Risk Question

[RobertoG]

Hello,

I was wondering if you could help me out with a quick question regarding infection with the HIV virus.

I am a married man and have been monogamous before and during my whole marriage, and still am. So I have not done too much research into HIV, and am thus not very well informed. I think I need to change that, although I still plan to remain monogamous.

At my friend's bachelor party at a strip club, I did receive some lapdances from a lady. I remained fully clothed during the dances, and she was fully nude. There was no sexual contact of any kind, but what has me concerned is the fact that I had a fresh scrape on my knuckle. About a quarter of a cm wide. I injured it on the way to the club, and didn't think it was that bad. The next morning though, I saw that a scab had formed on it, so it may have been open while I was getting the lap dances.

What's going through my head is whether or not I could have been infected by any vaginal secretions from the lady that was dancing for me. The only way I could see that happening is if she got some on her hands (she definitely wasn't fingering herself during the dance, but she did touch herself in her vaginal area a few times). She touched my hands a number of times as well, and so would have come into contact where my cut was. I'll be honest, I didn't notice any wetness, but it's still at the back of my head, as I wasn't really looking for wetness either.

Would testing be warranted, based on the activity I have just described? I apologize if it's trivial, because I am aware that it likely is. I guess it's a big thing to me based on the lifestyle I lead.

Roberto

[Andy Velez]

Roberto, relax. You are worrying needlessly. HIV is a fragile virus and is not transmited in the manner you are concerned about.

Sexually the ONLY confirmed risks for transmitting HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Nothing else.

You have no cause for concern over this recent incident. On with your life...

[RobertoG]

Thank you very, very much for your swift reply Andy. I thought I probably wouldn't be at risk based on what I read this morning on this forum. But it really helps to hear about my personal situation directly. I will put this behind me and get on with my life. Thank you very much again!

[RobertoG]

Hi Andy,

Thanks once again for your comment. It truly helped me and I didn't think about this incident for 3 weeks, and thought I had put it behind me. I still want to put it behind me, and am working on it. But was wondering if you could help me, hopefully one last time.  

I do believe that I wasn't at any risk based on the incident above. I asked other experts as well at the same time I asked you, and they all indicated the same...no risk. I believe them, and you, of course.

But the mind is a strange thing sometimes. I made a big mistake by trying to reinforce the fact that I was not at risk by using my lack of symptoms of ARS as further proof. And of course, exactly 3 weeks after my incident, I came down with a low grade fever for 2 days (about 100.2F at max for a couple of hours, and then around 99.5F for the rest of the 2 days, with temperature fluctuating a bit throughout). No other symptoms except a couple of loose stools, and feeling a bit tired on day 1. Would that be similar to typical ARS?

I actually feel foolish asking this question, because through my reading, I already know that the symptoms are not really indicative of anything. I know not everyone gets them. And I know they are similar to symptoms caused by infections by numerous types of virus. And like I said, deep inside I know that I wasn't at risk either. But still, I wanted to ask you the question above.

If I've broken any rules or violated etiquette, I apologize in advance.  

Roberto

[Ann]

Roberto,

In case you hadn't noticed, it's cold and flu season.

You haven't experienced ARS because you haven't had a risk.

And by the way, MANY people never experience a single symptom of ARS, yet have been infected. Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status. ONLY testing will.

If you cannot bring yourself to believe us that you had no risk, go test and collect your negative result. Simple.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[RobertoG]

Hi Folks,

I am back with a question after 7 years so am posting in my old thread. Was wondering if the experts can help me out a bit again as I am feeling anxious.

I will be getting an HIV test (4th gen with blood drawn and sent to lab) on Monday because I am starting a new relationship. I was last tested (negative) 5 years ago, but haven't been sexually active except one instance since then, which I will explain below.

I won't focus too much on risk, as I think I am not really at risk based on reading other posts and also re-reading what I posted above 7 years ago. Risk is a large number of nude lapdances with various women on many visits to strip clubs (I was always clothed), with perhaps compromised skin on my face and neck, but re-reading my post and responses below, I believe I am not at risk based on vaginal fluids from the women going from their vagina to their hands to my compromised skin. Or vaginal fluids soaking through my pants to my urethra.

The one instance of sexual activity I had was condom protected oral sex performed on me by a female CSW. Condom stayed intact, and was used throughout, but I have a small skin tag on the shaft of my penis, which has never bled in my life as far as I know, but could have been irritated/compromised as the oral sex lasted about an hour and was very vigorous. And that portion of my penis shaft may not have been covered all the time by the condom. The lady also mentioned she had "rubber burn" in her mouth from performing the act for so long. I am not sure what that means, or whether it means bleeding. I didn't notice any blood though. Still, from reading the forum, I guess I'm not at risk for HIV from this either?

