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Author Topic: What I have just done...  (Read 51304 times)

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Offline Oscar

  • Member
  • Posts: 244
  • 20 Years POZ
What I have just done...
« on: July 27, 2006, 06:15:48 pm »
 This isn't the first time I've tried to do this. Slashing wirst, cuttoing deep into my skin with a sharp serated hunting kife. Hell, I've even put the my postil in my mouth before only for it to be taken away from me.

Now it's a chance to let the meds do thermagic. What has been done is done there is no going back now. I feel the medications starting to work.



I just chewed 24 2MG lorazepam, 30 25mg Amitriptyline & 10 25mg seroquel. All chased down with a pint of good old standby Absolute vodka. I hope I get the result I'm looking for.

If I die this post serves as my last statement to the world. I can't go on living the way I feel about myself, the damage that HIV has done to my body, mind & spirit. I'm not worthy to be around such loving, compassionate people as the lot of you are. I feel as if I am the boil on the butt of humanity that keeps comming back. I try to work on myself, therapy that didn't work, antipressants didn't work, a great HIV doc but he can only help me so much. I feel like everything I worked for healtwise the last 3 years has all been for nothing. The struggle of trying to work. I just can't seem to get along well with others so I am back to working at home with the law firm. I hate that job. I called 127 accounts today and didn't even manage to get one person to pay on their bill. My supervisor tells me I'm too nice, that I should be more forceful in getting the debtors to pay. I see that another way. Wouldn't it be better to kill them with kindness and undertatanding while at the same time encouraging them to pay their bill so it won't be reported to the credit reporting agencies? I have a soft voice that isn't suited to the collections field. I have tried different collecting techniques that I have learned but none of them to work for me.

My family will be hurt bu what I have just done, but I can't be concerned about that anymore. Danny is alone is this journey. I don't care what happens to my "stuff" they can throw it away. While they are at :

1. I do not want a funeral or visitation, flowers or a grave side service of any kind. My casket will be closed. If someone wants to send flowers or food they can make a donation to RIFA (food bank for indigent peple in my area }or a donation to and HIV/AIDS service organization on my behalf.


All I want to do is go to sleep and find peace with myself, I can't find ithatwhere else.


This post or decsion has nothing to do with my lates disgreement with Steve.  Anction like this has been  iin my mind for the last 25 years. No more HAART requardless of what the out come
Dan Jones
2000 years poz May 21, 1986 Died July 27,2006

When I am in my box I would like to wear my AMG 2006 Montreal t shirt & my favorite pair of jeans.

This is real, I took the medications 15 minutes ago... Now I will be able to be free or if not free then maybe brain dead in coma would work fine for me too. I don't care either one of those 2 options are better than what I feel now

Dan

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,931
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2006, 06:21:50 pm »


IF ANYONE KNOWS HIS # SEND THE POLICE OVER THERE NOW!!

I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,931
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2006, 06:23:02 pm »


  I am looking for my phone bill Dan from September when I find your # I am calling the police and sending them right over..
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2006, 06:26:50 pm »
Dan lives in Jackson TN area code 731. Police number is 731-425-8400

Offline Oscar

  • Member
  • Posts: 244
  • 20 Years POZ
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2006, 06:29:08 pm »
I don't remenber calling you & if I did it was on my cell phone & I recently changed that number * mailing address. It is not your resposibity to take such actions. I don't know you from flip. Please do ,e a favor and just go live you life and let me end mine the way I see fit. It's my life. I have that right.

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,931
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2006, 06:39:59 pm »

  I have all my shit packed in a pod outside my home...it's going to take me an hour to get past all the furniture to my office shit....  Someone in the mean time please if you have his # that is all you need to give to the police at the said number..
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Oscar

  • Member
  • Posts: 244
  • 20 Years POZ
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2006, 06:40:50 pm »
that's find you called the cops.I have a car that can get me out here before they show up.

Im leaving now.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2006, 06:41:51 pm »
Dan get off your self centered ass and call an ambulance. If you don't care about yourself think of all the others you will be hurting. Now get off the fucking internet and get some help NOW..

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,931
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2006, 06:41:55 pm »
Dan I don't know you from flip either and I would hope if it was me you would do the same!  I know I have your number... your mother answered the phone..
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2006, 06:44:16 pm »
Dan,

What about Emmie....whos gonna give her a good home and spoil her? Shes counting on you.

Come on Dan, call 911, tell them what you have taken.
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2006, 06:45:06 pm »
on the phone with him now

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2006, 06:46:56 pm »
Thx John..

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2006, 06:49:03 pm »
Dan for your own good I called the Jackson police.
Hal

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2006, 06:50:38 pm »
Thanks John, the Jackson Police Dept. is trying to contact him.

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #14 on: July 27, 2006, 06:52:18 pm »
we have cops after him and he just hung up on me.  He is driving around in a black honda civic.  His phone number is
« Last Edit: July 27, 2006, 07:02:54 pm by kcmetroman »

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #15 on: July 27, 2006, 06:53:50 pm »
we traced his address down, he told us he was on 6th street in his car.  The cops are trying to intersect with him

Offline tnboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 108
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #16 on: July 27, 2006, 06:56:14 pm »
  I called him as well and tried to reason with him but he finally hung up on me as well. I am about 1 hour away from him but I have no trasportation and have no ideal where he lives.

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #17 on: July 27, 2006, 06:56:40 pm »
Should I call his parents?

