they confirmed it to be positive,they did 2x confirmation tests straight after and they to came out positive,then the clinic doctor said they need to take an Elisa and send it to the lab,the tests came back within for days and that to said positive,but nothing was done there after so i havent a clue what a Western Blot test is? My cd4 count on diagnosis was 533, there was no mention about my viral load,they just put me on vitamins,absorbic acid 500mg and told me to eat healthy,so im very confussed on how i was tested and if the results are even the truth.
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Anon;
I am new here too. My understanding is that the Elisa test is the first quick test, and the Western Blot tests takes a few days and confirms a diagnosis. I would recommend contacting the clinic to clarify which tests were done.
I understand how this can be confusing and not clear at times - also there is lots of information on this site that helps explain the tests, being newly diagnosed, treatment, and most of all support for each other.
I wish you well,
JM
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Hi jm so there could possibly be a mistake with Elisa?I would like to get retested but I'm being a coward to scared I had what they call the finger prick and straight after 2x confirmation and then the Elisa which came back as reactive but no other tests were done I was just given my cd4 and that was the end of it.
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A positive Elisa always has to be confirmed with a western blot, which is more specific. A negative western blot result trumps a positive Elisa. A false positive Elisa happens sometimes for all sorts of reasons. Get the western blot done.
Good luck and keep us informed.
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Good morning Andy
Thank you for the support i really appreciate all you do on here for so many of us with this disease what would we do without people like you guys,i must be honest i am very scared and think a bit of a coward to go threw all this again,cant i just live with the news of being positive and move on? I dont have the gutts in me anymore to do this agaim,if i may ask Andy what is a Western Blot test,ehay does that intail? Im going out of my mind as yesterday on the radio they had a broadcast that all clinics and hospitals have been black listed to giving fa;se hiv testing ect,so this makes me concerned but at the same time i have hope that im one of those people they diagnosed wrong,Well i think i must get my head right and then gather the gutts and go for a 2nd test but how would i cope going threw this again,
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you should get the western blot done done , i went with a friend that was tested poz to ryan white and done a oralsure test came back poz they told me to call back a week later both were poz. i didn't think it was accurate till i went to the dr and did the blood test telling me my cd 4 count and vl levels. i was diagnosed with aids. cd4 was very low but had no symptoms hiv is mysterious , don't give symptoms . you need to get the western blot done then do what my friends told me to do here in st louis. effort for aids org. some had it for over 25 yrs it's a set back but no longer a death sentence . wish you well
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Elo SSH
Thank you for the advice but my trust in doctors are limited as they put me threw hell when doing the tests i went threw alot and a month later im living hiv positive but really just being a coward not to want to go threw all this again,i must be honest im scared to findout that im really hiv positive for a 2nd time dont think i would be able to handle that,but will see maybe in time i will change my out look on clinics lol
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if you're scared of that particular dr , then you ought to look around , if you're in the u.s then look for a ryan white org in your area not all drs are the same where i'm at in st louis i had a regular dr but but had to change b/c of the infection now seeing a another that is a specialist had to start from ground zero , but over the last 7 monthes most that ryan white org has reffered are good drs ,that's is you are in the u.s if in another country you're on the internet as you were look up hiv drs in your area i'm sure you will find some
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Hey there SSH
Well for starters im in another country South Africa (Gauteng) trust me when i say i dont trust doctors wether they are from clinics or hospitals and that all because of what they have just put me threw and maybe soon i will find someone descent and that really does care.
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If you really are positive, you will find the strength to handle it. And, its the best way to a good life - facing fears and going forward.
And there's always the chance that your next test will be negative. Once again, only way to find out is go keep the courage up and get the best info.
You are in this forum often now, asking questions, it really seems like you are strong. Scared, but strong to deal with whatever comes your way.
