Terrified guy needs reassurance, please give me your thoughts on this

[abc2323]

Hi, to make this short I will just give the facts and then you could please tell me your opinions on my risk factors.

I met a stranger, talked for an hour and it led to me performing unprotected analingus on her and then having anal sex with a condom and water based lube. Addtionally I inserted fingers at times into her rectum and I addtionally rubbed her clitoris before all of this.

-The condom did not rip (as far as I know, but I did not go over it with too much detail afterwards) At times it looked like her anus was going to slide back over the end of the condom but I started to hold it away, so her anus never touched my shaft, not even the end

-No visible blood

-She said she gets tested every month and she was negative at the last test, however she has multiple partners with protection, one of who she "knows for a long time and trusts" and they do not use condoms for anal. I asked her if she would have let me do it without a condom and she said no, so she seems interested in protecting herself.

I am worried even though the condom did not break. Maybe I had small cuts on my fingers when I put them in her anus?? Could it have entered through a cuticle or where the skin peels up near the nail? Or when I touched around her vagina (mainly clitoris) and then later wiped the precum off my urethra something could have made it in to me? what about when I took the condom off some of the fluids on the outside could have fell onto my penis?

Needless to say, I feel I made a big mistake and will not be interested in having casual sex again but in the mean time I am torturing myself with worry, which after reading through the internet seems very common. Hope I am being paranoid. I got tested after only 20 days, negative. I will probably get tested at the one month, two month, then three month and then make better decisions in the future.

Please help. I promise I wont ask follow up questions.

[abc2323]

Just want to mention I am also a hypochondriac (spelling?) always worried and paranoid. I actually believe I have made myself a bit sick with worry. I kind of feel fatigued and sore throat etc...But I am thinking these are not from hiv but from the extreme worrying. Tomorrow will be one month since the incident.

[abc2323]

Oh yeah forgot, dont know if it makes a difference. I had a cold sore around my inner lip during the analingus. Sorry forgot to mention. I am done now, awaiting help. Thanks a million.

[Ann]

abc,

Nothing you report was a risk for hiv infection. You do not need further hiv testing. You are conclusively hiv negative.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

You did NOT have a risk and you do NOT need further testing.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER FINGERING, ANILINGUS OR PROTECTED INTERCOURSE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann