POZ 18 years + this week-why so glum?

[cgsorlando]

I really have nothing to complain about. I have a great partner, Great health, good job, but still why do I fell so down when I should be celebrating?

[mecch]

Hi there,
You don't say much in this post, and you haven't posted very often, so its hard to figure out your context, in order for me to respond.  You seem to have had problems sleeping so perhaps that catches up on you sometimes?

Sounds like you have lots to be thankful for, and enjoy, but its natural to feel down, sometimes. Should be celebrating what? The holidays? Well some people get the holiday blues, and its hard to pin down why, sometimes.

Make a list of more things that are fine and lovely in your life, in the world, maybe you'll feel better. Go out dancing or something with your honey and look on the bright side.

This may sound flippant but it helped me when i was seroconverting this summer - Show Tunes, and happy music!

Happy holidays.

[sharkdiver]

Hey cgsorlando

I know that as a longtermer, that the holidays are sometimes a little rough for me as well.  A lot of memories, a lot of ghosts from the past come up. Maybe it's compounded with the addition of the anniversary of your diagnosis.
Do you feel comfortable talking with your partner about it?

I really don't think someone who was more recently diagnosed would understand.

take care,
Sharkie

[aztecan]

Hey cgsorlando,

I understand completely what you are saying. I also think Sharkie is right about this time of year bringing up too many ghosts to be comfortable or joyous.

I am somewhat in the same boat. I am relatively healthy, but things just seem to get me down. Then I worry about silly things and feel guilty when others are suffering, or have suffered, so much more than I.

Aside from talking to your partner, about the only thing I can recommend is to keep busy and active. That seems to help me whittle the time down till this damned season is past.

HUGS,

Mark

[Dachshund]

Hi there,
You don't say much in this post, and you haven't posted very often, so its hard to figure out your context, in order for me to respond.  You seem to have had problems sleeping so perhaps that catches up on you sometimes?

Sounds like you have lots to be thankful for, and enjoy, but its natural to feel down, sometimes. Should be celebrating what? The holidays? Well some people get the holiday blues, and its hard to pin down why, sometimes.

Make a list of more things that are fine and lovely in your life, in the world, maybe you'll feel better. Go out dancing or something with your honey and look on the bright side.

This may sound flippant but it helped me when i was seroconverting this summer - Show Tunes, and happy music!

Happy holidays.

This may sound flip too, but there's a reason this forum is called Long-Term Survivors. Seroconverting this summer ain't it.

As a long-term survivor I can relate. No matter what the season I think the blues hover around the long-term HIV infected without rhyme or reason. I also agree with Sharkie that the ghosts of the hardest HIV years like to moan and jingle their chains in our ears from time to time.

Maybe they're there as a reminder that we should never forget as we move forward.

[AndyArrow]

I think the first half of your title answers the second half.

It's great that you are still here after 18yrs poz ... but it's a reminder that your life changed 18yrs ago.  So take a moment and feel glum.  Then remember ... you have a great partner, great health & a good job!  Life maybe different from what you thought it would look like 18yrs ago, but it sounds like it's a pretty good life.

Happy Thoughts & a great big HUG!
AA <-- who believes you can never get too many hugs

[AlanBama]

Hi cgs

I think it's normal to feel what you are going through.   We have many ghosts and painful memories that like to 'show themselves' to us (like they did to Scrooge in A Christmas Carol).   December is a painful month for many, and not necessarily people with HIV/AIDS. 

I wish you peace this holiday season

hugs,

Alan

[mecch]

This may sound flip too, but there's a reason this forum is called Long-Term Survivors. Seroconverting this summer ain't it.

To all posters in this thread, my apologies. I hadn't realised I was in Long term survivors forum, as I sometimes navigate differently than clicking on the menus.

Happy holidays to all...

[BT65]

Hey cgsorlando,

In reading the title and yours and others' posts, I remembered the party I was at that was the last Christmas for one of my dearest friends who passed from this damn disease.  He came to the party, huge oxygen tank and all (his mum, who was staying with him, drove).  He couldn't stay long because of extreme fatigue and tunnel vision.  I miss him and some other friends who were there so much.  Some of the more recent people diagnosed don't understand all the grief we, as long term survivors, do. 

Thanks for helping me get some hurts out.  I wish you nothing but peace and happiness this season.
   Luv,
Betty

[MOONLIGHT1114]

Be thankful that you are a survivor.  Tonight marks 15 years for me since diagnosis, and I agree, some of the memories are rather haunting, not being sure of the future and such.  Its so hard to take it one day at a time, but it really is the best thing one can do for one's self, live in the moment and be grateful.

You've come a long way, a lot of us have.  Be proud of yourself! 

[cgsorlando]

Thanks to you all. Last night was just a bad night. And today everything is better. Your kind words remind my that I'm not in this alone, I have all you guys and gals. Thanks again!! Peace.

[edfu]

the ghosts of the hardest HIV years like to moan and jingle their chains in our ears from time to time

I hear the moan but not the jingle.