POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Ash on September 08, 2008, 10:00:25 pm
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HI, this is my first post, but I've been reading the boards for awhile now. I've learned alot from this site, and although from what I gather my scenario is no risk, I'll feel better if I just tell you my story anyway. We all believe that our story is the "exception" for some reason, so I'm going to write mine just for peace of mind. Now I am a virgin, and have never had any type of sex, from vaginal to oral to anal. But my concerns stems from what happened back in July. My friend and his girlfriend were over at my place. For some reason we dared each other to all get naked. When we did, my friend and his girlfriend started having unprotected sex on the couch. Now it was dark and I was on the other couch alone. So I started to stroke myself a bit. When they finished, my friend told his girlfriend to go ahead and give me a lap dance. She agreed, and I threw a shirt over my penis and crotch area. She got on top of me (fully nude) and started grinding me for a few minutes. She changed position a couple of times, and later gave me a second dance. I noticed that my shirt slid down a bit and I could see the tip of my penis. It was dark, and I know lap dances or frottage are no risk, and I didn't feel any wetness on my penis that I remember. And I'm mostly sure that the shirt covered me most of the time, but may have moved toward my legs/knees due to the grinding. But Is there a chance her vaginal fluids could have flowed into the tip of my penis when it poked out from under the shirt? And does it also matter that she had sex right before getting on me, like is the more infectious cervical fluid closer the vaginal opening due to having sex? Or as gross as it seems, could my friend's semen have oozed out into my penis tip opening? I don't know their status, but I do know there was no penetration at all when she was grinding on me. The next day I got tested for std's and hiv. Three weeks later it all came back negative, but that was before I knew of the 13 week window, which ends Oct 20 so i got a ways to wait. Do I have anything to be worried about? Thank you!
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You did not have a risk in the situation that you have provided.
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Ash,
The negative hiv result you have isn't going to change. You don't need to test again in October. Hiv is not transmitted during a lapdance, no matter what oozes out of the woman's vagina. Hiv is transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.
Along with reading the Transmission Lesson linked to in our Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0), here's what else you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.
Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED FURTHER HIV TESTING AT THIS TIME, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
WHEN YOU BECOME SEXUALLY ACTIVE is the time for you to start having routine sexual health check-ups. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
You have not had a risk for hiv infection and you ARE hiv negative. Use condoms when you have anal or vaginal intercourse and you'll stay that way. It really is that simple.
Ann