Anxiety about HIV - my recent experience

[gnnir]

Hi folks,

I posted before on another forum and just added an update, so thought I would share my experience here too.

I wanted to share this experience as an example / lesson of what stress and anxiety can do to a person.

To recap, I contracted gonorrhea, apparently from oral sex, with a random 'partner' at a gay-club on 2/3 June 2013.

I posted my very real concerns here on another thread

On 14 June, gonorrhea was formally diagnosed at a British NHS's hospital's GUM clinic.  A full screening for other STDs, including HIV, was done that day (the HIV test is the 4th Generation "Duo" Test).  Apart from the gonorrhea, all tests were negative.

On 27 June, I took-ill, burning-up and quickly followed by three days of the most unusual diarrhoea I have ever experienced.

Since then, appetite increasingly non-existent, weight-loss (10% of body-weight in under a month), constant feeling of burning-up (regardless of room or outside temperature), spontaneous and excessive sweating and night-sweats (but no fever), severe and chronic insomnia, generalised anxiety, panic attacks and increasing depression.

Having had these sorts of symptoms for 17 days, I went to the same hospital again on 15 July (6 weeks after the "exposure" and 17 days after the symptoms suddenly began), and had a lab HIV Duo test.  It was negative, and I was flabbergasted.

For a day, I felt better, and appetite returned.  But, then, the anxiety returned - along with the symptoms, even worse this time, coupled with morbid thoughts ... and little or no food or sleep since about 24 June.

My own doctor tried to reassure me that all of this is / was acute anxiety, also doing what physical examinations he could.  Of course, nothing would / could reassure me (because I HAD got the gonorrhea, that convinced me of concurrent HIV risk tranmission, and then being so ill).

Last Wednesday, 24 July, 51 days after the "exposure" / 26 days after the start of symptoms, my doctor took bloods for another HIV test (the same type), and informed me two days ago that it was negative and conclusive and there will be no more tests, as the chances of both 4th generation tests being wrong (plus the early one) after 42 and 51 days, in the middle of such symptoms, are millions to one.  He also prescribed some anti-anxiety medication and sleeping pills.

He says that this has created acute, prolonged, generalised anxiety and that I feel so ill, etc, because that is what anxiety can do to people.

Interestingly, yesterday, after taking diazepam, I was able to eat a proper dinner for the first time in weeks.

And, yet, there is a still a lurking doubt ....

Beware anxiety, folks, and (if you can) try not to let it take hold. 

[Ann]

gnnir,

You are only permitted ONE account here. If you want to post further, you're going to have to go back to your original account, and if you've used up your three free posts, you'll simply have to take out a subscription. That's the way it works here.

I'm banning this account - but you'll still be able to access your original account.

If you create a new account again, you WILL be permanently banned.

Ann