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cant i just live with the news of being positive and move on? ... but how would i cope going threw this again,
of course, you have to get tested again! So you know for sure. You cannot just "live with the news of being positive and move on". If you're not really positive, you sure don't want to have to take meds, have multiple doctor visits, or endure the stigma of having HIV. Good lord, if you're really negative REJOICE in the news and make sure to always have safe sex in the future so you don't ever risk getting this terrible disease. Besides if you're actually negative, you'll find out anyway several doctor visits, resistance test, and blood tests later when you viral load and cd4 counts come back showing you to not be positive. If you're negative, then all that would be a huge waste of time and resources (that someone truly positive needs) - not to mention your fears and worries - all for nothing.
To be honest though, why would you "go through this again"?? You already think you are positive. A second positive test would only confirm what you think you already know. If you had cancer or diabetes or something else, you might have to get tested multiple times before the doctors successfully concluded what health problem you were dealing with. This situation is no different. You don't really need a doctor or clinic that "cares", you just need someone to professionally administer the test to you again. You need to have another preliminary HIV test done (like the finger-prick or oral swab). If that comes back positive, a blood sample will be drawn for the Western blot test to make a final accurate decision.
best wishes to you for the results of your second test. With some luck all this will have just been a terrible scare and a very valuable lesson. If you're negative, make sure you never have to go through a scare like this again. However, if you are really HIV positive, then you know we're here to help with answers and support. ;)
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leatherman i just told her that , my situation isn't valid ? dude i was told from others longer than you were alive
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anom i'm sorry i'm not familliar with south africa
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If you really are positive, you will find the strength to handle it. And, its the best way to a good life - facing fears and going forward.
And there's always the chance that your next test will be negative. Once again, only way to find out is go keep the courage up and get the best info.
You are in this forum often now, asking questions, it really seems like you are strong. Scared, but strong to deal with whatever comes your way.
mech she's scared but from a pm i can see i got an extra bottle but scared to send
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leatherman i just told her that , my situation isn't valid ? dude i was told from others longer than you were alive
I said nothing at all about your situation, so if you took my comments to someone else as derogatory against you, I suggest you re-read what I posted as you are not mentioned anywhere. I noticed while you talked in your post about what you did, I explained how the WB is confirmation for the elisa test, how acting positive when actually negative would waste resources, and how Anon needed to buck up and retest as a second positive result (confirmed this time) would leave her no worse off than she is now.
once again I have no idea what the heck you're talking about. perhaps if you learned how to write complete sentences and use punctuation, your posts might have more meaning.
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leatherman i wrote correct , if u can't read b/c your ignorance not mine
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loeatherman i bet your the type that went to pride and had my kids see your ass not my thing PERIOD , FROM NOW ON ST LOUIS EFFORT FOR AIDS WILL BE OFF OF HERE
I'm sorry to ann andy and the rest , b/c it's not true i got enough evidence
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if u can't read b/c you'r ignorance not mine
:o ;D
please re-read the comments in your own thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=44138). You'll see that many people in these forums cannot understand you, think you write inappropriately, and have given you grammar lessons to explain how you could better format your posts.
mech she's scared but from a pm i can see i got an extra bottle but scared to send
an extra bottle? bottle of what?
I hope you're not planning to send HIV meds to someone that hasn't even been confirmed positive. I hope you're not planning to send meds of any sort as you are not a doctor, Anon has no prescription, and what you are suggesting is illegal.
loeatherman i bet your the type that went to pride and had my kids see your ass not my thing PERIOD , FROM NOW ON ST LOUIS EFFORT FOR AIDS WILL BE OFF OF HERE
sadly, I haven't attended a Pride yet; but I'm hoping to this year as I'm the communications chair and organizing the booth for the SC HIV/AIDS Care Crisis Task Force.
I'm sorry that us both telling Anon the same advice (well, generally the same advice, as yours was sorta confusing) got you all riled up. Sorry you thought you were so special that only you could give advice. We've seen this sort of thing here before (the "goodbye-I'm-leaving-and-taking-my-advice-with-me" swan song), so I doubt you really leave. ;) And I really hope that you don't. AM is a good place and made better by people that can help and want to help others. Hopefully you'll stay around, learn more about HIV, and continue helping others. Although I would add that you really would get along a lot better and be able to help more if you wrote using proper grammar. ;) Bye for now.
