POZ Community Forums

Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Bphun on November 01, 2010, 08:48:08 am

Title: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: Bphun on November 01, 2010, 08:48:08 am
Hi guys

I just wanted to write down a little story for all you out there worrying about love and relationships.

Half a year ago, I met a great guy. To sound boring, we started as friends, and that's all I wanted. But, one thing led to another. After a good month of sleeping together (safe of course), I told him. He was devastated, but he stuck with me. And it's good, and the sex is good, and I'm not thinking about my status. It's a part of me - but just a small part.

So all you guys out there wondering if there is a love life after testing positive, all I can say is: YES.

Hugs to you all
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: Ann on November 01, 2010, 09:43:02 am

So all you guys out there wondering if there is a love life after testing positive, all I can say is: YES.


I'll second that emotion. Whoowhoo. (that's how the song goes, amiright?)

Glad to hear you're doing well - hugs back atcha. :)
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: Hellraiser on November 01, 2010, 10:00:07 am
I'll second that emotion. Whoowhoo. (that's how the song goes, amiright?)

Glad to hear you're doing well - hugs back atcha. :)

This song Ann?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiEAy1LoOTk
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: Ann on November 01, 2010, 10:04:00 am
This song Ann?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiEAy1LoOTk

NO, you silly youngster.

At the risk of showing my age, I was talking about this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYjpuJnnF2Q
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: Hellraiser on November 01, 2010, 10:06:31 am
NO, you silly youngster.

At the risk of showing my age, I was talking about this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYjpuJnnF2Q

:)
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: red_Dragon888 on November 03, 2010, 07:13:15 am
 :)  Cheers mate and I hope everything works out for you.


XOXOXOXOXOX

Red
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: Oceanbeach on November 05, 2010, 03:13:38 pm
I think you can and you have found someone.  Relationships can start out with hope and promise, usually end in sadness while everything you do for and with each other really makes the difference.  My medical records have said AIDS since 1996 and I can qualify for the senior citizen discounts almost everywhere and I live in a gay resort area alone.

Yesterday, I went to San Francisco, 3 hours to go 70 miles for labs, vision and dental appointments.  My guy, an HIV negative professional, closed his practice to pick me up at the HIV clinic for an afternoon of art.   No one else in my HIV life has ever picked me up at the clinic, this one is a keeper, we have been dating for almost 3 years.

The star of the exhibit was clearly Van Gogh's Starry Night .  While we were studying the painting another guy kept asking me questions of what I thought.  The conversation was interesting and Vincent Van Gogh was a troubled individual.  This fellow wanted to talk about my thoughts on a mural of Cezanne and some of his contemporaries studying one of his paintings with one of Paul Gaugain's hanging in the background.   The 2 paintings in the mural were in the exhibit but not in the places this guy said they were, he was interesting and my date was jealous.

When asked why I didn't exchange phone numbers I told him, men often hit on me and I am almost 60, he was the third this week and I am flattered but my heart is with you. 

For the past couple of years, I thought, he would meet someone HIV- and my life of dream dates would be over.  My doctor gave me a normal lifespan (years ago), said to expect to live to age 86, die of a heart attack but not from AIDS.  So, what I have realized for myself just yesterday, he is just as afraid of losing me to another and all this time I thought that I may not be good enough because of AIDS.  It was a good day for both of us when we found each other. 

Relationships are hard work and adding HIV into the formula with current or possible future care needs and costs with no real certainty of those future payments are met makes a relationship even harder. I am happy for you  ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: red_Dragon888 on November 06, 2010, 09:13:54 am
I keep remembering an old statement that went, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.”  Moreover, I have kissed, and did other things, to many frogs, but yet to find someone to have a meaningful relationship with lately.  Oh there have been some who I want, but I just don’t know how to approach them and I do not feel that I am ready yet for a long term relationship.  I am happy with friendships for now.  However, I am still hopeful and may fine that special someone but first I must be happy with the self before I can let anyone become a part of my life.

Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: red_Dragon888 on November 06, 2010, 09:27:29 am
This song Ann?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiEAy1LoOTk
I can top that or here's an oldy but goody...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAyDmJvjxbg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAyDmJvjxbg)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byOzCJauEbw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byOzCJauEbw)
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: sreamer17ydr on November 11, 2010, 09:34:42 am
Having a relationship with someone that is HIV+ is just as effective as having one with an HIV negative partner. Take me for example. I have been HIV+ since july 1st, 2009 and I have been with this HIV negative partner for over 9 months and he knows the risks and all but he gets tested every 3 months and his recent blood test yesterday came back negative still. It may be hard to disclose your status but trust and honesty is the only way any relationship will work regardless of status.
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: sharkdiver on November 11, 2010, 10:40:47 am
Having a relationship with someone that is HIV+ is just as effective as having one with an HIV negative partner. Take me for example. I have been HIV+ since july 1st, 2009 and I have been with this HIV negative partner for over 9 months and he knows the risks and all but he gets tested every 3 months and his recent blood test yesterday came back negative still. It may be hard to disclose your status but trust and honesty is the only way any relationship will work regardless of status.

 so what happened to your husband?  and are you using condoms with this HIV neg lover ?
I hope you aren't being as reckless as you were with your Poz husband.   
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: sreamer17ydr on November 12, 2010, 11:48:48 am
I never had a husband never been married... i been with my partner boyfriend for 9 months now, i was with someone poz for 6 months in the past when i got infected but he was abusive and punched me all the time, so i was single for a bit but i met this awesome guy who is 48 and hiv neg and after 9 months still going strong and better
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: sharkdiver on November 12, 2010, 12:10:51 pm
I never had a husband never been married... i been with my partner boyfriend for 9 months now, i was with someone poz for 6 months in the past when i got infected but he was abusive and punched me all the time, so i was single for a bit but i met this awesome guy who is 48 and hiv neg and after 9 months still going strong and better
  that's different from what you posted earlier
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: Hellraiser on November 12, 2010, 12:20:53 pm
I never had a husband never been married... i been with my partner boyfriend for 9 months now, i was with someone poz for 6 months in the past when i got infected but he was abusive and punched me all the time, so i was single for a bit but i met this awesome guy who is 48 and hiv neg and after 9 months still going strong and better

Contradicts

"Okay, I am a 21 yo, who is HIV negitive, and my husband (yes we got married in cali) is a 37 year old, HIV+ guy, that has had it 16 years."
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: leatherman on November 12, 2010, 12:52:49 pm
I never had a husband never been married...
are you the only one using this account? you have put forth very different stories about your partner over the last 3 years (and all very close to one year apart from each story, ie Oct 08 to Aug 09 to Nov 10)

On October 22, 2008, you had a husband who was poz for 16 yrs, who developed AIDS in 2006
Okay, I am a 21 yo, who is HIV negitive, and my husband (yes we got married in cali) is a 37 year old, HIV+ guy, that has had it 16 years. He was dignosed as AIDS two years ago when his cd4 count went to 199, but now his cd4 count is 480, and Undet. viral load.  He has a drug resistant strain because none of the Nukes or Non nukes work, and he on the new meds... "Prezista, Norvir, Selezentry, and Isentress."

almost a year later August 20, 2009, you had a husband who was only poz for 6 yrs (with a nearly unbelievable cd4 count by the way)
i been wiht my partnet for a long time and actually got married and he is poz too since 2004. his cd4 count is 1900, and viral load undet. on reyataz, norvir, and truvada.

now just a little over a year later on November 12, 2010, you say you have been with someone 9 months and someone else for the previous 6 months - except 15 months ago you had said you were with your husband.
I never had a husband never been married... i been with my partner boyfriend for 9 months now, i was with someone poz for 6 months in the past when i got infected but he was abusive and punched me all the time, so i was single for a bit but i met this awesome guy who is 48 and hiv neg and after 9 months still going strong and better
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: skeebo1969 on November 12, 2010, 04:17:02 pm

(http://chud.com/nextraimages/0904s01.jpg)

THE RETURN OF SYBIL

not yet rated, coming to a theater near you!
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: Queen Tokelove on November 14, 2010, 08:55:20 pm
I try to remain optimistic when it comes to relationships but goddammnit I am tired of meeting or kissing frogs. I would like a Prince or something pretty close. I do have standard tho I do not make my expectations high because everytime I do, I end up being disappointed.
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: Lucky2behere on November 14, 2010, 11:31:45 pm
Skeebo, That Sybil photo is classic. :o
Nice, encouraging hopeful thread.  
Oh, and Ann I love that Smokey Robinson song too but never saw the video. lol
Title: Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
Post by: smiteler on November 16, 2010, 03:03:29 pm
relationships are over rated
give me a killer job instead  :-\