Another massage parlor story from a worried husband

[worried_josh]

I am a proud father of a one year old, living in a long term relationship with my girl for over 5 years now. I’m sorry for being straight forward in my long story, and I thank you in advance for any help!

I’ve made a huge mistake a week ago when I went to a massage parlor to get a so-called „sensual” massage from an African girl on my business trip in Poland. At the beginning of the massage I told her I didn’t want any happy ending, just put some sensuability in it, with teasing maybe. So at the end of the massage she asked me to lay on my back (full naked), she got naked as well, and laid on me, as if we did a „69” oral sex, which we didn’t... Anyway she started teasing me with a soft handjob, and I touched her vagina with my hand, without fingering her, just stroking on the outside of it for 5 minutes (maybe inserting my finger just a tiny bit). No orgasm from any of our sides, just teasing. After that I got dressed and left the place.

So summed up: I received a handjob from her without cumming, and I touched the outside of her vagina with my fingers. No licking, no kissing, no penetrative sex.

My questions are:

1. She was extremely wet and although I tried to keep in mind not to touch my penis with the same, wet hand while still in the bed, due to my excitement I can’t remember if I did... So, I MIGHT have touched my penis (even the tip of my penis) seconds after teasing her, with my hand wet from her vaginal fluid, which could get in the „hole”. I know the virus is fragile, dies as exposed to air and so usually hard to catch this way, but this thing is driving my crazy... Do I need to worry? Note that I don’t have any fresh cuts on my hand/fingers, and neither on my penis.

2. Again, because of excitement I can’t remember if she licked my penis during the handjob thing, or maybe using her saliva. Any risk if she did?

3. I got extremely worried yesterday when I was reading about the first sympthons of HIV. 4 days after my „mistake” I got really sick, with high temperature, vomiting and diarrhea. It came all of a sudden and passed in 2 days.  No sore throat, mononucleoses kind of sympthons though... My illness might be unrelated to the massage (as I travel a lot, I could have got it on a flight), but my terror makes me beleive I’m experiencing the first sympthons of HIV...

4. Do I need a test apart from the sake of peace of mind?

I am extremely worried now and can’t wait till the next week to pass so I can get myself tested. My worry is obviously greater now that I don’t only worry for myself, but for my wife and my daughter who is still breastfed... 

[Ann]

Josh,

1. No, you do NOT need to be worried. Mutual masturbation is NOT a risk for hiv infection and it doesn't matter how wet she was or where her vaginal fluids went on your body.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect. For this reason, bodily fluids outside the body do not pose a risk and that means masturbation is not a risk for hiv infection.

2. NO RISK. Getting a blowjob is absolutely NOT a risk for hiv infection. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

3. You aren't experiencing symptoms associated with hiv because you have NOT BEEN AT RISK for hiv infection. Please keep in mind that it's cold and flu season and there's a lot of flu about this year.

4. No, you do not need to test over this NO RISK situation. If you do test, it would be strictly for your peace of mind.

Ann

[worried_josh]

Ann,

Thanks for your reassuring reply. My panic probably came from guilt. To be honest I had never been to a massage place before and there one I visited didn't look like how I imagined them to be - it was more like a run down brothel or something, and it gave me a bad feeling even while I was there...

Josh

[Andy Velez]

Josh, as Ann has already told you, you're worrying needlessly. You did not have any risk for HIV in this incident.

Guilt is a whole other matter. You did what you did, accept that, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. That's best for you and for your family. Really.