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leatherman you'r not the type , but stay out i'm talking to adap and the postal service
so please stay out , none of your business
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Guys I'm a married woman so naturally I'm going to be scared as what we have gone threw I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy its been hell and not knowing what to do and how to do it is what's killing me,deep in my heart I know I'm negative or so I would like to believe but how can the tests be wrong? I had a finger prick test,2x confirmatory tests and an Elisa test and all came back positive so do you see why I'm affraid of doing all that again just to go threw the same agony.
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Guys I'm a married woman so naturally I'm going to be scared as what we have gone threw
being married, or a woman, really makes no difference. Everyone has a lot of anxiety when it comes to testing and when they find out they are HIV positive. It was much worse in the 80s and early 90s when getting a positive result pretty much ensured your death. My gay partner and I were very scared and went through a lot too (He died back in 94 because there weren't meds available in time). Nowadays with proper access and medical treatment, an HIV positive person should be able to continue fully living their life and probably reach a "normal" lifespan. While being HIV positive is still a terrible thing requiring treatment and perhaps dealing with side effects, there are decent medications which can make HIV not much different than having many other life-threatening and/or life-changing illnesses (like cancer, diabetes, parkinsons, MS).
so do you see why I'm affraid of doing all that again just to go threw the same agony.
no, not really. If you go through the tests again and the result is positive with the Western Blot then you're exactly where you are right now - thinking you are positive. You've already "endured the agony" of believing you are HIV positive. If the results do come back negative, then you're not infected with HIV and that should be a great relief. I can see how another test might be stressful; but the results can't be any worse than the worse case scenario of being positive - which you think the tests might have already proven. Personally, I'd be anxious to retest and maybe have the Western Blot show that I had gotten false positives and wasn't really infected. I'd sure risk that "agony" to find that out. ;)
by the way, what do you mean by "confirmatory tests"? Usually there is a finger prick test, and if that is positive a blood draw is done for the western blot. If you have not had a western blot done, you have not been confirmed as HIV positive
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Good morning Mike
Thank you for your messages thats very encouraging and somewhere im getting the gutts to go so i thank you for that,Well i had a finger prick that came back positive,then they took to confirmatory tests (they look like pregnancy tests) also with the blood of my finger and they came back positive,then straight after that they said they are going to take blood from me to do an Elisa test and then send it to the Laratong hospital lab,they came back to me in a period of 4 days and that to came out as re-active,thats when the doctor told me my cd4 count of 533,told me my immune system is still in tact and healthy,they then put me on a multi vitamin syrup and 500 mg of absorbic acid,told me to eat healthy and come back for blood tests at the end of September again,as far as i know there was no mention to a Western Blot test that was done,mine was finger prick,2x confirmatory tests and the Elisa,so thats the story and why im so unsure of doing tests again, i mean how can 4x tests be wrong?
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leatherman i known people with hiv back from late 80s please tell us what we don't know infact in actual studies from mjytself and the sppecialist i'm seeing i know more about hiv than you ,
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anom being poz isn't death sentence i know too many people with it i'm still looking for areas you can go
Office 4 Nirvana Court<
26 Thabo Mbeki Street
Polokwane
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they can comfirm the results and get what you need i got the extra bottle of atripla , but u ought to get retested
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Hi to everybody
Well i decided to get retested and was about to make the appointment when i was interupted, i would like to findout if there is any truth to this that i have just heard : I friend of mine spoke to her doctor on my behalf and he said that people with a normal cd4 count of above 500 or hiv positive as thats the normal,any person thats negative there normal cd4 count is above 1000,so because mines 533 on diagnosis i must just take it for granted that i am positive and i really am in term oil here,i havent a clue whta to do now after i have heard this, so if any person gets tested for there cd4 count and its 500 or below then you are hiv positive and anything above makes you negative,What the hell is this about?
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anon, I removed your latest post from the thread in Am I Infected forum and placed it here, in your thread in Just Tested. You are not authorised to post in other people's threads in Am I Infected.
Please keep all your further posts in this thread ONLY - until such time as you have your antibody tests confirmed with Western Blot testing.