Anyway, my main concern now is getting a false positive Elisa test result, as that would worry me. Do you folks know if alcoholism can cause false positive HIV Elisa test results (4th gen)? I am stopping drinking now, and I can safely say that the alcoholism hasn't impacted my ability to stay safe. But I have likely given my liver a tough time for a number of years.

And I guess I may as well ask again if you folks think I am at risk, or should I be expecting a negative test result? The above two are definitely my largest risks (I'm not even going to mention the casual contact scenarios that are going through my head right now, but I can manage those pre-test jitters. 

Thanks!
Roberto

[Jim Allen]

Hiya

Getting a lapdance and your penis sucked is not an HIV concern. Nothing you mentioned is going to change that.

Alcoholism will not cause a false-reactive. Keep in mind the screening test is over sensitive and not very specific, it's to screen out any negatives leaving any reactive results for more specific testing to determine HIV status

So, should you have a reactive result it's not a diagnosis and your doctor would run further testing to confirm your status.

[RobertoG]

Thank you very much for your reply Jim!

[Jim Allen]

You're welcome

[RobertoG]

Thank you for that last message Jim.

Your timing is impeccable as I just received the results of my HIV test and am on my way home, and as you predicted, it was negative.

I apologize if I'm posting for no reason, but I guess it's important to close the loop on these conversations. There are many people like me who get worried, despite the valuable information you and your colleagues share with us. Of course some of us are at risk of infection, but when you are in the waiting period, it's hard to be rational and quantify the risk you are at. Or if you're like me, you get worried irrationally, despite the assurances you receive from people much more knowledgeable in the subject.

I'm not really sure what the message I'm trying to send is, but I hope people reading this that are like me (worry over non risks) understand that the people who volunteer on this site and this particular forum really do know what they're talking about, and will give you excellent advice. I've had fears before...I've always been told here that I'm not at risk (and I've seen people who really are at risk been told the truth too). But I've never been let down.

I know, easy for me to say now, as I've tested negative. But I myself seem to revert back to logic once that happens. I'd encourage folks to trust the advice given here and save themselves a lot of worry.

And of course I wholeheartedly thank the folks who help on this forum. You are great people that are making a huge difference for others!

Roberto

[Jim Allen]

You're welcome.

Glad you can put this behind you now.

Best, Jim

[RobertoG]

Hi Folks.  I believe I am still required to post my new questions in my previous thread, correct?

Thank you again for the previous times you have helped me. I seem to be in a position for my annual HIV risk question again. It is about oral sex again (which is what I limit myself to, due to my irrational fear of infection). When something a little different happens though, I like to ask an expert about it again, to be 100% confident.

I had oral sex performed on me by a North American female CSW. She indicated she was not HIV positive.

I am extra cautious, so washed my hands and put one of the condoms she provided on myself. She undressed and performed quite rough oral sex on me, and I felt teeth quite a lot. I held the bottom of the condom in place throughout as further precaution.

Maybe 15 minutes into the act, I pulled my penis out and noticed a brand new dark coloured bump on the head of my penis, close to the urethra, but a little lower. I immediately stopped the act and went to the washroom, removed the condom, filled it with water to check that it was intact (it was still intact). I then washed my hands and took some toilet paper and gently touched what I now believe to be some trauma caused by friction. It didn't seem to be bleeding, and I washed my penis. I then inspected the condom again, filled with water again to make sure that I didn't miss a leak (I didn't). I also didn't notice any blood on the condom from the lady's mouth, but not 100% sure as I had been filling the condom with water.

The condom was definitely covering the little wound throughout the act as the wound was on my penis head.

The next day, while showering, I noticed the wound bleeding. The following day though, the wound had completely healed and pretty much disappeared.

Am I at HIV risk? I am still trying to get back with my estranged wife. Should I get tested before having sex with her again. This is my only sexual risk and only sexual act since my last negative HIV test a year ago.

Thank you!

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Even without a condom receiving a blowjob is no HIV risk to you whatsoever, it lacks the conditions needed for transmission hence nobody has ever acquired HIV from receiving a bj.

Also stop filling condoms with water, it doesn't tell you anything useful and it's irrational, paranoid behavior even if you ask me.

[RobertoG]

Thank you. So I assume that little wound thing on my penis head would have been similar to my urethral opening anyway, so wouldn't add any additional risk. So, without a condom too, I would be at no risk. And the condom was just additional protection, and also protection from other STDs that could be transmitted via insertive oral (and HIV is not one of these).

Thank you for your help. I will also try to avoid filling condoms up with water. Yes, it's irrational and paranoid, which describes me perfectly when it comes to HIV.

Thanks!

[Jim Allen]

Indeed, the wound made no diffrence, getting your penis sucked is no HIV risk.

You're welcome.