Went to hospital last night with panic

[ds41980]

I am female met a guy last year he told me he was negative for diseases and we became monogamous (or so I thought). We had unprotected vaginal sex and oral about 10 times before I found out he was a con man that meets women online to sucker them for money or a place to stay. He had done the same to a woman right before me. I have spoken to her and she is scared too. Last exposure was July of 2016. He is now currently married. He met his golden goose in August of 2016 as soon as I kicked him out. I called his wife and told her everything and she said she would make sure to have him tested by today. Last night I ended up in the hospital due to extreme anxiety because I am certain he has it and by extension me. I know I have to test but I just can't bring myself to do it because I feel like it's going to be positive and I can't take that kind of news on top of the other disappointments in my life. I am beyond terrified and alone in this. He has been my only exposure. If he has it then I have it. Encouragement anyone?

[Ptrk3]

You do need be tested for HIV antibodies because you did have unprotected vaginal sex with a man of unknown status, so are at potential risk for HIV infection, but you can't presume that just because he may be HIV positive (even if he, in fact, is HIV positive) that you will be HIV positive.  HIV is not an easy virus to acquire, even when engaging in higher-risk activities.

You can read about the "odds" by accessing this link:

https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/estimates/riskbehaviors.html

The "odds" indicate that you are probably not infected, but you should do so as soon as practicable for your own peace of mind and because, if it does turn out that you are HIV positive, you can be put on an appropriate antiretroviral regimen that will assure that you will continue to live a long and healthy life.

[ds41980]

Pertaining to my previous post about being scared to be tested. I recently got the test results of an oraquick test that was done in a clinic by my ex boyfriend and he sent me the results and the clinic verified the results as negative after 9 months. So he is out of the loop. The only exposure I had before him was in 1993 I had a boyfriend but shortly thereafter in 1993 I also stuck myself with a butterfly needle that I had been using to get blood from in a 4 year old child. After the stick, I sent for a hiv blood test and it came back negative. Is it possible for me to have lived the last 24 years with hiv and not known? After all this I am still terrified to get tested. Is this an irrational fear? I do not know how to overcome this because something in my head is saying "if you get tested for hiv you're going to come up positive". The only exposures I could of had are recounted for you here, other than that I have been in the hospital for surgeries and to the dentist. Somebody please help so I can try to overcome my fear and get tested and have closure. Thanks.

[Ptrk3]

The only way that one can assure him or herself that he or she is not infected by the HIV is to be tested for HIV antibodies pursuant to recommended timelines.

Whether one is at risk for having been infected because of any sexual encounter is solely dependent on the relevant and individual set of facts applicable to the person and the sexual encounter.

You write that your problem is that you have a fear of being tested that would give you the peace-of-mind closure that you need to move on with your life.  Sorry, but that's not a dilemma with which people on the internet can help.  Other than telling you to get tested, what more can you be told?

You need to seek face-to-face counseling to deal with this issue.

[ds41980]

I hate it when you guys answer like this, knowing that somebody is afraid. My question was is it possible to have hiv for 24 years and not know? Has this ever happened to anybody's knowledge? I was close to getting tested and getting this over with. Geez I guess I should just stop posting that I am afraid to get tested. I understand that I have fears that need to be dealt with but I also have a question regarding length of time somebody can hiv and not know.

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Yeah someone could have it for year and years, it would be rare for that long though.

I am going to be very, very frank with you as Patrick is a saint, but perhaps you are not hearing him, so ill be more direct.

You BF/EX's or anyone's test results mean nothing, it means absolutely nothing to you whatsoever. I have heard claims like this before and it ended in tears. The only test results that matter are your own.

You are an adult and sexually active, and you should be responsible and be testing at least yearly for STI's including but not limited to HIV.

Now you face 2 choices:

Choice 1:
1)
Test, and treat like a responsible adult if you have any infections, after this go on to live a long, healthy and hopefully productive life. - Sounds like a winner of a choice already.


Choice 2:
2
Don't test and treat, accepting that you may have an infection that could result untreated in possible long term damaged, disability and a agonizing, unpleasant death.

Go test and move on with your life, be happy , remember this to agree to have unprotected intercourse is accepting the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Jim