People can get false positive antibody tests for all sorts of reasons, and the main reasons for persistent false antibody tests are pregnancy and autoimmune disorders.
You need to get a Western Blot test done to find out if you actually are hiv positive.
You CANNOT go by CD4 counts to know if you are hiv positive or hiv negative. Normal counts are anything over 500 - you may be a person who has CD4 on the low side naturally.
Quit dithering and go get a WB test done.
Ann
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anon regular cd4 counts range from 500 - 1200 as to being hiv neg
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leatherman i known people with hiv back from late 80s please tell us what we don't know infact in actual studies from mjytself and the sppecialist i'm seeing i know more about hiv than you ,
guess what short? I've been poz since 1985. I've been living with HIV for nearly 3 decades, so I know a thing or two about teh aids. ;)
If you're sending bottles of Atripla to someone that hasn't even gotten a confirmed diagnosis of HIV and who has a cd4 count over 500, not only are you guilty of illegal drug distribution but you're also guilty of practicing medicine without a license ... or degree. It seems you only think you know more about hiv and the law. ;)
Ps. what's "mjytself"? and when do you intend to learn some grammar? There's not a period to be found in those crazy run-on sentences that your wrote, and then you left your whole post dangling with a comma like you intended to write more. ::)
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anon regular cd4 counts range from 500 - 1200 as to being hiv neg
So I'm guessing when I finally got tested and my hiv test results showed a CD4 count of 880, my doctor was lying to me, despite the fact that I'd initially found out something was going on with my blood in 1981 ::)
Next time you make such a generalized statement, you need to offer some validated proof instead of contributing to the anxiety levels of people posting here.
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lt if you had hiv in 1981 u would be dead b/c meds didn't come out till 87 infact i knew a guy that his brother died from aids back then so don't tell you had it back then if that was the case his brother would of been alive today not 6 feet in the ground ,
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LOL++
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OMG ... I'm just learning from shorts I'm a walking zombie corpse .
I would call for something to be done about shorts but then all the foolish things I post in jest would get me booted out here too . Its a bitter pill .
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lt if you had hiv in 1981 u would be dead b/c meds didn't come out till 87 infact i knew a guy that his brother died from aids back then so don't tell you had it back then if that was the case his brother would of been alive today not 6 feet in the ground ,
No, but going by your logic my CD4 count could've been in the range of 500 - 1200 back then, making me hiv-negative. And I didn't say I got tested for hiv in 1981 so you need to go take a reading comprehension class instead of always throwing up regurgitated anecdotes you've gotten third hand.
Anyway, I'm done with you, as hijacking this thread wasn't my intention.
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guess what short? I've been poz since 1985. I've been living with HIV for nearly 3 decades, so I know a thing or two about teh aids. ;)
If you're sending bottles of Atripla to someone that hasn't even gotten a confirmed diagnosis of HIV and who has a cd4 count over 500, not only are you guilty of illegal drug distribution but you're also guilty of practicing medicine without a license ... or degree. It seems you only think you know more about hiv and the law. ;) i didn't say i was even going to send like alot on here tried to send but all i said i had an extra bottle but the dr said i shouldn't instead im giving it to him , i'm logging off of here for good i'm sick n tired of the damn drama
Ps. what's "mjytself"? and when do you intend to learn some grammar? There's not a period to be found in those crazy run-on sentences that your wrote, and then you left your whole post dangling with a comma like you intended to write more. ::)
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(Elevator does not make the top floor?)
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LOL++
That was my first reaction when I read sshortsrse sorry guy's reponce...a few prawn's short on the Barbie I think.
Aroha
Jan
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Hi Guys
I dont know i went for a 2nd opinion and was told that becos all my tests came back positive (1x Finger Prick , 2x Confirmation Tests and Elisa) that its no need to do anymore further testing, they took blood again to check my cd4 count to see if its dropped or still the same, this is very concerning as this clinic i dont feel right with. I think i need to clear my head and get the cash together and go to a proper GP and test again im so tired of all this i at times feel i want to just give up and then again i have my husband to think of so right now my world feels like a tornado has hit it.Any ideas would be great and so appreciated.
