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Author Topic: Indiansuicide's thread  (Read 5258 times)

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Offline Indiansuicide

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Indiansuicide's thread
« on: August 24, 2006, 05:10:21 pm »
Am a Bi Indian guy in London.. Arrived here 4 weeks back.. Am married and was planning a kid with my wife back in India.. Never ever had unsafe sex in my life.. Not even with my boyfriend of 7 years.. Am going tomorrow to get my HIV test done and this time am sure i am POZ. And am almost sure that am gonna kill myself after i get the results.. I am crying right now writing this blog.. I love my wife and my boyfriend alot and i never thought i am gonna leave them so soon.. I guess i will take some strong sleeping pills.. That will be the most easy way out.. I wanted a kid of my own and in turn i ended up messing not only my life but their life as well.. Why did GOD this to me? Why me??
« Last Edit: August 24, 2006, 07:16:42 pm by Ann »
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Offline Indian

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Re: Ann's Mental Management Post
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2006, 05:31:23 pm »
You never had unsafe sex with anyone and your worried about your test result...and anxiety is driving you nuts?????
Bhai If you have had safe sex..then there's nothing for you to worrie about really.
Please stay calm..everything will be fine.
Experts on this forum will definately help you in fighting This anxiety driven outburst of emotions
You will be fine buddy!
Regards
indian
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Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Re: Ann's Mental Management Post
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2006, 05:37:07 pm »
I won't even address the notion fo your suicide, except to state that if you do so, you will be showing such disrespect and love for your family that perhaps they'd be better off. Seriously, that crap makes me really angry to hear. It's self indulgent and self absorbed.

Now, did you have a risk? Unprotected sex? Because if you did not, there is no need to be this freaked out... or freaked out at all, actually. You state in your post  you never had unprotected sex. So why suddenly freaking out? What changed?

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Re: Ann's Mental Management Post
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2006, 06:01:44 pm »
Indian,

Unless you've been having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with someone who is hiv positive, you are very unlikely to test positive.

If you have been assuming that you're hiv positive based on symptoms, then you need to know that symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean absolutely nothing when it comes to hiv infection. Only the appropriate test at the appropriate time will reliably inform you of your hiv status.

Please stop posting in the Blog forum. Your posts belong here in the Am I Infected forum ONLY.

Ann
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Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Indiansuicide

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  • Posts: 2
Re: Ann's Mental Management Post
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2006, 06:28:54 pm »
I have all the symptoms.. light fever, swollen glands, muscle aches, diarrhea, fatigue and rash.. And i feel as if i am a walking dead body.. Am sure i got it doing oral with my gums bleeding.. Neways Ann.. I guess i will be able to post in your Blog pretty soon.. Am really sorry to say all this.. But when you have a lovely wife and it goes out of your hands.. it hurts.. it hurths to the core.. I wish i could see her face just once.. I just cant sleep in this house.. Am so lonely.. my stomach is growling all the time.. making me realise.. when am about to sleep.. tht i am HIV +ive.. I dont have a right to feel happy.. to even have a sound sleep..
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Offline RapidRod

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Re: Ann's Mental Management Post
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2006, 06:38:59 pm »
Seek out the help of a mental health professional. You are beyond what we can provide. If I would have taken your stance 21 years ago I would have been 6 feet under and deprived myself of a very good life even with an HIV/AIDS diagnoses.
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Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Indiansuicide's thread
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2006, 07:19:48 pm »
Indian,

I changed the title of your thread - and that's all I changed about your first post.

Symptoms mean nothing. Go get tested and put your mind at rest. It's highly unlikely that you are positive.

And what's this about not having a right to be happy if you're positive? I'm positive and I've got every right to be happy. The right to happiness is not dependant on one's hiv status.

Symptoms don't mean a thing - only testing will tell you your hiv status.

Ann
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Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: Indiansuicide's thread
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2006, 08:47:26 pm »
The biggest thing you have to deal with right now is your rampant self pity. Given what you have reported I don't see any evidence that you are likely to test positive. So more than likely you will be condemned to live and what are you going to do about that.

For someone who claims to love his wife and bf so much you certainly aren't displaying any concern about them. Instead it's all this "why me" and the idea of subjecting them to your suicide shows how little you care about them to even consider that.

I guess if you came here for sympathy I am the wrong guy for you to talk to. If you really do have suicidal thoughts you should walk yourself to the nearest emergency clinic and talk to them about it.

I find myself wondering if you wlll believe your result when you test negative or will you just insist it's wrong and continue all of this drama?

Good luck with your test. And how about pulling up your socks and starting to behave like a grownup?

Awaiting your result,
And if you really have any serious trough gavahvtcor lgenyyou
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Andy Velez
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