POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: zach on January 11, 2011, 10:49:26 am
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just some personal sharing, cause it weighs heavily on me, a few of you know about this, now the rest of you can read it if you choose
On April 25, 2010 my exwife and youngest son were driving home from Sunday brunch with family. Another driver struck them. Two days later, life support was turned off to my sons body, and paperwork signed to donate his organs.
His organs saved three other children, one a 3yr old girl who had never left the hospital since birth, she is home now, and the letter her mother sent us is heartbreaking. His heart went to a little boy in Pennsylvania, that boy has a strong heart now.
The driver that struck them was speeding on a curvy mountain road, ran a stop sign, because he was reaching for his cell phone. He T-boned the passenger side of the car my son was in. He is being charged with 2nd degree vehicular homocide. A misdemeanor, that does not require jail time. Although he admitted fault to the media, including the cell phone part, he still entered a plea of not guilty in court. I realize that at its most basic, this was an accident, God's will, he didn't intend to kill. My son is still dead.
With the recent thread about gun laws I felt the need to share this.
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I'm deeply sorrowed that you had to lose a child this past year and moved by the way you dealt with it.
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I am sorry for the recent loss of your son. It is something you never ever, ever get over..... it changes who and what you were.
nuff said..... :'(
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I'm so sorry for your loss Zach . Its good to hear you decided to avoid more heartache and consentrate on the gift of life this tragedy brought for other family's .
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What a horrible loss. I'm glad three other children were saved but I'm sure that doesn't change losing a child.
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I'm very sorry for your tragic loss. I think it's wonderful that three other children were helped, but feel bad that the ultimate cost to you was so very high. I hope it is of some comfort to you and your ex.
Hugs,
Ann
xxx
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Although some good came from your son, that would in no way make up for your losing him. I'm sure the HIV diagnosis pales in comparison to that. You're correct about the gun thing; it would benefit nobody and only bring more misery to the world. Hugs to you.
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I'm so sorry for your loss Zach, no parent should have to bury their child, but he will live on in the 3 young ones he gave life to.
In sadness.
Jan
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I cannot fathom the loss you have suffered and the difficulties you have faced, but never lose sight that he lives on in the lives of those 3 children.
I wish you peace,
Woods
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Zach, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I think it's so cool that you and your ex had your son's organs donated. But, it had a horrible cost. I'm sure it's hard to hold it together. :'(
Betty
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thank you for sharing zach. i too am sorry for your loss. may better times find their way into your life as it has the three children your son's gifts have bestowed.
sincerely,
d
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Zach,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing my own child. While it won't remove the pain, there must be some comfort in knowing that 3 children now have a second chance at life.
Hugs,
Mike
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Zach
I can't imagine the pain you have gone through. Just reading your post brought tears to my eyes.
I am so sorry for your loss.
RAB
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Tha is terrible Zach, I am so sorry for you loss.
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I'm so sorry to hear about this awful tragedy. This is a good reminder that no call is that important and we can easily pull over somewhere to return the call. This kind of thing is happening all the time these days. Talking on the phone, even hands-free, does distract us. And, this happens even when not driving. There was recently a local story here where someone broke down and was calling for help on their phone while crossing the road. They didn't notice a car coming and the person was hit and killed. This almost happened to me. I came upon a bad wreck at night. I got out of my car to assist. I was on the phone with 911 while I was crossing the road to assist. I was so caught up in that 911 call that I was almost hit by a car coming.
Again, my deepest sympathies.
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just an update on this story
the man plead guilty at the start of trial as part of a deal, one year probation and a $1000 fine
and, the only real punishment in my view, 3 hours community service, served as one hour public service speechs at the local high schools about distracted driving
for perspective, on a recent dui drugs charge i got one year probation, $1000 fine, and 60 hours community service... habitat for humanity (love doing that anyway ;D)
somehow, i don't think the scales of justice balance out when you compare the two
later this month will mark one year since the accident
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Zach, you're right. There is no balance of justice in the comparison of the two sentences. You had a more severe sentence because dui carries the chance that you may cause an accident, but this guy actually did cause an accident - a fatal one at that - and he got off with less community service. IMO, he should have done at least a year jail time. At least.
Are there laws in the States (probably state by state) concerning using mobile phones while driving? I wonder because when I watch telly programs from the States, people are constantly driving with one hand while chatting on the phone. Melinda in the Ghost Whisperer was chronic in this regard. Over here in the UK and on the Rock, it's against the law. If you want to use your mobile in the car, you have to have a hands-free set up (or park up somewhere). If you cause an accident while using a mobile (non-hands-free) you get the book thrown at you.
Anyway Zach, if you need to vent more with the upcoming anniversary of your son's death, please know we're all here for you. As a parent myself, I can imagine how very difficult this time is for you. Please know we love you and we're here for you.
Take care of yourself through this difficult time.
((((((Zach))))))
Ann
xxx
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Zach,
That horrible event will always weigh heavily with you. I would expect that the driver of the car that took your son's life will also never forget that horrific day (lets only hope). Life is not fair and neither is justice at times.
My thoughts are with you as the anniversary of your son's passing approaches.
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ann, the laws about cell phones and driving vary widely by state
had this happened in the state next door, as has been pointed out by media, he would have faced a mandatory jail term
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Anyway Zach, if you need to vent more with the upcoming anniversary of your son's death, please know we're all here for you. I can imagine how very difficult this time is for you. Please know we love you and we're here for you.
Take care of yourself through this difficult time.
((((((Zach))))))
^This.
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Hi Zach . I think Ann said it best , if you need us we will be here .
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FTW >:( :( >:(
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Zach, I'm thinking about you, and wishing you some peace. {{ZACH}}
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Thinking of you too, Zach... Hugs to you and your family.
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((((((Zach))))))
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Hi Zach ... Im thinking of you today and am glad you are here with us .