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Hi Guys
I dont know i went for a 2nd opinion and was told that becos all my tests came back positive (1x Finger Prick , 2x Confirmation Tests and Elisa) that its no need to do anymore further testing, they took blood again to check my cd4 count to see if its dropped or still the same, this is very concerning as this clinic i dont feel right with. I think i need to clear my head and get the cash together and go to a proper GP and test again im so tired of all this i at times feel i want to just give up and then again i have my husband to think of so right now my world feels like a tornado has hit it.Any ideas would be great and so appreciated.
Anon, why do you need any further ideas? From this post it seems that you think there is some type of conspiracy going on at this clinic regarding your results.
You have been told on three separate occasions that you need to have a Western Blot test done to confirm a positive result yet it still seems like you're doubting wise advise from experienced people on this forum and/or scared to actually have your positive results confirmed because that would mean that you have to actually start living with something that you clearly don't want to face dealing with. So, unless you want to be ignored or risk being placed on a time out or possibly being banned from this site, I would go and get the WB done and then come back and post after you get the results. You'll find that all of us here try to be helpful, but we all reach our limit when it appears that someone doesn't listen to what's being said and continues to post obsessively about things.
Go take that test and good luck!
A positive Elisa always has to be confirmed with a western blot, which is more specific. A negative western blot result trumps a positive Elisa. A false positive Elisa happens sometimes for all sorts of reasons. Get the western blot done.
Good luck and keep us informed.
You need to get a Western Blot test done to find out if you actually are hiv positive.
You CANNOT go by CD4 counts to know if you are hiv positive or hiv negative. Normal counts are anything over 500 - you may be a person who has CD4 on the low side naturally.
Quit dithering and go get a WB test done.
Ann
Usually there is a finger prick test, and if that is positive a blood draw is done for the western blot. If you have not had a western blot done, you have not been confirmed as HIV positive
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The only idea I can add is to take a deep breath and try to relax. Regardless of the results from the WB it is not the end of the world. If you do not feel comfortable with that clinic then visit another on if available.
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Having personally run thousands of ELISAs and IRMAs as well as Westerns for all kinds of proteins I can assure you the Western is more specific and less cross reactive than the ELISA. The ELISA often underestimates the amount of protein in the sample. Although the Western Blot also uses antibodies to detect the viral protein this technique allows one to verify the specificity of the antibody by it's binding to a protein of a defined length, as determined by it's separation during gel electrophoresis. Basically length and signal strength trumps just the signal strength of an ELISA.
I understand this is probably gibberish to most but rather than regurgitate what has been written already I would suggest you do a Google search of the techniques. Alternatively the journal Scientific American makes a lot of science comprehensible to a lay audience.
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I think we need another forum; "The walking dead". ;D Didn't know I was supposed to be dead, but I never was one for obeying.
Thank goodness for all the informative newbies!
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Hi Ann
I want to thank you for the harshness of your last message left in regards to being retested well im waiting for the results so will keep you informed, i just have on question for you Ann
My husband has had 4x hiv tests over a year's grace period and in every occassion he has shown to be negative, the last test he had was done now nearly 2 months ago the same day as when i found out that i was positive he's came back negative,now he is being told by family that he will go test again as there has been so many problems with tests that they want to make sure he isnt, but why put him threw all this again i mean is 4 x not enough to prove he is negative?
Please Ann help me i dont know what to do or to say i am very mad with his parents it feels like they are looking for an excuse to cause us more stress and problems but i think im more afraid that the tests show otherwise and its bad enough that one of us was already diagnosed positive how would we cope if he to is positive i mean he has a heart condition so im scared for him as well as myself,when will this nightmare ever stop?
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Hi Ann
I want to thank you for the harshness of your last message left in regards to being retested well im waiting for the results so will keep you informed, i just have on question for you Ann
My husband has had 4x hiv tests over a year's grace period and in every occassion he has shown to be negative, the last test he had was done now nearly 2 months ago the same day as when i found out that i was positive he's came back negative,now he is being told by family that he will go test again as there has been so many problems with tests that they want to make sure he isnt, but why put him threw all this again i mean is 4 x not enough to prove he is negative?