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,931
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #18 on: July 27, 2006, 06:57:40 pm »

  I just called....  they have an officer dispatched.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #19 on: July 27, 2006, 06:58:15 pm »
anybody who does talk to him try and confirm his vehicle and location.  He may be lying

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #20 on: July 27, 2006, 06:58:25 pm »
Yes. They may know where he would go if the police don't intersect him on 6th street.
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Peter Staley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,338
  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #21 on: July 27, 2006, 06:58:37 pm »
  I called him as well and tried to reason with him but he finally hung up on me as well. I am about 1 hour away from him but I have no trasportation and have no ideal where he lives.

tnboy  -- call the police, and give them his phone number -- they'll be able to find his address.

Peter

Offline Trish

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #22 on: July 27, 2006, 06:59:23 pm »
Hal if you have his parents' number, YES, CALL THEM NOW!!!
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #23 on: July 27, 2006, 06:59:49 pm »
I've given the police his phone number.
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #24 on: July 27, 2006, 06:59:55 pm »
Peter, they have his address

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #25 on: July 27, 2006, 07:00:33 pm »
I talked to his father who said the police called, he said Dan just left the house...his father seemed oddly not concerned.

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #26 on: July 27, 2006, 07:00:45 pm »
they had his number, and did the trace on that already

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #27 on: July 27, 2006, 07:01:53 pm »
Anybody know him well enough to confirm that he does drive a Black Honda Civic?
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #28 on: July 27, 2006, 07:02:30 pm »
Anyone heard from the cops? Have them put a APB out on the black Honda Civic!

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #29 on: July 27, 2006, 07:04:08 pm »
Dan drives a silver car...he may be in his parents. I will call the police again in a minute for an update.

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #30 on: July 27, 2006, 07:06:03 pm »
someone do me a favor and look this up. He may be lying about the car....

He posted a thread month or so ago about a new car he bought.  I don't remember it being a civic, or black

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #31 on: July 27, 2006, 07:10:03 pm »
How long can he drive with everything hes taken?
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #32 on: July 27, 2006, 07:10:28 pm »
Dan drives a new silver Honda Fit...I just talked to the police and asked them to call Dan's parents again. They are not actively looking for him. >:(

Offline tnboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 108
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #33 on: July 27, 2006, 07:14:08 pm »
 I called the emergency room in Jackson and they told me to call the sherriffs department which I have done. He said he thought the police department had received a call about this. He took my number and said he would see what he could find out. Anymore suggestions??

Offline newt

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,900
  • the one and original newt
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #34 on: July 27, 2006, 07:14:53 pm »
He can drive for about another 15 mins if he took the stuff at the time of his first post

Then it will be another 3 hours before the drugs really kick in
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline tnboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 108
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #35 on: July 27, 2006, 07:15:54 pm »
He just called me and seems to be very confused. I couild not get him to tell me any information then he said his father was on the phone and hung up.

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,389
  • Member 2005
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #36 on: July 27, 2006, 07:17:21 pm »
TNBOY . . if you did not tell the police or ER that Dan took these pills at approx 4pm his time as well as the scrips, CALL THEM BACK...

I just chewed 24 2MG lorazepam, 30 25mg Amitriptyline & 10 25mg seroquel. All chased down with a pint of good old standby Absolute vodka

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #37 on: July 27, 2006, 07:17:33 pm »
I checked the fatal doses of the three drugs. The Seroquel dose he took his nothing; lorazepam fatal dose in adults has to be as high as 1.85 gms, and he's taken a fraction of that; the real worry is the amitriptyline, toxixity/fatality at 750. Plus the vodka. They need to find him within the next 2 to 4 hours.
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,931
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #38 on: July 27, 2006, 07:18:40 pm »


  Ugggggggggggggggg... please something...  oh man does this suck...  its my fault I should have never told him I would cll the police...  he would have never left...  I fucked it up
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #39 on: July 27, 2006, 07:19:46 pm »
Dan's parents, police, and sheriff have all been notified...please do not call them again. They are getting confused by the number of calls coming in. I have given them all his phone numbers, address and make and model of car...they have run his tags and are in contact with his parents. Remain calm and I will let everyone know as soon as I hear.

Thanks,
Hal

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #40 on: July 27, 2006, 07:20:41 pm »
Not your fault Tom

Offline Dachshund

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Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #41 on: July 27, 2006, 07:22:06 pm »
It is NO one's fault...remain calm they will find him soon.

Offline Trish

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #42 on: July 27, 2006, 07:22:23 pm »
Tom, don't be so hard on yourself... you did what you could under the circumstances.
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline tnboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 108
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #43 on: July 27, 2006, 07:26:13 pm »
The emergency room would not take any information because they said he is not there. Does anyone have his parents number he will not answer his cell phone

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #44 on: July 27, 2006, 07:32:40 pm »
I had a long talk with Dan's mom. The police have talked to Dan on the phone. There is not anything more we can do...his parents know where he is. His mom assures me he is okay and is going to call me if there is a problem.

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #45 on: July 27, 2006, 07:34:50 pm »
Quit calling...I am in contact with his parents, they have my number and said they will call me if anything changes. Right now they believe Dan is okay.

Offline tnboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 108
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #46 on: July 27, 2006, 07:35:31 pm »
Thsi is making me crazy, I just hung up with him and he told me he is out on some road out of the city limits.He told me he has not and will not speak with his parents. Do you guys think he is lieing to me. I just feel helpless but don't know what else to do?

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #47 on: July 27, 2006, 07:37:45 pm »
Guys, I believe you all did what you can do. You are all troopers.

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,058
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #48 on: July 27, 2006, 07:40:21 pm »
I hope I am right...but yes he is lying. The police and his father have talked to him on the phone. That I know for sure. I hope he is not lying to the police, parents, and you. If he is, then there is nothing we can do. Remain calm...I will let you know as soon as I know.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2006, 07:46:31 pm by Dachshund »

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: What I have just done...
« Reply #49 on: July 27, 2006, 07:40:39 pm »
Rod is right

 


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