HIV Prevention and Testing > Do I Have HIV?

Very Scared. . . Kinky sex got out of hand

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I don't really know what information I'm looking for here--I think I just want to share this story because I have no one I can tell it to.  I'm very upset and scared.

As a gay man, I have always been extremely careful sexually.  I have had a limited number of sex partner (under ten) and have been extremely safe with all of them.  I have enjoyed getting into 'bondage' type sex with them, and it's been a lot of fun.

I met a guy online and went to a bar to meet him firsthand.  He was experienced as a dominant in the bondage scene, and he seemed intelligent and I got a good vibe from him.  On another occasion, I met him at his house.  In several emails, I had told him that my one major limit was no bareback sex.  I had emphasized safe sex in at least six emails, and he was agreeable to that.

During the encounter, he inserted his penis into my anus and thrusted maybe seven or eight times.  I said, "Of course you have a condom on, right?" I had heard the sound of tearing before he entered me, and since everything regarding safe sex had been agreed upon beforehand, I was simply checking for my own peace of mind.  I have always been the submissive, receiving partner and have never had anyone NOT use a condom.

He immediately pulled out and said, "No, I'll put one on right now."  I was very freaked out.  He assured me he was disease free and he certainly hadn't come yet.  I, of course, left the encounter, shaking and naseous.  I couldn't believe that my trust had been so violated.

Now I'm very worrried I have hiv.  Can someone very knowledgeable please help me?  Is a few (under ten) anal thrusts likely to transmit hiv?  I know it's possible, of course, but should I be this worried?  I couldn't sleep last night and have considered going to the hospital for the PEP treatment--but maybe that's extreme.  I feel raped.  I feel stupid.  I feel like I don't ever want to have sex again.  And I feel very, very scared. 

First of all read the "Welcome" post at the top of the page. You don't have to have ejaculation to get infected. The only way to know your status is to be tested at the proper time. That will be 13 weeks past your last exposure. It's always good when you are sexually active to be tested annually.

Yeah, I know there's a possibility, and I've read the Welcome stuff.  What about the PEP treatment though?  Is that something I should seek out?

PEP must be started within 72 hours. Most health care providers will not give out PEP medication unless it is confirmed that the other person is truely HIV+. It is totally up to you if you want to seek out PEP.

It's been about ten hours since the encounter, so I'm definitely still in the window for PEP.  I've been researching its pros and cons.  I'm just so scared it's hard to think logically and make decisions the way I usually do. 


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