Please Ann help me i dont know what to do or to say i am very mad with his parents it feels like they are looking for an excuse to cause us more stress and problems but i think im more afraid that the tests show otherwise and its bad enough that one of us was already diagnosed positive how would we cope if he to is positive i mean he has a heart condition so im scared for him as well as myself,when will this nightmare ever stop?
anon, I removed the above post from the thread in Am I into which you randomly injected it and put it here in your thread in Just Tested. As you've been told, this is the ONLY thread you should be posting in until you sort your hiv status out.
Your husband should wait until your test results are back before he bothers to test again. I really do think you could be dealing with a false positive result.
What test results are you waiting for, a Western Blot?
In some resource poor areas of Africa, it is not uncommon for someone who has repeated positive rapid test results to be deemed hiv positive, but unfortunately, this causes false positives to slip through undetected. As in these areas viral load tests are often not performed either, the false positive is often never detected. It sucks.
However, the country you live in is more advanced than many when it comes to hiv. If your initial tests were done in a rural area, I strongly suggest you travel to the nearest big city or large clinic and get this sorted out once and for all.
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Good morning Ann
Im not sure if im in the right thread or not as im still getting use to this site and how it works,well im taking a chance by leaving my message here as i dont know where else it should go,but i just want to thank you for everything and all your advice i went to a private hospital last night and had the tests done again i should get the results they say in 24 hours so i will keep you up to date and i ask that even though you dont know me to pray for me.
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i ask that even though you dont know me to pray for me.
I will be keeping you in my thoughts, and hoping that your Western Blot comes back negative. ;)
best wishes!
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Good morning Leatherman
Thank you i am also praying for negative results as i dont think i would be able to handle everything that comes with this virus,fear is the worst thing to go threw everyday and the not knowing is the killer.
Leather if i may ask you a question? My husband has been diagnosed on 4 different occasions with fair amount of time in between tests and the last test he did was with me, the question i have is if all his tests came back negative what are his chances that his tests would change and show a positive is this possible.
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My husband has been diagnosed on 4 different occasions with fair amount of time in between tests and the last test he did was with me, the question i have is if all his tests came back negative what are his chances that his tests would change and show a positive is this possible.
If you do prove to be hiv positive, he will need to test at three months past the last time you two had unprotected intercourse. The chances of him testing negative again are very good as hiv is more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man.
If you test negative, the only way he would go on to test positive is if he is having unprotected intercourse outside your marriage with someone who is hiv positive.
Let us know how it turns out and yes, you posted in the correct place this time. Please continue using this thread. Thanks.
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Hi Ann
Thank you for the speedy reply i really do appreciate, well i dont remember when we last had unprotected sex but he was tested nearly 2 months ago with me, at the same place, same time we were in the same room together when we got the results and again his was negative, then last night he tested with me again (This is unconditional love) so i am hoping for a good result for my husband but for me i dont think there will be a chance that my tests will be negative (already had 4 all positive) and thats what im afraid of really, Ann i read your reply and i dont understand this - you say its harder for a man to get hiv from a woman so the guys that do have hiv how did they get it otherwise if its so hard to get it from woman? I really hope everything turns out in our favour this is a long,stressful and emotional roller-coaster and cant help but want this over with.
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I said it was more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man, NOT impossible. I know plenty of guys who were infected through unprotected vaginal intercourse.
You need to understand that if you do get another positive result, it MUST be confirmed with a positive Western Blot test. Make sure you ask the clinic if this test has been done.
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Good morning Mikie
Well i understand how you guys are confussed im even more, all i can tell you is when i went to the clinic they did a finger prick,there after 2 tests that they called confirmatory tests and then the doctor said to the nurse that she must take a blood sample foe an Elisa whickh they will said to the Laratong lab and that was all that was mentioned,all these tests that the performed on me came back positive,when the Elisa came back within 4 days i went back for the esult and that to was poitive i asked them if they tested correctly and if there is anyway that the tests are wrong and she said no they are conclusive,i went now to a private hospital called the FLORA CLINIC and they retested me and while in the rooms i asked about the western blot and this nurse said that the Elisa is a good enoiugh test to show the hiv antibodies and that every test i had gave the same result so there could not be a mistake,they have now sent my blood samples to Lancet Labortories and am awaiting the results.
Mikie i know i have asked this question before but its weighing heavy on my heart, is there any chance that my husband thats been tested 4 times and all came back negative, is there any reason to believe that he could be positive now? I read what Ann said and i appreciate every word even though the response is sometimes harsh i would like to know what you think being a long term survivor.I came hear as i had many concerns and doudts,i have heard so many different stories and have been told so many different things based on what i know (which is not much at this time),because this is such a nasty virus the knowledge of how it works is unclear to me,so my concern is my husband and if his negative results (x4) could possibly also be incorrect.
As you can see by my messages and the way i speak about this im very worried and scared of the unknown factors,i speak to so many ppl in regards to this but there hasnt been much clarity they have put such fear in my life that i dont know which way to turn,this forum and the ppl hear are my only hope and survival guides, so within this forum i am only trying to find answers and maybe a little friendship.
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Ps: Sorry Mikie for the spelling typing to fast didnt realise there are words missing until i read it on the post.
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Good morning to all well I received my results and I am sadly positive my husband remains negative which I am greatful for but now he wants a divorce because he fears that I will make him sick I don't know what to do and I don't know were to turn,I know that we can live normal lives or so I have heard but how do I save a marriage based on this virus,I love my husband but I can't just give my marriage up,please anybody what do I do?
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first, very sorry for your diagnosis. i've read the thread, so i'll ask the question. did you confirm your elisa positive with western blot? welcome, anon
as far as your marriage. hiv doesn't have to be the end of your relationship, but it may well end up that way.
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Good morning to all well I received my results and I am sadly positive my husband remains negative which I am greatful for but now he wants a divorce because he fears that I will make him sick I don't know what to do and I don't know were to turn,I know that we can live normal lives or so I have heard but how do I save a marriage based on this virus,I love my husband but I can't just give my marriage up,please anybody what do I do?
Sorry it turned out poz in the end. Dont fret thou, youll be ok. :)
I am not sure about the influence of your culture and traditions but if your husband is unwilling to be there for you when you are going through such hard times it would give me,in a situation like this, a reason to question his love.
When I tested poz my girlfriend stood up for me and gave me so much support(she is neg). We grew stronger together and the emotional bond we share today is great and better than ever. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are and I believe this is key to live in happiness as a couple.
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Hi Anonomous
Im sorry that you tested positive.
Please dont feel alone...people here care (and although im not really qualified to answer questions as a newbie), you will get a lot of support here from the experts and boardies.
Please dont make any fast decisions....but you must put yourself first now.
I will be thinking of you.
Hugs
Britchickx
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Good morning to all
Thank you for the posts left and i will be entering a support group as i am now alone, my husband moved out and left me with nothing so i dont have much left in my life, so got to start somewhere,and by any luck or miracle get my marriage back in the process.
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I am sorry to hear about this.
What is left of the old you by the way? Its important that you remember back and then project into the future and see that the new normal can be good. Your family still there for you? Do you have a job? Friends?
I broke up with my long term partner and a couple of months later got HIV and those months and maybe a year or two, I thought well, everything is gone. But meanwhile I still went to work, went through the motions of all the daily life, and after a good long moment things just seemed normal again.
Its hideous hideous hideous that you lost your husband because of this virus. I can't imagine your heartbreak. Hopefully there is also a bit of anger for his rather stupid and emotional reactions and actions to the virus.
I hope the support group is good and that otherwise you do NOT isolate yourself from the people who have always valued you all your life. In their eyes, you haven't changed. Does everyone now know about your HIV status? Anyway, there are plenty of people who don't have an issue with your HIV status. You have to seek their company now.
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Also, you know its still not clear to us, reading your posts, if you have received a confirmatory Western Blot test. You didn't bother to mention which test came back again, positive, in this recent post.